Todays Funnies

Colt45
By Colt45

A man died and went to heaven. As he stood in front of St. Peter at the
Pearly Gates, he saw a huge wall of clocks behind him.
He asked,'What are all those clocks?'St. Peter answered, 'Those are Lie-Clocks. Everyone on Earth has a Lie-Clock. Every time you lie, the hands on your clock will move.'
'Oh,' said the man, 'whose clock is that?''That's Mother Teresa's.
The hands have never moved, indicating that she never told a lie.''Incredible,' said the man.
'And whose clock is that one?'St. Peter responded, 'That's Mahatma Gandhi's clock. The hands have moved twice, telling us that Gandhi told only two lies in his entire Life.'
'Where's George Bush's clock?' asked the man.'George's clock is in Jesus' office. He's using it as a ceiling fan.'

By anonymous• 26 Aug 2007 10:15
anonymous

Jauntie

I don't drink Sodas. Just Wine, water,coffee and lots of natural fresh Juices that I make with My blender. Of course my beer. beer.

Pope Secola had everyone dazzled and confuse when he walk the hallways of the Vatican. He always was singing the pepsi logo song!

LOL

Cardinal OF QATAR LIVING

By jauntie• 26 Aug 2007 10:08
Rating: 3/5
jauntie

Pope Benedict XVI was not the Cardinal's first pick as Pope. They wanted Cardinal Secola from Brazil. Problem was that they didn't want to deal with the world calling him 'Pope Secola'.

hehehe

By anonymous• 26 Aug 2007 09:53
anonymous

Must be one of many White House internal Joke!

Good one !

Last night I took a confession from one of QL member. Then drums started to roll out of back of my Confession Booth!

After I finish and dismiss my client, I walked to the back of the booth curios and wondering, Why?.

I noticed the drums had label indicating "Rejected by God" with a fine print indicating "Send It back to the owner "Hell does not want nothing to do with It" neither the Purgatory! I left the boot very baffled.....

LOL

Cardinal OF QATAR LIVING

By oamonteiro• 26 Aug 2007 09:46
oamonteiro

not this weekend was busy

how r u buddy how was your weekend

There are three sides to every argument: your side, my side and the right side

By Colt45• 26 Aug 2007 09:43
Colt45

Howdy cowboy? Went for your usual beach outing over the weekend?

By oamonteiro• 26 Aug 2007 09:40
oamonteiro

this is little johny joke

There are three sides to every argument: your side, my side and the right side

By Colt45• 26 Aug 2007 09:39
Colt45

Eddie wanted desperately to have sex with this really cute, really hot girl in his office... But she was dating someone else.

One day Eddie got so frustrated that he went to her and said, "I'll give you $100 if you let me have sex with you..."The girl looked at him, and then said, "NO!"

Eddie said, "I'll be real fast. I'll throw the money on the floor, you bend down and I'll finish by the time you've picked it up."

She thought for a moment and said that she would consult with her boy friend... So she called him and explained the situation.

Her boyfriend says, "Ask him for $300, and pick up the money really fast. He won't even be able to get his pants down." She agreed and accepts the proposal.

Over half an hour goes by and the boyfriend is still waiting for his girlfriend's call. Finally, after 45 minutes the boyfriend calls and asks what happened...?

Still breathing hard, she managed to reply, "The b#%@$*d had all quarters!"

Management lesson: Always consider a business proposition in it's entirety before agreeing to it and getting screwed.

By Colt45• 26 Aug 2007 09:21
Colt45

Isn't QL one BIG funny room... LOL!!!

By jauntie• 26 Aug 2007 08:44
jauntie

hahahahahaha

By anonymous• 26 Aug 2007 08:43
anonymous

Novi, but it made me smile, thanks colt! ;-)

Cheers!

[img_assist|nid=23961|title=|desc=|link=none|align=left|width=135|height=180]

"I find it wholesome to be alone the greater part of time. To be in company, even with the best, is soon wearisome and dissipating. I love to be alone, I never find a companionable solitude"

By novita77• 26 Aug 2007 08:42
novita77

mr.colt ... dont you think you should post this in the funny room? :D

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