Golfing with the wife...
Once again, miscommunication between women and men.
A man staggers into an emergency room with two black eyes and a five iron wrapped tightly around his throat.
Naturally the doctor asks him what happened. Well, it was like this, said the man. I was having a quiet round of golf with my wife when she sliced her ball into a pasture of cows.
We went to look for it and while I was rooting around, I noticed one of the cows had something white at its rear end.
I walked over and lifted up the tail and sure enough, there was my wife's golf ball...
stuck right in the middle of the cow's butt. That's when I made my mistake.
"What did you do?", asks the doctor.
Well, I lifted the tail and yelled to my wife,
"Hey, this looks like yours!"
+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
JOHNNY & JENNY
Little Johnny and Jenny are only 10 years old, but they just know that they are in love.
One day they decide that they want to get married, so Johnny goes to Jenny's father to ask him for her hand.
Johnny bravely walks up to him and says "Mr. Smith, me and Jenny are in love and I want to ask you for her hand in marriage."
Thinking that this was the cutest thing, Mr. Smith replies, "Well Johnny, you are only 10. Where will you two live?"
Without even taking a moment to think about it, Johnny replies "In Jenny's room. It's bigger than mine and we can both fit there nicely."
Still thinking this is just adorable, Mr. Smith says with a huge grin, "Okay then how will you live? You're not old enough to get a job. You'll need to support Jenny."
Again, Johnny instantly replies, "Our allowance.. Jenny makes 5 bucks a week and I make 10 bucks a week. That's about 60 bucks a month, and that should do us just fine."
By this time Mr. Smith is a little shocked that Johnny has put so much thought into this. So, he thinks for a moment trying to come up with something that Johnny won't have an answer to.
After a second, Mr. Smith says, "Well Johnny, it seems like you have got everything all figured out. I just have one more question for you. What will you do if the two of you should have little ones of your own?"
Johnny just shrugs his shoulders and says "Well, we've been lucky so far..."
Mr. Smith faints
thanks, still the golf one is the best!!!!!
You have u r answer now!
Taste test
A teacher was doing a study testing the senses (taste)
of
first graders using a bowl of lifesavers.
The children began to say:
Red................. ....Cherry
Yellow..................Lemon
Green...................Lime
Orange.................Orange
Finally the teacher gave them all HONEY lifesavers.
After
eating them, none of the children could identify the
taste.
"Well, she said, I will give you all a clue. It's
what your
mother may sometimes call your father."
One little girl looked up in horror, spit out her
lifesaver and
yelled, "Oh my God - they're a**h***s!"
the golfing one is the best......hahaha... I really want to know the taste test ending...
the ten year old one, am still laughing