Long Distance Relationships, does it really work?

azilana7037
By azilana7037

In the sense that a large majority of us have, at one time or another, been involved in an LDR–and rational, in that they do work, and often they are the best choice given the alternatives that we face. Long-distance marriages are less common, but by no means rare. So LDRs are everywhere, and everyone wants to know one thing: Do they work?

Most people are interested in whether or not the relationship can simply survive the separation. They want to know if trying a long-distance relationship means that they have a greater chance of breaking up than if they were in a geographically close relationship. The most accurate answer to this is that no one knows for sure.
Interestingly, research has shown that women tend to find fault within the relationship, seeing the breakup as resulting from interpersonal problems (“We’re just not right for each other”), while men are more likely to try to place the blame on something outside of the relationship, such as too much time apart.

What is the most challenging thing about LDR? Is it considered dishonesty to the partner if he/she dates another?

By alexdesua• 29 Jul 2007 22:12
alexdesua

Thank God ,.. YES it works ,..

u can see the beauty by afar , as they say ,... every time we got separated the more we got in love with each other,.... the pain exist ,..but the PROMISE is there,.. that ,..we will see each other again ,.. ..... more in LOVE with each other ,...

Great minds discuss ideas; average minds discuss events; small minds discuss people. - Eleanor Roosevelt

By azilana7037• 29 Jul 2007 20:34
azilana7037

I guess you didn't know that I've been waiting since February...hehehe

Patient? nope..It's just that I have friends in and out of QL whom I loved so dearly that the only time I feel lonely is when I'm going to bed at night... a few more days till September...

By anonymous• 29 Jul 2007 20:27
anonymous

Hi azzi u have been patient ? Great All the best...

By DaRuDe• 29 Jul 2007 20:07
DaRuDe

You are the only one master piece in whole QL family :D

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By azilana7037• 29 Jul 2007 20:05
azilana7037

blindly waiting, and believing? May be age has something to do with it or what we had in the past, the trials we went through...

I will soon find out... ;-P

By Scorpio27• 29 Jul 2007 19:46
Rating: 2/5
Scorpio27

NO! it does not work...

By Sinned• 29 Jul 2007 17:21
Sinned

it doest work.

By owen• 29 Jul 2007 15:00
owen

it just DON'T...totally waste of time if it does..

By simplestguy90210• 29 Jul 2007 14:57
simplestguy90210

....... IT DIDN'T.......

By WaRider• 29 Jul 2007 14:22
WaRider

Well, I just got out of one. My guess is that it doesn't work...at least for me!

By Karin• 27 Jul 2007 09:10
Karin

I agree with aviduser. i tried LDR many times for me it is not worth it unless you are planning that one of you is going to be moving to be with the other one in less than a year. Otherwise, stay in LDR but open relationship instead. I feel the pain and agony are more than the joy it gives...unless if you are really patient or a masochist.lol

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By Gypsy• 26 Jul 2007 09:05
Gypsy

Depends on the people. Personally they don't work for me, I like my "face time" on a regular basis. LOL.

"I fight with love and I laugh with rage, you have to live light enough to see the humor and long enough to see some change." Ani Difranco

By azilana7037• 26 Jul 2007 07:21
azilana7037

When I posted this topic a couple months back, I was questioning whether LONG DISTANCE RELATIONSHIP would work. But, sometimes I think of the other side of the story why won't it work?

For me, it's constant communication and TRUST...

By kami• 14 Apr 2007 11:54
kami

well this is the real thing which he also worries thinking abt meeting each other in real thinking abt what will happen when they wil meet what if the girl is not the way she looks at the web cam what is the guy is not the same as he looks at the web cam this is something which is a point of conern but even with this they say that we will see that time what happens and as for today jus live life like a normal person and lets love like a normal person with out thinking abt 2mrrow

By Gypsy• 14 Apr 2007 11:51
Gypsy

Until they meet in real life, it's just a fantasy. My guess is the moment they do meet they will realize this.

I feel your scorn and I accept it-Jon Stewart

By kami• 14 Apr 2007 11:48
kami

i dont kno i feel it is alrite till the time they both like each other i have seen these two ppl they like each others company ans it is not that this guy is not getting any opertunity here at his palce but he is so attaached to this gurl that he dont want too go ne other way he had tired sevral times but at the end he comes back to this girl. i don think they have been fooling around frm past two yrs coz no one stick for so long

By kami• 14 Apr 2007 11:44
kami

then what is it what ru going to call it if u wont call this relationship

By Gypsy• 14 Apr 2007 11:37
Gypsy

They haven't met??? Then it's not even a relationship. :P And puppy love can last a long time.

I feel your scorn and I accept it-Jon Stewart

By kami• 14 Apr 2007 11:34
kami

i have a freind too who is into LDR but here he met this girl on line abt 2 yrs back and they havent met yet but they are planing to meet this yr end or next yr starting they both are in love but sometime boy feels that there is no zing in this relationships n he feel like getting out but this girls love him so much at the at the end he stick to this girl coz of her love n support which she gives to this girl and i dont think this is a puppy love coz it has ben 2 yrs n they both are doing there graduation.

By Jesse66125• 14 Apr 2007 11:14
Jesse66125

If she ends up getting hurt.it's no skin off my back.

By Gypsy• 14 Apr 2007 11:10
Gypsy

Sorry honey but relationships when your 16 aren't even worth discussing. It's just teenagers. It will pass and she'll move on to someone else, then someone else, then someone else.

I feel your scorn and I accept it-Jon Stewart

By Jesse66125• 14 Apr 2007 10:56
Jesse66125

Her parents won't pay the long distance charges,so she can't call him.I'm worried he's just calling her when ever it's "convinent"...

By Gypsy• 14 Apr 2007 10:31
Gypsy

UM, she's 16, let the relationship run it's course and she'll be broken up with him before long. It's just puppy love.

I feel your scorn and I accept it-Jon Stewart

By Jesse66125• 14 Apr 2007 10:25
Jesse66125

She met this boy in middle school and 3 years ago he moved four states away.He's been calling her quite frequently to check up on her.They seem to be very close.They've even planned out their college careers and wedding day.I tried warn her about LDR's especially since she's only 16.Believing it to be the will of God that they're meant to be together,she chewed me out for getting involved.I care deeply for her and I really don't want to see her hurt.Any suggestions?

By joann_xvi• 11 Apr 2007 13:38
joann_xvi

can you send me this cute dancing spiderman?

My email address is [email protected]

thanks

By Laz• 11 Apr 2007 12:32
Laz

no matter how much it lasts, it'll end eventually. its not matter of trust, I can speak from my won experience, even if the 2 partners dont go out with others, theres a saying that goes: Away from the eyes, away from the heart

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By anonymous• 10 Apr 2007 19:58
Rating: 4/5
anonymous

If you have something called Trust, Faith and a LOT of patience and are willing to go all the way .. yes you can think about long distance, i just came out.. i am still trying to get out of one .. its not easy, the frustation at times, the urge to be with your loved ones, to share those special moments or golden times ... you need to be ready to miss all that .... but yes .. every relationship starts off with a meaning.. or a future ... go ahead .. make your decesions together ... i have never had one myself .. but after i met this gurl in bahrain ... we fell for each other .. knowing the fact that she had to go back to oman and me come back to Qatar, we decided to try it out .. over a period of time .. we loved each other like crazy .. endless calls .. mails .. sms .. i mean everything .. but the passion was missing ... all my relationships and this one .. i have realised that the Power of Touch is whaayyy too much, the urge to hold her hand or just look at her in front of you when you want to .. was not there ... those hugs n kisses .. or just simply holding hands and walking ... those small little factors ... was not there .... and then you end up in frustations why .... and it really hits you hard .... i was supposed to go n meet her for a week but due to RP issues i couldnt get Visa, and she was all set to come here n see me, but i just couldnt handle the part of moving on and the heights of frustation was just killing me ... i just ended things with her ... i am in a much better state now ... but ... she still cant get over the fact that i couldnt handle the distance or the frustations ... though i would say she is one of the most patient women i have ever met ..... but then ... its all in your heart ... and plus ..99.9% of my friends told me it aint gonna happen ... hurt me the most ... i did not have any support from anyone to make or go ahead with this ...

Did anyone go thru this ? going thru a LDR ? All Salutes to you and wish you guys the best .... you really have it in you !!! but if you know what you want in the end ..... dont let go .... i do get upset over my decesion but i know myself .. m not strong enough .....

By azilana7037• 10 Apr 2007 19:32
azilana7037

I always give the benefit of the doubt...apologies accepted...

"RESPECT BEGETS RESPECT"

By Gypsy• 10 Apr 2007 19:15
Gypsy

TO guys who sound just like your alter ego. No worries. :D

By anonymous• 10 Apr 2007 19:13
anonymous

BTW, Who are Cutesrk & Sputnik??

By Gypsy• 10 Apr 2007 19:05
Gypsy

:D...Don't suppose you work with Cutesrk or Sputnik? No prob Silver Spear.

By anonymous• 10 Apr 2007 19:02
anonymous

Ok guys, here it goes

I discovered today that someone has been using my account for last couple of days. Well I work in a company where sometimes QL accounts just get mixed up by one another, U suddenly just see yourself posting in another person's username... It seems that this happened to me now and someone in my company is ENJOYING himslef with my Username...

I usually do not comment it that outrageous way.

I am sorry for any inconvenience, but that was not me at all...

By Gypsy• 10 Apr 2007 18:47
Gypsy

So that's why you are trying to date a Western girl?

By anonymous• 10 Apr 2007 17:52
anonymous

I thnk this sort of crap shud not be encouraged at all Defeats the purpose of institution of marriage

By kami• 10 Apr 2007 17:43
kami

to wait for a girl who loves me but has left me for the time being i think i will not wait i will jus move on with my life and see what it turns out to be at the end. one thing i will tell you do not think too much abt this one jus keep your self with busy. you only think your lonly coz i think your not able to keep your self busy much so my advice keep your self busy n abt this guy let time decide i think that will be a much better option

By azilana7037• 10 Apr 2007 17:00
azilana7037

The same question...

I'm very much in love with my guy and I know he too, with me. That's why I'm willing to wait. But when loneliness sets in, it makes me think.

My question is an open-ended one. It's not a question about my LDR but to all LDRs that exist.

"RESPECT BEGETS RESPECT"

By kami• 10 Apr 2007 16:37
kami

hi mate i say there is no use holding on to past move on with this life do not wait for some who has left you and followed his heart if he or she would have loved you at the first place the way you loved him or her he or she would have never deserted you. i personaly feel those who love me will never leave my side no matter what i do n those who leave my side never loved me so there is no need for me to cribble over those ppl who left me. you kno azalana there are going to be ppl here plenty with there story n there part of the result i tell you something it is you who have to decide what you want to do coz you kno better for yourself dont let other tell you what to do see what is good for you n see what is you heart wants for your self if your hearrt says that stick with him even though he has left you n wait for him then do it n if you feel there is no use wating for him n move on with your life then do it jus be happy coz this is what we all want at the end of the day to be happy n stay happy

By ooo• 9 Apr 2007 22:07
ooo

Nobody can answer your question, it’s up to you two to make it work. I had two LDR experiences in my life one bad and one very good. Would the bad one have worked had we been together? I’d say no! So who knows?

By azilana7037• 9 Apr 2007 21:38
azilana7037

for about a couple of months now.

I'm going through a phase wherein I feel I'm in a limbo. 'Don't know whether to hang on to the relationship and hope for the best to happen OR just let go and move on with my life.

At a glance, the latter is an option one might take, it's an easy way out. But is it? Logic say's yes but something inside tell's it aint. Maybe because the separation was a consequence of something that happened which has nothing to do with us. One has to leave and the other has to stay, just like that...believe me, it was something I wouldn't want to experience again.

If I hold on, what assurance do one has that the other partner will come back? Or is he/she staying faithful to you and not seeing anyone else. Distance between partners makes them lose the intimacy that makes a relationship works. So tell me...

Long distance relationship, does it really work?

By junarc2003• 9 Apr 2007 21:11
Rating: 4/5
junarc2003

if you like eachother as much as you think that you do then the relationship will work all it needs is commitment and if you both agree to this then you can climb any mountain

"Of likes and dislikes, there should be no disputing... Live and let live!"

By kami• 9 Apr 2007 17:59
kami

some ppl here have talk abt getting laid n stuff but ppl come on dont talk like a loon who is hungry for lust n stuff i mean a realtionship is mre then getting laid n stuff it is feeling a sense of belongingness.

By kami• 9 Apr 2007 17:56
kami

man both the relation is realy hard to work out as they both need patience and especialy this online relation ship is realy realy very very hard to maintain. what i feel is u only stay with ur online girl till the time you dont have ne realy girl in your life as soon as you get a real girl in ur life u will slowly n steadly loose interst in ur online girl n will start making move toward the girl in ur life i mean in ur real life not virtual life and i think this reaction is very much natural

By King Edshel• 9 Apr 2007 14:31
King Edshel

For my online girlfriend she is so upset and sometimes get mad at me because she believes that all of this unreal. She told me that I can understand and feel what are you talking about and the other things that you don't say but i can feel. But I want to feel you, touch you and know that you would be there for me always. See, I'm now in trouble and i had a fight with my dad, but you were not there to do something.

Actually ... I can't blame her, she is right in this one.

By kofe• 9 Apr 2007 12:58
kofe

LDR can work if its a temporary thing and there are plans in motion to unite permanently. My marriage is the result of an LDR. We had dated in person for several months and then i switched jobs to come to Qatar, we kept in touch via email and messenger. When it became apparent that our feelings were much deeper then just bf/gf I flew her to Qatar for "vacation" proposed to her, flew to korea, married her, and then flew her back to Qatar to live with me.. whew~!

By r7• 9 Apr 2007 11:09
r7

I guess so Gypsy !!! But I always think if its meant to happen it could happen anywhere even if tht means here in Doha !!

By Gypsy• 9 Apr 2007 11:01
Gypsy

I'm not sure if I believe in "meant" to be together. I think there are lots of people that we are "meant" to be with.

By Gypsy• 9 Apr 2007 10:51
Gypsy

I think Doha has a lot to do with it, I think it's harder to meet genuine people here. Some people get lucky, but it's really really hard.

By anonymous• 9 Apr 2007 10:48
anonymous

Then its not an LDR its a penpal.

By r7• 9 Apr 2007 10:38
r7

I personally don't think Doha has anything to do with it... It all depends on the kind of person ur looking out for or u meet... Im sure not everyone here is not out looking to get L*#d, anyway I guess its jus the fact tht most of us have had more bad experiences than the good 1's ....

By cjpdad27• 9 Apr 2007 09:51
cjpdad27

I will have to take your word on Doha Gypsy. I haven't given it a try. I don't see it happening anyway.

By anonymous• 9 Apr 2007 09:50
anonymous

LDRs are an illusion, I mean if you are in one and you are intimate only once every 6 months or so, I don't quite see what the point is. After all if you put the effort in you could have a one night stand more often than that.

But the really big question is where is it going, If like I say one of you has moved to say.. Doha and you left your partner behind in England that is a different story. After all you had a relationship before you moved and this is just a temporary break due to circumstances.

If on the other hand you enter into the relationship knowing it will be an LDR and maybe will be that way for a while, well then thats just silly and I would wager either one or both the people involved in the relationship have issues about their own securities. As I say look closer to home.

Plus it is usually the male hlaf of the relationship who be be the most controlling of the two in the LDR while all the while he will probably be the one activly searching for another partner, while the female half will not activly search out another partner but will inevitably end up with someone as they crave companionship, whislt we crave one thing only.

By Gypsy• 9 Apr 2007 09:44
Gypsy

Especially in Doha, where chatting on QL is a hell of a lot less frustrating and depressing then trying to date.

By cjpdad27• 9 Apr 2007 09:42
cjpdad27

Not being in a relationship at all seems to be working. ;-) QL is easier on the heartache. LOL

By r7• 9 Apr 2007 09:38
r7

U should b named Genie, Any post i read ur there .... Quick draw Mc Graw .... Im so bored... im just dying to get out of here.... BOOOOORRRRRRRRREEEEEEDDDDDDDDDDDD

By Gypsy• 9 Apr 2007 09:33
Gypsy

Or not being in a relationship at all and not wanting to be and wasting all your time on QL. :D

By r7• 9 Apr 2007 09:29
Rating: 2/5
r7

To each his own is all i can say ... Everyone has different experiences and views on whats the best way to live... Its like i said earlier, whatver keeps a person happy is what they should follow whether that means being single or dating a number of ppl or being in a LDR or spending all day on QL !!!!! :)

By Paul R• 9 Apr 2007 09:13
Paul R

A man dies and goes to Heaven. He gets to meet GOD and asks GOD if he can ask him a few questions.

"Sure," GOD says, "Go right ahead".

"OK," the man says. "Why did you make women so pretty?"

GOD says, "So you would like them."

"OK," the guy says. "But how come you made them so beautiful?"

"So you would LOVE them", GOD replies.

The man ponders a moment and then asks, "But why did you make them such airheads?"

GOD says, "So they would love you!"

By Gypsy• 9 Apr 2007 09:09
Gypsy

Well I think the illusion of one beats the hell out of a lot of "real" ones here in Doha.

By anonymous• 9 Apr 2007 09:03
anonymous

LDRs as I have said before are basically saying you are too scared to break up (if one of you has moved away) or if you met on the internet or some other strange way that you need to get out more.

LDRs are utterly pointless and waste your time and theirs, you get one chance at this life, in an LDR you are saying you are willing to forego intimacy for what ? a chat every week on skype and a card on your birthday. Friendship ?? Come on, I have enough friends.

If you have met them on the internet, or some other scary place if you are a bloke you will be thinking if I do enough spade work then maybe we could meet and I could get in there.

At University quite a few girls said oh I have a boyfriend already and we are in love etcetc NOT ONE girl who said they had a boyfriend at the start of the first term had the same boyfriend by christmas.

Too much temptation, or just a sudden realisation that there was much much more to life than the guy they met in their home town.

If you only see the person once every six months don't bother. Don't kid yourself that its working out, take a look at yourself and ask yourself what are you doing. You don't have a relationship just the illusion of one.

By DaRuDe• 9 Apr 2007 08:34
DaRuDe

Be Ur self And Know Ur Self i prefer that.

By Gypsy• 9 Apr 2007 08:31
Gypsy

ROFL! Ya who needs a real life boyfriend when I can have tons of cyber ones! Nothing like an active fantasy life. :P

By DaRuDe• 9 Apr 2007 08:25
DaRuDe

nO PROBLEM U CAN COME HERE DAILY AND SEE ME ON QL ;)

By cjpdad27• 9 Apr 2007 08:06
cjpdad27

I have had far too many bad experiences with the LDR. I always come out on the wrong side. I think being married may be different. However, for me (this is only for me) I don't think I could be married and live in seperate places. For me I wouldn't see the point in being married.

By azilana7037• 9 Apr 2007 07:59
azilana7037

It happens...stay cool....

"RESPECT BEGETS RESPECT"

By r7• 9 Apr 2007 07:18
r7

Seems Like all of us r misunderstanding each other... My msg was meant for silverspear !!! Sorry bout tht, I did'nt mean any harm!! SORRYEEEEE

By azilana7037• 8 Apr 2007 22:08
azilana7037

i read how this "being" been disrupting you and Gypsy and the thread I created.

no need to be mean.... :-(

"RESPECT BEGETS RESPECT"

By r7• 8 Apr 2007 21:54
r7

im not getting into these stupid comments by ppl who i dont even know or who im not even addressing so .. Silverspear just chill out....

By azilana7037• 8 Apr 2007 21:45
azilana7037

Paging Qatari...is there a way we can keep out this extra-terrestials???

"RESPECT BEGETS RESPECT"

By r7• 8 Apr 2007 21:05
r7

Im not proud ... Im just Happy... and i dont really think its any of ur business.... Mr. Silve spoon or spear ... or whatever u r

By azilana7037• 8 Apr 2007 20:26
Rating: 2/5
azilana7037

The most challenging aspect of a long distance relationship is maintaining the feeling of simply being part of one another’s lives. Couples that see one another only once a week or once a month often can feel disconnected from their partner. This disconnection can lead to an erosion of intimacy.

Think of intimacy as requiring two components:

1) the sharing of emotions, and

2) inter-relatedness of daily activities.

Couples in long distance relationships (LDRs) usually do a great job of sharing the emotions that they have for one another. But the second part of the equation, “interrelatedness” requires a great deal of effort.

Interrelatedness means being somehow involved in your partner’s, often mundane, day-to-day activities, adventures, struggles, and accomplishments. Geographically close couples do this almost unconsciously as they chat about little events that are upcoming or recently past. These little events seem relevant when discussed right away, but they lose their interest and excitement when discussed in retrospect. For example, “Guess what happened to me at the grocery store?” would be a comment that geographically close couples would share later that night. Although the content may seem trivial, the unconscious connection formed between partners with each little interaction, such as this, forms the foundation of intimacy. But the same couple, placed in a long distance relationship, would likely not think to discuss this little adventure at the grocery store or would find it has lost it’s interest when brought up several days after the fact.

Being emotionally honest and open with your partner is certainly an important component of any romance. Some even suggest that those in LDRs may share their loving feelings more openly than those in geographically close relationships. Perhaps the uncertainty inherent in the separation makes us a little more in need of explicit confirmation of how our partner feels and how the relationship stands. Yet letter after letter of deep emotional revelations can still leave one feeling distant.

"RESPECT BEGETS RESPECT"

By King Edshel• 8 Apr 2007 20:10
King Edshel

Sometimes being honest with someone can be a problem. Some people like other people telling them lies because they can't live in the world of reality. If told someone about something bad he is doing, come on .. when did i did such a thing? What are you talking about? If you told someone the truth about something [especially if it was a personal issue], you will hear nothing good. Loving someone sometimes will force you to tell the truth to that person, especially if he/she was a friend. If you see someone walking a path which looks familiar to you [you might been walking that path before], then you should take you responsibility as a true friend and warn him/her and tell them honestly what do you think.

I don't know, but i don't feel that there is much of depth in the relations these days. The guy is seeking a nice girl to see his friends what kind of girls he can hang out with. The girl is looking for a guy who can take her o different restaurants and buy her whatever she wants. There is no more relations for the right purpose and the prospective of the relation.

Cherishing the real spirit of the relations is something that we should do know to refresh the relation and know where are we going with this relation. To where it would lead at the end.

Best Reagards

By kami• 8 Apr 2007 20:09
kami

hey gypsy it seems ur realy active on this site. i am new on this site n i am getting realy addicted to this site i feel this one of the bet site i have come across

By r7• 8 Apr 2007 20:07
Rating: 4/5
r7

Thts true... In the end its always best to do what u think keeps u happy whether tht means being single or in a relationship or whatever else makes u smile ... The best way to feel free is to just listen to some good music or just drivvvvvveeeeeeeeeeeee like crazy which is my personal stress reliever.. except for the crappy traffic at times... It does get lonely though at times it really is frustrating .... im really involved with my work as welll... but then u need somethng to keep u smilin at the end of the day ......................

By kami• 8 Apr 2007 20:03
kami

i enterd LDR with out thinking much it wa realy a good experience coz the girl cared for me a lot n she loved me a lot she made me feel that ia m the best in this world but with joy n happiness here where too much of pain attach with this thing n which was not good for both of us

By Gypsy• 8 Apr 2007 20:00
Gypsy

Ya kami, I agree. You never want to enter an LDR without really thinking about it long and hard.

By kami• 8 Apr 2007 19:58
kami

i think what u said here is true some are lucky n some are unlucky but frm what ihave learned frm this relationship i feel that sometime it is worth giving LDR a shot but not always i must add

By Gypsy• 8 Apr 2007 19:56
Gypsy

Who knows r7 who knows. For every person who says that LDR's don't work, there is another one who says they do. For every person that says you can't find a decent relationship in Doha there is someone who does. ;) I don't think anyone has the answers and love happens when love happens.

By r7• 8 Apr 2007 19:55
r7

what the hell are u talkn about silver spear .... man u sound so lost ...

By kami• 8 Apr 2007 19:54
Rating: 2/5
kami

i have been in one long distance relationship n frankly speaking it is very tiresome n it need lot of patience n sometime it becomes very iritating n become very hard to handel n the only way to escape is not to talk with ur love for quite a sometime my story is quite long n there is no time for explanation all i can say on this topic is that it is jus not possible n if u realy hell bent on making it work then try meeting ur gf or bf as much as posible this way things will be more easy which in my case was not possible

By r7• 8 Apr 2007 19:50
r7

I am so sure thts not true .... How much ever self involved any 1 is once they r given tht certain amount of attention luv n care i dont really think U would b able to keep away ... n with u Gypsy im sure it'll b one good ROLLERCOASTER OF A REALTIONSHIP >...... ONly judging by what ive read so far :)

By Gypsy• 8 Apr 2007 19:49
Gypsy

No prob. :D Not everyone has a big mouth like me. Good luck. :D

By r7• 8 Apr 2007 19:47
r7

its weird to chat around here ... I dont really like every 1 readn my stuff.... Sorry GYpsy !!! Ur really nice to talk 2 !!! Always good to put a smile on my face ..... thanks

By Gypsy• 8 Apr 2007 19:46
Gypsy

Well I think being in Love is only a small part of making an LDR work. I think there are lots of people out there we can fall in love with, but some people have the attitude that they need to be with the person 24/7 to stay faithful, others don't need that. I can do either/or myself. The stage of my life I'm in now I actually prefer an LDR. I like seeing my bf once ever couple of weeks, simply cause my job was so taxing here (as is evident from how much time I spend on QL :D).

I don't know, I'm doubtful about relationships here in general. I haven't seen many work out, because people here seem to wrapped up in themselves to let another person in, and I am no different.

By King Edshel• 8 Apr 2007 19:42
Rating: 2/5
King Edshel

Handling long distance is kind of hard. I've been talking to a friend from Romania and it is been like 6 months so far. It was kinda of hard to maintain this relation for both of us. There is nothing easy when it comes to the relations between people. The seed of the relation should be planted with the love and care of both of the relation sides to grow up and flourish.

It is the responsibility of both of them to maintain this relation and make it work. It does not work sometimes or most of the times because of the huge gab and difference between the cultures, opinions, common things and ideas in addition to a lot of things. If we got a lot in common, then we should not let the small things blow up this relation. We can work on those small things and let it go. If you are right and I'm right, then who is wrong? If we both are right, so on what are we arguing?

Someone says, love is not about saying I love you to a nice lady. Everyone can say that. Love is about loving the other one that you love mistakes or the small things that they do and you might argue with them because of it. As you can see, loving someone is not that easy. Maintaining the relation is even harder, but nothing is impossible if both of the relation's parts want this relation really to work.

Best Regards

By Gypsy• 8 Apr 2007 19:42
Gypsy

R7, where did you meet your girl? Did you meet her here?

By Gypsy• 8 Apr 2007 19:41
Gypsy

Actually you can leave Silver Spear, We were having a friendly convo related to the topic of the forum. You are just being a sleazy jerk.

By r7• 8 Apr 2007 19:39
r7

oh ok cool !!!! Hey Silver - Spear ur self outta here.... Y u buggin ppl tht are'nt even talkn to ya...

By Gypsy• 8 Apr 2007 19:38
Gypsy

Ya, well I'm on a no a**hole diet, so I guess we have nothing further to discuss.

By Gypsy• 8 Apr 2007 19:36
Gypsy

Actually my friend and I were discussing his mustang and how long he's been here, and his girlfriend,etc. I don't remember addressing you at all.

By Gypsy• 8 Apr 2007 19:34
Gypsy

105 actually, and I weigh 500 lbs, bugger off. :P

By Gypsy• 8 Apr 2007 19:33
Gypsy

SilverSpear, please send this to my inbox so I can properly ignore you and you can stop bothering other people with this silly crap.

R7, No, I was referring to Silverspear. ;)

By r7• 8 Apr 2007 19:32
r7

Was I hinting tht i want to meet ???!!!

By Gypsy• 8 Apr 2007 19:30
Gypsy

Oh ya you said you got a Mustang, congrats! That's my Dad's and my brothers dream car too. That's pretty cool.

By Gypsy• 8 Apr 2007 19:28
Gypsy

I've been in Doha for ages and not interested in meeting new people.

By r7• 8 Apr 2007 19:28
r7

hehehe sorry... Yeah well I got here when i was like 5 or so .... I guess its home now .. Ur lucky u werent here back then tht time City centre was the beach :) heehee... things have changed a lot since then ... I only recently fullfilled a life long dream of gettin a mustang which i did last week... Thts y ive been on a high since Wednesday :P

By Gypsy• 8 Apr 2007 19:24
Gypsy

LOL. Ok, well then the 5 years makes much more sense now. I think you said you had been in Doha for 20 years or something. I was like Damn Dude! Making me feel old!

By r7• 8 Apr 2007 19:23
r7

What i wouldnt give to b 20 ... U must b mistaken m 25... HOpefully ill make it to 30

By Gypsy• 8 Apr 2007 19:19
Gypsy

I know you were just kidding. I thought I read in another thread that you were 20. That's really young to be in a relationship for 5 years. Good job.

By r7• 8 Apr 2007 19:18
r7

heehee... Im just kiddn ... LDR Man it sucks... now i have a nice new car n no one to drive with me ... other than my silly buddies... HOPEFULLY THEY ARE'NT REadin THIS :P

By Gypsy• 8 Apr 2007 19:11
Gypsy

LOL R7! What happened to the LDr Girl! ROFL. Sure line up behind Sputnik. :P

By r7• 8 Apr 2007 19:06
r7

hehehe yeah i guess.... U sound really cool n nice.. M sure there must b along lineup for u :P is there some where i can sign up

By Gypsy• 8 Apr 2007 18:48
Gypsy

Good for you r7. :D I think it's the kind of person you are. I can handle an LDR, I just haven't met a guy who can...for that matter I've yet to meet a guy here who can handle any kind of relationship. :D

By r7• 8 Apr 2007 18:22
Rating: 4/5
r7

I guess it just depends on person 2 person ... I am in a LDR and v r doing ok ... its been 5 yrs and we see each other like once in 6 months or less at times... If u have faith, Trust and devotion i guess it can work... But hey u never know what the future holds it could b done n over with in an instant.... IT is really trying at times... but i guess tht can happen if the person was here as well.....

By anonymous• 8 Apr 2007 18:00
anonymous

I thought u already had a bf gypsy..

By Gypsy• 8 Apr 2007 09:59
Rating: 2/5
Gypsy

I don't know. I tried to live here and date a guy in Bahrain. Hardly a long distance relationship, but we couldn't make it work. It just seems that if you aren't seeing each other regularly that the relationship isn't real.

By rfc• 8 Apr 2007 06:29
Rating: 4/5
rfc

i love the topic that you have, i am involved in LDR and i love to say that it works for us, just han19 says on the start of this thread, MORE TRANSPARENCY to have it you must have a constant communication, and yeah coz of the modern technologies that are available of todays world, it helps a lot.

YEAH, temptations is around but its up to you to pick it up, & suffer the consequences later....

in my LDR case we are so transparent. before & after worked we are seeing,chatting each other...& while in duty talking each other,updating everyday life whats going on,asking permission to go there or to join the party,mall/bar hopping or whatever...its just a matter of TRANSPARENCY guys...even if you are in a skin to skin relationship, if you dont have this in your relationship it will be a waste...

By anonymous• 7 Apr 2007 22:16
Rating: 3/5
anonymous

It all depends on element of love and bonding that a person develops over time with the other party.. Like recently a female from the US met a pakistani over the web and believe it they got married and the female converted to Islam ... The world is small..... So here the LDR clicked despite the distance and space.. Whats important is the ability to comprehend and adjust to the other partners interests and for that trust is equally essential.....

By han19• 7 Apr 2007 19:59
han19

what you say is true but such fears are not unknown in marriages too or in geographically close relations.

how far does one go on fearing?

like sputnik said, trust in an integral part of any relationship.

temptations are always there....but do we give in to temptations in our everyday life.

we do control whatever kind of temptation in shoved our way, be it in any area of life.

it all depends on the individual perception........some are pretty cool where their relationship is concerned......whereas some are overly hyper about their relationship.

some work and some dont. is there a statistic to define which individual had it the best?

a lot has to do with just going with the flow and, like it has been repeatedly been told, to let your love free and if they are yours they return back to you.....well thats life.

happy heart

drive safe because someone is waiting for you at home

By e46M3• 7 Apr 2007 19:57
e46M3

Believe me those in skin-to-skin relationships aren't faring a whole lot better.

By King Edshel• 7 Apr 2007 19:56
King Edshel

It is really hard to find here any sort of relationships that will work. Even your country people here, it seems that when we leave to a different country it becomes war there. No one will help you or even think of it.

I'm not saying all of them, but for some countries it go like that. Everyone see the other an enemy, if he/she helps him/her then it means start thinking properly. This guy will replace you here and you would get kicked out. It might be true that some people are like the snakes, you help them and what you get in the end is a very hard bite that turns your heart into black. When you got bitten by someone that you trust so much, it is hard after that to trust anyone.

It is very sad to see other people in need and you can't help them because you can't trust them. This is not an excuse, always help the other people while you can. No one is asking you to trust them, give everyone the level of trust that you see it is enough for this person. Our trust can't be the same for all people. That is why you can tell someone about your work problems, but not your family problems. You can tell someone about your personal problems, but not you financial problems.

Long distance relationships are like any other relations, it does work sometimes as well as fails in the others. Being honest with other people, someone that they can trust is the key to the relation. You can't tell lies because you are so faraway and this person will not see you. Before you be honest with people, you should be honest with yourself.

It is amazing how do some people go for such relationships, wasting their time. I don't mean that all of them are a waste of time, but when you come to ask someone what are you doing and you get the answer: I was just bored, just for fun, passing the time, nothing better to do. When you got such answers, you come to know that this person is wasting his/her time.

There should be more than that behind the concept of chatting. Wasting your time chatting while you know that there is nothing in the end? It is a very big subject and i did not cover anything of it. Wish to continue that later.

Best Regards

By azilana7037• 7 Apr 2007 19:45
Rating: 2/5
azilana7037

A common worry among couples in long distance relationships is that their partner (or they themselves) will have an affair while they’re separated. Common sense suggests that because partners can’t keep an eye on one another they might be more prone to wander.

It seems that the risk of having an affair is related more to the quality of the relationship between the couple, and the personalities involved, than on mere opportunity.

Now for the bad news: those in long distance relationships worry much more about affairs than those in geographically close relationships.

"RESPECT BEGETS RESPECT"

By Gypsy• 7 Apr 2007 18:15
Rating: 5/5
Gypsy

Relationships here for expats are a disaster even when you are in the same country. It makes it near impossible if you are in an LDR. Whichever you choose it's more than likely going to end in heartache.

By anonymous• 7 Apr 2007 17:11
Rating: 5/5
anonymous

Some might be in for ever so you have to compromise, make the best of it and all that. So its not what you normally do but when in Rome

By anonymous• 7 Apr 2007 17:09
anonymous

Desperation shud not allow to grip ur mind.... Majority of the prison inmates behave irrationally as such and they form lesbian and jomosexual relationships which is happening in the US and arnd the world..

By anonymous• 7 Apr 2007 17:03
Rating: 2/5
anonymous

I always trust my girlfriends but at the end of the day you have NO idea what they are upto just what they tell you. Put it this way temptation comes your way what to do, and your partner will have the same temptations.

Its just a pain and so pointless, i can imagine people might try it coming here but then if you really tried you could find someone here

By anonymous• 7 Apr 2007 16:56
Rating: 4/5
anonymous

they only work if one of you is going to be moving soon to be with the other one, ie short term while one moves to qatar and the other stays behind for a few months to sort things out.

Otherwise you are basically saying you are so desperate for a relationship that you are willing to only see each other a few times a year.

Whats the point

By anonymous• 7 Apr 2007 16:44
anonymous

So u think so pal? In my opinion ,TRUST Makes a huge difference in any relationship and in todays age the knowledge from the media world and the way people react to that knowledge equally makes a huge difference.....

Luks like aviduser u take life really smoothly.....

By anonymous• 7 Apr 2007 16:39
anonymous

By anonymous• 7 Apr 2007 16:06
Rating: 4/5
anonymous

JuJJust like in any other relationship, Trust is the one big thing. LDR is no different from any other relationship. It all depends on Love & Trust which is a very complicated thing whether viewed from the male's or females perspective....

By han19• 7 Apr 2007 15:49
Rating: 5/5
han19

An LDR is very complex...like every other relationship, it needs to be nurtured too and a bit more than usual, i would say.

Does it work.....yes very much,, if the couple wants it to work.

simple things needs to be taken care of in an LDR, more communication, contact, more transperancy, avoiding doing things that the partner may nt like or dissapprove of and just to remember why the two are together in the first place.

I always believe that if there is something you woundt like your partner doing then you need to make sure you dont do it yourself. you cannot go ahead and live life the way you please but expect your partner to abide to certain way of life just to keep you happy and free from stress.

i have known couples in LDR where one of the two is very happy doing all things the other is not comfortable with, and yet the same privilege doesnt extend to the partner...if the partner did it, then there was hell to pay.

having said this, sometimes LDR do make the couple realise that they are probably not suited for one another. so its best to part ways.

happy heart

drive safe because someone is waiting for you at home

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