Are You Ready to Have Children ?

every_mothers_nightmare
By every_mothers_n...

How To Know Whether You Are Ready to Have Children

Mess Test:

Smear peanut butter on the sofa and curtains. Place a fish stick behind the couch and leave it there all summer.
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Toy Test:

Obtain a 55-gallon box of Legos. (If Legos are not available, you maysubstitute roofing tacks) Have a friend spread them all over the house. Put on a blindfold. Try to walk to the bathroom or kitchen. Do not scream. (This could wake a child at night.)
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Grocery Store Test:

Borrow one or two small animals (goats are best) and take them with you as you shop at the grocery store. Always keep them in sight and pay for anything they eat or damage.
*******

Dressing Test:

Obtain one large, unhappy, live octopus. Stuff into a small net bag, making sure that all arms stay inside.
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Feeding Test:

Obtain a large plastic milk jug. Fill halfway with water. Suspend from the ceiling with a stout cord. Start the jug swinging. Try to insert spoonfuls of soggy cereal (such as Fruit Loops or Cheerios) into the mouth of the jug, while pretending to be an airplane. Now dump the contents of the jug on the floor.
*******

Night Test:

Prepare by obtaining a small cloth bag and fill it with 8 - 12 pounds of sand. Soak it thoroughly in water. At 8:00 PM, begin to waltz and hum with the bag until 9:00 PM. Lay down your bag and set your alarm for 10: 00PM.Get up, pick up your bag, and sing every song you have ever heard. Make up about a dozen more and sing these too until 4:00 AM. Set alarm for 5:00 AM. Get up and make breakfast. Keep this up for 5 years. Look cheerful.
*******

Physical Test (Women):

Obtain a large beanbag chair and attach it to the front of your clothes. Leave it there for 9 months. Now remove 10 of the beans.
*******

Physical Test (Men):

Go to the nearest drug store. Set your wallet on the counter. Ask the clerk to help himself. Now proceed to the nearest food store. Go to the head office and arrange for your paycheck to be directly deposited to the store. Purchase a newspaper. Go home and read it quietly for the last time.
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Final Assignment:

Find a couple who already has a small child. Lecture them on how they can improve their discipline, patience, tolerance, toilet training, and child's table manners. Suggest many ways they can improve. Emphasize to them that they should never allow their children to run riot. Enjoy this experience. It will be the last time you will have all the answers. "

By eleven• 14 May 2009 01:17
eleven

we need more time to ready.

By donosa• 13 May 2009 23:35
donosa

Not ready at all, and not in a rush at all... hehe

By shoeaddict• 13 May 2009 23:26
shoeaddict

stick underneath the sofa,,,and yes it worked,,,no more roomies for the weekend........:)

By queenofthedamned• 10 May 2009 15:50
queenofthedamned

Lol!!!! They really do have resemblance. Are they brothers? :)

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"Admit your mistakes...before someone exaggerates the story."

By Dracula• 9 May 2009 23:40
Dracula

Shrek 2

By Dracula• 9 May 2009 23:39
Dracula

Shrek 3

By Geoffrey I Boycott• 9 May 2009 23:27
Geoffrey I Boycott

Yeah we get it, jeez show offs!!

****************************************

I say what I like and I bloody well like what I say

By Geoffrey I Boycott• 9 May 2009 23:25
Geoffrey I Boycott

Shrek with a sun tan - Beautiful

****************************************

I say what I like and I bloody well like what I say

By toxic_nurse• 9 May 2009 23:25
toxic_nurse

waaaaaaaaaaa

dracuuuuuuuu

ur a genius

waaaaaaaaaaa

All is fair in love and war....????

By Dracula• 9 May 2009 23:24
Dracula

By Geoffrey I Boycott• 9 May 2009 23:22
Geoffrey I Boycott

Dracula - Lovely child, I imagine.

Toxic - Not showing the intellectual side of your personality but that is not important right now lol. You said you wanted a baby despite not having a husband. ;-P

**************************************

I say what I like and I bloody well like what I say

By toxic_nurse• 9 May 2009 23:21
toxic_nurse

hey dracu, how did u do shrek pic? i remember u edited one pic and posted it here, how did u do it?

just asking....

All is fair in love and war....????

By Dracula• 9 May 2009 23:18
Dracula

.

.

huh?

Toxic Geoffrey JR?

.

.

By toxic_nurse• 9 May 2009 23:16
toxic_nurse

whats that supposed to mean?

All is fair in love and war....????

By Geoffrey I Boycott• 9 May 2009 23:02
Geoffrey I Boycott

Toxic - At last, I have found you ;-)

****************************************

I say what I like and I bloody well like what I say

By toxic_nurse• 9 May 2009 23:01
toxic_nurse

ru serious?

God, common, ive been wanting to have a baby even if i dont have a husband, and now ur telling all these? ur trying to scare all those potential moms out there.

All is fair in love and war....????

By Geoffrey I Boycott• 9 May 2009 23:00
Geoffrey I Boycott

Saw title, sorry didn't read the content - You offering?

****************************************

I say what I like and I bloody well like what I say

By anonymous• 9 May 2009 22:56
anonymous

when ours are doing the same.

I will hoist that up the flag pole and see who salutes it!!

By shoeaddict• 9 May 2009 22:54
shoeaddict

i dnt have children,but heck,ill do that to my roomates who act like children...lol

By anonymous• 27 Apr 2009 12:33
Rating: 3/5
anonymous

I'm not ready for that because I Don't have a wife yet hehehhe.

But Any ways if you have all of this:

1.Permanent Job

2.Your Own House

3.Your own Business

So you will know the answer to your question.

For me if you have all of that , you can give to your own children like a good dress,good Education and Better sheltered.

The Final question is are you ready to be a father to your Children?

If Yes pls. Be reponsible Father!!!! that is the real man broh!!!

Last Question are a female or a male hehehehehehehehehehe

That's all my friend.

By every_mothers_nightmare• 26 Apr 2009 07:55
every_mothers_nightmare

i tried that long back.......it works.

Aana free, jaana free,

Pakde gaye tho khana free.

By SolidSnake9• 26 Apr 2009 07:40
SolidSnake9

lol... im adopting a cat at QAWS instead..

By ishqia• 26 Apr 2009 07:02
Rating: 4/5
ishqia

lol........ good one

By queenofthedamned• 26 Apr 2009 07:02
queenofthedamned

Hahaha! Thanks for the nice picture over there. I can't tell if Im ready. (after I read the above).. :)

-------------------------------------------------------

"Admit your mistakes...before someone exaggerates the story."

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