Wife Problem: Money Issues

Thanks to everyone who shares their views. My problem with my wife has been resolved. I have explained such things to her in a calmly manner. She understood. When asked why I am not replying to her sms/calls, I just answer that if I do, it will make the situation worst as I am not yet in a good mood to talk to her.

She said that she is now willing to support me in all my plans as it is very clear to her that I am doing such things for our future. Then, she told me that she even love me more because she knew now that I am responsible enough to carry a family.

Just to share a thought...

..."When married, one has to get into an argument once in a while since in this way one learns about the other."

[Johann Wolfgang Von Goethe (1749-1832), German poet, dramatist. Eduard, in Elective Affinities, bk. I, ch. 2 (1809).]...

why don`t u take her here and try to find a job for her? maybe she will know and understand how hard u`re working already and she just finish ur money just like that! and pls, make up with her, don`t be very easy to separate.

if she says that u search for another wife, then LUCKY U CONGRATZZZZ !!!

As I dealt the same problem before (with my mother), I just calculated their monthly expenses conservatively. Assuming their monthly expenses is around P10,000.00, I am giving them the amount P 12,000.00 as P 2,000.00 as the allowance for any incidental expenditures they would incur.

I would not give all my salary or big portion of my salary to them, because they too expect us to have savings in the future. Let them know that you value your hard-earned money and speak to your wife passionately. It is not auditing your money where it goes but by valuing the same on your family expenses.

Especially this time of recession, it is best that we should find ways to eliminate extravagant and unnecessary expenses, prioritize basic necessities only.

I think that your wife is just being emotional and you must understand her as you want to feel that she understand you too.

Goodluck and may God bless you and your family.

As I dealt the same problem before (with my mother), I just calculated their monthly expenses conservatively. Assuming their monthly expenses is around P10,000.00, I am giving them the amount P 12,000.00 as P 2,000.00 as the allowance for any incidental expenditures they would incur.

I would not give all my salary or big portion of my salary to them, because they too expect us to have savings in the future. Let them know that you value your hard-earned money and speak to your wife passionately. It is not auditing your money where it goes but by valuing the same on your family expenses.

Especially this time of recession, it is best that we should find ways to eliminate extravagant and unnecessary expenses, prioritize basic necessities only.

I think that your wife is just being emotional and you must understand her as you want to feel that she understand you too.

Goodluck and may God bless you and your family.

Dear Friend,

All have the same problem but everyone handles it differently.

1)I suggest never let her know your Income especiall in your case,otherwise it is not advisable.

2) Try to let her feel the shortage of Funds by sending less Remittance.

3) Try to Save directly to your savings A/c in home country or by investing in some good investments

4) Convince her to be a working woman for shortage of funds & understanding value of money & its saving in future.

5) History always repeat so do not split with your wife & compromise with her after all it affects Children & both of you

well, i will ask u something...how much you send monthly? how many children do u have? private school or public? do you rent or own a house? city or province? do you have relatives? mother, father who are sick? do you have other expenses? just asking only?

you know i agreed with them. Do you believe that the more you send money the more expenses she spend. Better to give her minimum amount every month and tell her to budget the money. If she can't save itself, then you are responsible to do that for your future. Be a wise man also. She dont know how difficult to work here in abroad away from family, budgeting for ourself to give them a good and better life. Think of it and goodluck

Dont let this single issue to be a reason for separation. think in other angles.. and ask ur self that she helps and respects ur ideas or not (regarding other issues).Expalin her every thing what u posted inhere.

Give time to change in her ideas.. (may be a month),be open and transparent....to her..

Dont go with flow.. you direct ur life flow....

All the best...

Thanks AWKHAN. I'm recently married and feel that I have responsibility for the things entrusted by my husband to me. But in the case of GREGBAIS, there is no need to change wives because this is not the main issue and will not result in anything, it may even add to his financial problems :D

GREGBAIS, if you want to have some savings then do it yourself. If your wife gets mad for reducing the money you sent to them, stand firm, you are doing this for their good. Suggest you open a savings account to make sure that you deposit your savings there. There are banks with 5% interest and this would help your savings. Sometimes we think by keeping it in the account where we receive our salary we will be able to save. But then we are not able to monitor and at the end of the day we spend everything.

Savings is very important not only for OFWs but for every expat. We still dream that someday we go back to our family and country. We can only do this if we plan and save for our future. Nobody wants to go home one day and look back what happend to the 20 or so years we were away and nothing much has changed in our lives.

Good luck and hoping you and your wife resolved things soon :D

IT HAPPEN TO ME ALSO FOR LONG TIME I THINK IT'S WORST THAN UR'S.I USE TO SEND MY REMITANCE EVERY MONTH BUT MY RELATIVE'S TOLD ME AFTER A WEEK'S MY WIFE ASK SOMEONE TO LEND HER MONEY OR EVEN FOOD.EVERYTIME SHE ASK ME MONEY FOR MY SON BOOK'S ETC. I BORROW FROM SOMEBODY AND I SEND TO HER.BUT WHEN I GO BACK (TAKE VACATION)I WAS SURPISE SO MANY PEOPLE COME TO OUR HOUSE I THOUGHT THEIR JUST ASKING SOMETHING BUT I DISCOVER THAT THEIR ASKING TO PAY THEM BACK! HE WORST IS I DECIDE TO SHIFT FROM CITY TO MY HOME TOWN,SO I NEED SOME DOCUMENTS FROM MY SON SCHOOL I PERSONALY VISIT MY SON SCHOOL AND I DISCOVER AGAIN THAT MY WIFE DOES'NT PAY EVEN SINGLE CENT'S FOR MY SON TUITION FEE.SO THE SCHOOL REFUSED TO GIVE DOCUMENTS FOR MY SON UNTIL I PAY THE FULL AMOUNT.

SHOCKING STORY! AND MAYBE IT WILL HAPPEN ALSO TO U OR OTHER'S I JUST WANT ALSO TO SHARE MY EXPERIENCE WITH MY WIFE.ALTHOUGH EVERYWHERE NOW EVERYTHING WAS SO EXPENSIVE

I TRY TO SAVE OUR RELATIONSHIP SHE PROMISE ME THAT SHE WILL START SAVING MONEY OR USE THE MONEY WISELY BUT ONLY FEW WEEK'S. ACTUALLY I DECIDE TO MARRY SOMEONE IN MALAYSIA BUT I GIVE HER (MY WIFE) ANOTHER CHANCE!!! AND SHE'S WITH ME NOW WORKING HARD BECAUSE SHE REALIZED HER MISTAKE'S....

MY ADVICE TRY TO TALK UR WIFE WITH PASSION AND LOVE DON'T JUST SEND SMS IT'S VERY IMPORTANT TO BE CALM WHILE UR EXPLAINING UR SIDE TO HER.WE KNOW THAT IT WILL BENIFIT NOT ONLY U BUT BOTH OF U OR FOR THE WHOLE FAMILY.

GOODLUCK!

kyuting13, super idea, this oldman like it, advise this way to youngs, it is pretty constractive.

may Allah bless you.

wife needs to be a support to husband, a friend. If she doesn't understand that you do not have printing machine for money, but actually work for it, then there is a problem with her. U need to talk. Good wife will always understand husband, but also to reasonble limits.

I am not supporting your decision, because you are the first person responsible for such an issue. Why don't you control her from the starting itself? When yr income became less you are controlling. First of all talk to her and find out where is the overexpenses are coming and control. If your both hands are clapping then only the sound is coming!!! Wife means half of your body and soul. When u start to look another one, u will get worse than this!! If it happened then what you will do. Nothing can be imposible when both of you consult each other and reach an amicable solution. First u think is this right and act accordingly. WISH U ALL THE BEST

My suggestion is to re-assess how much you need to send to your family. For a certain time you may opt to keep it at a minimum. While the rest you save it with you. Do not rely on others to save for you especially in this case that you know your wife has problems saving. So take the initiative to do it yourself. No need to look for another person to save for you. Once you can do it then you have more right to tell your wife about these things.

lol andrews..

take 'momoftheyear's advice !!

being a reasonable strickt is good idea but take care dont hate her,just love her and keep trying in good faith.my exprience says that you are on right track.we come from lower life standerd and all of sudden we start earnig more,our family lift up living and we can not track it for ever.we have to save somthing.

you should make her understand but in a better way. Not by not replying her.

If you are going to find another WIFE for such a simple reason then you won't be having any other job than finding a WIFE in future..

Try to convince her with love and in a polite way.

GOOD LUCK!!!

tama lang na delay mo yong pagpapadala mo. that was also happened to us e.Mahirap yan. Hindi nila alam kung ano o kung pano kayo kumayod jan para lang makapagpadala sa kanila dito sa pilipinas tapos wawaldasin lang ng ganun ang pinaghirapan mo. Isa pa hindi maganda ung sinabi niya na humanap ka ng asawang marunong humawak ng pera. kausapin mo siya.

Appoint a qaualified professional who can handle Cash Flow, Fund Flow and MIS

Once a wise man said , a crazy man who deals with his wife as if she is not crazy (hope you get my point)

my advice is: concentrate on what you do ,send her only what you believe is enough untill you get back home and get everything setteled

because it does not make any sense staying in qatar for 2 years working and then giving the money to an irresposible wife

take care man and dont let yourself be cheated

go ahead .....find a better one