weekend laughter session...
hi guys and gals.... gooodd morningg.. have a nice weekend... let's start this weekend with some indian letters.. This is a collection of leave letters and applications written by people in various places of India ... PLEASE LET ME KNOW HOW LOUD YOU LAUGHED. :)
1.An employee applied for leave as follows:
Since I have to go to my village to sell my land along with my wife, please sanction me one-week leave.
2.From an employee who was performing the "mundan" ceremony of his 10 year old son: "as I want to shave my son's head, please leave me for two days.."
3.Leave-letter from an employee who was performing his daughter's wedding:
"as I am marrying my daughter, please grant a week's leave.."
4."As my mother-in-law has expired and I am only one responsible for it, please grant me 10 days leave."
5. Another employee applied for half day leave as follows:
"Since I've to go to the cremation ground at 10 o-clock and I may not return, please grant me half day casual leave"
6. An incident of a leave letter
"I am suffering from fever, please declare one day holiday."
7. A leave letter to the headmaster:
"As I am studying in this school I am suffering from headache. I request you to leave me today"
8. Another leave letter written to the headmaster:
"As my headache is paining, please grant me leave for the day."
9. Covering note: "I am enclosed herewith..."
10. Another one:
"Dear Sir: with reference to the above, please refer to my below..."
11. Actual letter written for application of leave:
"My wife is suffering from sickness and as I am her only husband at home I may be granted leave".
12. Letter writing: -
"I am in well here and hope you are also in the same well."
13. A candidate's job application:
"This has reference to your advertisement calling for a ' Typist and an Accountant - Male or Female'...As I am both(!! )for the past several years and I can handle both with good experience, I am applying for the post ..
MUFY:)
"Good morning, bapu and bibi jis. This is your very handsome captain welcoming you to Ranj-Jet Airways. Sorry we are four days late in taking off but I had to do some overtime at the bakery.
This is the ek, dho, five, sex flight to New Delhi. We cannot guarantee that we will end up in Delhi but rest assured it will be somewhere in the East. And if you are very lucky we may even be landing on your village! A real Punjabi will land where he wants to, isn't that right brothers!
Today we have 12 passengers on the plane - which is a bit of a problem because we only have 5 seats! Hmmm.
For safety reasons we will be counting all the passengers again during and after the flight. We have a very good record for safety. In fact we are so safe even the terrorists are afraid to fly with us! I am pleased to tell you that over 50% of our passengers end up at their destination. For those of you who don't make it, don't worry, our staff have lots of experience consoling the next-of-kin. If, however, you are still worried then ask Stewardess Bubbly to tell you about our out of court settlements.
We will do everything to make your journey an enjoyable one and even a surviving one! If our engines are too noisy for you, don't worry, we'll turn them off! We even make your fall to earth pleasant by serving complimentary chaa during free-fall! And for our religious passengers, we are the only airline who can help you find out if there really is a God!
Sadly, today's in-flight movie will not be shown because my son forgot to record it off the television. But if you really want to see a film then we will be glad to fly next to Air India so that you can look at their movie through the window.
Although there is no-smoking in this airplane, you may find that during the flight you can see smoke in the cabin. Don't worry your good minds over this! It is only the early warning system on the engines telling us to slow down! Yes, we are very advanced at Ranj-Jet Airways. Not only do we provide you with a life jacket but we also give a free bathing costume to the aunties and a swimming kacha to the uncles!
Some airlines are happy to fly thousands of feet over landmarks but not Ranj-Jet Airways! For your pleasure we try to get as close as possible for the best view. If, however, we go a little too close then please let us know. Our co-pilot sometimes becomes too enthusiastic. Remember that guy who crashed into the White House, well it is the same bloke!
Now kindly sit on your stool and tie your belt. For those of you who can't find a belt please tie your nala to the door handle. And for those of you who can't find a stool, sit on your suitcase instead.
Sorry, but I won't be flying with you today because I have to attend my nephew's wedding. But please make yourself at home and help yourself to the cock pit. Thank you for choosing Ranj-Jet Airways. We guarantee that we may not always take you on a flight but we'll definitely take you for a ride!"
***The biggest risk in life, is not taking one!***
Advice to father thinking about whether he should let his daughter continue her studies or get her married : " Vell, if you wantu study her, then study her. If you wantu marry her, then marry her ."
An instructor explaining the working of pendulum: "Take an elephant of negligible weight"
Instructor: "Take a copper wire of any metal...and pour any liquid solution of sulphuric acid in a round bottom flask of any shape."
"Do not smoke and spoil the botany of ur body"
He/she's my cousin brother/sister.
"You three, both of you kneel down together separately"
"Hey, please keep quiet. The president is rotating outside"
"I have to put my child to sleep"
" Florida paan shop. Prop: Raju . B.A, M.A. "
" Don't talk bad in front of my back "
Did you cut the ticket, yet?
"Entry too entry otherwise disentry"
The principal just passed away.
Who took out the breeze of my cykill.
My cykill is understanding the tree.
Open the windows and let the AIR FORCE come in"!
"Open the doors of the window, and let the atmosphere come in "
***The biggest risk in life, is not taking one!***