Arab Jokes

thexonic
By thexonic

1) An arab goes to USA for the first time, at the airport he gets a rent a car and goes on a drive to the Mall. When he gets to the mall's parking area, he see's an officer and talks to him in arabic accent:

Arab: Good morning
Officer: good morning to you too
Arab: Can I bark here?
Officer: USA is a free country, u can bark wherever u want.

2) One day a married arab guy (Ahmad) visits lebanon and falls in love with a girl, upon arrival back home he speaks with his wife:

Ahmad: I love a girl in Lebanon and I want to marry her, I will spend 3 days with you and 2 days with her
Wife: No
Ahmad: Ok I will spend 5 days with you and 1 day with her
Wife: No
Ahmad: Tell me what do you want so I can marry her?
Wife: I want to spend 3 days with you and 2 days with her.

By britexpat• 13 Aug 2008 09:29
britexpat

One silly fact: The reason that the media has kept a low profile on this "issue" and not pursued questions regarding her sexuality is that she is NOT an elected official..

By thexonic• 13 Aug 2008 09:24
thexonic

Oh no way, I think she's bi lol.

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Who the hell needs pot when u got Cookie dough :D

By labda06• 13 Aug 2008 09:21
labda06

Grrrrrr Thexonic, she is not ugly. She's pretty. I love the gap between her teeth. She did not sleep with any man to get there. As a matter of fact, she slept with women. FACT. :P

"Quit hanging on to the handrails . . . Let go. Surrender. Go for the ride of your life. Do it every day." Melody Beattie

By labda06• 13 Aug 2008 09:19
labda06

True Britexpat but surely she can have it ALLLLLLL!

We can have it ALL!!! I really admire her for obvious reasons. But this aspect is a bit disappointing because it suggests to get to THAT level you have to forsake a family life. And I really believe we can have it ALL. The career and the family.

"Quit hanging on to the handrails . . . Let go. Surrender. Go for the ride of your life. Do it every day." Melody Beattie

By thexonic• 13 Aug 2008 09:18
thexonic

Britexpat, U r right, wonder how many guys she slept with to get there lol. Specially with that kind of body and an ugly face, she did have to work really hard.

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Who the hell needs pot when u got Cookie dough :D

By britexpat• 13 Aug 2008 09:13
britexpat

She's black and extremely successful. To get there, she has had o work hard and prove herself to be better than most - especially males.

Maybe, men find her too daunting to have a relationship!

By thexonic• 13 Aug 2008 09:10
thexonic

That will keep him busy and away from war atleast for sometime lol.

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Who the hell needs pot when u got Cookie dough :D

By labda06• 13 Aug 2008 08:59
labda06

Britexpat LOL. I wonder what her "problem" is anyhoooo??? Maybe she's just not impressed by the male anatomy...uhem...I mean the girl breathes weapons of mass destruction. Do you really think that girl can be fazed? I think not.

Thexonic...lets just pray he doesnt get war happy again. The guy is bored. He needs to be kept occupied. Someone throw him a golf club. hehe

"Quit hanging on to the handrails . . . Let go. Surrender. Go for the ride of your life. Do it every day." Melody Beattie

By thexonic• 13 Aug 2008 08:50
thexonic

Labda u never knwo what bush is upto, but i'm sure he's planning a firework before he leaves his seat :P, u know "old habits die hard"

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Who the hell needs pot when u got Cookie dough :D

By britexpat• 13 Aug 2008 08:48
britexpat

"It's rumored in Washington that Condoleezza Rice has a new boyfriend. Allegedly, he's Canada's Foreign Minister, Peter MacKay. Since he's a diplomat and he visits her at the White House, he has to have a Secret Service code name. Do you know what his Secret Service code name is? 'Captain Kirk.' You know why they call him that? Because he's going where no man has gone before." --Jay Leno

By labda06• 13 Aug 2008 08:47
labda06

LOL Thexonic, I cant recall which user said on another thread "(Bush) is going to kill us all!" I laughed like crazy...Dodo.

"Quit hanging on to the handrails . . . Let go. Surrender. Go for the ride of your life. Do it every day." Melody Beattie

By thexonic• 13 Aug 2008 08:42
thexonic

Labda, I think bush needs to get rid of his beak, he looks like that woodpecker who has a habit of going everywhere and tattooing his name lol

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Who the hell needs pot when u got Cookie dough :D

By labda06• 13 Aug 2008 08:37
labda06

Errrrr, any room for a boob job, toe surgery, eyelash trimming, tatooed eyebrows...???? :)

I'll tell you who needs surgery, Bush the Dodo. Nah, he just needs a face transplant.

"Quit hanging on to the handrails . . . Let go. Surrender. Go for the ride of your life. Do it every day." Melody Beattie

By thexonic• 13 Aug 2008 08:34
thexonic

Labda, all I am saying is that condi should see a dentist, get her nose job done and fix her hair and get a booty implant lol... she'll be off the heezy :P

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Who the hell needs pot when u got Cookie dough :D

By labda06• 11 Aug 2008 18:54
labda06

Hahahahahaha, nasty Brit

"Jordan's gonna have a case of "assus beatus redus". That's Latin for I'm gonna beat his a55 til it glows."

RIP Bernie Mac

By britexpat• 11 Aug 2008 18:52
britexpat

To each her own, but I know a really good optician you can go to...

By labda06• 11 Aug 2008 18:18
labda06

Hahahaha, you guys are craaazzyy!!

Drac where dyu get these crazy images!!

Thexonic/Brit, lay off my girlfriend Condi, she's hottt!

"Jordan's gonna have a case of "assus beatus redus". That's Latin for I'm gonna beat his a55 til it glows."

RIP Bernie Mac

By thexonic• 11 Aug 2008 14:40
thexonic

Dracula, where did u find my keys ???? ahahaha

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a coisa mais importante na vida é SHEESHA- "Sheesha man"

By Dracula• 8 Aug 2008 20:46
Dracula

By Dracula• 8 Aug 2008 20:39
Dracula

By janeyjaney• 8 Aug 2008 20:12
janeyjaney

post some more pics Drac! I remember this leb frnd of mine who was always broke coz he would spend way too much on clothes and booze!! I cant complain, he knws how to party though!-------------------------------------------------

╬ We are the renegades of funk! ╬

By Dracula• 8 Aug 2008 20:06
Dracula

Mhon Al Leesha!

By janeyjaney• 8 Aug 2008 19:57
janeyjaney

monalisa has been LEBANIZED!! Lol-------------------------------------------------

╬ We are the renegades of funk! ╬

By anahmed• 8 Aug 2008 19:43
anahmed

geeee...thanks good idea... shall try it... and will send the pics across... ^_*

Keep a close watch on my QL posts..

Never Ask for a SMILE..just GIVE it..

By thexonic• 8 Aug 2008 14:42
thexonic

lol thats not monalisa, I wonder what would da vinici say about all the comments gaven to mona lisa.

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Norton Anti-virus cant keep draculas and T-viruses away, "G-lik" can ;), get yours today :D.

By britexpat• 8 Aug 2008 14:37
britexpat

Swoooooooooooooooooooooonn!

Too bad she's gay!

By anonymous• 8 Aug 2008 14:35
anonymous

Monalisa on Arabian Seminar

By thexonic• 8 Aug 2008 14:34
thexonic

I think Condi. Rice should go to Lebanon for some plastic surgery too :P

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Norton Anti-virus cant keep draculas and T-viruses away, "G-lik" can ;), get yours today :D.

By Murali• 8 Aug 2008 14:05
Murali

the rolex one is really good.

By spicemom• 8 Aug 2008 13:40
spicemom

monalisa now looks more like the babes in baywatch.......(my wat huge melons....oooops>slaps self)

life's too short so make the most of it, you only live but once.......

By anonymous• 8 Aug 2008 13:29
anonymous

By Apple• 8 Aug 2008 13:15
Apple

Monalisa looks more happy after the job :DDDD

yaahooo!

By thexonic• 8 Aug 2008 07:12
thexonic

Bunch of wackos (dracula) trying to bash me lol.

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Norton Anti-virus cant keep draculas and T-viruses away, "G-lik" can ;), get yours today :D.

By nadt• 7 Aug 2008 21:18
nadt

lol Brit, actually i liked the rolex one too..

By britexpat• 7 Aug 2008 21:06
britexpat

Couple of Aussie Lebanese jokes..

Q. What do you call a Leb on a bike?

A. Ali Davidson

Q. What do u call a Leb on the moon?

A. Naser.

By nadt• 7 Aug 2008 20:58
nadt

What is this Lebanese bashing...totally disgusting and so true.looool..

Drac, you have a photo for every occasion..lol..

By 3sure-hunk3r• 7 Aug 2008 20:10
3sure-hunk3r

ha ha ha what is it about lebanese....? i have colleague before a lebanese he couldnt start the work with out talking something about x really, now i got it.....

one leb. lady evry time she passes by the glass window she always post and see her poise stop and arrange her self she did not notice that thers some one in the other side of the glass could see her.

"Born optimist nothing can keep me too low for so long"

By Dracula• 7 Aug 2008 19:55
Dracula

ana...visit lebanon :)

but take a picture now and one after! :)

By anahmed• 7 Aug 2008 19:30
anahmed

lebanon did wonders to mona...

Never Ask for a SMILE..just GIVE it..

By Rizks• 7 Aug 2008 18:47
Rizks

Dra.. didnt get wat tat signature pic of ur STATES ??

By Dracula• 7 Aug 2008 18:43
Dracula

By britexpat• 7 Aug 2008 18:41
britexpat

You crack me up... :0)

Would love to see the other angle with the tight jeans..

By Dracula• 7 Aug 2008 18:38
Dracula

By britexpat• 7 Aug 2008 18:36
britexpat

A Lebanese opened the door of his BMW, when suddenly a car came along and hit the door, ripping it off completely. When the police arrived at the scene, the Lebanese was complaining bitterly about the damage to his precious BMW. "Officer, look what they've done to my Beeeemer!!!", he whined.

"You guys are so materialistic, you make me sick!!!" retorted the officer, "You're so worried about your stupid BMW, that you didn't even notice that your left arm was ripped off!!!"

"Oh my gaaad....", replied the Lebanese, finally noticing the bloody left shoulder where his arm once was, "Where's my Rolex???!!!!!"

By Dracula• 7 Aug 2008 18:26
Dracula

By janeyjaney• 7 Aug 2008 18:16
janeyjaney

harry! So so true! I have a lot of leb friends and this is just spot on! LOL!-------------------------------------------------

╬ Don't look back in anger, Sally. ╬

By Dracula• 7 Aug 2008 18:04
Dracula

AMEEN!

By Harry99• 7 Aug 2008 18:03
Harry99

10. 645 is too early for most Lebanese to get up

9. Lebanese are always late, they would've missed all 4 flights

8. Hot girls on the planes would have distracted them

7. Lebanese only uses cellular phones to make missed calls and not to communicate with each other

6. Free alcohol on the plane, get it?

5. The suspected car found outside of Boston Airport would be a BMW not a Ford.

4. They wouldn't have a meeting in Afghanistan "there are no girls there", perhaps in Sweden

3. Talking behind each other's back would start a big fight on the plane.

2. 18 Lebanese can't even organize a simple lunch to get together! You think they can organize such an attack?

1. They would've been too busy fixing their hair.

By Abdulrehmansajid• 7 Aug 2008 17:55
Abdulrehmansajid

lolz nice one.......yeah kinda difficulties... :P

By mallrat• 7 Aug 2008 17:55
Rating: 2/5
mallrat

grrr...

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.

.

By Swift06• 7 Aug 2008 17:51
Swift06

如果您認為我是母狗! 您應該遇見我的媽媽!

By thexonic• 7 Aug 2008 17:42
thexonic

abdulrehmansajid, having difficulties to understand simple jokes???

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Norton Anti-virus cant keep draculas and T-viruses away, "G-lik" can ;), get yours today :D.

By Abdulrehmansajid• 7 Aug 2008 17:38
Abdulrehmansajid

:S

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