Advice ! How to Handle Anger ?

The problem is 50% solved, if You realize you have to manage your anger.

Tips for the rest 50%:

Have a glass of water.

Perform ablution.

The Messenger of Allah,PBUH, said

“If one of you is angry when he is standing, let him sit down so that the anger will leave him; otherwise, let him lie down.”

Anger can be a terrible ordeal,especially when it is towards a partner.

When the situation is bad enough to get extremely angry about,I think we should just leave it for later. Simply leave the venue and the situation and withdraw for the moment. Detaching ourselves will provide us with the time to think and evaluate our behaviour.

Good luck

you really have the nerve and you cant control your temperamental outburst....you need to seek anger management.:D

I would add what happens to be one of my Favorite quotations:

"The strong man is not the good wrestler. Rather,the strong person is the one who controls himself when he is angry." - The Prophet Mohamed

Having witnessed so many marriages bite the dust due to one or both of the spouses suffering from anger management and lack of patience, I advice you to be very committed to overcoming your problem soon or suffer a lifetime of pain and regret.

perhaps you should think of the consequences of your actions i.e. breaking stuff and particularly if you have kids and are doing this in front of them!

also, assuming that this has been going on since the last 5 months - you need to check what food you are eating? are you getting enough exercise? are you releasing the toxins? are you happy at work? analyze what is the root cause(s) of what is making you tick? you know the reasons best.

the next time you want to break your phone - just think of the shop who is selling you those android phones - they will be delighted if you go back and buy some more! Don't do it. This belongs to your family.

are you living close to the corniche? it would be brilliant if you could walk even for 1/2 an hour - particularly when you know you are going to do something drastic - get out of the house - of course let your wife know - or else the family will be stressed!

or take on any activity that you like.

but analyze what happened 5 months ago. share everything with your wife.

Good luck.

from what i learnt, anger is a 'machanism' that human normally use to hide their "hidden feelings" which could be the result of 'disappointment/fear etc".... so in this case, you should know what had caused you to be sad and had triggered the anger....

whenever small misunderstanding happens between you and your wife, you both need to find ways to solve the matter...dont keep the 'tiny anger' in your heart thinking that its not gonna cause any harm....these tiny tiny anger are the ones which will unite as one big explosion.......!

and finally whenever you are about to get angry, make sure you lock your hand phones in a drawer! good luck! :D

also, buy Nokia..they never break

Jazak Allaah Khair

استغفر الله العظيم من كل ذنب أذنبته

Keep repeating it as long as your angry 33 times more or less would be fine.

Also keep repeating my signature below.

Take a walk, go for a drive. Even if you just go to supermarket buy any cold drink or ice cream have it n then go back home.

Take a deep breath!!!

Tasnim, Who Told you i dont Pray ??? :D

Thanks All of you for your Kind Advice.

1. anger is an action to make ourselves feel 'I am alive'

2. so, anger is good.

3. find your anger.

5. love your anger because it is good to be feel that you are alive.

6. try to make an understanding between you and your anger

The above statement may feel absurd or senseless. I agreed, it is senseless. Then show me something full of sense!! show me something full of meaning.

Nothing can be proved as meaningful and full of sense. Every action of human kind can be meaningful at the same time meaningless from a different angle.

Your dearest friend's face can be my no.1 enemy's face.

There is no objective reality.

It is the angle which determines.

Everybody is in a race to find reach their goal.

The more we get closer, the more it go far, results never reach the goal.

The problem is not the goal, but setting the goal.

Setting the goal outside you is waste of energy.

Invest in yourself.

If you cant love yourself, how can you love your wife?

What we "are" means what we "think"

A human mind process 60,000 thoughts a day.

The more interesting is that, 90% of todays thoughts are just the repetition of yesterdays thoughts.

The more you are able to manage today's thought, the more you will be able to handle tomorrow’s.

You can break S2 means you can afford a new one.

Find opportunities to enrich yourself.

Be simple like a rose that spreads it fragrance.

Never overlook the power of simplicity.

Either be a King or a servant make no sense, if they dont acknowledge themselves.

time and space are limited, so am stopping here! have a good day!!

Majority of the people have this so don't think something is wrong with you.

When you have anger, it takes full control of you. Easier to say but also doesn't mean you can't bring to practice.

Let's understand:

a) Think of you as a person very responsible and gentle(even if you are now) and attempt to act like one. This will gradually change your behaviour. I can tolerate others branding me bad on any other aspects but not on behavioural.

b) Your wife is part of your life journey therefore show her respect and allow her to share thoughts with you good and bad. She completes you and it's a small but long process that begins with understanding.

c) A quote I remember says "If there is a problem that can be solved, dont worry.

If there is a problem that cannot be solved, dont worry". It could be the worrying part that ignites your anger.

d) When filled with anger and hatred means you are parallelly booking an ultra-fast ticket for a hospital admission for yourself. Check in web what all things anger can cause to you and you'll be shocked to learn. The causes are mostly invisible but the most dangerous. The victim is you not the Samsung S3 or your wife.

--

She is very good for nerve system

I would go and make wodu, wodu is washing before pray.

You can simply go out of home for a while but not driving.

Anger = serious problem

#1 You might have high blood pressure and then you should see a doctor.

#2 Or you might have one orgnism in your body producing more hormon "Thyroid disorders"

If one and two are negative "Not Applicable" you can see a physcology doctor.

Counselling lol

Counselling lol

for counselling...

SAY" BISMILLAHI RAHMANI RAHEEM" ....!

If you are serious, instead of asking questions here, go and see a Psychotherapist. they are available @ Alhi, not so sure about Hammad but should be there.

Move into an unfurnished apartment and dont buy any gadgets for the time being only buy a bed and put it on floor, buy steel utensils and a helmet for your wife (two in case you apprehend your wife may throw things at you)....:) The inconvenience would make you tremble at the thought of getting angry when you start normally after a while ...:)

i got this as an email months before...

me too suffering the same. but Alhamdulillaah two things changed my life.

1- Deep faith in Qadr

2- If i shout or angry it spoils my life only not even my wife.. coz women dont mind things seriously and they dont think as we do ( not meant for hatred to woman..but fact is fact).... so try to go away from the scene... just think oooh its not the right time..and remember Almighty and ask Him for support... really now Alhamdulillaah i can control it...

once i broke my ever favourite Nokia 6230i... and many situations like happened.. but now i blame myself...and understood this life is a test/trial for me for an eternal life(as Allah says in Qur'an - Al Mulk).. so Shaitan try to make trouble ...but learn and practice practice patience, and Allaah says Allaah is with who has patience... so when you are angry - know that you are away from Allaah or Allaah not loving you. so the more patience you have the more you are close with Allaah.

Another thing helped me is the story

summerdrizzling frm which site are you copying this story ?

showed him how the fence was now riddled with holes. It

was no longer the sturdy, strong fence it once had been.

It was now weakened and damaged. Every time the wind

blew strongly the fence swayed in the wind, for it was so

full of holes that the breeze caused the fence to move.

“Do you see that?” The father asked the boy. “For you,

anger is a thing of the past. Yet, this fence will never recover.

Every time you get angry at someone it is like driving

a nail into them. You may later remove the nail, but the

hole is still there. The effect of your anger can not be

removed.”

In life sometimes it is easy to get angry, easy to yell, easy

to hit those we love. We assuage our own consciences by

saying, “He made me mad,” or, “She made me hit her.”

But, whose hand is it really that hits? Whose mouth is it

really that speaks harsh words?

There was once a young boy with a terrible temper. He

used to speak harshly and get angry many times a day, at

the slightest provocation. His wise father told him that

every time he got angry he had to hammer a nail into the

wood fence in the backyard. The first day the boy hammered

45 nails into the fence – practically his entire day

was spent in the back yard. The next day, with his arm

sore from hammering, he tried to get angry less. He hammered

only 25 nails into the fence the second day. By the

end of a few weeks, the boy proudly went to his dad and

told him that he had not gotten angry at all that day.

So, the boy’s father told him that now he could start removing showed him how the fence was now riddled with holes. Itwas no longer the sturdy, strong fence it once had been.It was now weakened and damaged. Every time the wind blew strongly the fence swayed in the wind, for it was so full of holes that the breeze caused the fence to move.“Do you see that?” The father asked the boy. “For you, anger is a thing of the past. Yet, this fence will never recover.Every time you get angry at someone it is like driving a nail into them. You may later remove the nail, but the hole is still there. The effect of your anger can not be removed.” In life sometimes it is easy to get angry, easy to yell, easy to hit those we love. We assuage our own consciences by saying, “He made me mad,” or, “She made me hit her.” But, whose hand is it really that hits? Whose mouth is it really that speaks harsh words? the nails from the fence. There were 2 ways that nails could be removed: either if the boy could go an entire day without getting mad, or if the boy apologized sincerely to someone whom he had hurt through his anger.So, the boy began to apologize to people whom he had wounded and he tried hard not to get angry. Slowly, slowly,the nails began to get pulled out of the fence. One day,the boy proudly went to his dad and told him that all the nails were out of the fence. He told his dad that his anger was “a thing of the past.”

His dad then led the boy by the hand to the fence and

Shanima Please PM me your Contact Info.

Thanks

Thanks Guyz.

Rizk its LOVE marriage thats why my wife is like Knife :D

Strm, Its not about work or anything but I m getting angry for nothing.

In Islam that is 2 rakaat salah around midnight + Tasbi + your duwa'a but must be from your heart otherwise you got only exercise...

Was your marriage a forced marriage ?

Do you love your wife ?

Is there understandings between you two ?

Anywayz, when you are angry just say "Audhubillah-hi-minashaitaan-nirajeem" 3 times and the shaitaan sitting on ur head which is pulling the anger trigger will go away....:)

seek professional help asap!( psychlogical or anger managment therapy.)

i think u should take a walk or as soon as u know u r not gonna control ur anger , leave the room, or dont stay at the same place as of her...... wen u come back to senses , then talk to her.......

try to reason urself , is it really your wife u r angry at or any work related stress that u blame it on her..... i think realizing a reason will make u understand more and will able u to control ur anger .

Hi ,there r certain exercises to keep away from anger,but if u don't mind u should visit a psychiatrist ,because in the long run this anger can effect ur health severely,if u need info on how to take appointment I can help u,may God bless u &ur family

Thanks .. Well she is Employed and she is Head Nurse.

the Main reason is nothing but i always get angry on just Small small things and then breaking the Things

Hi,

The best thing is to avoid getting angry. I know, it is easy said than done. Think carefully to identify the reason, are you stressed at work? u think your wife is not understanding you.?. etc. I also was also a bit angry when I was more young. Think of the long term effect on you and the people around you. Think from the other person's perspective. One thing I realised is that we should not be angry with people who are helpless and depnends on us. For example if your wife is not employed and dependent on you, what is the insecurity feeling you are creating? If you shout at your subordiate they canot respond why? But imagine doing the same with your boss, your neighbour.. see the effect.

May be it might help you if you read books like "7 habbits of effective people", consult counsellors.

Hope this hlps, Have a nice day..