Unfaithful: Wake up call
May this serves as a wake up call to all the ofws.
Several reasons have prompted a person to venture across the sea but prime is to fulfil a long time dream for his family... any other is incidental. The common problem faced by the poor ofws is the so-called homesickness. Can this problem justify infidelity? Can this reason cure the pain? Is this a valid excuse to find another partner in the absence of your real partner in life? What kind of person can manage to assume the position of a legal spouse knowing well the situation? You will probably say that the situation is typical and I have to forget it and move on. Easy to say than done especially when every time I close my eyes i can feel the tremendous pain...when oftentimes I will fall into reverie seeing them both together. What kind of generation we have today? While the legal spouse is crying in so much pain, the “other” remains arrogant. Many times I asked for the return of everything the other’ received but proud and arrogant is that ‘other’. The reason for the refusal is the ‘other’ claims to be a victim as well. How can you be a victim well in fact you know from the start your status as a homewrecker? You don’t have dignity. Neither you have a drop of decency nor conscience. Where did you get the guts to withhold something which are not meant to you? Are you implying a slut personality that everything you milked from my spouse was a payment? What good heart can I expect from a slut, whore, uneducated and atheist? I surmise the readers will say to me to deal with my spouse. Im afraid i can’t. I simply cannot look into his eyes. Im not closing my door to my spouse but i can’t open my heart either...yet. I am in a traumatic situation...capable of cursing the ‘other’. To my spouse, how could you forget me and our kids? What kind of person you are for imitating your peers? To the other, how can you manage to smile and stand up with your head up and enjoying ‘my things...my property’ amidst the crisis you caused to my family? No words is enough to describe the pain i am festering. Now tell me, can you blame me if i sue you? I won’t sue you today. Not now. I will come back into your life as a surprise. Anyway, the law gives me reasonable time to deal with you. Vengeance is best served when cold. You will mourn the day you stab me at the back...you will regret your decision not to return what is rightfully mine. To all the married ofws, do not reason out long distance from your family because they too are longing for your love. Spare your family from the pain. May ‘you’ able to read this. Think again if you made the right decision.
hey i just enj0yed my restday! why always lock up the interesting topics of broken? just when we are already in it?! duh!
broken post another one! haha no name dropping so you won't be locked up!
when are we going to meet?
wagon.... who are you? why post such comments? if you're the guy of broken well you're just giving us a BS here it seems that someone's pretending to be the guy just to get another sympathy on the other end huh...
anyways broken just focus now on what you have to do to lock up your guy with you... why get locked up in this kind of forum when you can't with your husband? now i see why...
god bless you and your family :p
till then....
britexpat - "take him for all his worth" as in "take him to the cleaners"?
/Never mind. Don't answer that. We all know that can be interpreted either way.
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Don't want no drama,
No, no drama, no, no, no, no drama
not only Filipina mind u...and also alots of cheaters around i guess and i hope ur not one of them.(cheaters)
MyNiceSpace
Well said.. Move on , but take him for all his worth..
Why the collateral attack against me? Trying to point to me and say ‘hey, this is all your fault’. How defensive you are and desperate indeed! You are asking me if i’ve been unfaithful? Do you have locus standi.... i mean, that’s tantamount to an unfounded accusation. "Ei incumbit probation qui dicit, non qui negat" (He who asserts, not he who denies, must prove)" You are saying that Im a nagger, jealous, always spying....based on what? Based on his words? I thought you said he was a liar. Now you are accusing me based on his lies. You were able to access his Friendster account and saw me and our kids. I thought you said you didn’t know that he’s married. That’s hypocrisy. Justifying your sins and pointing me as the culprit. By the way, a lady should not believe someone who is capable of betraying his own family. It was your choice to believe his lies... it was your choice to believe on him... That is dumbness. I agree, legal wife is never committed to the mistress. But the mistress is very much responsible for the rift created in one’s family. She may not be committed but she is liable. Know the distinction. It takes two to tango. A man becomes a good actor/liar in the presence of a gullible, unwary and desperate woman. A man cannot cheat by himself... he needs a partner to consummate the crime of concubinage. You consented girl... you allowed yourself to be used.... you wanted to cheat.... Don’t spit over your head. As to the property, let’s leave that issue to the court to decide. Soon.........
Again, I did not write to argue nor to flaunt my intelligence. It’s a wake up call not to me because I am very much awake.... . I didn’t write to get sympathy neither to be attacked collaterally by the mistress hiding behind pants. Like I said, it’s a wake up call. I know I’m not a perfect wife but that does not justify infidelity. Especially You who consciously know. If you think that it was my fault, why did you hide your affair? Why you didnt stand up for your illicit affair? If you think you are justified being a mistress, paramour, querida, kabit, why you did not declare your love for him? You knew from the start that everything about your affair was despicable and immoral. God who freed his people from slavery was thereafter betrayed... who am I, not perfect..not a deity, to be exempted from the whips of betrayal.
Im moving on. If only I could forward my life.... I want to live a happy and peaceful life...without you my dear husband.....
"""nag, nag, nag""" these are the exact words the mistress accused me of. You're very defensive and your words contain anger and jealousy. Are you the one who got mad and freaked out upon learning that I was pregnant? I think I know who you are. I challenge you...... Do you want me to disclose the name of my husband's mistress? Tell me, inter2006. Do you want me to name YOU as a mistress in this site?
deleted
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Don't want no drama,
No, no drama, no, no, no, no drama
I never thought that a woman will post something like this in this kind of website. Rather, a desperate woman like you....
Have you been to Qatar? or you're just staying in your country? If you're practicing law, how come you're doing this? you're just fooling yourself. You should be ashamed of your husband and yourself because if there's no problem with you I'm pretty sure your guy won't commit such mistakes that will ruin your family. I've been in this country for long now and I can assume you that my husband is not cheating me even if he's in another country. why? simply because I made sure that she won't find any other woman like me, I gave her my everything.... whats the use of chatting, texting and the webcam? if he's not finding time for you theres something wrong with you honey! if you're not here there's nothing you can do even if you have some papers or proofs it won't help you at all. might as well settle this issue with your hubby and not bother getting some revenge for that girl.
you see the problem with the guys here is that they're claiming that they're all single even if they're not! and the victim is always the single ladies. why? its simply because these guys are doing everything to win them.
don't ask the girl to give you everything that your hubby gave her because she'll just laugh at you and her friends will just pity you. how sure are you that you're barking on the right person when you don't even know where she's working? Let go of her and concentrate with your guy, if things won't work out let go god has plans for you and your kids.
I pity you but you have to move on. you're not sure if you're guy only dated once or just had a relationship once when he's far away from you...rather are you sure you're perfect enough that you can tell the world that you didn't do anything wrong with your guy? most of the guys here who cheats with their wives are just doing it to revenge with the wrongdoings of their wives...
ask yourself... have you done nothing wrong? isn't there any personal reasons why your husband cheated on you? move on honey! do the right thing think of you and your kids this won't help you at all. don't think that the members here will pity on you because not all of us will take your side.
move on and god bless you...
You can't teach experience...
Brit----LOL!
routes to escape from physical assault or seductions.
We all know and agree that Men are weak...
Stop judging others Victor.....
if someone gets harrassed saying that they secretly liked it or brought it on themselves is not right.
UkEngQatar "This kind of relationships will always exist. If this happens to unmarried partners then it is acceptable? But when it happens to Married partners it becomes Unfaithful?
If one wanted to cheat either break the marriage/"divorce' and get another. But don't justify that nagging and over suspicious wife is an excuse to cheat.
In my personal views, it is bound upon both; BOTH needs to work hard to build-up and maintain the relationship to stay for a longer period.
Re: Tunisian chick, that Qatari must be having good time and pretending embrassed, as 90% of the flight is empty...he could have change the seat......Interesting case.
Where they can purchase the best curry powder. ;)
I dont know a recipe for samosas? if they choose their husbands' hair oil?
LOL Brit..... she was hilarious...spread herself like butter she did!
"If you're unhappy with the marriage, then first leave. Then find a new partner.
Brit, Is it not some sort of blackmail? The man knows he cann't afford both....
then divorce is something to be expected. But the reasoning given by many today, they are just not treating marriage the proper way or God's way. Of course, Gypsy and the others will look at it differently, because they don't believe in God! It will just be plain companionship and sex (which they do as live-in partners or without marriage).
"dgoodrebel will always be the rebellious good one"
Getting back to the Tunisian chick......
What should I ask them? Which hurts them more there husband embarrassing and hurting them by messing around on them or divorcing them? Thinks it six of one and half a dozen of the other really. Either way the woman suffers cause her husband can't keep it in his pants.
Gypsy ask some woman of the Indian subcontinent..
Actually its shocking the amounts of married men here who like to make themselves available....
they are the ones who took the vows but dont respect them
on the other hand some girls make themselves very available.....
there was a tunisian chick on my flight last night. mini skirt shorter than the seat belt....massive boobies in very low cut top. despite the plane being 90% empty she went and sat next to the only Qatari and spent the whole flight bending across him to look out of the window.
the poor guy looked so embarrased and kept pulling his ghutra over his face and trying to turn away
I on the other hand was wearing a long african dress with long sleeves...loose... and got harrassed at the airport and on one of my flights by some creepy guy with one eye who kept asking me if i was Russian....
eventurally i threatened to punch him and he buggered off.
Agree with you 100%..
If you're unhappy with the marriage, then first leave. Then find a new partner.
Blablahblah, what's better divorce or cheating? I think the wife and kids would be better off with the divorce.
"if a person hates the nagging partner, or just don't get the love anymore, quit and get a new one...."
If a responsible man thinks quitting would hurt his wife and kids then what?
Om Maui "...there's a vow involved here, so breaking that vow is what makes cheating morally wrong."
- Sorry, IMHO, even cheating in a committed relationship is morally wrong. It's not legally wrong but morally wrong. In a marriage, it is legally AND morally wrong. Hence, my statement above that the only difference is it's easier to ditch if not married.
"if a person hates the nagging partner, or just don't get the love anymore, quit and get a new one. but it does not justify cheating."
- Agree partly - with last sentence. Nothing justifies going back on one's commitment - whether it be a legally binding one or not. BUT as for the simply change new one - that can be done BEFORE marriage but AFTER... to me, no. That's why I have to be very careful. There will be extremely limited exceptions for me.
/Geez.. I'm saying all this in between bites of lunch.
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Don't want no drama,
No, no drama, no, no, no, no drama
Yes Dmighty. An unhappy marriage is generally justification for divorce.
there is justification for divorce? As the way it is happening now?
"dgoodrebel will always be the rebellious good one"
UkEngQatar "This kind of relationships will always exist. If this happens to unmarried partners then it is acceptable? But when it happens to Married partners it becomes Unfaithful?
comments please"
Eeeeewwww! A "Please Dicuss" hijack.
Answer - same thing. Unmarried - also "unfaithful". Provided committed relationship and only difference - easier to ditch.
/Having lunch. 'xcusez moi....
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Don't want no drama,
No, no drama, no, no, no, no drama
ah i get your point. marriage actually institutionalized a commitment between a man and a woman that they will be exclusive. there's a vow involved here, so breaking that vow is what makes cheating morally wrong.
if a person hates the nagging partner, or just don't get the love anymore, quit and get a new one. but it does not justify cheating.
Gypsy, yes, they need sex. That is the real problem..They can either have it in marriage or out of marriage. Those who cann't have it out of marriage seek to marry and commit suicide thereafter....
No UkEng you don't. You need to be in a committed relationship, that could be marriage, common-law or boyfriend/girlfriend
do you have to be married to be faithful is my question?
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HE WHO DARES WINS
yes UK Eng, because the essence of marriage is exclusivity. when you're not married, you don't have commitments. that is why people get married, they commit to one another. you make and seal a deal, to be husband and wife.
so cheating is dealbreaking, a breach to the bond of exclusivity that both man and wife entered into when they exchange wedding vows.
They need sex. That's all they need or want women for.
Gypsy but men do need women badly.. there lies the problem you know...
This kind of relationships will always exist. If this happens to unmarried partners then it is acceptable? But when it happens to Married partners it becomes Unfaithful?
comments please
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HE WHO DARES WINS
Why would I settle for less then I deserve? I don't need a man that badly.
"Soooo, nothing wrong with staying single and not settling for less than what we deserve.."
I know EM it demands a very big heart for women...
blablabla, men do not need to cheat on their wifes if teir wifes become accomodative on good reasons."
- While you make a valid point - yes, it could be contributory faults, and that, only the parties who are in the situation will know for sure if they look at themselves in the mirror (figure of speech). But you gotta admit that some guys are just cads.
/In Broken's situation - someone else closer to the couple did say something that changes things, as far as reading her PoV.
INTER2006 - yes, valid points. But having said that, same thing when the shoe is on the other foot. there are nagging, jealous and possessive husbands/ bfs too. Darn irritating.
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Don't want no drama,
No, no drama, no, no, no, no drama
blablabla said, EM, Why cann't these women be broad minded and remain unhurt while accomodating other women in their lives? After all, all women have right for men, why remain unmarried for life? "
I see your point, of course. It depends on the individual circumstances one is faced with. I guess we would weigh the good and the harm in deciding what course of actions fits us best individually. Eg. A man may marry another because she and her children really need financial and emotional support. If it's one, maybe plausible. But if he has a battalion of needy women, then ...
Always subjective and a very fine line - because of this, the opportunistic (was it 80%? Lol!) of the population will endeavour ceaselessly to take advantage of anything and everything.
/Bottom line - only 10% are honest and out of that 10%, 9.99% are attached, engaged or married. Waiting for a star to fall and a blue moon for the 0.001% ... (0.009% are gay)... Soooo, nothing wrong with staying single and not settling for less than what we deserve.
//There was a line in one of Celine Dion's songs... hmm.. "Treat her like a lady" "rather be alone than be used". Uhuh.
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Don't want no drama,
No, no drama, no, no, no, no drama
Men become unfaithful when they are tired of being nagged all the time, jealous and possessive wives. Nag, nag, nag. never ending!!!! Always looking for something wrong with the husband. always spying on the husband. Jealous possessive women end up being cheated on more often. Broken, its your wake up call, which one are you? I know many filipinas are nagging, jealous and possessive kind. Yuuk!!!
Kareena74 this kind of acts are happening every where my dear, I was UAE and heard of lot of story of married local women having boy friends so no news..
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HE WHO DARES WINS
Kareena, men do not need to cheat on their wifes if teir wifes become accomodative on good reasons.
Now, Do you want your husband to give you a boy friend as gift on your birth day? I would, however, accept one if she so wills...
Broken, It is just so sad to read such a story.
But we have to ask the question what makes a man or a woman commit such an act? and why can they not stay faithful to their husband or wife when they are apart?
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HE WHO DARES WINS
and accomodate other men and share their wives with them.
That is alright to have a mistress and alright for a man to cheat on his wife? Then a woman can do the same.. She can go and sleep around too right? She has the right to cheat on her husband as well if he cheats on her.. Tit for tat.
EM wrote:
"But for these people, "doing the right thing" is satisfying themselves because they think the world revolves around them. They don't care who they hurt..."
EM, Why cann't these women be broad minded and remain unhurt while accomodating other women in their lives? After all, all women have right for men, why remain unmarried for life?
Thanky, Amoud. I was gonna cry oredi.... :0(
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Don't want no drama,
No, no drama, no, no, no, no drama
Kareena74 said, "...I mean I never expected married women doing all this here in Qatar.. IN the west perhaps yes but here, difficult to imagine..Bcoz people are generally very scared over here.. They would think ten times before doing such a thing.. THey know the laws are very strict and they would lose their jobs, get jailed and deported in a jiffy.. "
That's generally the case to ensure law abiding residents. But, as Alexa says, there are those who like "Mary, Mary quite contrary" just do the opposite to spite the laws. They use their creativity for negative purposes. But then again, their view of "negative" would be subjective.
As to an earlier comment about no 2 people have the same values - strictly speaking, true. But there are groups of people with similar values and thus, they form a community. But there will have to be give and take cos no 2 people will have exactly the same values. You may find a few people whom you think have the same values but in actual fact, they simply have values that are very close to yours so they appear to be the same. Never happens.
/Yawnn.... I'm cold and wanna curl up and nap. Sheesh!
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Don't want no drama,
No, no drama, no, no, no, no drama
Lol, Eagle, I am teasing you sweety :) You can edit till your hearts content ... _____________________________________________________
"Diplomacy is the art of saying 'Nice doggie' until you can find a rock - Will Rogers"
Kareena ...that was back home...in India...not here in Qatar...(oops...I should have added that).
Amoud, sowweee! I edit my posts when I rethink and decide that I don't want reveal certain details.
Wolfie, I can write long long very long posts in a few minutes - copy paste quotes and write from there - but waste time editing when I have said something I'd like to keep private on 2nd thoughts.
Kareena74 said "... At my age, it is unlikely that I would meet a man who has never been married so it is pretty normal for a man in his late thirties or early forties to be divorced or seperated.. Right?"
- Yes. Might not be a bad idea for a divorcee or widower, depending on whether you can let go of any idealistic expectations. They would have the necessary experience to let go of their own idealistic expectations by then.
Separated, better not, as still working things out with estranged wife. Never believe what you hear from one side until you can hear the other side and see the overall picture. Very likely one or both will be lying.
/5 minutes, Wolfie! TTFN.
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Don't want no drama,
No, no drama, no, no, no, no drama
news flash kareena, illicit relationships do occur and will continue to happen here as long as there are 2 or more consenting adults.
Bcoz people are generally very scared over here.. They would think ten times before doing such a thing.. THey know the laws are very strict and they would lose their jobs, get jailed and deported in a jiffy.. I personally would never do anything wrong in this country for sure.
I mean I never expected married women doing all this here in Qatar.. IN the west perhaps yes but here, difficult to imagine..
Lol, Kareena that is sarcasm right? (Just checking, I am not being sarcastic back :))
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"Diplomacy is the art of saying 'Nice doggie' until you can find a rock - Will Rogers"
That is indeed very shocking..Married women having affairs??? That too here in a conservative society like Qatar.. Really shocking..
That is indeed very shocking..Married women having affairs??? That too here in a conservative society like Qatar.. Really shocking..
In one my previous jobs there were 7 married women and all 7 had 2 to 3 "boyfriends". (each didnt know about the other).
The guys working there (including me) were pretty tame by comparison.
One of the affairs ended with the Girl committing sucide. This happened when the guy started threatning to tell her hubby, extortion etc. In fact she was one of the "unatainable ones" before her marriage.
Its like "if everyone is doing it then why not me if my hubby does not come to know" and of course the emotional aspect is also there I believe.
Bijoy .. well said
Kareena - Married women do date , many of them. You are too good a heart to know this world.
For Broken, its the hubby who is responsible, and committed, but the other corner of the triangle also shares , deffntly.
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Listen to Many..Speak to a few.
Revenge is sweet! Go for it!
guess you have too much time on your hand always typing looooooooooong comments
so desperate and post same topic on this thread too?
http://www.qatarliving.com/node/361903
"I do live by the motto that pessimists are usually right, but all the great change in history was done by optimists" -Thomas Friedman
LOLOL. I kept coming back to check the post as it said there were news one but it was you editing ;)
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"Diplomacy is the art of saying 'Nice doggie' until you can find a rock - Will Rogers"
Yes, ma'am!
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Don't want no drama,
No, no drama, no, no, no, no drama
1. Think on: Try explaining to a lion that it shouldn't be eating you, just because you are a vegetarian. Thats never, think your partner (ex) and you always had the same sense of moral justice, no two person ever has.
2. Revenge: fiction books like Godfather would say 'Revenge is a dish best served when cold' but then you as a living being, is to dwell in that feeling, until the time you would be able to get your revenge. Its a fire and you will never be the person, whom you were, by staying continuously in that fire. By the change of personality, you risk losing even things that are left now.
3. Act: Cry over it, but not more than a definite period then get on with your life and being a faithful parent to your children. Keep busy and be happy, this would show on your personality and without doubts you would soon have the right person at your side and a bunch of happy children around you.
Best Wishes!
God Eagle would you stop editing that darn post ;)_____________________________________________________
"Diplomacy is the art of saying 'Nice doggie' until you can find a rock - Will Rogers"
Yes, Kareena. Just because you won't go for married men, doesn't mean that others won't. Quite a number of them would - "gold diggers" would be the unpleasant term for them. They look for an easy meal ticket. It's actually very sad that people use other people. :0(
To us, "doing the right thing" is not harming other people, as far as we are aware of any actions that could cause harm. But for these people, "doing the right thing" is satisfying themselves because they think the world revolves around them. They don't care who they hurt.
- Re: the other woman being a victim - possible but not after she becomes aware that he's married. Arguably still a victim because women are ruled by emotions and she's fallen head over heels in love? It takes strength of character to be able to walk away.
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Don't want no drama,
No, no drama, no, no, no, no drama
Each individual is responsible and accountable for his/her deeds at the end.
So either face the music now or later; your choice.
You are talking about 10% dishonest (opted for living hell); I am talking about 80% opportunist, who could be saved with prohibition.
God has given eyes and brain to all and shown all of us what is right and wrong, then it is ones decision, what he prefers a Garden or Fire.
only 10% of all humans are Honest and 10% are Dishonest.
Rest 80% are opportunist and circumstances made them to follow the path of honesty or dishonesty.
So we concluded that state should have stricter laws and controls (plus home rules and discipline) to make these 80% of humans to follow the path of honesty and keep them away from cheating (to create a moral society) rather following the path of hedonist.
Kareena, its not your choice alone, many think so. And its because of the women like you its very hard for married men to cheat on their wifes. So ultimately its the fault of those women who don't think like you. Otherwise the poor men who are always after other women have no choice but to stay..
All sympathy with BROKEN......Life is long and beautiful, the time will heal everything but you need to keep courage and face the real challenges.
I greatly appreciate and approve Amoud and K74 views and comments toward a middle aged man and young single girls following well settled muslim men.
of a married man is like being a legal mistress.. You dont get any respect or status in society.. Everyone looks at you as a home breaker
from married Muslim men who proposed to me saying they would keep me as their secret wife.. Messyaar marriage or something they call it..
than to be a second wife of some middle aged man who cheats on his first wife...
I am married and looking!
No hurt intended for Broken, May God ease her pain.
of course there is. She is the walking example.
i agree. but honestly, i dont need to reinvent myself to get even with the girl. im a simple girl pursuing bachelor of laws and to note as a scholar. that's why i know my right. she is not innocent. she knows that the man is very much married. what kind of girl would ask a legal wife like me how many times i "come" when having sex with him. she's so cheap. i just post my experience to bring out the senses of the few.
OUR you and me Contract is for 2020 so be ready then
doesnt matter then if you are teethless or powerless i will still come ok so be ready :D
Your wife number 13 came to me last night she was complaining
i told her go to court and sue that donkey lover pervert pope.
6 wives Da! You bastard you told me you only had 3! Boo hoo hoo! ;P
You must add the Docket that rides your favorite camel in the farm.....
I must compliment you tonight, That is the longest Statement you ever wrote in QL or any forum. Most of the time, you only write half a sentence or four words only.
i thought that you lack those skills.
You can't teach experience...
:)
i am in my thirties
and i have 6wives
with over 3 dozen of kid
and every one knows
and still they ask me for a date
and i go
:D
"See no single woman would date a married man knowingly"
Kareen74- you're delusional. Wake up and smell reality.
You could always visit me in my confession Booth to discuss such topic. That way, we could get to know each other better, since I'm single....
Interesting point there Vegas. Women do indeed sometimes depend on their men for their survival (I am blessed not to be such a woman) and I think sometimes men know it and behave like pratts. _____________________________________________________
"Diplomacy is the art of saying 'Nice doggie' until you can find a rock - Will Rogers"
But all the biotches thought I was an already married guy trying to get down their pants...
And I actually had one say you didn't even give us a chance???
I said , well yeah I did...
Anyway it doesn't matter now...
Only reason I got involved in this thread is I am extremly compastionate about the OFWs working women over here and other countries...Who have looser or no husbands...And they sacrifice so hard for their kids...
And then when the kids don't appreciate what their mom is doing it is so sad...I was in iraq and I know many in this situation. So it is emotional topic fo rme whenver I hear this shyt...
She should just be happy he is sending money home...
Just my opinion...
Vegas out
You can't teach experience...
I agree with you, I have met frustrated and very angry wife's , who's husbands are cheating on them, on their own country. While they are busting their butts working for pennies, while their husbands living "la vida loca" at home. That is not including the suffering of the kids.
But in the other token there is wife's and husband's cheating on each other while in Qatar. I'm talking about the Filipinos population. Per said: NOT everyone is doing it, only a small percentage. Just given a bad rap to their own kind.
Kareena, lots of women will date married men. Now that my husband is older, more established (and oh so cute to boot :)) he attracks younger women looking for stability. As he is muslim, these ladies know he can have more than one wife so in some weird way it is ok to go after him. _____________________________________________________
"Diplomacy is the art of saying 'Nice doggie' until you can find a rock - Will Rogers"
to brought it out in the open (as in the forum), a sort of an outlet as I say. Secondly, I agree the first thing that comes in your head when you 'discovered' the unfaithfulness of your partner is 'to revenge'. But question is, to who? To your hubby? To the 'other party'? My own opinion , nobody is a winner here, all are losers. Legally, you can file a case against him or to the other woman (if she's married) to our own court in Phils. I'm sure you're educated enough to put these all in diplomacy and restrain yourself of thinking 'bad' thoughts. In other scenario, women who undergo this situation must have a confidante or a psychologist because 80% of them falls on depression. I suggest, you think it through and speak to your close family member, a trusted or seek professional counseling. Hope all ends well with you and be courageous, trust yourself:)
"I do live by the motto that pessimists are usually right, but all the great change in history was done by optimists" -Thomas Friedman
Well Broken, you need to think about what is best for you and your kids.
That should be your only focus. If what you and your kids need is financial support then just bide your time and get your act together.
This, in turn, will buy you some more time to figure things out: Do you stay or do you go?
There are other factors to be considered ..like, is this the first time; do you love this guy; etc.
Trust yourself to know what is the best situation for you and those kids.
Good luck and stay strong.
See no single woman would date a married man knowingly.. I would never do that.. At my age, it is unlikely that I would meet a man who has never been married so it is pretty normal for a man in his late thirties or early forties to be divorced or seperated.. Right?
You can't teach experience...
Sweet Vegas, but now you have opened yourself up as being a great guy. You will have flocks of leisure ladies beating down your inbox now hehehe.
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"Diplomacy is the art of saying 'Nice doggie' until you can find a rock - Will Rogers"
You can't teach experience...
Amound...Sounds like you have a pretty good life...
I kick myslef when I say something negative to my wife...
I'm praying I can praise and not be negative to her...
And there is no reason to be negative...
Ever...I have the best wife on earth...
You can't teach experience...
Ummm, Confession, I've never been in a relationship with a married man.
Anger??? well I do know girls who have and I've seen what they go through so...ya I'm angry for the wives and the girls cause I've seen what they go through.
OFW -- Overseas Filipino Workers
Gypsy said:
Personally I would never sleep with a married man...or at least I'd like to think I wouldn't...but who knows, these girls fall in love and then they're victims too.
Is that a confession or a state of anger from a broken relationship?
LMAO, seems I am the expert on this thread... hand me my blue ribbon please.
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"Diplomacy is the art of saying 'Nice doggie' until you can find a rock - Will Rogers"
Actually I have no experience in this Vegas, I've never been married so therefore have never had a husband cheat on me.
What does it mean?
This may sound 50's housewife Vegas but I have remarried and I keep a pretty good watch on my man. he is a good family man, and honest about things even if I dont want to hear them sometimes. I laugh now because he will sometimes tell me "you are getting a little fat sweety" after I have put on 50 pounds or so. I think if communication is open, and even though it is not always what you want to hear it is these things that will help your marriage survive. ____________________________________________________
"Diplomacy is the art of saying 'Nice doggie' until you can find a rock - Will Rogers"
I would listen to Gypsy advise...she knows more about this than anyone...
My point was just the OFW females who are over here and elsewhere supporting families causew they have looser husbands if any...And just you might wanna think twice before you dump him...
You can't teach experience...
I have met dozens of men who have portrayed either they are single, divorced or seperated but later I found out they were happily married but their wives were staying back home with children and they were in Qatar as married bachelors.. Men are such a---holes... They would do anything, make up sob sob stories to get a poor single woman's sympahty.
You can't teach experience...
Exactly Amoud. Men will say anything. The marriage is over, blah blah blah, I'm divorcing, blah blah blah. Personally I would never sleep with a married man...or at least I'd like to think I wouldn't...but who knows, these girls fall in love and then they're victims too.
Too true Gypsy, my husband was committed to me, not her. He knew he was jeopardizing his family whereas she has nothing to loose.
I place the blame with him, and quite frankly she was a victum also as he told her he was soon divorcing (which was news to me) and then she got the full force of this woman scorned. ____________________________________________________
"Diplomacy is the art of saying 'Nice doggie' until you can find a rock - Will Rogers"
The man has a mind of his own greentea. She can't make him stray or stay if he doesn't want to.
You can't teach experience...
they're just damn too selfish to give up and to keep their hands off the man even after they come to know the man is very much married and have a family.
Green tea
Thee is always the option to force those married folks in wearing a Chastity belt while overseas while waiting for their love ones.
For Gypsy,
i will personally tie her to some leg irons with a 200kilo ball at the end and a double layer kevlar chastity belt....
I agree with Amoud and Britexpat, it's not the fault of the other woman, she's probably as much a victim as you. The blame lay with your good for nothing husband.
This guy has no intention on leaving his wife...
He just got in over his head...
Just many do just leave their wife and kids...
Why so many women out there strugggling to raise kids alone with no support...Made me sick what I witness in Iraq...All those women risking their lives for their kids...And the worst part is when the kids don't appreciate what they are doing for them...
You can't teach experience...
I've seen this happen too many times with Expatriates.
we are all too ready to blame the "other woman", but IMHO, the man must take the major portion of the blame.
actually i was surprised to see a blank post from me so i was forced to fill it up :D)
for you to come back... how you will do it?
follow what Pops Fernandez did. She reinvented herself, though you dont have to be as sexy as her, but show your husband the smart woman that you are.
You can't teach experience...
At least he is working...
usually it's the other way around...
All I'm saying...
You can't teach experience...
Hmm, being a woman who had the same thing happen I can sympatize with your pain but I learned something from my ordeal.
1. It is my husband who has a commitment to me, not the other woman.
2. He probably lied to her about his situation, more than likely saying he was seperated.
3. There is usually somwthing wrong in the marriage to begin with if a man steps out on his wife. Stats show men dont cheat because the other woman is more beautiful, younger etc.... they do it because of the way the other woman makes them feel.
Sweety, you will get no joy in planning revenge against the other woman. Granted I hate women who go with married men and think they should be strung up by their toenails, I also realize these women are victums also. They are either commitment phobes who date married men because they know it wont last or they cant find a decent man of their own. They are messed up ladies.
Best thing to do is try and talk to your husband. Find out why, you may be surprised at his answers. If both of you are willing to work it out you will have to talk, cry and scream through it.
Another good piece of advice.... dont ask for details of his affair. I know you may feel you need to hear it but you dont, and once you know there is no going back. If you guys work it out, you will be sorry you have all these sordid details.
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"Diplomacy is the art of saying 'Nice doggie' until you can find a rock - Will Rogers"
Most OFWs I know over here are single mothers trying to support their families...While the husband if he still around smokes pot all day...
You can't teach experience...
"Have a provider" - She's working. And can improve herself.
The "provider" is providing for another woman when that provision should be to his family. It's a sorry excuse for a man who thinks only of himself and shirks his responsibility to the woman he married and the family they have.
And don't give me that sh*t about him falling in love for the first time ever with this other woman. It's a matter of making a decision (to get married) and honouring it. A man who cheats has no honour.
/Likewise for a woman who cheats. Egocentricity, weak character, etc. applies to both men and women.
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Don't want no drama,
No, no drama, no, no, no, no drama
Very sorry to hear of your trauma. And very well said. Agree with you.
Note: "Vengeance is best served when cold."
This will be pre-meditation, please do not take it too far because you have others eg. your children to think about. BUT yes, form a plan, keep it legal, set it into action and bury him if he doesn't take any measures to rectify his callous behaviour. Good luck.
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Don't want no drama,
No, no drama, no, no, no, no drama
Just be glad you have a provider...
And not a deserter like most of them...
God bless all the single/abadoned mothers out there...
You can't teach experience...