Girl or boy?
DID MARY REALLY WANT A LITTLE GIRL?
More mums now want girls than boys for the first time in history
• 45 per cent of mothers favour girls - but just 22 per cent want boys
• However double the number of dads want boys
• Three quarters of parents say ‘gender preference’ is normal – but only a quarter reveal their choice for their child’ sex to their partner
• One in 50 would consider termination for the ‘wrong sex’
MORE mothers want baby girls than boys for the first time ever, fascinating new research from Britain’s biggest parenting site Netmums reveals.
Traditionally parents have favoured male children but in modern Britain more than double the number of mums now prefer to have daughters over sons.
The study found 45 per cent of mums secretly wished to give birth to a daughter while only 22 per cent hope to have a boy.
But for fathers the reverse is true with 27 per cent hoping their newborn will be a boy while only 15 per cent want a girl.
Fewer than a third of the of 1,560 parents polled (31%) expressed absolutely no preference for the sex of their child.
The news comes at the Duchess of Cambridge recently announced her first pregnancy. New rules of succession passed last year means her child with Prince William will be automatically become third in line to the throne, whatever their sex whereas previously the firstborn male would have taken preference.
The desire to have a child of the ‘right’ sex is so strong that one in ten mums described themselves as ‘desperate’ for their chosen gender while a further quarter claimed to ‘really want’ either a girl or a boy.
But worryingly one in 50 (2.2 per cent) would consider a termination if their unborn baby was the ‘wrong’ sex – known as ‘gender disappointment’ - with a shocking one in 1,000 women saying they have gone through with the procedure.
And for those mums who discovered they are carrying the ‘wrong’ sex, it can have a profound effect on their pregnancy. One in 14 said they ‘grieved’ for the duration of their pregnancy while four per cent claimed they ‘never got over the disappointment’ of giving birth to a child of the ‘wrong’ gender.
A further eight per cent of parents say having the ‘wrong’ sex child wrecked their ability to bond with the baby at birth with one in 50 saying they ‘never’ managed to overcome it.
A huge three quarters of parents quizzed (75%) said the believe having a gender preference is normal – but only a quarter (24%) admitted their feelings to their partner while only one in five (20%) told close family and friends. A further ten per cent said having a preference made them feel ‘silly and selfish’.
However, despite parents strong preferences, under half (49%) of parents-to-be find out the sex of their child at the routine 20-week scan. One in ten (9%) said hospital staff were banned from telling them while five per cent paid privately for an early scan to reveal the gender.
But despite modern technology, the study also showed 1.5 per cent of mums who were told the baby’s sex at the scan went on to give birth to a baby of the opposite gender, proving the technology is not foolproof.
Interestingly in modern Britain, family pressures are now stronger for parents to have girls with nine per cent of mums saying they felt under pressure to have a daughter compared to just seven per cent for sons.
But having the ‘wrong’ sex has become one of the main reasons for parents to keep adding to their family, with 22 per cent revealing they became pregnant again in a bid to have the opposite gender.
The prime reason for mums wanting daughters was because women felt they would ‘bond and understand’ them better, felt by a third of women while 32 per cent wanted to dress up their child and decorate the nursery for a girl. A further 15 per cent of mums were brought up in a ‘female dominated household’ and wanted the same for their child.
Commenting on the findings, Netmums founder Siobhan Freegard said: “On finding out they are expecting, almost every mum and dad says they don’t mind what they are having as long as the child is healthy – but this study uncovers the real truth that parents actually have very strong preferences on their baby’s sex.
“While for hundreds of years the pressure was on for mum to produce sons, this has now switched and families around the country have a stronger desire for daughters.
“Gender preference is one of the last taboos of parenting with many mums and dads reluctant to admit how they feel. But the good news is that even when the baby wasn’t what they were expecting, the vast majority of parents fall head of heels in love with the new bundle of joy.
“If you feel you could be affected by gender disappointment, it’s vital to remember your child isn’t just a sex, it’s a wonderful person with its own character and traits waiting to be loved and cherished. So pink or blue, embrace your child and get to know them, not their gender.”
I know like for the fact when kids grow up they bond with a certain parent, example, for my instance I bonded with my mom more than my dad. Also there is a reason the sentences "mommy's boy" and "daddy's girl" exist or better known as Oedipus Complex and Electra complex. So I think woman should be more happy if it's a boy than a girl, while a man should be more happy with a girl.
i feel like to have biyani now no merci :P
It is the Daily Fail NM, so there's a good chance.
Boys and girls are created to complement each other. Neither is superior.Both are great in their own ways.
Let's hope it is not true.
I know NM. I can't help but feel so sorry for the little boy she might be having. :(
my mistake that i didn't read the article ,
i found it long and i was busy.
let's see :)
Mimi, I think that woman is defo disturbed.
And about the article, it is shocking and disturbing...IF it is true.
Although, with the mindset of so many people ,it does not surprise me.
The selfishness and callousness of so many people is simply astounding!
realy
"Father always wanted to have boy in the family to preserve his family name & legacy,"...'most of the fathers' would make the sentence not to be disputed by me...:)
I know NM, not sure what boys she knows but the one's I know never harmed wildlife?
Her view of girls is equally disturbing.
She makes me want another boy. :P
hehehe nomerci :)
it is not a rule what i said above , all of them are good
http://www.islamweb.net/emainpage/index.php?page=articles&id=140381
With the advent of Islam, the darkness of that era vanished and Allaah enjoined kindness, love and compassion towards girls. Taking good care of girls was encouraged, as was giving them special attention in the process of their upbringing. In fact, Islam has designated a special reward for raising them that is not granted for raising sons. Anas may Allaah be pleased with him reported that the Prophet sallallaahu `alayhi wa sallam ( may Allaah exalt his mention ) said: "He who raises two daughters until their puberty will be with me in Paradise like this", and he symbolized the proximity by showing two of his fingers with a slight gap between them." (Muslim)
Here we go...stereotyping...typical lol
girls are the heaven in life , and the support for their parents more than the boys.
they are kind heart
Father always wanted to have boy in the family to preserve his family name & legacy, that's why married women always bear the last name of her husband.
Maybe it would be better for people like that woman not to have kids. Even if she had only girls, what would she teach them?
Boys are gross; they attack their siblings with sticks, are obsessed with toilets, casually murder local wildlife and turn into disgusting teenage boys and then boring, selfish men.
Read more: http://www.qatarliving.com/node/7483576#ixzz2EjlTEqn1
Rather sad!
Agree Brit. I understand preferring one over the other before you find out the sex, but carrying the disappointment around after the child is born is just horrible.
I can believe that a woman may prefer to have a certain sex child, but once it arrives, I am sure most would be happy and bond with their offspring.
they are a remix of both genders
Lesbians and gays are boys and girls radius. They aren't a third gender.
Agree happygolucky, I can't believe that 1 in 50 women said they would terminate if they didn't like the gender of the baby.
boy or girl is better than lesbian & gay :)
"The prime reason for mums wanting daughters was because women felt they would ‘bond and understand’ them better, felt by a third of women while 32 per cent wanted to dress up their child and decorate the nursery for a girl. A further 15 per cent of mums were brought up in a ‘female dominated household’ and wanted the same for their child".
"But having the ‘wrong’ sex has become one of the main reasons for parents to keep adding to their family, with 22 per cent revealing they became pregnant again in a bid to have the opposite gender".
"A further eight per cent of parents say having the ‘wrong’ sex child wrecked their ability to bond with the baby at birth with one in 50 saying they ‘never’ managed to overcome it".
How is this different than killing of a girl child even before it is born due to the preference for the male child back home for which there are so many govt. agencies and NGO's now working to change the mindsets. Guess, this report can atleast lift the stigma on my home country (specially the rural parts, as is generally given to understand) that they have gender specific mindsets.
The original article is from Netmums, but I figured I'd follow it up with some Daily Fail.
Interesting to see on netmums though that many women are discussing how disappointed they can be when they find out the gender of their baby, and that it affects bonding.
I can't imagine being disappointed with a babies gender.
Are you able to summarise?
The poor kid. :(
MM - Oh what is this? I am at work.... started to read this, interestedly, and then saw the size of the post......
NOT the Daily Mail :O(
It's taboo to admit it, but I wish my unborn baby wasn't a beastly boy!
By Esther Walker
PUBLISHED: 02:05 GMT, 10 December 2012 | UPDATED: 02:06 GMT, 10 December 2012
Please, not a boy,’ I hissed at my sister Harriet. ‘If it’s a boy, I’ll just die. I can only deal with one man in my life... and sometimes that’s one too many.’
I’d just announced my second pregnancy, and a nagging fear that had started from the moment I saw my positive pregnancy test weeks earlier had grown into a full-blown conviction that I felt ashamed to admit out loud. I really didn’t want a boy.
Please don’t condemn me. I know very little about boys, coming from a family of all girls, but what I have seen I really haven’t liked. Boys are gross; they attack their siblings with sticks, are obsessed with toilets, casually murder local wildlife and turn into disgusting teenage boys and then boring, selfish men.
My husband Giles and I already have one girl, 22-month-old Kitty, and my second pregnancy had been so different and so much worse than my first, with horrid morning sickness from the outset, that I was starting to panic that there was something radically different about it, i.e. there was that alternative, dreaded gender in the mix.
There were reasons why I could confess my boy aversion only to my sister. Mothers who declare a gender preference out loud are breaking a huge taboo — the acceptable thing to say is that your only care is that the child is healthy and happy.
If someone is rude enough to press you, you must stare off into the distance with a martyrish look on your face and say: ‘Well, I suppose it would be nice to have one of each.’ And then you leave it there.
If you are like Victoria Beckham or Jools Oliver and already have three of one gender, you are allowed to hope for one or the other, but that’s the only situation in which it’s acceptable to have any opinion. Otherwise you are just a bit monstrous and ungrateful — what about all the women who can’t have children at all?
But the truth is I like girls, I understand girls and I’ve always dreaded the idea of having a boy. People say how emotionally uncomplicated boys are and how manipulative and fussy girls are. But what use is a plain-speaking boy to me? I wouldn’t know where to start. I know exactly where I am with girls and their petty mind games. I’ve played them myself. I’m a Grand Master of them.
Read more: http://www.dailymail.co.uk/femail/article-2245681/Its-taboo-admit-I-wish-unborn-baby-wasnt-beastly-boy.html#ixzz2EjiHMg4G
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my sense make it clear u want lady gaga
Girl or boy Alhumdulillah, both are welcome :)
To be in the middle way....I WANT GAY.