JOKES
Two goldfish in a bowl are talking to each other.
Goldfish 1: Do you believe in God?
Goldfish 2: Of course I do! Who do you think changes the water?
Teacher to student: Kid, your essay on “My Dog” is exactly the same as your brother’s. Did you copy from him?
Student: No teacher. It’s about the same dog!
Two friends meet each other on a street. “Hello! Where are you coming from?” asked Bill. “Oh, don’t ask me! I’m coming from a funeral. I just burried my mother-in-law,” replied Sid. “I’m so sorry, but why is your face scratched all over?” asked Bill. “It wasn’t so easy! She put up a hell of a fight,” said Sid.
A father is explaining ethics to his son, who is about to enter into his business: “Suppose a woman comes in and orders $100 worth of material. She pays you with a $100 bill. The moment she leaves you realise she’s given you two $100 bills. Now, here’s where ethic comes in: Should you or should you not tell your partner?”
Charlie: Do you want to hear a dirty joke?
Bobby: Ok
Charlie: A white horse fell in the mud.
Innkeeper: The room is $15 a night. It’s $5, if you make your own bed.
Guest: I’ll make my own bed.
Innkeeper: Good. I’ll get you some nails and wood.
Two mosquitoes were buzzing around when they saw a drunk man.
One said to the other, “You bite him… I’m driving.”
A frog telephones a psychic hotline and is told: You are going to meet a beautiful young girl who will want to know everything about you.
Frog: Will I meet her at a party?
Psychic: No, next semester in her biology class.
The police recently arrested a man who was selling pills that would give you eternal youth. They discovered that it was the fourth time this man was arrested. The earlier arrests were made in 1799, 1852 and 1921.
Jack: I jog every day, it’s good for health.
Mack: I gave up jogging last week.
Jack: Why?
Mack: It’s time to give up when your thighs keep rubbing together and put your pants on fire.
What did one paper towel say to the other paper towel? “These people keep on ripping me off!”
Is these are jokes?!!!
words coming from the beholder.
matet, is that a joke?? haven't u seen the topic before posting ur absurd post?
While reading a book on ancient history, Jenny looked up and asked her father, “Dad, what’s a millennium?” “Well,” he muttered, “I think it’s something like a centennial, only that it has more legs.”
A thief drives off with Posh Spice's brand new Porsche. David Beckham sees it all happen.
“Victoria, Victoria, someone’s stolen your car!”
“Oh my God,” says Posh, “did you get a description of him?”
“I did better than that, my darling,” says David, rather boastfully.
“I got his license number!”
A man and his friend are playing golf at a golf course. One of the guys is about to chip onto the green when he sees a funeral procession on the road next to the course. He stops in mid-swing, takes off his golf cap, closes his eyes, and bows down in prayer. His friend says: Wow, that is the most touching thing I have ever seen. The man replies: Yeah, well we were married for 35 years.
Teacher: Name some products of the West Indies.
Student: I don’t know.
Teacher: Of course you do. Where do you get sugar from?
Student: We borrow it from our neighbour.
hahahahahah good one thanks for sharing..
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सोनम दी नेपाली बाबु
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funnnyyyyyyyyy
Naye dost banane ki aadat hain hume, Apni alag pehchan banane ke aadat hain hume,Chahe koi kitna bhi zakhm de, Phir bhi muskurane ke aadat hain hume
Nice set of jokes. Thanks for sharing all.
thnx mauvecraze..
I like the frog joke. =)
Lolzzzz....Thanks soniya & everyone who shared jokes here. :D
----------------------------------------------------------------Give me some SunShine......Give me some Rain
Give me another Chance...I wanna grow up once Again
On a crowded bus, John noticed a man had his eyes closed. “What’s the matter? Are you sick?” John asked. The man replied, “No, I’m okay. It’s just that I hate to see old ladies standing.”
Enjoy some more :
Patient: Doctor, I think that I've been bitten by a vampire.
Doctor: Drink this glass of water.
Patient: Will this make me better?
Doctor: No, but I'll be able to see if your neck leaks
I went to the doctors. He said 'What appears to be the problem?'.
I said 'I keep having the same dream, night after night, beautiful girls rushing towards me and I keep pushing them away'.
He said 'How can I help?'.
I said 'Break my arms!'
-: Perfectly ImPerfect :-
nice teacher huh....=)
nice teacher huh....=)
Manager: “We need someone responsible for this new job.”
One of the employees: “Sir your search ends here. In my previous job whenever something went wrong, everybody said I was responsible.”
Good ones...since you at least gave Jack a lead role in one of your jokes...lol
Johnny comes back from school crying and says, "Mommy all the kids in the school say I have a big head."
His mother replies, "No you don't Johnny. You have a hideously deformed head. The other children are merely hiding the truth to protect your feelings."
After winning 3 awards this week, Lady Gaga now says that she has something special, which separates her from other female pop artists......
Trust me, it's bollocks.
Enjoy some more ::
Teacher: Well, at least there’s one good thing I can say about your son.
Father: What’s that?
Teacher: With grades like these, he couldn’t be cheating.
its triger my head ache hehehe
... nice one especially when you're having a headache
Musharraf calls Bush on 11th sept:
Musharraf: Mr. President, I would like to express my condolences to you.
It is a real tragedy. So many people, such great bldgs...
I would like to ensure that we had nothing in connection with that..
Bush: What buildings? What people??
Musharraf: Oh, and what time is it in America now?
Bush: It's eight in the morning.
Musharraf: Oops...Will call back in an hour!
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A lot of lovemaking can unblock a stuffy nose! Dr. Choc
I would laugh...But I'm not five.
Wayne Bridge has said he has no hard feelings towards John Terry, and will prove it by buying a new Toyota Prius as a gift for the former England skipper....
old one, but thanks again for posting, at least u gave smily face to others.
Sounds like the Irish Kamakaze Pilot on his tenth mission..
Breaking news : 'Suicide Bomber Strikes again'
He is clearly not very good.
Thanks.. I was in the Ramada Bar the other day when..
A sandwich walks into the bar. The barman says "Sorry we don't serve food in here"
thanks for sharing brit..
I said to the Gym instructor "Can you teach me to do the splits?"
He said, "How flexible are you?"
I said, "I can't make Tuesdays".
haha very nice soniya ;-)
good one