Mediocrity – how it feels.
Have always been categorized as good – a good student/wife…or whatever roles I play. I do have a number of trophies in various disciplines, which gives me satisfaction that I did better than others. But I never stood FIRST (Overall). When I reflect back I know now what pieces were missing to excel. And it was never about ‘Hard work’ but always about ‘Right Effort’.
Why is it that I never have the wisdom at the moment? What does is takes to excel? Or is it even important? Everybody loves me for whatever I am so why this zeal to excel. Anybody felt the same??
Starseed and all. I will give it a thought. I have read all (many times)and thank you.
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If you never did, you should. These things are fun, and fun is good. - Dr Seuss
When you have the idea that you are 'mediocre', then are it. Believing is seeing. I like the way Scarlett puts it though. Why excel at one thing (for your own ego) and have people criticize you about other things?
As I said previously you can become your own champion, in your own mind and heart.. These are all just words/labels.. I can attach a $1000 label on an item that is worth $100, but unless the observer (buyer) knows the truth, it will be 'bought'...
Mom_me, why are you putting yourself down so much? Just be you, and your own unique light will shine thru, and you will find people asking "What is different about you these days?"...
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The anxious student asked the Zen master how long to enlightenment. The Zen Master answered a long time, at least 10 years. The student said, "Well I will work twice as hard." The Zen master said, "Then it will take 20 years." "No!" said the committed student, "I will work three times as hard." "Well then," said the Zen master, "it will take 30 years."
Do you need to work at being spiritual? No. You already are spiritual. Do you need to work at being human? No. That’s just who you are.
The spiritual path doesn’t require us to get anything. It’s a process of opening to new dimensions of who we already are. It’s a process of awakening to our own truth. It’s a process of allowing ourselves to be authentic.
"It is not by your actions that you will be saved, but by your being." - Meister Eckhart
"People ask what must they become to be loving. The answer is ‘nothing.’ It is a process of letting go of what you thought you had become and allowing your true nature to float to the surface naturally." - Stephen Levine
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If you never did, you should. These things are fun, and fun is good. - Dr Seuss
throw in a a bit of being weird and you have the perfect combination, mom..
That's what I feel - A jack of all trades, master of none. But I am quite satisfied reading all the post and concluded that it is okay to be a mediocre.
mediocrity...isn't a bad thing...
I'd rather see someone who is well rounded in all aspects of life, than someone who can only perform one thing well. The person who is well rounded will succeed much further in life, both socially and economically. Too many people have focused solely on achieving one goal..usually that of the good grades..but get them in a one to one situation and they can't make a complete sentence, much less have a good bedside manner (doctors are notorious for this! which is why some of them make much better researchers than working with the public).
So...mom_me...be happy with you are are now...don't look back unless it to remember those good times or learn from the bad.
Heehe I was actually thinking the same thing alexa...I also don't care one bit if others are better than I am...Actually I used to let my brother win at tennis just so that he'd feel better about himself. haha
...achievement for me is more people/relationship based than task/skill based...I am much more concerned with success in friendships than I am about success with career or tasks assigned to me. Lucky for me I've chosen a people-focussed career path..ahhaha
Goodnight.
I agree Alexa. There will always be someone somewhere who will break the previous record.
Sure!
Greeker, I am not here for debates but to understand how other people view suceess as and if it is really that imporatant. So thank you for giving me your views. I will keep adding various outlooks to my own and hopefully that will make me understand and broaden my thinking. Thank you mir and Ksarat.
I was never succesful, in the true form of its word.
I was never the top scorer in my school, college or anywhere else. I was never the best athlete. I was not too good at public speaking. I went to some of the BEST colleges in India, but then barely passed my exams... I repeat, barely passed them.
Looking back, i dont think about what i didnt make out from a situation. I never top scored in my life - but i tried like a madman and there was a certain satisfaction in it. I was never the best athlete, but i was in charge of making posters with all patriotic sportsman stuff to be put up in different parts of school. I was the best at doing that and that made my days. I was never the best debater around, but then i found that people still talked to me. The friends i made then, i keep to this day. And from them, i got the talent to be heard and noted. I went to some of the best colleges in India, but barely passed. I did not study much about my subject and almost flunked (which is much different from my current job profile anyway), but i learned life, from an altogether different perspective.
I always tried to make a positive out of a negative. More often than not, it has worked. And the mistakes i did, i have always carefully noted them down. Sometime, some day, i will find a need for them. Maybe i will tell my child about where i went wrong. Maybe there is someone who would need me to point them in the correct path.
To quote you...
"Why is it that I never have the wisdom at the moment?"
My answer would be... so that you can learn by trial and error. So that you can guide another person facing the same predicament. So that you can understand that life is not all about successes alone. So that you can take pride in being who you are despite doing the mistakes you did. So that you can think about it later and ruminate, like you and me are doing right now...
{sorry for the long rant. I just typed it as i was thinking. I aint gonna edit it. What i said here remains for eternity. This is just my thought. No debates about it please. This is just my mind, thats all}
I generally categorize success into two major sects :
one being team success - here focus is more on time
second being individual success - here focus is on skills.
If you take the second I would say a successful and visionary mentor is desperately required. Only he can mould one after chipping the bad points into a perfect specimen.
While it is true to an extent that people succeed on their own legs...lets not forget the fact that at times and certain points in life, one always needs to always ask and be open for suggestions if in a fix or a cross-roads of life from people like friends or parents, cos parents cetainly dont want their children to struggles in their life as they have done ... so keep your ears open cos maybe there could always be something that has just that extra bit that could helpyou out...you never know...
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" Live Life To The Fullest ! Enjoy Yourself "
Many US universities although have mentors to guide but it all falls upon the individual to pick himself up....
Successful people are very good in one art....Like Roger federer or Specialists in one field..... regardless of the number of mistakes....
When things have to change the individual has to change first....
Are you talking about Role Models..or rather I should say follow some tracks...
Well I must say Momme...I dont somehow approve of that...cos always remember, there would be a 100 ways to do a project, but it is at the end YOU who has to pick the track, and trust me it works out whenever it is your choice...
YOu may not be wrong, you fall in the process, but then you learn from them and dont do that next time and this track always makes you a better individual...rather than doing something the same way some other person has done it...
If you have the heart and mind to what you want to succeed, and if you have that interest and determination, then trust me you would go to any extent to succeed and ofcourse dont forget planning...
With these things you dont normally fail, if you do fail inspiste of this, then learn to take heart from it and proceed further...
what do you think Momme...?
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" Live Life To The Fullest ! Enjoy Yourself "
Mir83, I have always felt the right guidance from a sensible and successful person will lead to the right path. No matter how persistent is one with efforts they could be far from goal.
Acceptance+Attitude+Efforts with a right direction + Perseverance = Takes one to his destination...
I think these are some good definations to reflect upon.
Success to me is knowing that you are where you are supposed to be.
Success is when the things you spend most of your time doing lines up with what you value.
Success is when you can still smile on the way to work in the morning, even whilst dodging large white vehicles.
Dont worry, be Happy
Sorry, have to leave. Bye.
Success to me is being 100% the Numero Uno. When people start taking me as a standard to measure themselves.
What is success to you?
Yes, there can be no yardstick to measure success. Thank you Miss and Paul.
Mom_me, ----------according to me, Do your level best. You are first or last, its not determined by you.
Is anyone really ''the best''?? What constitutes being the best? And who are some of these people you are comparing yourself to? What would you like to be better at?
The other night I went to a reading at CNA and the writer said that the best books are not necessarily the ones you see on the shelves in the bookstore...sometimes the best books are lying in a waste paper basket somewhere...we just don't get to read them because the writer wasn't bold enough to carry on or believe in themselves...
That is paraphrased, but she said something cool like that.... :)
I've been told that some times our parenting is related to our need to compare ourselves...I don't agree with this whole thing in america going on in schools where ''everyone is a winner'' etc etc...Kids perhaps just need to learn how to lose well, and still believe in themselves..
Thank you Starseed. May be your reply about reliving those moments and going back to those trophies have an answer. I will do that.
I will still need to know 'What does it take to be a '100%' not good but the 'BEST'. What kind of passion these people have who are at the top. When I say to myself it may be destiny/opportunity/luck sounds like excuse to me.
Thank you canarybird, Alien and Alexa.
it is to do with you alone.. One of the problems with this world is that we are forever comparing ourselves to others. It's good in a sense, keeps us honed, toned and sharp (competitiveness can be healthy), yet when our self-worth is at stake, and we question the not-so-good feeling within, that's when we need to take a step back and ask: Am I doing this for me, or someone/thing else?
All those trophies you have... go to each one, reflect back to each one of those times, and do a 're-think'. Re-experience the feeling of getting to that place, whether it be 1st, 2nd, 3rd or 10th. Re-feel the feeling of being a champion, and you may realise that you ARE a champion, knowing it within is okay. The world needn't know about it - it usually doesnt care anyway.
Go within, or go without...
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If you never did, you should. These things are fun, and fun is good. - Dr Seuss
Trophy is the satisfaction your inner-self gives you and you always stand upright even though you lose sometimes.
Every effort doesn’t bring fruits to your wishes but moving ahead doing best efforts is really a big deal.
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You see what you do is your best - it might not be seen like that in the light of others - but you have self esteem so you know you are and how good you are.
Being the first or even being the last has its advantages. If you never win a prize or a trophy so what as long as you are satisfied what you reach and you can never measure your success against others. Be happy.
I may be swimming along the stream but my heart yearns to swim upstream.
a lil bit of everything is required in life not too much not too little just the right amt will do..winks
life's too short so make the most of it, you only live but once.......
Thank you for your feedback Spicemom. I thought my post will sink into oblivion. Philosphy is not everybody's liking.
i would love to be the best but if i am not and i know i have put in all my effort then at least i know i gave it my all and that was my best.......this is MHO
life's too short so make the most of it, you only live but once.......