DOES YOUR SPOUSE HAVE THE RIGHT?
By joshtimjul •
Your cellphones, e-mails and other personal stuffs could be checked by your spouse? Send your views and comments!
Your cellphones, e-mails and other personal stuffs could be checked by your spouse? Send your views and comments!
We have separate accounts but my wife has all my passwords. Actually she has a facebook page I've never bothered to access, and frankly am not interested in, its just all her girlfriend stuff, I trust her completely.
Siddh - you're right one can set up almost any identity you want and its up to you to be truthful to your wife, GF/BF, etc.
ntropy - most likely when you get married you won't be bothered sharing all this stuff with your wife, at least I hope so... secrets in a marriage are bad, bad, bad news.
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A wise young crackpot knows no fear - Ian Dury.
What's the big deal? Me and my wife share each other's e-mail a/c passwords but do not access the e-mail accounts unless absolutely required to do so. We trust each other and respect mutual privacy too.
If one has to cheat, can anyone stop? There are people holding e-mail accounts in fake names and no spouse can guess that. even there are married men who hold duplicate (& secret) cell phone nos. which are used only for girl friends....what's the big deal?
If I were married and had a spouse and caught her reading my email and texts, I would make up things for her to find. It would serve her right abusing my privacy.
not a big deal :D
"BRING IT ON DUDE!!!"
Noooo!
I have nothing to hide about myself, though.
It's a matter of self respect too..
ummm.. Maybe my friends are telling texting me with secrets about their lives which he aint allowed to know about, like sometimes he keeps his friends' secrets too..etc..
[img_assist|nid=7232|title=Dua|desc=Amen :-)|link=none|align=left|width=440|height=56]
..........well i guess they have all the right to chk :o)...........
no questions for me... you have to be honest for it strengthens our relationship much more in marriage...
and as what Ukeng have said, this might be used against us so better come up clean...
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mai lain pa!
I don't have a mobile, tra la la...
his phone beeps and told me to read it. When I did, it was from "the girl" whom he said he broke up with before we become a couple. Turned out that he didn't broke up with her, and they were still going on behind my back.
I never suspected anything...or I was too trusting.
Now, I know better...
I have a password in my email and I've never been asked for it neither I asked for her password. My mobile is used by both of us cause I have a monthly payment and she has a pay as you go.
If there is a trust the problem or even just the question would never occur. If there is a bit of a doubt it's not worth it to live together, I don't like wasting my time on private investigation while I can do something more interesting and useful...
NO WAY!!! he can't check my emails, mobile...
but almost all my ex are giving their passwords for their email add, even facebook and friendster...that's why i can check it...
MyHotComments
Well as many of u said it all depends on how much u trust ur partner...For me its okay!My partner has all my passwords n i do have his but he never checks my emails :)
& then there is no big deal in it if he checks out as well!
They don't have the right to check.. What if a friend or a sister sent an sms confiding a secret in me.. Her trust in me doesn't automatically go to my husband.. I don't lock my cell phone with a password coz I'm positive my husband wouldn't check but it's not a good idea to ask him to check for me..
if you have nothing to hide? Trust begins by being honest to your spouse (in everything).
i mean, it applies to both of u.
YES.spouse have the right to check.
BUT if your spouse doesn't like to checked by you,, then u don't have the right to check their personal stuffs.
oooh tess, now you've raised my apparent "womans instinct". Why on earth would he give you access to everything BUT his wallet? That has made me suspicious already.
hmmm this is where the problem is. If someone acts like they have something to hide, then it makes other people want to know what it is. By giving full access to everything, shows you have nothing to hide, and therefore does not cause any suspicion and thus no snooping.
Well, yes..
in my ex-husband's computer or phone, but never would do it. We were very clear in the beginning that we needed to be treated with maturity and trust.
I refuse to drink the kool-aid! -- PM
...it is all about trust. You really do not bother about checking your spouse private mail/phones etc cause you trust that person, but if that trust has been abused by the spouse then that spouse ought to give up the right to privacy until the trust is built up again - which might be sooner or later or never at all...
You're a woman of this world.. I mean , you've done it :o)
Would you as a female of the species be able to ignore an open email account ???
If you choose to share with your spouse, that is fine. But "checking up" on their spouses' private communications means you don't trust and that indicates a pretty worthless marriage to me.
I refuse to drink the kool-aid! -- PM
The question is not about snooping..
Its to do with openness and trust.
I often leave my personal email open on my PC. I know that my wife "probably" wouldn't bother to look, but if she did, I have nothing to hide...
your marriage is pretty worthless.
I refuse to drink the kool-aid! -- PM
We'll fight the on the beaches and in the trenches..
Over Hills and under Mrs Dale..
Bring them on .... By the way, we don't play to win, we play to entertain..
but that's only because I think everyone should have privacy.
One of my friends had a girlfriend (now EX girlfriend...) who got into his email, facebook, phone and everything else he had and checked into it and then changed the passwords......not that he had any secrets..but she screwed up that relationship way past repair. I think that's the sign of a very paranoid person.
If you pick up a starving dog and make him prosperous, he will not bite you; that is the main difference between a dog and man.
-Mark Twain-
You Brits knocked India out of the T20 World Cup... :'(
I've picked my corner
Go Aussies!!!
OF COURSE the Aussies will win the Ashes as usual
Only thing left to decide is who or what will the English team blame this time...
But look at the brighter side
Your team beat the Aussie team in the current womens ODI series...
Maybe you should let the Ashes be decided every alternate year by the women play tests instead of the men... in the name of sexual equality...
At least that way the Ashes would be less a formality :-p
Damn you.. I never thought about that :o)
When I quoted MissX's statement... I reproduced her statement verbatim including her willingness to share her 'private things with her spouse'
And then you had a quick jab at me... I let that go
But then you go on to compliment the same MissX for her eloquence?!?!?!
So anything said with an Aussie accent is eloquent to you then is it?
Pick your corner
But remember.... the Ashes are round the corner...
Firstly... Trust is a two way street, i trust her to respect a certain degree of privacy as she does me. End of Story.
It's not about hiding another woman or what not, but say that person had a life before their spouse like trust funds etc, which are legally none of the other spouses business, it's not something that concernes them, but will create a problem.
On the other side though, if she somehow "got access" to my e-mail, then yeah, big problem. If she said can i have your password, that is different. Obviously queery the reason then make a choice after that.
If my g/f asks me to get her purse from her hand bag, i hand her the hand bag. That is her private property (even though they cost me an arm and a leg) and nothing to do with me, as is my wallet to her.
Phone? i don't really give a rats ass about, i use it to make phone calls and take pictures of my... eh... Bike? yeah that'll do. Hell i quite often give her my phone when i am with her. I don't like the bloody thing anyway.
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it depends on how ur spouses charecter is.if he or she is faithful and totally loyal to u,then its very unfair to that person to check his msgs,emails etc but if u feel that ur spouse is cheating on u or is dishonest to u ,u have every right to go to any extent to know the truth.
me and hubbi have one password for all email accounts and sms is always open to each other. there is nothing to hide so it doest really matter if he check or not.
i thought marrige is something that join two persons as one?
people who want to still keep things seperated are the one who are not yet fully committed.
action speaks louder than words
so true...
just want a reaction on snooping...:)
im related to a snooper...lol
between you and your love one. do you think they would do something behind your back or not?
i have married friends who will stop at nothing just not to share information with their spouses,
they just keep valued info out of reach.
so with the mobile and emails,i dnt think they would keep info there.
better search his wallet,the shirt collar,even his underwear drawer for secrets....:)
very irritating...
is youre wife checking up on you at work?
Dagway ai!
women are suspicious creatures, better not let them any where near your private information, they can easily misinterpret the information, and get confused and start speculating..:)
Like BritExpat, they should only be allowed to check out your private bits..:)
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HE WHO DARES WINS
Knowing the password or having access doesnt mean that they are spyin on them all the time...I have all my Passwords saved in my home PC... both of us use that PC...but I dont think he read my mails...
I do check at times to see if any mail from bank or something which he never open...
If you dont have any problem in him/her seeing it....what cant they have access...
Dude what if you see two men holding hands together, what do you say then?
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HE WHO DARES WINS
Alexa,
Pure love or not... sometimes I see a couple, and I think.......
wow, that guy is screwed!!!
lol :-P
...write when you can speak and never speak when you can nod.
If you're living life on the edge, you've got too much room.
jonjavajoves.. we are talking about love of one man to one woman here.. not to many women at the same time..lol
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HE WHO DARES WINS
I have nothing to hide. We share a personal email account and both have work accounts. I often leave my phone lying around the house and tell Hubby to check when I get a text if I'm in the other room! I wouldn't go looking and wouldn't expect him to either. Simple as!
Perhaps i am a hopeless romantic, but pure love while not timeless (for me yet) is not a myth.
>Alexa said Dude...I hate to break this ...
Dude...I hate to break this to you...but "pure love" is a myth.
Let mad dogs bark at the moon...in solitude.
I think this was pretty elegant :)
> britexpat said veri.. ...
I trust my spuse to "look at my private things" ;o)
> britexpat said Missx.. ...
Thankyou.. Exactly the point i was trying to make.... but not so eloquently :o)
totally agree Alexa.. :)
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HE WHO DARES WINS
is the harm in sharing your emails, sms or cell phones.
To the extent of access is fine as Trust is the KEY in any relationship.
Suspicion and cross questioning with suspicion causes a havoc and kills the beauty and bliss of marital relationship & faith.
Any person that feels the need to check on his/her partner, may as well leave him/her at that point.
no trust = no pure love = waste of time.
Simple as that.
Thankyou.. Exactly the point i was trying to make.... but not so eloquently :o)
Well, if the 2 people know they can access their partners private messages whenever they want, and are fully welcome to do it, I think they will realise simply from that, that the partner does not have anything to hide.
I trust my spuse to "look at my private things" ;o)
Ow god...
I am guessing the topic-starter is Asian, most likely Pinoy.
Do Pinoys have a gen for Drama? Or is drama the DNA code that makes a pinoy?
I agree with MissX but with a caveat...
'I don't think a spouse has the right to look at your private things.'
BUT
if one of the spouses has done something to violate the mutual trust... then he or she loses her right to privacy until the trust has been regained...
missX when u say solid trusting relationship what makes them go through each others personal stuff.....
Aana free, jaana free,
Pakde gaye tho khana free.
Ha ha ha. You hit the nail on the head gypsy. Share is something the holder of the emails does, not the person wanting to see the email.
I don't think a spouse has the right to look at your private things. But people in a solid trusting relationship will voluntarily share everything.
If the trust is weak than the fear and suspicion is high!
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HE WHO DARES WINS
You should have a level of trust in your spouse to not have to do this.
If you are doing it then the trust is gone,so you may aswell packup and move out as you can never get the trust back.
If your marriage has reached a point where your wife is so suspicious of you to check your phone without you knowing, or check your emails behind your back, then it's time hire a divorce lawyer.
I understand the argument that if you don't have any secrets, then there is nothing to hide.
But if you don't have reason to doubt, then you wouldn't look in the first place.
If your husband/wife distrusts you that much, your marriage is over.
NO! those are private... being a spouse doesn't give anyone the right to access one's personal stuff without the other's permission.
Life's a bitch and then you DIE! ;)
I have no problem SHARING my emails with my boyfriend, as in, I forward them to him or show him one or talk about it. Or even giving him my password so he can go in and check or send something for me. But it he's going in to "check up" on me, forget it. Obviously there's no trust in the relationship and therefore there's no relationship.
no way!
HELL NO! I dont care who they are private emails should remain private.
Good Fortune always comes knocking at your door...when you are sh*tting in the toilet!! :)
_[]~SMoKE~[]_
It is up to the individual and depends on the maturity of the relationship.
My "spouse" has access to my emails (not work) and mobile phonem if she wants to. i on't have a problem with it. I know she doesn't bother with them, but if she did, i have nothing to hide from her...
Sure, they can check. I would never check. There is so much behind every relationship that an email, contact, phone call could be misinterpreted, and frankly i don't really want to know the details.
Of course me personally, If one of my girls had enouph time on her hands to go through my emails and didn’t say something, no big deal, but if they went through and told me / asked me / accused me; They would be irreconcilably out of my door forever. Well, except for maybe the occasional booty call. :)
Those who check, doesnt trust...simple
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- Listen to Many...Speak to a Few -
give her the email id you dont use also buy one sim and keep it in the office and flirt using that....that would make her happy.
Aana free, jaana free,
Pakde gaye tho khana free.
its a matter of trust...and if you trust your other half entrust her everything, hehehe
Correct me if I'm wrong, majority of wives always checks on their husbands cellphones, and husbands does not check on their wives. If a marriage is based on trust, then wives should not be poking their nose on their husband's personal stuff. Come on people! It's getting hot in here!
Its just the matter of TRUST.
I think the spouse should have access... they should know whats goin on...
big NO here...all this is called personal so it can't be shared.
Aana free, jaana free,
Pakde gaye tho khana free.
Absolutely NOT! That's a complete invasion of privacy and trust.
if you don't have any secrets that your spouse will discover then i dont see any reason why...
Yes, as for me and my husband it's not a big deal if he checks my personal stuff or if I checks his things. In fact, he entrust his email/ friendster and expects me to give him updates. Same thing on the phone, that is when we are together.
Some may think that its invasion of privacy but it all depends on the marriage set up you've build, on the things you've agreed upon.
It could be used against you in the court of law..:0
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HE WHO DARES WINS
yes they have the right you should'not write or say anything you don't want them to hear or read. what's your theirs now!