WHY THE CALL CENTRE GUYS R PAID SO MUCH!!!!
PEOPLE WONDER WHY THE CALL CENTRE GUYS R PAID SO MUCH......FOR JUST BEING ON THE PHONE. TAKE A LOOK:
1). Tech Support: 'I need you to right-click on the Open Desktop.'
Customer 'Ok.'
Tech Support: 'Did you get a pop-up menu?'
Customer: 'No.'
Tech Support: 'Ok. Right click again. Do you see a pop-up menu?'
Customer 'No.'
Tech Support:: 'Ok, sir. Can you tell me what you have done up until this point?'
Customer: 'Sure, you told me to write 'click' and I wrote 'click'.'
------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --
2) Customer: 'I received the software update you sent, but I am still getting the same error message.'
Tech Support:: 'Did you install the update?'
Customer: 'No. Oh, am I supposed to install it to get it to work?'
------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --
3).Customer: : 'I'm having trouble installing Microsoft Word.'
Tech Support:: 'Tell me what you've done.'
Customer: 'I typed 'A:SETUP'.'
Tech Support:: 'Ma'am, remove the disk and tell me what it says.'
Customer:: 'It says '[PC manufacturer] Restore and Recovery disk'.'
Tech Support:: 'Insert the MS Word setup disk.'
Customer:: 'What?'
Tech Support: 'Did you buy MS word?'
Customer: 'No...'
------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --
4).Customer: : 'Do I need a computer to use your software?'
Tech Support:: ?!%#$
------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --
5).Tech Support:: 'Ok, in the bottom left hand side of the screen, canyou see the 'OK' button displayed?'
Customer: 'Wow. How can you see my screen from there?'
------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --
6) Tech Support:: 'What type of computer do you have?'
Customer:: 'A white one.'
------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --
7). Tech Support:: 'Type 'A:' at the prompt.'
Customer:: 'How do you spell that?'
------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --
8). Tech Support: 'What's on your screen right now?'
Customer: 'A stuffed animal that my boyfriend got me at the grocery store.'
------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --
9). Tech Support:: 'What operating system are you running?'
Customer: 'Pentium.'
------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --
10). Customer: 'My computer's telling me I performed an illegal abortion.'
------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --
11).Customer: 'I have Microsoft Exploder.'
------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --
12)..Customer: 'How do I print my voicemail?'
------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --
13). Customer: 'You've got to fix my computer. I urgently need to print document, but the computer won't boot properly.'
Tech Support: 'What does it say?'
Customer: 'Something about an error and non-system disk.'
Tech Support: 'Look at your machine. Is there a floppy inside?'
Customer: 'No, but there's a sticker saying there's an Intel inside.'
------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --
14). Tech Support: 'Just call us back if there's a problem. We're open 24 hours.'
Customer: 'Is that Eastern time?'
------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --
15). Tech Support:: 'What does the screen say now?'
Customer: 'It says, 'Hit ENTER when ready'.'
Tech Support:: 'Well?'
Customer: 'How do I know when it's ready?'
------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --
16). A plain computer illeterate guy rings tech support to report that his computer is faulty..
Tech: What's the problem?
User: There is smoke coming out of the power supply.
Tech: You'll need a new power supply.
User: No, I don't! I just need to change the startup files.
Tech: Sir, the power supply is faulty. You'll need to replace it.
User: No way! Someone told me that I just needed to change the startup and it will fix the
problem! All I need is for you to tell me the command.
10 minutes later, the User is still adamant that he is right. The tech is frustrated and fed up.
Tech: Sorry, Sir. We don't normally tell our customers this, but there is an undocumented DOS command that will fix the problem.
User: I knew it!
Tech: Just add the line LOAD NOSMOKE.COM at the end of the CONFIG.SYS.
Letme know how it goes.
10 minutes later.
User: It didn't work. The power supply is still smoking.
Tech: Well, what version of DOS are you using?
User: MS-DOS 6.22.
Tech: That's your problem there. That version of DOS didn't come with NOSMOKE. Contact Microsoft and ask them for a patch that will give you the file. Let me know how it goes.
1 hour later.
User: I need a new power supply.
Tech: How did you come to that conclusion?
User: Well, I rang Microsoft and told him about what you said, and he started asking questions about the make of power supply.
Tech: Then what did he say?
User: He told me that my power supply isn't compatible with NOSMOKE.
------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- -
17) customer care officer:I need a product identification no: right now and may I help u in finding it out?
Cust: sure
CCO: could u left click on start and do u find 'My Computer'?
Cust: I did left click but how the hell do I find your computer?
lol! this is funny, but i may be a little stupid myself... i can hear myself being a dumbas* customer as well!! hahaha!
"eat, drink and be merry"
I withnessed this kind of incident......
Our MD's Secretary (An arrogant 55 year old lady) called our computer hardware supplier & complained she could not write a CD .. They give her telephonic instruction for wat to do...after her vigorous effort..both of the party got fed up.. and they sent one technician.
he tried his level best..installed latest nero version.. and scanned computer with antivirus software. after spending 2-3 hours.....he failed miserably and left the office..
This lady got verymuch annoyed and angry & called up the marketting guy who supplied this system..
I will complain to MD.. stop all your payment...bla bla blaaa
Marketting guy responded... Madam.. who told you we supplied a CD writter.. Your computer is having a CD reader..only. refer our invoice.
customer care officer:I need a product
identification no: right now and may I help u in
finding it out?
Cust: sure
CCO: could u left click on start and do u find
'My Computer'?
Cust: I did left click but how the hell do I
find your computer?
Actual dialogue of a former WordPerfect Customer Support employee with a caller:
"Ridge Hall computer assistant; may I help you?"
"Yes, well, I'm having trouble with WordPerfect."
"What sort of trouble?"
"Well, I was just typing along, and all of a sudden the words went away."
"Went away?"
"They disappeared."
"Hmm. So what does your screen look like now?"
"Nothing."
"Nothing?"
"It's blank; it won't accept anything when I type."
"Are you still in WordPerfect, or did you get out?"
"How do I tell?"
"Can you see the C: prompt on the screen?"
"What's a sea-prompt?"
"Never mind. Can you move the cursor around on the screen?"
"There isn't any cursor, I told you, it won't accept anything I type."
"Does your monitor have a power indicator?"
"What's a monitor?"
"It's the thing with the screen on it that looks like a TV. Does it have a little light that tells you when it's on?"
"I don't know."
"Well, then look on the back of the monitor and find where the power cord goes into it. Can you see that?"
"Yes, I think so."
"Great. Follow the cord to the plug, and tell me if it's plugged into the wall."
".......Yes, it is."
"When you were behind the monitor, did you notice that there were two cables plugged into the back of it, not just one?"
"No."
"Well, there are. I need you to look back there again and find the other cable."
".......Okay, here it is."
"Follow it for me, and tell me if it's plugged securely into the back of your computer."
"I can't reach."
"Uh huh. Well, can you see if it is?"
"No."
"Even if you maybe put your knee on something and lean way over?"
"Oh, it's not because I don't have the right angle - it's because it's dark."
"Dark?"
"Yes - the office light is off, and the only light I have is coming in from the window."
"Well, turn on the office light then."
"I can't."
"No? Why not?"
"Because there's a power outage."
"A power... A power outage? Ah, Okay, we've got it licked now. Do you still have the boxes and manuals and packing stuff your computer came in?"
"Well, yes, I keep them in the closet."
"Good. Go get them, and unplug your system and pack it up just like it was when you got it. Then take it back to the store you bought it from."
"Really? Is it that bad?"
"Yes, I'm afraid it is."
"Well, all right then, I suppose. What do I tell them?"
"Tell them you're too stupid to own a computer."
[img_assist|nid=50852|title=hmm|desc=|link=none|align=left|width=|height=0]
working in call center can be psychologically tiring. i had my share for the travel account:
- passengers blame you for the cancelled flights due to hurricane or they accused you of deliberately changed their flight times wherein the airlines made some schedule...
- some passengers cannot understand regarding ticket prices and accused you of stealing their money when asked to pay additional amount
- some hotel guests call because they are not satisfied with the bed type or the hotel was not what they wanted to be...and blah blah blah...
well its not my fault! whahhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!
so does this explain the salary rate?
I think I've discovered the secret of life - you just hang around until you get used to it. ~Charles Schulz
Customer: I can't get on the Internet.
Tech support: Are you sure you used the right password?
Customer: Yes, I'm sure. I saw my colleague do it.
Tech support: Can you tell me what the password was?
Customer: Five stars.
Customer: I have a huge problem. A friend put a screen saver on my computer, but every time I move the mouse, it disappears.
Tech support: How can I help you?
Customer: I'm writing my first e-mail.
Tech support: Ok, and what seems to be the problem?
Customer: Well, I have the letter 'a' in the address, but how do I get the circle around it?
Thxx.....
Have A Great weekend.....
twas f_ _ _ long years......
huhuhu.....
thank you for posting all these jokes in here!
"I will never become just a mere memory"
i cant help but laugh aloud even if im in the office now
i have to pause reading to give myself an air to breathe. hilarious one!
enjoyed!!!!!
hahah NOSMOKE
"Pain is weakness leaving the body." USMC
i liked that one:
13). Customer: 'You've got to fix my computer. I urgently need to print document, but the computer won't boot properly.'
Tech Support: 'What does it say?'
Customer: 'Something about an error and non-system disk.'
Tech Support: 'Look at your machine. Is there a floppy inside?'
Customer: 'No, but there's a sticker saying there's an Intel inside.
the only thing, I think it's the old joke... today system is booting from CD, nobody use floppies...
and i liked
Tech Support: 'What's on your screen right now?'
Customer: 'A stuffed animal that my boyfriend got me at the grocery store.'
cute one...lol...
******* [img_assist|nid=94788|title=*******|desc=|link=none|align=left|width=|height=0]
Sun and I
really gooood onez ,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,
Ive worked in a call centre for an American Student Loans Co , n trust me ive come across similar dumb asses ,,,,,,,,,,,,, & we used to get calls from US ,,,
it was fun >>>>>>>>>>>
sanz