Weekend jokes

 BITTER HALF

Every wife is a "Mistress" for her husband. "Miss" for one hour & "Stress" for the rest 23 hours!
 
The are 2 times when a Man doesn't understand a Woman. Before Marriage and after Marriage.

Why were Hurricanes usually named after Women?Because when they arrive, they're wet and wild,but when they go, they take your house and car...

Husband searching keywords on Google `How to tackle wife? Google Search result, "Still Searching`.

Husband "Doctor, my Wife is unfaithful to me. Every evening, she goes to Larry's Bar and picks up men. In fact, she sleeps with anybody who asks her! I'm going crazy. What do you think I should do?" "Relax," says the doctor, "Take a deep breath and calm down. Now, tell me, exactly where is Larry's Bar?"

Husband throwing darts at his wife’s photo and not even a single one hitting the target... From another room wife called the husband: “Honey what are you doing...Husband: “MISSING YOU”...

People say there is no difference between COMPLETE & FINISH. But there is... When you marry the right one, you are COMPLETE.... And when you marry the wrong one, you are FINISHED..... And when the right one catches you with the wrong one, you are ... COMPLETELY FINISHED