Ladies night out....must stop
Two women friends had gone for a ladies night out; both were very faithful and loving wives. However, they had gotten over-enthusiastic on the Bacardi Breezers. Incredibly drunk & walking home, they needed to pee, so they stopped in the cemetery. One of them had nothing to wipe with so she thought she would take off her panties and use them. Her friend, however,was wearing a rather expensive pair of panties and did not want to ruin them, but was lucky enough to squat down next to a grave that had a wreath with ribbon on it, so she proceeded to wipe with that. After the ladies did their business, they proceeded to go home. The next day, one woman's husband was concerned that his normally sweet and innocent wife was still in bed hung over, so he phoned the other husband and said, "These damn Ladies night out have got to stop. I'm starting to suspect the worst. My wife came home without her panties." "You think that's bad" said the other husband, "Mine is lying in bed with a card stuck in her ass that says:
> "From all of us at the Fire Station. We'll never forget you."
lol I thought wife for sale
If you can't change your fate, change your attitude.
NICE ONE LOL
1. You have two choices in life. You can stay single and be miserable, or get married and wish your were dead.
2. At a cocktail. party, one woman said to another, "aren't you wearing your wedding ring on the wrong finger?"
"Yes, I am. I married the wrong man."
3. A lady inserted an ad. in the classifieds:
"Husband Wanted". Next day she received a hundred letters. They all said the same thing: "You can have mine.".
4. When a woman steals your husband, there is no better revenge than to let her keep him.
5. A woman is incomplete until she is amrried. Then she is finished.
6. A little boy asked his father, "Daddy, how much does it cost to get Married?"
Father replied, "I don't know, son, I'm still paying."
7. A young son asked, "Is it true Dad, that in some parts of Africa a man doesn't know his wife until he marries her?"
Dad replied, "That happens in every country, son."
8. A woman who said, "I never knew what real happiness was, until I got married; and by then it was too late."
9. If you want your spouse to listen and pay attention to every word you say talk in your sleep.
10. Just think, if it wasn't for marriage, men wolud go through life thinking they had no faults at all.
11. First guy says, "My wife 's an Angel!"
Second guy remarks, "You're lucky. Mine's still alive."
12. A Woman's Prayer:
Dear Lord, I pray for Wisdom, to understand a man, to love and to forgive him, and for Patience, for his moods. Because, Lord, if I pray for Strength, I'll just beat him to death.
13. Marriage is the Triumph of Imagination over Intelligence.
Next time you think your hotel bill is too high...you might want to use this mans logic.
A husband and wife are travelling by car from Key West to Boston. After almost twenty-four hours on the road, they're too tired to continue, and they decide to stop for a rest.
They stop at a nice hotel and take a room, but they only plan to sleep for four hours and then get back on the road.
When they check out four hours later, the desk clerk hands them a bill for $350.
The man explodes and demands to know why the charge is so high.
He tells the clerk although it's a nice hotel, the rooms certainly aren't worth $350.
When the clerk tells him $350 is the standard rate, the man insists on speaking to the Manager.
The Manager appears, listens to the man, and then explains that the hotel has an Olympic- sized pool and a huge conference center that were
available for the husband and wife to use.
"But we didn't use them", the man complains.
"Well, they are here, and you could have," explains the Manager.
He goes on to explain they could have taken in one of the shows for which the hotel is famous.
"The best entertainers from New York, Hollywood and Las Vegas perform here," the Manager says.
"But we didn't go to any of those shows," complains the man again.
"Well, we have them, and you could have", the Manager replies.
No matter what facility the Manager mentions, the man replies, "But we did'nt use it!"
The Manager is unmoved, and eventually the man gives up and agrees to pay.
He writes a check and gives it to the Manager.
The Manager is surprised when he looks at the check.
"But sir," he says, this check is only made out for
$100."
"That's right," says the man. "I charged you $250 for sleeping with my wife.
But I didnt, exclaims the manager "Well," the man replies, "she was here, and you could have."
Mine had no panties.......
Life is too short and if u r not living on the edge then u r taking up too much space.
How did you know about my wife? Did she tell you?
Victory attained by violence is tantamount to a defeat, for it is momentary. Mahatma Gandhi
This is really a Cool one.......
Salax85..it was only for a good laugh....dont want to end up on the wrong side of the bunch.
Did not deserve nasty PMs............have a heart ladies
Life is too short and if u r not living on the edge then u r taking up too much space.
there must b a lot willing to help avoid such a situation.:))
Life is too short and if u r not living on the edge then u r taking up too much space.
Nice one ,