And then the fight started...!!!

My wife sat down on the couch next to me as I
was flipping channels. She asked, 'What's on
TV?'
I said, 'Dust.'

And then the fight started...
------------------------------------------------------------

My wife was hinting about what she wanted for
our upcoming anniversary.. She said, 'I want something
shiny that goes from 0 to 150 in about 3 seconds.'
I bought her a weighing scale.

And then the fight started...
------------------------------------------------------------

When I got home last night, my wife demanded
that I take her some place expensive... so, I took her to a
gas station.

And then the fight started...

----------------------------------------------------------
I took my wife to a restaurant. The waiter, for
some reason, took my order first. "I'll have the
strip steak, medium rare, please." He said,
"Aren't you worried about the mad cow?" "Nah, she can order
for herself."

And then the fight started...

--------------------------------------------------------

A woman is standing nude, looking in the
bedroom mirror. She is not happy with what she sees and says
to her husband, 'I feel horrible; I look old, fat and ugly.
I really need you to pay me a compliment.' The husband
replies, 'Your eyesight's damn near perfect.'

And then the fight started.....

------------------------------------

I tried to talk my wife into buying a case of
Miller Light for $14.95. Instead, she bought a jar of cold
cream for $7.95. I told her the beer would make her
look better at night than the cold cream.

And then the fight started....

--------------------------------------------

My wife asked me if a certain dress made her
butt look big. I told her not as much as the dress she wore
yesterday

and then the fight started.....

---------------------------------------------

A man and a woman were asleep like two innocent
babies. Suddenly, at 3 o'clock in the morning, a loud
noise came from outside. The woman,
bewildered, jumped up from the bed and yelled at the man
'Holy crap. That must be my husband!' So the man
jumped out of the bed; scared and naked jumped out the
window. He smashed himself on the ground, ran through a
thorn bush and to his car as fast as he could go.
A few minutes later he returned and went up to the bedroom
and screamed at the woman, 'I AM your husband!'
The woman yelled back, 'Yeah, then why were you
running?'

And then the fight started.....

----------------------------------------------------

Saturday morning I got up early, quietly
dressed, made my lunch, grabbed the dog, and slipped quietly
into the garage. I hooked up the boat up to the
truck, and proceeded to back out into a torrential
downpour. The wind was blowing 50 mph, so I pulled back into
the garage, turned on the radio, and
discovered that the weather would be bad all day.
I went back into the house, quietly undressed, and slipped
back into bed.
I cuddled up to my wife's back, now with a different
anticipation, and whispered, 'The weather out there is
terrible.'
My loving wife of 10 years replied, 'Can you believe my
stupid husband is out fishing in that?'

And then the fight started
...
---------------------------------------------------

I asked my wife, "Where do you want to go
for our anniversary?" It warmed my heart to see her
face melt in sweet appreciation. "Somewhere I
haven't been in a long time!" she said.. So I suggested, "How about the kitchen?"

And that's when the fight started....

--------------------------------------------------------

My wife and I are watching Who Wants To Be A
Millionaire while we were in bed. I turned to her and said,
"Do you want to have sex?"
"No," she answered.
I then said, "Is that your final answer?" She
didn't even look at me this time, simply saying
"Yes."
So I said, "Then I'd like to phone a friend."

And that's when the fight started....