Ways To Know You're A Woman
When asked 'Is something bothering you?' reply 'no' then get pissed off when you are believed.
Become attracted to someone because he is outgoing and loves parties, start dating him, and immediately expect him to stop this behavior...
Always take an hour longer than promised to prepare for the evening.
Always hide very important events in very unimportant terms so you can have something to be pissed about when your boyfriend declines because he has pressing business, i.e. You say 'It's no big deal, but I was wondering if you would like to visit my parents with me if you are not busy this weekend.' when you mean 'It means a great deal to me for you to see my family with me this weekend whether or not it is possible!'
If you are trying to sleep, it's because you're exhausted from your almost superhuman level of daily achievement; if he is trying to sleep it's because he is lazy.
No matter what the activity, he doesn't do it as well as a past boyfriend.
If he pays attention to you, he is smothering you.
If he gives you space, he is ignoring you.
Hate any bar he likes
Demand to be treated as an equal in everything - except when paying for meals, airplane tickets, concerts, beers, clothes, etc. - these are required gifts proving his love.
Declare PMS at any given time. If he is knowledgeable about your cycle, tell him you're irregular from all the stress of your life.
Remember that ANY woman who so much as stares at your boyfriend must be labeled a WH02E and your network of friends must be informed immediately to spread this as quick as possible.
Make his life miserable by making him feel guilty about doing anything other than catering to your needs.
Break into tears for no apparent reason.
Ask for help in some endeavor then become livid when it is given.
Insinuate yourself into your boyfriend's group of friends, break up with him, then make sure you are present at every gathering for the next month just to rub
it in.
aargh wat did i miss?just done doing nails
life's too short so make the most of it, you only live but once.......
I think I'll watch Turkey against Chechoslovakia now.
Bye for now.
I thought you meant rude oil. XD
"Everything in this book may be wrong." Illusions: The Adventures of The Reluctant Messiah by Richard Bach
"A woman is like a tea bag. You never know how strong she is until she is in hot water."
Happy Alexa?
That's why I never have any luck with the opposite sex!
Britexpat, but Tarzan lives in a tree-house.
ok I'll keep going then. Woman are like busted kitchen appliances....
boils at nothing, freezes without reason.
Ungaaawa! Tarzan take woman by hair and drag to cave!
Huaaaaawwwwaaa auuawwwaaaa awwaauuuaaaaaa!
heero_yuy2, that's a contradiction. Dragons are Magic.
GASP!!WHAT?!!lol
The easy way is to feel in between your legs .... lol
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No excuses, my Dear. We live in a country of crude oil. don't we?
they melt if given special treatment.
apologies for the crude jokes before.
Next time you call yourself ScientificDragon...your explanation ain't magic. LOL
"Everything in this book may be wrong." Illusions: The Adventures of The Reluctant Messiah by Richard Bach
all wrong, you know you are a woman when you know that you have two X-chromosomes instead of one X and one Y.
sorry, being bovine I can't comment on women but I can say that Daisy does nice milk and her udders look like wrinkled sausages......
alexa - ya said it girl, btw will see you come thurs
SN - we have lots of decisions to make dont we?still love being a W-O-M-A-N.........muahhhhhh
life's too short so make the most of it, you only live but once.......
You know you're a woman if you spend 20 minutes chatting on the phone, even though it was a wrong number..
Idea 10: Make Her Scream Her Head Off_
Idea 9: Make Her Stop Talking to Her Friends
Idea 8: Call Her Mean Names in Front of Her Friends
Idea 7: Make Her House Smell Like Crap
Idea 6: Make Her Feel Like Her Butt is HUGE
Idea 5: Make Her Think You Are Cheating
Idea 4: Don't Give Her Jewelry
Idea 3: Make Her Feel Like a Piece of Meat
Idea 2: Put a Muzzle on Her
Idea 1 : Bring a Naked Woman Into Your House
_______________________________________
Advice 11 : Ruuunnnnnnnn!!!
Always with wings..lol...applicator or not..that is the question lol
let's see now -wings or no wings?.........la la la la
life's too short so make the most of it, you only live but once.......
unfortunately the sanitary aisle is an inconvenience we wish we could do without...lucky men....
britexpat..
Q - What does Dracula use to make a cup of tea?
A - A tampon
...nothing beats the women's shoes habit. Not even that 'sanitary aisle' thing can surpass it.
"Everything in this book may be wrong." Illusions: The Adventures of The Reluctant Messiah by Richard Bach
lol spicemom......
Q: What is the difference between a woman with PMS and a snarling Doberman Pincher?
A: Lipstick!
dumb fools! Do you wanna live without them?
SN- hmmm it's no easy task getting something that fits perfectly , soft to the touch and gives the overall protection without any spills............lol >wink wink
life's too short so make the most of it, you only live but once.......
and they usually hang around the sanitary protection aisle in the shops.....
...THEN you must be woman!
"Everything in this book may be wrong." Illusions: The Adventures of The Reluctant Messiah by Richard Bach
Not good enough, britexpat. "Obesity"??
brit you must mean the 'puppies'?
life's too short so make the most of it, you only live but once.......
The easiest way to find out if you're a woman is to look for the two bumpy bits on the front..
lol @ flanostu........which means i just had it last week??:D
life's too short so make the most of it, you only live but once.......
PMS is another name for mad cow disease?