Globalization

From my Email

Moral lesson:
Be industrious and clever. This can happen not just in
PH but anywhere around the globe!!
Be in-charge of your own corporation/position. Manage your staff.
Never take a long LOA - you can loose your desk, worst your office!

SOCIALISM:
You have 2 cows, and you give one to your neighbour.

COMMUNISM:
You have 2 cows. The State takes both and gives you some milk.

FASCISM:
You have 2 cows. The State takes both and sells you some milk.

BUREAUCRATISM:
You have 2 cows. The State takes both, shoots one, milks the other,
and then throws the milk away...

TRADITIONAL CAPITALISM:
You have two cows. You sell one and buy a bull. Your herd
multiplies,and the economy grows. You sell them and retire on the
income.

AN AMERICAN CORPORATION:
You have two cows. You sell one, and force the other to produce the
milk of four cows. Later, you hire a consultant to analyze why the
cow has dropped dead.

A BRITISH CORPORATION:
You have two cows. Both are mad.
HONG KONG CAPITALISM:
You have two cows. You sell 3 of them to your publicly listed
company, using letters of credit opened by your brother-in-law at the bank.
Then you execute a debt/equity swap with an associated general offer so
that you get all 4 cows back, with a tax deduction for keeping 5 cows.
The milk rights of 6 cows are transferred via a Panamanian intermediary
to a Cayman Islands company secretly owned by the majority
shareholder. He sells the rights to all 7 cows' milk back to the listed company,
and proceeds from the sale are deferred. The annual report says that
the company owns 8 cows, with an option on one more. Meanwhile, you
kill the 2 cows because the feng shui is bad.

AUSTRALIAN CORPORATION:
You have two cows. Business seems pretty good. You close the office
and go for a few beers to celebrate.

AN INDIAN CORPORATION:
You have two cows. You worship them.

FRENCH CORPORATION:
You have two cows. You go on strike, organise a riot, and block the
roads, because you want three cows.

A JAPANESE CORPORATION:
You have two cows. You redesign them so they are one-tenth the size
of an ordinary cow and produce twenty times the milk. You then create
a clever cow cartoon image called Cowkimon and market it worldwide.

A GERMAN CORPORATION:
You have two cows. You re-engineer them so they live for 100
years, eat once a month, and milk themselves.

AN ITALIAN CORPORATION:
You have two cows, but you don't know where they are.
You decide to have lunch.

A RUSSIAN CORPORATION:
You have two cows. You count them and learn you have five cows. You
count them again and learn you have 42 cows. You count them again
and learn you have 2 cows. You stop counting cows and open another
bottle of vodka.

A SWISS CORPORATION:
You have 5000 cows. None of them belong to you. You charge the
owners
for storing them.

A CHINESE CORPORATION:
You have two cows. You have 300 people milking them. You claim that
you have full employment, and high bovine productivity, and arrest the
newsman who reported the real situation.

IRAQI CORPORATION:
Everyone thinks you have lots of cows. You tell them that you have
none.
No-one believes you, so they bomb the **** out of you and invade
your country. You still have no cows, but at least now you are part of a
Democracy....

SURREALISM:
You have two giraffes. The government requires you to take
harmonica lessons.