Tigasin , ... I need investment advice

China Syndrome
By China Syndrome

If you had purchased £1000 of Northern Rock shares one year ago it would now be worth £4.95.

With HBOS, earlier this week your £1000 would have been worth £16.50.

£1000 invested in XL Leisure would now be worth less than £5.

But if you bought £1000 worth of beer one year ago, drank it all, then took the empty cans to an aluminium re-cycling plant, you would get £214.

So based on the above statistics the best current investment advice is to drink heavily and re-cycle.

Would you agree?

By China Syndrome• 23 Sep 2008 18:17
China Syndrome

hearted enquiry to underline the basics of economy v booze and things get heavy, lost me - don't have a mortgage to start with:-)

I'm off to invest in more beer!!

By Vegas• 23 Sep 2008 17:11
Vegas

You can't teach experience...

By a merry can muslim• 23 Sep 2008 17:04
a merry can muslim

Vegas they could also look to do what Argentina did during their economic crisis from 1999 to 2002.

I heard that the government of Argentina put a temporary moratorium on mortgage payments until their economy stabilized... Why can't America do that??

As Michael Rivero often says, 'The last act of any government is to loot the nation.'

They call it the American dream because you have to be asleep to see it... --George Carlin

By mjamille28• 23 Sep 2008 16:40
mjamille28

yes labda, that's definitely XXXXXXXXXX to infinity and beyond!!!!

By eu61• 23 Sep 2008 16:40
eu61

Live with/from your parents...

... until you can live with/from your children.

(LOL)

War looking for peace,

is like fornication looking for virginity.

By labda06• 23 Sep 2008 16:38
labda06

Yes mjamille, lets say XXXXXXXX x infinity!! :)

It's quite sad actually. An honorable hero of time gone by (China Syndrome) asks a question which actually makes sense, you know beer and all and these goons go to the Red Light District of Troy with it. Really unfortunate. Yes?

------------Virgos dont like chaos, gerrit? ----------

By Vegas• 23 Sep 2008 16:34
Vegas

I call for a one time no penalty no tax withdrawl of 401k monies for direct disbersment into one's primary or

2nd mortgage. I think it would help save the finacials and at the same time people could refinance/reduce their mortgages??? We wouldn't need such a huge bailout either.

What ya think??? Stupid Idea??? I would do this in a minute on my mortgage if my 401K withdrawl was penalty free...

You can't teach experience...

By mjamille28• 23 Sep 2008 16:34
mjamille28

you have definitely summed it all up labda... but i think, it needs a few more X's, what do you think? ;)

By labda06• 23 Sep 2008 16:31
labda06

Put China Syndrome, Tigasin and MagicDragon together and you get an XXXXXXXX rated thread. Trust. :P

Invest in lawyers. There aren't enough of them, and you most certainly will be screwed. Yes? Yes.

------------Virgos dont like chaos, gerrit? ----------

By Tigasin321• 23 Sep 2008 16:23
Tigasin321

I think we are on the same investment page here.

Just call me Tigasin. That's what I'm talking about

By anonymous• 23 Sep 2008 16:22
anonymous

tig, I would not "invest" in women heavier than me. Full stop.

By anonymous• 23 Sep 2008 16:21
anonymous

Good and healthy boy, he is. Invested it all in his country's wombs.

By Tigasin321• 23 Sep 2008 16:21
Tigasin321

Do you mean sex with very heavy women or do you mean heavy amounts of sex? There is a crucial difference here.

As an investment banker and occasional human being, I cannot advise sex with very heavy women. It can cause damage, pain and discomfort. It can also be aesthetically displeasing. On the other hand, heavy amounts of sexual activity is an excellent investment in terms of profitable time spent. It is healthy way to spend your time, improves your mood and overall happiness and also of course, while you are participating in this activity, you are not spending any money (unless you are Salax of course and have to pay for it). So yes, it is an excellent investment.

Just call me Tigasin. That's what I'm talking about

By mjamille28• 23 Sep 2008 16:18
mjamille28

i think Mr. Castro followed the exact same advice, MD...

By Tigasin321• 23 Sep 2008 16:15
Tigasin321

so is smoking heavily. Many people are worried about the calamatious drop in value in their IRAs and other savings and pension accounts. They ask themselves how they are going to get by in old age and how will they support themselves in retiremente.

They worry that their houses will be worth less than their mortgages. They ask people like me how they should plan for the future.

My answer is simple. Don't live too long. Drink huge amounts of alcohol and smoke massive quantities of cigarettes. You won't live very long and therefore you don't need to worry about retirement planning. You should also encourage your spouses and children to do the same. It is responsible and you know it makes sense.

Just call me Tigasin. That's what I'm talking about

By anonymous• 23 Sep 2008 16:15
anonymous

What about heavy s*x while you're alive? Is that also a good investment?

By China Syndrome• 23 Sep 2008 16:12
China Syndrome

I just knew I was on the right track, just needed an experts advice to convince my wife of the logic......

Cheers:-)

By anonymous• 23 Sep 2008 15:25
Rating: 5/5
anonymous

Maybe, but if you do the maths, you can buy beer for 58p at Tescos. £1000 is going to buy you about 1725 cans of beer, and if you get £214 from the recycling agent, you're being paid about 12p per can by the recycler. Somehow I don't find it convincing that you could earn that much from recycling, but I'm willing to try.

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