Only 2 "S"-Starving and Stupid!
One day I was starving!
Starving, starving, starving….
So that's how I found myself at the Chingari Restaurant (Ramada), loading up my plate with all sorts of indian food.
Chingari Restaurant (Ramada), is famous for giving you many, many choices of everything.
So when I got to the Chingari, I was greeted with about 10 different kinds to choose from red sauce®, green sauce®, yellow sauce®, pink sauce®, bleu sauce®...
I spooned a couple of spoonfuls onto my mess of red curry sauce.
I sat down, shoveled some in my mouth, and promptly found myself on fire.
This may have been the spiciest sauce I've ever tasted.
But in spite of the pain, I ate the whole thing.
Two hours, it churned in my stomach. Two hours, I could feel it sitting there, kicking me like an 8-month-old fetus. Two hours, I dreaded what was going to come next.
But little did I know what was actually going to come next.
After a few false alarms during the day, it finally hit me.
We were in the middle of shooting a party scene at the bar -- but doodie comes before duty.
I excused myself and dashed to the bathroom.
At first, it was just a normal “water-loo”.
Loose stool, juicy farts, all that good stuff. But then, after about 10 minutes... the pain.
It didn't start out that bad -- a minor burning sensation localized in the O-ring. But the rawer my a.s.s became, the more the pain increased -- until my entire anal region was overcome by an all-consuming inferno.
I writhed on the seat, cursing my condiment of choice. For 15 minutes I struggled and fought, cried and moaned -- balancing the fire of pushing out the sh!t with the pain of keeping it in.
Eventually, my bowels were emptied, but the flames refused to subside. And wiping? That only made it worse.
A half hour after I entered the bathroom, I emerged. The photo shoot was still going on. My a.s.s was still burning. Bowlegged, I limped back to the set.
Now, gentle reader, I'm a spicy food veteran.
I love red sauce®, green sauce®, yellow sauce®, pink sauce®, bleu sauce® and chicken wings.
I put Tobasco on pizza.
I garnish my pasta with Devil Curry Sauce®. So let me tell you, fellow poopers, that never -- never! --- have I experienced anything like the pain I endured at the hands of Chingari’s killin' sauce.
I can sense that some of you reading this are doubters -- like I used to be.
Some of you think I'm exaggerating, using poetic license to make a point, that what I described could never have happened.
To you I can only shake my head and smile sadly, and remember what I endured.
If you don't believe me, you never will -- until it happens to you.
Forgive me Father bec i am a curry sinner!
Bless my O-ring Pope and pray for our health!! :)
The local pharmacy sells special instruments that checks for gasket leaks, specially when they are about 25 feet long and full of it!!
Poor Dracula is bleeding to death from the rear!!
You might bite folks in your town, but the food definitely took a chunk of your butt!!!
LOL
"If we are going to solve the challenges we face - we can't vacillate - we can't shift depending on our politics"
Barack Obama
I am not ok..la lala la lalalaaa
i am not ok! la laa la laaa
R u ok Dracula? how come there was a choice in everything?
--------
You know, that you are screwed, when ur phone rings, while you sneak into your own house like a thief and your wife is asleep at 3 am in the morning... Perhaps that would be the last time you enter your own house lol.
--------
Vegas
it would have been better if u would have read some detective stories by Alfread Hitchcock...LoL
vegas- but hey you did read it.......lol
life's too short so make the most of it, you only live but once.......
Forgiveness is life...:)
Yaaaaaaaaaaaaakkkkkkkkkk !!!
Thx Dra. U B happy in you " LOO KinGdoM " ...LoL
thx rizks! welcome to loo
GREAT Loooo TOPIC !!!!
donno watz NEXT ???
How does a blind man know that he's completely wiped ?
shhhh...girls..not so loud!!!
Let me tell you something, habenero is the worlds strongest pepper. On the pepper scale, in which pepporocinis and bannana peppers are a 1, tabasco is a 7, pure tobasco pepper that is. habenero is the only 10 there is, and the burning, let me explain...
Poo is naturaly acidic, usualy bordering just about a 6 or 6.5 presence of hydrogen (PH). habenero is basicly like battery acid, usualy around 3-2, or even lower, hydrochloric acid is about 1 to 1.5! the acidity of the habenero is dizzolved in your stomach, but, then broken down by stomach acid from the gall bladder (bile) your poop is a product of much manufacturing inside your body, most everything is taken out to be used as some kind of fuel. the acid, stays... the anus is already subject to stress, because it must expand so much, and the acid meets the tender skin and AAAAAHH!!!!!
don't wipe right away, use a shower or "buttsink" to inject a jet of warm water in there. I have a bad ass trauma from wiping after spice, sometimes i look down to see blood, after a poo, or even a fart!
So remember, if it burns, dont wipe, exept to clean off the top poo!!!!
but arent they used to doing it upside down??
life's too short so make the most of it, you only live but once.......
verrry difficult for a bat..
you know: up side down position...
hand help thingy to prolly wash the face??roflol (now dont ask me which face)
life's too short so make the most of it, you only live but once.......
alexa you just brought to mind abt a lady who thought it was for her to wash her hands in...........lol
life's too short so make the most of it, you only live but once.......
hmmm then again will he/she have time to get the milk.yoghurt??when all ya wanna do is letting it all out........
life's too short so make the most of it, you only live but once.......
Next time you get into a spot like this (let's hope you don't), try dousing the flames with chilled milk and/or yoghurt.
better call me Hottula!
Flanostu, with Labga's Imodium i am better now!
Sorry Bugsy, i can speak Hindi but i can cry in Hindi :(
Dracula - That was hilarious! Thats why I dont go anywhere without my Imodium. I just cant give up curry. Feel better!
if it makes you feel any better drac, i had a similar episode in Times Square.
Went to Hooters and had the 911 sauce. Lets just say the toilets in the ESPN bar weren't the same again.
The description that is, not your condition. Hope you're feeling better.
I know it's a little too late but 'Chiingari' in Hindi (India's national language), means the spark or embers!
in privacy nothing is gay as long as it will cool your a.s.s lol
[img_assist|nid=50852|title=hmm|desc=|link=none|align=left|width=|height=0]
omg, burning sensation where the sun dont shine and then ice cubes??whoa guys my lil heart goes out to ya...:P
life's too short so make the most of it, you only live but once.......
are you sure?
ICE-CUBE isnt gay?
next time be warned take ice cubes with you in the looooooooooooooo
lol
[img_assist|nid=50852|title=hmm|desc=|link=none|align=left|width=|height=0]
sorry man, i'm p!ssing myself laughing atm.
A crude expression with a mighty impact.
I am ever so glad i wore baggy boxer shorts today".
after war...many heeros! :P
You should've stick to blood...
"Everything in this book may be wrong." Illusions: The Adventures of The Reluctant Messiah by Richard Bach
touching cloth: when the turtle head of ones faeces pretudes to the extent that it touches the cloth which comprises ones underwear.
I'm kind of wimpy about spicy stuff anyway. Do love lots of garlic, though.
spicy-stuff
Thanks for the tip. Won't go near the stuff!!!!!!!!
notfromhere you're like me: not from here!
Dont play with Devil Curry Sauce®. :)
Told yaa!
hot Tamil brain souce® !!!!!!!
yummyy
Waaaaaaaayyyyyy Too Much Information :-0
It fried his brains..
what's the connection with my all-consuming inferno a.s.s.??????????
that was the same thing the heroic Santosh did in the movie "something something" (a blockbuster Tamil movie)...
in the end... he won brother's challenge for a price of love to its younger sister... whom they both fell in love each other in the first place...
~~~as always-BONITO ~~~
"Vin-da-Loo"
And you're my buddy, huh??
wtf didnt post an warning thread in Gulf Times before? huh?
You novice...
Every Brit knows that curry comes "out" hotter than it gows in!