Enhancing Relationships

TRUST is a very important factor for all
relationships. When trust is broken, it is the end of
the relationship. Lack of trust leads to suspicion,
suspicion generates anger, anger causes enmity and
enmity may result in separation.

A telephone operator told me that one day she received
a phone call. She answered, 'Public Utilities
Board.' There was silence. She repeated, 'PUB.'
There was still no answer. When she was going to cut
off the line, she Heard a lady's voice, 'Oh, so this
is PUB.Sorry, I got the number from my Husband's
pocket but I do not know whose
number it is.'

Without mutual trust, just imagine what will happen to
the couple if the telephone operator answered with
just 'hello' instead of 'PUB'.

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NO POINTING FINGERS

A man asked his father-in-law, 'Many people praised
you for a successful marriage. Could you please share
with me your secret?'
The father-in-law answered in a smile, 'Never
criticize your wife for her shortcomings or when she
does something wrong. Always bear in mind that because
of her shortcomings and weaknesses, she could not find
a better husband than
you.'

We all look forward to being loved and respected. Many
people are afraid of losing face. Generally, when a
person makes a mistake, he would look around to find a
scapegoat to point the finger at. This is the start of
a war. We should always remember that when we point
one finger at a person, the other four fingers are
pointing at ourselves.

If we forgive the others, others will ignore our
mistake too.

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CREATING PERFECT RELATIONSHIPS?

A person visited the government matchmaker for
marriage, SDU, and requested 'I am looking for a
spouse. Please help me to find a suitable one.' The
SDU officer said, 'Your requirements, please.' 'Oh,
good looking, polite, humorous , sporty,
knowledgeable, good in singing and dancing. Willing to
accompany me the whole day at home during my
leisure hour, if I don't go out. Telling me
interesting stories when I need companion for
conversation and be silent when I want to rest.' The
officer listened carefully and replied, 'I understand
you need television.'

There is a saying that a perfect match can only be
found between a blind wife and a deaf husband ,because
the blind wife cannot see the faults of the husband
and the deaf husband cannot hear the nagging of the
wife. Many couples are blind and deaf at the courting
stage and dream of perpetual perfect relationship.
Unfortunately, when the excitement of love wears off,
they wake up and discover that marriage is not a bed
of roses. The nightmare begins.

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NO OVERPOWERING

Many relationships fail because one party tries to
overpower another,or demands too much. People in love
tend to think that love will conquer all and their
spouses will change the bad habits after marriage.
Actually, this is not the case. There is a Chinese
saying which carries the meaning that 'It is easier to
reshape a mountain or a river than a person's
character.'

It is not easy to change. Thus, having high
expectation on changing the spouse character will
cause disappointment and unpleasantness.

It would be less painful to change ourselves and lower
our expectations..

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RIGHT SPEECH

There is a Chinese saying which carries the meaning
that 'A speech will either prosper or ruin a nation.'
Many relationships break off because of wrong speech.
When a couple is too close with each other,we always
forget mutual respect and courtesy. We may say
anything without considering if it would hurt the
other party.

A friend and her millionaire husband visited their
construction site. A worker who wore a helmet saw her
and shouted,'Hi, Emily! Remember me? We used to date
in the secondary school.' On the way home, her
millionaire husband teased her, 'Luckily you married
me.Otherwise you will be the wife of a construction
worker.' She answered ,'You should appreciate that you
married me. Otherwise, he will be the millionaire and
not you.'

Frequently exchanging these remarks plants the seed
for a bad relationship. It's like a broken egg -
cannot be reversed.

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PERSONAL PERCEPTION

Different people have different perception. One man's
meat could be another man's poison. A couple bought a
donkey from the market. On the way home,a boy
commented, 'Very stupid. Why neither of them ride on
the donkey?'Upon hearing that, the husband let the
wife ride on the donkey. He walked besides them.
Later, an old man saw it and commented, 'The husband
is the head of family. How can the wife ride on the
donkey while the husband is on foot?' Hearing this,
the wife quickly got down and let the husband ride on
the donkey.

Further on the way home, they met an old Lady. She
commented, 'How can the man ride on the donkey but let
the wife walk. He is no gentleman.'
The husband thus quickly asked the wife to join him on
the donkey. Then, they met a young man. He commented,
'Poor donkey, how can you hold up the weight of two
persons. They are cruel to you.' Hearing that, the
husband and wife immediately climbed down from the
donkey and carried it on their shoulders.

It seems to be the only choice left. Later, on a
narrow bridge, the donkey was frightened and
struggled. They lost their balance and fell into the
river. You can never have everyone praise you, nor
will everyone condemn you. Never in the past, not at
present, and never will be in the future.

Thus, do not be too bothered by others words if our
conscience is clear..