American, Russian and Indian :-D

Why do bald-headed men never use keys?

Because they've lost their locks.

WIFE: "There's trouble with the car. It has water in the carburetor."

HUSBAND: "Water in the carburetor? That's ridiculous."

WIFE: "I tell you the car has water in the carburetor."

HUSBAND: "You don't even know what a carburetor is. I'll check it out.

Where's the car?"

WIFE: "In the pool."

lool pappu now give khanan a break :l

Great news.

Pappu's wife has just had a baby boy and they named him after his father?

He's calling him "dad"

Khanan decided to make a cold drink and later on was thinking over the name for the cold drink

"KOCHA COLA WITH NASWAR FLAVOUR"

Laka Lash Pash Products Pvt. Ltd.

Two elderly friends, Britey and Rizks from a retirement centre were sitting on a bench under a tree when Britey turns to Rizks and says: 'Rizks, I'm 70 years old now and I'm just full of aches and pains. I know you're about my age. How do you feel?'

Rizks says, 'I feel just like a newborn baby.'

'Really!? Like a newborn baby!?'

'Yep. No hair, no teeth, and I think I just wet my pants.

Brite in his 40's bought a new BMW and was out on the interstate for a nice evening drive. The top was down, the breeze was blowing through what was left of his hair and he decided to open her up. As the needle jumped up to 80 mph, he suddenly saw flashing red and blue lights behind him. "There's no way they can catch a BMW," he thought to himself and opened her up further. The needle hit 90, 100.... Then the reality of the situation hit him. "What the hell am I doing?" he thought and pulled over. The cop came up to him, took his license without a word and examined it and the car.

"It's been a long day, this is the end of my shift and it's Friday the 13th. I don't feel like more paperwork, so if you can give me an excuse for your driving that I haven't heard before, you can go." Brite thinks for a second and says, "Last week my wife ran off with a cop. I was afraid you were trying to give her back." "Have a nice weekend," said the officer.

britexpat goes to a Wizard to ask him if he can remove

a "Curse" he has been living with for the last 30 years.

The Wizard says "maybe, but you will have to tell me the

exact words that were used to put the curse on you."

britexpat says without hesitation

"I now pronounce you man and wife".

BG walks into a bar with his pet monkey. He orders a drink and while he's drinking, the monkey jumps all around the place. The monkey grabs some olives off the bar and eats them. Then grabs some sliced limes and eats them. Then jumps onto the pool table, grabs one of the billiard balls, sticks it in his mouth, and to everyone's amazement, somehow swallows it whole.

The bartender screams at the BG "Did you see what your monkey just did?"

BG says "No, what?" "He just ate the cue ball off my pool table-whole!"

"Yeah, that doesn't surprise me," replies BG. "He eats everything in sight, the little bastard. Sorry. I'll pay for the cue ball and stuff." He finishes his drink, pays his bill, pays for the stuff the monkey ate, then leaves.

Two weeks later he's in the bar again, and has his monkey with him. He orders a drink and the monkey starts running around the bar again. While BG is finishing his drink, the monkey finds a maraschino cherry on the bar. He grabs it, sticks it up his butt, pulls it out, and eats it. The bartender is disgusted.

"Did you see what your monkey did now?" he asks.

"No, what?" replies BG. "Well, he stuck a maraschino cherry up his butt, pulled it out, and ate it!" said the bartender.

"Yeah, that doesn't surprise me," replies BG. " He still eats everything in sight, but ever since he swallowed that cue ball, he measures everything first..."

lool :PPP

ROFl ....

Dracula is driving down to Kerala for the Eid vacations, when he spots his friend Ksarat standing in the middle of a huge field of grass. He pulls the car over to the side of the road and notices that Ksarat is just standing there, doing nothing, looking at nothing.

Dracula gets out of the car, walks all the way out to Ksarat and asks him, "Hey buddy, what are you doing?"

Ksarat replies, "I'm trying to win a Nobel Prize."

"How?" asks Dracula, puzzled.

"Well I heard they give the Noble Prize to people who are out standing in their field."

LoL..ksarat the lost & found!

welcome back ol' buddy :)

Ksarat and his two friends R7 and Baburao are talking at a bar.

R7 says: "I think my wife is having an affair with the electrician. Last week I came home and found wire cutters under our bed and they weren't mine."

Baburao says: "I think my wife is having an affair with the plumber. This week I found a wrench under the bed and it wasn't mine."

Ksarat says: "I think my wife is having an affair with a horse." Both R7 and Baburao look at him with utter disbelief. "No I'm serious. Yesterday I came home and found a jockey under our bed."

Quite a nice bunch of bubbly young people... well not so young for the few I remember :D

gotcha!

http://newslite.tv/2010/10/22/survey-reveals-top-50-funniest.html

Colt to pappu : I'm on a whiskey diet. I've lost three days already.

britexpat rang up BT and said: "I want to report a nuisance caller.

" The operator said: "Not you again."

Tinkerbell has twins, and gives them up for adoption. One goes to a family in Egypt and is named "Amal". The other goes to a family in Spain, who name him "Juan". Years later Juan sends a picture of himself to his mother. Upon receiving the picture, she tells her husband that she wished she also had a picture of Amal. Her husband responds: "They're twins. If you've seen Juan, you've seen Amal.

Tinker was in Atlantic City losing at the roulette wheel.

When she was down to her last 10 dollars, she asked the fellow next to her for a good number. “Why don’t you play your age?” he suggested. The woman agreed, and then put her money on the table.

The next thing the guy with the advice knew, Tinker had fainted and fallen to the floor. He rushed right over.

“Did she win?” he asked. “No” replied the attendant. “She put 10 dollars on 33 and 46 came in.”

As Rizks and I were coming out of the airport, we met a man carrying an eight-foot-long metal stick.

Knowing that the olympics had just finished, Rizks asked: "Excuse me, are you a pole vaulter?”

“No,” said the man, “I’m German. But how did you know my name is Walter?"

Britey goes to FS' house for the first time, and she shows him into the living room. She excuses herself to go to the kitchen to make them some karak chai, and as he's standing there alone, he notices a cute little vase on the mantel.

He picks it up, and as he's looking at it, FS walks back in. Britey says "What's this?"

She says, "Oh, my husbands ashes are in there."

Britey goes, "Jeez...oooh....I..." when FS says, "Yeah, he's too lazy to go to the kitchen to get an ashtray."

BM..loool

Colt..you are j you bad boy!! lol

lool

A Galapagos penguin walks into a bar, goes to the counter, and asks Rizks, the barkeep, "Have you seen my brother?"

Rizks replied, "I don't know, what does he look like?"

Colt walks into a bar with an ostrich and a cat and sits at the bar. The bartender walks over to them and says, "What can I get for you?"

Colt says "I'll have a beer", the ostrich says, "I'll have a beer", and the cat says, "I'll have half a beer and I'm not buying." So the bartender says, "OK, that will be $3.87."

Colt reaches into his pocket and brings out the exact change and pays him. About an hour later the bartender goes back over to them and says, "What'll you guys have?"

Colt says, "I'll have a beer", the ostrich says, "I'll have a beer", and the cat says "I'll have half a beer and I'm not buying." The bartender gets them their beer and says "That'll be $3.87."

Colt reaches into his pocket and brings out the exact change and pays him. A couple of days later they come back into the bar and the bartender walks over and asks "What do you guys want today?"

Colt says, "I'll have a scotch", the ostrich says, "I'll have a bourbon", and the cat says, "I'll have half a beer and I'm not buying." So the bartender says "OK, that will be $7.53."

Colt reaches into his pocket and brings out the exact change and pays him.

The bartender's curiosity got the best of him and he asks, "Why is it that every time I tell you the amount you owe you always have the exact change in you pocket?"

Colt says, "I found a bottle with a genie in it and she granted me 3 wishes. My first wish was that I always have the exact change in my pocket for anything I buy."

The bartender says, "That's a great wish...better than asking for a million dollars. A million dollars will run out but that never will. What were your other 2 wishes?"

Colt says, "That's where I screwed up. I asked for a chick with long legs and a tight pussy."

Sorry , i missed some comments. I was just with Rizks.

He was sitting at the karak Chai emporium looking worried. I asked him what was wrong ?

Rizks said; "I just read that 1 in 5 people in the world are Chinese. And there are 5 people in my family, so it must be one of them. It's either my mum or my dad. Or my older brother Pappu. Or my younger brother Ho-Chan-Chu. But I think it's Pappu."

FS was sitting at a bar enjoying an after-work cocktail with her girlfriends when Khanan, the exceptionally tall, handsome, extremely sexy young man entered. He was so striking that FS could not take her eyes away from him.

Khanan noticed her overly attentive stare & walked directly toward her. Before she could offer her apologies for being so rude for staring, Khanan said to her, 'I'll do anything, absolutely anything, that you want me to do, no matter how kinky, for QAR 200, on one condition.' Flabbergasted, FS asked what the condition was.

The young man replied, 'You have to tell me what you want me to do in just three words.'

The woman considered his proposition for a moment, withdrew from her purse and slowly counted out two QAR 100 bills, which she pressed into Khanan's hand along with her address. She looked deeply into his eyes & slowly, meaningfully said, "Clean my house."

Britey asked his wife, "What would you most like for your birthday?"

Mrs.Expat said, "I'd love to be ten again."

On the morning of her birthday, britey got her up bright and early and they went to a theme park. He put her on every ride in the park - the Death Slide, The Screaming Loop, the Wall of Fear. She had a go on every ride there was.

She staggered out of the theme park five hours later, her head reeling and her stomach turning.

Then off to a movie theater, popcorn, karak chai, vindaloo and sweets.

At last she staggered home with britey and collapsed into bed.

Britey leaned over and asked, "Well, dear, what was it like being ten again?"

One eye opened and she groaned, "Actually, honey, I meant dress size!" :(

Britexpat, now in his middle ages, had been considering coloring his hair. One day, while flipping through a fashion magazine, he saw an ad for a hair-coloring dye featuring a hunky young model who was sporting a great hairstyle with a shade that Britey liked.

To get a second opinion, he asked Mrs. Britexpat, "How do you think this shade would look on a face with a few wrinkles?"

Mrs. Britexpat took the magazine from him, crumpled the page with the ad, straightened it out and observed it again.

"Just great, darling."

While enjoying an early morning karak chai and idli at Rizks Emporium, Pappu, Baburao, Ingi and Rizks were discussing everything from cattle, horses, and weather, to how things used to be back home in the "good old days."

Eventually the conversation moved on to their spouses. Pappu turned to Rizks on his right and asked, "Oye Rizks, aren't you and your bride celebrating your tenth wedding anniversary soon?"

"Yup, we sure are," Rizks replied.

"Well, are you gonna do anything special to celebrate?" Ingi asked.

Rizks pondered this for a moment, then replied,

"For our fifth anniversary, I took Bella to the back waters in Kerala.

Maybe for our tenth, I'll go down there and get her."

Ms. FS, the Arts teacher, addressed the class with a statue of Venus in her hands.

"What do you like best about this piece of art? Raise your hands."

Khanan raised his hand and said, "The symmetry."

"Very good. And you, Colt?"

"Her t*ts!" says Colt

"Get out of the class, Colt and stand in the hall," responds Ms. FS with loathing. "And you, Rizks?"

"I'm leaving, ma'am, I'm leaving..."

hahahahahahaha..:)

hihihihihi britey ! :)

Formatted Soul is pet crazy and has a cute cat called Minton.

The other day, it swallowed a shuttlecock and Formatted Soul was so angry that she said "Bad Minton!"

Bubbly, Tinker and FS are sitting in a diner, chatting about various things.

Bubbly says, "You know, I'm getting really forgetful. This morning, I was standing at the top of the stairs, and I couldn't remember whether I had just come up or was about to go down."

Tinker says, "You think that's bad? The other day, I was

sitting on the edge of my bed and I couldn't remember whether I was going to sleep or had just woken up!"

FS smiles smugly, "Well, my memory is just as good as

it's always been, knock on wood," she says as she raps on the table. Then with a startled look on her face, she asks, "Who's there?"

colt moral of the story is balance ....lols

) In a Tokyo Hotel: Is forbidden to steal hotel towels please. If you are not a person to do such a thing is please not to read notis.

2) In a Bucharest hotel lobby: The lift is being fixed for the next day. During that time we regret that you will be unbearable.

3) In a Leipzig elevator: Do not enter lift backwards, and only when lit up.

4) In a Belgrade hotel elevator: To move the cabin, push button for wishing floor. If the cabin should enter more persons, each one should press a number of wishing floor. Driving is then going alphabetically by national order.

5) In a Paris hotel elevator: Please leave your values at the front desk.

6) In the lobby of a Moscow hotel across from Russian Orthodox monastery: You are welcome to visit the cemetery where famous Russian and Soviet composers, artists, and writers are buried daily except Thursday.

7) Outside a Hong Kong tailor shop: Ladies may have a fit upstairs.

8) In a Copenhagen airline ticket office: We take your bags and send them in all directions.

9) From a Japanese information booklet about using a hotel air conditioner: Cooles and Heates: If you want just condition of warm in your room, please control yourself.

10) From a brochure of a car rental firm in Tokyo: When passenger of foot heave in sight, tootle the horn. Trumpet him melodiously at first, but if he still obstacles your passage then tootle him with vigor.

Pappu, Baburao and Dawood are stranded on a desert island. They find a genie's lamp and agree they'll each get one wish.

Pappu and Baburao both wish they were at home and poof! at home they were.

Dawood then says, "Gee, I'm kinda lonely ... I wish my friends Pappu and Baburao were here ..."

LMAO FS! :))

Yup :)

English teacher says to BG: make a sentence using Neither-Nor?

Naughty boy BG: When girls wear tight fitting dresses,

.

.

neither they are comfortable nor we.

Colt called to make reservations; "I want to go from Doha to Hippopotamus, New York."

The agent was at a loss for words. Finally, the agent said, "Are you sure that's the name of the town?"

"Yes, what flights do you have?" replied the customer.

After some searching, the agent came back with, "I'm sorry, sir, I've looked up every airport code in the country and can't find a Hippopotamus anywhere."

Colt retorted, "Oh don't be silly. Everyone knows where it is. Check your map!"

The agent scoured a map of the state of New York and finally offered, "You don't mean Buffalo, do you?"

"That's it! I knew it was a big animal!"

They are all jealous of the female attention Khanan is getting..they want to ruin it by these 'back' stories..lol

hahahaha LOL

Once a genies (Jin) entered into khanan

after 3 days the genies went to a scholar (Aalim) and requested him to remove his soul from khanan body or else he will get suffocated and die from the smell of naswar

Conspiracy it is! :P

this all conspiracy against me:) They are all jealous :0)

"back" stories never miss your name. :P

colty:)

Damn this story is fabricated. I have some taste and class ;)

PP ROFL LMOA..........................ha ha ha ha ha ha ha...........

Pappu was talking to Colt and told him that he'd landed a job in a bowling alley.

Colt: "Tenpin?"

Papp: "No, it's a permanent job."

Colt was sitting in the neighborhood bar getting drunk. Brite came in and asked Colt, "Hey, why are you sitting here on this beautiful day, getting drunk?" Colt shook his head and replied, "Some things you just can't explain."

"So what happened that's so horrible?" Brite asked as he sat down next to Colt.

"Well," Colt said, "today I was sitting by my cow, milking her. Just as I got the bucket full, she lifted her left leg and kicked over the bucket."

"Okay," said Brite, "but that's not so bad." "Some things you just can't explain," Colt replied.

"So what happened then?" Brite asked. Colt said, "I took her left leg and tied it to the post on the left."

"And then?"

"Well, I sat back down and continued to milk her. Just as I got the bucket full, she took her right leg and kicked over the bucket."

Brite laughed and said, "Again?" Colt replied, "Some things you just can't explain." "So, what did you do then?" Brite asked.

"I took her right leg this time and tied it to the post on the right."

"And then?"

"Well, I sat back down and began milking her again. Just as I got the bucket full, the stupid cow knocked over the bucket with her tail."

"Hmmm," Brite said and nodded his head. "Some things you just can't explain," Colt said.

"So, what did you do?" Brite asked.

"Well," Colt said, "I didn't have anymore rope, so I took off my belt and tied her tail to the rafter. In that moment, my pants fell down and my wife walked in ... Some things you just can't explain."

Since Xena couldn't get admission into Fitness First, she told me she started on a strict running program yesterday and has only missed one day so far.

khanan atleast during Ramadan u shld hold ur emotions ;)

Xena phoned Fitness First and asked if they could teach her how to do the splits.

The man said, "How flexible are you?"

Xena said, "I can't make Tuesdays."

LMFAO @ Colty.. after all Khanan was suppose to do that.. since he is Pathan :P

Britexpat is enjoying chatting with a delightful, attractive young lady named Snessy...

Brit: '...and how old do you think I am?'

Snessy: 'Your 85.'

Brit: 'How do you know that?'

Snessy: 'You told me yesterday.'

The hot new drink around the Doha city it's a Colt 45 and a shot that goes right to your head...:P

Speaking of birthdays, Dracula was being interviewed by reporters on the occasion of his 100th birthday.

"What do you think is the reason for your long life?" they asked him.

"Oh," he replied, "I suppose it's because I was born such a long time ago.

Colt, being a romantic soul , asked Bubblymom , what she wanted for her birthday.

Bubblymom said with a coy smile "something with diamonds in it"

So, he bought her a pack of cards :O(

once colt felt pain in his bump so he goes to Dr. BG and explains the same. so BG asks him to undress and lie upside down on the bed inorder to examine.

BG inserts his finger and ask is the pain here, colt says NO

BG inserts his palm and ask is the pain here, colt says NO

BG goes more deep is the pain here, colt says NO

Bg goes more deep till the elbow and ask is the pain here to which Colt says YES

to which Dr. BG replies you have Tonsillitis

ROFL......ahahahahahahahahahahahaha

ROFLMAO! :-P

The other day Rizks with a bad stomach ache goes to his local doctor Khanan and asks him what he can do. Dr. Khanan replies that the illness is quite serious but can be cured with a small course of two suppositories inserted deep into the rectum.

Rizks agrees and Dr. Khanan tells him to bend over, and shoves the thing way up his behind. Dr. Khanan then hands him the second dose and tells him to do the same thing in six hours time using rubber gloves and KY-Jelly or something.

So, Rizks goes home and later that evening tries to get the second suppository inserted, but he finds he cannot reach himself properly to obtain the required depth. Thus, he calls his buddy Britey over and tells him what to do. Britey being the good friend that he always is, nods, puts one hand on his shoulder to steady him and with the other shoves the medicine home.

Suddenly Rizks screams in disgust.

“What’s the matter buddy?” asked Britey. “Did I hurt you?”

“No,” replies Rizks, “but I just realized that when Dr. Khanan did that, he had BOTH hands on my shoulders.”

but this thread is not linked to your tummy.....lols

This thread gives me tummy pain! LMAO! :D

we can suggest the terrorist to remove the lungi and den to splash petrol and fire him.....lols

Two fags were walking down the street and passed TheDarkKnightRises the handsome guy on the block. One fag turned to the other and said, "See that stud there, he's TheDarkKnightRises?"

"Sure, yeah I've seen him around."

"Well, let me tell you, he's a tremendous lay!"

"No shyt?" one fag asked.

"Well, hardly any." replied the other.

no no betrol blease

Ok, I will donate Water! It's almost same price... ;)

..need more!

Risks' lungi are fireproof!

total 35 ltrs i dnt think this much will be required so the left over i will take for vehical utilization ....lols

OMG what a thread.

Baburao was accused of harrasing young ladies in CC mall and was placed in a lineup with ten other fellows.

Snessy , the accusing woman was escorted into the room.

Baburao jumped forward, and screamed "That's her! That's her! I would recognise her anywhere!"

20 litres from my side as well and free drinks at the spot of action

DK before u leaving qatar your contribution will be much appreciated....:P

10 liters from my side

sorry dracula i cant afford .....lols

but yes matchstick from my side :)

Colt45 was shopping at the local supermarket where he picked up a half-liter bottle of milk, a carton of eggs, a bottle of orange juice, a head of lettuce, a 250 gms can of coffee and 1 KG chicken.

As he was unloading the items on the conveyor belt to check out, the cashier said "You must be single."

Colt was a bit startled by this proclamation, but he was intrigued by the cashier's intuition, since he indeed had never found Mrs. Right.

He looked at the six items on the belt and saw nothing particularly unusual about his selections that could have tipped off the cashier to his marital status.

Curiosity getting the better of him, he said, "Yes, you are correct. But how on Earth did you know that?"

The cashier replied, "Cause you're ugly."

Terrorists have kidnapped our dear Risks... and demanded a ransom of 500000 QR or else they will burn him with petrol...

Please donate!!!!!

.

.

.

I have donated 5 liters.

Hahaha! I miss you guys...

LMAO :):)

coltey dnt bring my dog into these kind of discussion ....lols

ROFL Coltey...hahahaha....

last week I saw Tinker looking at the men's toiletries in Carrefour. A clerk comes up to help her and asks if she needs assistance.

"I'm looking for some deodorant for my new boyfriend Rizks, but I don't know what type he uses."

The clerk says, "Is it the ball type?"

"No," says Tinker, it's for his underarms."

"but you'd be amazed how strong you get when you bite your own balls!"

hiihihihihihiihihihihi...I think I peed on my pants...

I almost fell off my chair LMFAO :-)) hahaha!!!

Draccy, coz Coltey flicked my wallet frm the back pocket of my lungi when i was doing samba dance....:(

Don't talk about dogs, Pappu thought his dog was a great mathematician?

When he asked the dog what six minus six was, the dog said nothing.

Rizks and Dracula weer in the final of the wrestling. Formatted Soul was the referee..

I warned Rizks that Dracula's speciality was "the pretzel hold" , from which no-one could recover.

Rizks and dracula circled each other and suddenly Dracula lunged at Rizks , grabbed his lungi and wrapped him up in the dreaded pretzel hold!

The crowd went silent. Formatted Soul held her breath and I covered my eyes. It was nearly over.

Suddenly there was a scream, a cheer from the crowd, and Dracula flew up into the air, hit the mat with a thud, and Rizks weakly collapsed on top of him, getting the pin and winning the match.

We were astounded. I went to rizks and said "How did you ever get out of that hold? No one has ever done it before!"

Rizks said, "Well, I was ready to give up when he got me in that hold, but at the last moment, I opened my eyes and saw this pair of balls right in front of my face. I thought I had nothing to lose, so with my last ounce of strength I stretched out my neck and bit those babies just as hard as I could.

"So!" I said , "that finished him off did it?"

"No" said Rizks, "but you'd be amazed how strong you get when you bite your own balls!"

you papodum head, this happened while you were in India :-(

Riskey, you blind chihuahua why are hiddin' the money in your shoe? hahahahahahaa

Coltey u porota maker, u forgot to edit the "rupees" to "riyals"...atleast copypaste correctly you langoor....:)

hahahahahaha.....:)

Talking about sport, reminds me of a night Rizks was walking home when, all of a sudden, a thief jumped on him. Rizks and the thief began to wrestle. They rolled about on the ground, and Rizks put up a tremendous fight.

However, the thief managed to get the better of him and pinned him to the ground. The thief then went through Rizks' pockets and searched him. All the thief could find on Rizks was 10 rupees.

The thief was so surprised at this that he asked Rizks why he had bothered to fight so hard for a measly 10 rupees.

"What that's all you wanted? I thought you were after the 5000 rupees I've got in my shoe!" Rizks replied.

ROLF britey ! hahahaa

Sad news from the London 2012 Olympics. Bubblymom had to withdraw from the Water Polo event. Apparently, her horse drowned :O(

rofl, colt :)

Bubbly is referring to you... :-)

thanks to the good "OLD" folks!

Rizks went to see Xena about getting a new pet dog.

Xena: "why don't you adopt this nice labrador"

Rizks: “Are you kidding? Do you know how many of their owners go blind?"

After their fight, Dracula asked Britey how it is that he never married?

Replied Britey, "Well, I guess I just never met the right woman ... I guess I've been looking for the perfect girl."

"Oh, come on now," said Dracula, "Surely you have met at least one girl that you wanted to marry."

"Yes, there was one girl .. once, my Cuban Shot putter, I guess she was the one perfect girl.

The only perfect girl I really ever met. She was just the right everything .. I really mean that she was the perfect girl for me."

"Well, why didn't you marry her," asked Dracula.

"She was looking for the perfect man," replied Britey

...buggers! :)

i wish you wouldn't bring up this topic..

last night , I had a fight with Dracula over Snessy and he punched me unconscious to the floor.

I was completely out for the Count. :o(

Britey: Dr. Rizks, I think that I've been bitten by a Dracula the Vampire.

Dr. Rizks: Drink this glass of water.

Britey: Will it make me better?

Dr. Rizks: No, I but I'll be able to see if your neck leaks.

AReminds me of the time Count Dracula hired Colt to work at his call centre.

One day the phone rang and when Colt answered he hung up immediately.

"Who was that?" asked Dracula

"Some fool saying it was a long distance from New York. I told him everybody knew that."

Dracula and Rizks were sitting together watching the 2012 London Olympics 200m mens final over a cup of Karak Chai and Bhel Puri.

Rizks: Why are all those people running?

Dracula: They are running the 200m finals to get the gold.

Rizks: Who will get the gold?

Dracula: The person who wins.

Rizks: Then why are all the others running?

"Wrong number"..hahahhahaha Snessy's style indeed..:)

Snessy had been talking on the phone for about half an hour, and then she hung up.

"Wow!," said Mr. Snessy, "That was short. You usually talk for two hours. What happened?"

"Wrong number," replied Snessy.

:)

I left by 10pm.

I was LUCKY tat i was stuck in the escalator with Tinker and Snessy...ohh we were sweating heavily...:)

What time did you leave the CC ?

When i got home, i heard that there was a power outage at the mall and Tinkerbell and Snessy were stuck on the escalators for over four hours till they fixed the problem :O(

Lols...so i didnt find a dog and took britey with me in the escalator...:(

ROFL...

By the way i met Rizks at the CC yesterday. He was standing by the escalator looking glum.

I asked him what was wrong?

He said that the notice says "DOGS MUST BE CARRIED ON THE ESCALATOR", "And where am I going to find a dog at this hour of the night?"

dangerous.mind, the new Filipina kindergarten teacher was teaching her class how to do the hokey-pokey.

She started off by saying, "You put your right feet in, you put your right feet out, you put your right feet in...."

Suddenly one of the children said, "Teacher you have to say 'foot.'"

So the teacher said, "Ahh, sige, sige, you 'foot' your right feet in, you 'foot' your right feet out....."

Snessy went into a pub and says, "Drink of orange please landlord."

The landlord asks, "Still orange?"

Snessy replies, "Yes, I haven't changed my mind."

inge anytime .........lols

dangerous.mind??????

Today I spent really good time in my office, while reading posts of Brit, Colt and PP, hope you guys always spread smiles like this..

Where is BG btw? ;)

Hahahaha! Much needed laughs - thanks peeps :-)

Colt45 is invited for a meal by Tinkerbell. However, when he gets there , she says "I'm very sorry Colt, but the cat's eaten your dinner'.

He said "Don't worry - I'll get you a new cat"

Colty the baldy, Playing with my emotions since I am Asian? :"(

While filling out the part of a job application form that asked "Race." DaruDe responded, "Only on the Shamal Road, while going to the Farm."

hahahahahahahahaha nice one

Shaktimaan stormed into Baburao’s office, yelling, "Did you tell Pappu I was an arsehole?!" Stunned, Baburao sputtered, "No! I don’t know how he found out." :-(

LOOOOL!

Brite with a old man are raking leaves in the yard. Brite sees an earthworm trying to get back into its hole. He says, "Old man, I bet I can put that worm back in that hole." Old man replies, "I'll bet you five dollars you can't. It's too wiggly and limp to put back in that little hole."

Brite runs into the house and comes back out with a can of hair spray. He sprays the worm until it is straight and stiff as a board. Brite then proceeds to put the worm back into the hole. The old man hands the little boy five dollars, grabs the hair spray and runs into the house.

Thirty minutes later the old man comes back out and hands Brite another five dollars. Brite says, "Old man, you already gave me five dollars." The old man replies, "I know. That's from my old woman."

Good brother...Keep it up...Lol. How do you guys create these jokes.. excellent...Mind blowing.

TinkerBell (picking up box of baking soda): I didn’t know soda was baked.

Formatted Soul: Thank God it’s not fried! Do you know how many extra calories that would be?!

Rizks was driving down a rural dirt road when he came upon a stream. He called out to a man named Shaktimaan walking by, "Do you think I can drive my car through the stream?"

"I suppose you can," said Shaktimaan.

So Rizks started across, but within seconds, his car sank, and he barely escaped with his life.

"You lied to me!" Rizks screamed at Shaktimaan. "That stream is at least ten feet deep!"

"That’s funny exclaimed Shaktimaan. It only reaches up to the middle of the ducks."

Lol...More please :-))...this really makes my day.

Victory and Britey go camping and are walking through the forest when they suddenly encounter a grizzly bear! The bear rears up on his hind legs and lets out a terrifying roar.

They're both frozen in their tracks. Victory whispers, "I'm sure glad I wore my running shoes today."

"It doesn't matter what kind of shoes you're wearing, you're not gonna outrun that bear," replies Britey.

"I don't have to outrun the bear, I just have to outrun YOU," Victory answers.

You have to believe and have hopes on ANNA and Ramdev!

So pessimist Coltey ;D

Doctor Rizks was explaining to Colt how nature makes up for a person's deficiencies.

"For example," he told Colt, "if a man is deaf, he may have very good eyesight, and if a man is blind, he may have a very good sense of smell."

"I think I see what you mean," said Colt. "I have often noticed that if a man has one short leg, then the other one is always a little bit longer."

Bad boy. Lol. :-)))

A woman posts an ad in the news paper that looks like this...

'Looking for man with these qualifications; won't beat me up; or run away from me and is great in bed.'

She got lots of phone calls replying to her ad but met Shaktimaan who was perfect at her door one day. Shaktimaan said, "Hi, I'm Shaktimaan. I have no arms so I won't beat you up and no legs so I won't run away."

So the lady says, "What makes you think you are great in bed?"

Shaktimaan replies, "I rang the door bell didn't I?"

Lol. :-))))))

Lol. :-))

A teacher was wrapping up class, and started talking about tomorrow's final exam. He said there would be no excuses for not showing up tomorrow, barring a dire medical condition or an immediate family member's death. Brite smart ass, said, "What about extreme sexual exhaustion?", and the whole classroom burst into laughter.

After the laughter had subsided, the teacher glared at the brite, and said, "Not an excuse, you can use your other hand to write."

Please continue guys.. i love this page. God bless you all

Colty :):):)

ROFL hahahahahahaha

Pappu, Baburao and Ingeniero were driving along in their pickup when they saw a sheep caught in the fence with its hind end up in the air.

Pappu said, "I wish that was Sharon Stone."

Baburao echoed, "I wish it was Demi Moore."

Ingeniero sighed, "I wish it was dark . . . "

no this year i will take brite along with me ......lols

Pappu_Pager and Colt were talking about the summer holidays.

Pappu_Pager: "I reckon I'm going do it a little different this year. The last few years, I took your advice about where to go. Three years ago you said to go to Paris ... I went to Paris and my beloved Girlfriend got pregnant.

Then two years ago, you told me to go to the Delhi and she got pregnant again.

Last year you suggested London and darn me, if she didn't get pregnant again."

Colt says, "So, what you gonna do this year that's different?"

Pappu says, "This year I'm taking her with me."

hahahahahahahahaha....lols

Reaching the end of a job interview, the Human Resources Person asked ingeniero fresh out of MIT, "And what starting salary were you looking for?"

Ingeniero said, "In the neighborhood of QAR 50,000 a month, depending on the benefits package."

The HR Person said, "Well, what would you say to a package of 5-weeks annual vacation, 14 sick days, full medical and dental, company matching retirement fund to 50% of salary, and a company car leased every 2 years - say, a silver BMW 750i?"

Ingeniero sat up straight and said, "Wow!!! Are you kidding?"

And the HR Person said, "Certainly,... but you started it."

after a long time Brit, Colt in their old mood, Love it..

lols pappu ha ha ha ha ha ha ha................:)

A kindergarten teacher one day is trying to explain to her class the definition of the word "definitely" to them. To make sure the students have a good understanding of the word, she asks them to use it in a sentence. BG raised his hand and said "The sky is definitely blue". The teacher said, "Well, that isn't entirely correct, because sometimes it's gray and cloudy".

DK says, "Grass is definitely green." The teacher again replies "If grass doesn't get enough water it turns brown, so that isn't really correct either."

Colt raises his hand and asks the teacher "Do farts have lumps?" The teacher looked at him and said "No...But that isn't really a question you want to ask in class discussion." So Colt replies, "Then I definitely shyte my pants."

ROFLMFAO... :-))

Colt working on the 5th floor of a building needed a handsaw. So he spots BG on the ground floor and yells down to him, but he can't hear him. So colt on the 5th floor tries sign language.

He pointed to his eye meaning "I", pointed to his knee meaning "need", then moved his hand back and forth in a hand saw motion. BG on the ground floor nods his head, pulls down his pants, whips out his chop and starts masturbating.

Colt on 5th floor gets so pissed off he runs down to the ground floor and says, "WTF is your problem!!! I said I needed a hand saw!".

BG says, "I knew that! I was just trying to tell you - I'm coming!"

Mr.Britexpat bought a car by bank loan.

But he did not pay loan amount. So they took the car from him.

After seeing that Mr. Britexpat is thinking, “If I knew before, than I would have taken a loan for my marriage also.

lol..."2 saxophones"..hahahahaha

______________________________

looooooooooools......:D

Rizks was one of the first QL celebrities to comment on the death of the King of Jordan. Rizks told CNN "I'm inconsolable at the present time, I was a very good friend of Jordan, he was probably the greatest basketball player the world has ever seen, we will never see his like again".

When told by reporters that it was King Hussein of Jordan who had died and not Michael Jordan, Rizks was then led away by his security in a state of "confusion".

LOL :-D

LMAO guys keep it up

As soon as Dracula graduates from Police Academy, he stops Tinkerbell and asks for her license. He says "Lady, it says here that you should be wearing glasses."

Tinkerbell answered "Well, I have contacts."

Dracula replied "I don't care who you know! You're getting a ticket!"

Colt45 is at Doha airport with two sacks over each shoulder when all of a sudden he gets stopped by Customs and they search each sack. They find lots of mobile phones in them.

They ask Colt "Why do you have so many phones"

Colt says "well I was on vacation when got a call from my dear friend Dracula who said that he was starting up a Jazz band and could I bring back 2 saxophones "

blimey..hahahahhaa

looooooooooooooools ROFL ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha.........

hahahahahahaha.....:D

One lazy Sunday morning Bella and Rizks were quiet and thoughtful, sitting around the breakfast table having their idli and dosa, with karak chai, when Rizks said to Bella unexpectedly, "When I die, I want you to sell all my stuff, immediately."

"Now why would you want me to do something like that?" Bella asked.

"I figure a woman as fine as yourself would eventually remarry and I don't want some other a-hole using my stuff."

Bella looked at Rizks intently and said: "Rizks, what makes you think I'd marry another a-hole?"

LOLLL

ROFL hahahahahahahahaha

loooooooools colt ha ha ha ha ha ha ha

loooooooools colt.................ha ha ha ha :)

roflllll

Pappu and baburao were attending a presentation, about halfway through Pappu leans over and says, " I just did a silent fart, what do you think I should do?"

Baburao replies " Put a new battery in your hearing aid."

loooooools colt.....hahahahaha

haha .. you will be as old as me one day :O)

Britey went for his annual physical. He told the doctor that he felt fine, but often had to go to the bathroom during the night. Then he said, "But you know Doc, I'm blessed. God knows my eyesight is going, so he puts on the light when I pee, and turns it off when I'm done!"

A little later in the day, Dr. Rizks called Britey's wife and said, "Your husband's test results were fine, but he said something strange that has been bugging me. He claims that God turns the light on and off for him when uses the bathroom at night."

Britey's wife exclaimed, "That old fool has been peeing in the refrigerator again!"

loooools brite.....rofl

Baburao goes to the vet with his pet goldfish in a bowl and says "I think my goldfish has epilepsy"

The vet looks at the goldfish and says he seems perfectly fine to me.

"Oh no" says Baburao, "you haven't taken him out of the bowl yet"

lols BG.................

brite to ukeng: my wife is an angel

Ukeng to brite: ur lucky mine is still alive ;o)

loooooools brite :D

Colt went to the barber and said : "I want a haircut" please.

Barber: Certainly. Which one?

u r late ....lols

can i join the flirting group too :-P

Colty45, You sure about that/?? :P

A bus stops and two Italian men get on. They seat themselves and engage in animated conversation. The lady sitting behind them ignores their conversation at first, but her attention is galvanized when she hears one of the men saying the following; "Emma come first. Denna I come. Two asses, they come together. I come again. Two asses, they come together again. I come again and pee twice. Denna I come once-a more."

"You fowl-mouthed swine," retorted the lady indignantly. "In this country we don't talk about our sex lives in public!"

Hey, coola down lady," said the man, "Imma justa tellun my friend howa to spella Mississippi."

For many years, the border between Poland and Russia was volatile. Due to a political shift, a farmer found that he was no longer a Russian, but had become a Pole. Thrilled, he told his wife, "Thank God ! No more of those freezing Russian winters."

I'm not bald.... just not yet :-)

then offer him naswar so that he can have silky hair....lols

Dawood khan, it's Coltey, who else...

BG who is bald here ..............?

silky hair with curls .....lols

BG, even in Ramadan bullying?

No need to get bald, cuz Pathans got beautipul silky hairs... :)

Naswar is prohibited to youngster i mean less then 10 years :P

and now no arguments... first naswar then discussion

now what baldnees has to do with naswar

i was just imagining if there was any age classification mentioned on naswar....:P

no age u need to be bald enough

Rizks, What is minimum age for naswar? O_O

inge u r too young to hav naswaar...:)

how about a lollipop ? :)

Talking about Naswar.. and here i am... who is selling?

lols PP......ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha

"shortage of naswar can make us crazy"...ROFL hahaha..

dere is a saying in hindi "kawa chala hans kee chaal chalne apnee chal bhul gaya"....lols

crow tried to copy crane and forget his walk ...hahahaha

BG TFS the article u have paste in yr signature lines

what is this any place called nawswar in doha........?

lol PP hahahaha

nawswar.....hahahahahaha

entertainment, spice, thrill......lolz

what other activities ? ;)

means only naswar is avoided during ramadan and the other activities still cont.....lolz

Nice to see u all Guys .

@Khanan :Don't copy Darude's language :P

@Colt : Senti baba LOL

talking about Pathans....at this time of the day..

shortage of 'Naswar' can make us crazy..Beware

yes zanzibar is gucchus ....lolz

is for the whole year not only during ramadan :D

You're so right on that one :-(

PP why r u talking about gujju here bcos of zanzibar is gucchus

Ramadan Precaution : keep safe distance from pathans highly inflammable :(

Chiknay :)

Good to see you too :)

The other Pathan prend is mad about his firey signature :)

searching for his signature line :-(

look who the wind blew in here... Senti baba :-)

Good Day to you too BM :)

LMAO Colt! "Ladies Session"

Rizks, you and your bald head that cause the evaporation of your brain!

Good day sentibhim! :)

What did the Gujju mean when he said, "Ramesh no dikro States ma gayon" ?

A :- Ramesh's son failed in statistics...

Its nice to see both of them three old man :P:P

What ? Bubbly and Tinker both are pathaans ? :(

It's nice to see you both :-)

So when are we meeting for our regular session of QL gossip? :-)

is my sign

DaRuling :)

and hiya to all !

dere cant be bashing on this post as the thread makes fun of Indians :(

yoho

lol @ colt..

Tinks! I miss you sooooo! need to catch up lady. :)

Asterix: so, you mean its allowed in other 11 months?!!

Asterix welcome back and abt flirting in ramadan - > he does all the Wrong Things in the Right Way...:)

It's a trap! Rizks emporium just got demolished due to haram activities. Be careful!

I'm coming only if Bubbly is coming :-)... I don't wanna be left alone with you :-(

Coltey how about at 7pm sharp at my Emporium ?

I'm doing good. Taking some time to get my eyes away from anxiety (read as work). :P

Did you read that? Stop flirting with me during Ramadan :-(

my fellow brothers and sister corruption is in the whole world.

Why this rec cession. Real estate people millionaires cheat by giving so much offer and cheating banks too much greedy for money.

big people make money exploit the needy.

this is not politicians only every one get things done by bribing regardless any field.

Why you are electing all gundas they also need money.

Election cost is too much.party collects money for election campaign wh we are giving

every money is ours or each individual.

Just think yourself how to solve.how the super markets cheating they display so many items and you are attracted and buy unwanted items

for you, I ALWAYS have time :-P

Flirting is not allowed in Ramadan!

Haalu bubblegum, how u doing ? :)

Colt, i have the money, i have time, and i have a sledge hammer too...:)

of course i always have! and you won't find time. :-(

Like I always said, if you have the money, I have the time ;-))

tell me what the Indian can't do???

Oh! here's one... win a damn Hockey game :-(

Hope to see you one of the coming days buddy. :)

Indians have power to make god cry as well............lols

Maybe not ;-)

Truth can't be hidden.

American & God coming in one sentense isn't a bit strange ?

lol so true :) , let the bashing begin !

i can sense you're not too busy! :P