Sexual harrasment at my work from an indian, what can i do??? I am European

Westlife,

ITs not like i m n INDIAN and i m supporting..I never mentioned newhere that i m taking sides of either POPI or to her CORDINATOR...Kindly read all my answers..I just said that v shld first see both the sides of the coins and then shld go for any conclusion..I m not the one who listens to only one side..I hope u got my point now..

Now,if i would have been in her(POPI) place, i would have straight away slapped if neone would have done something like this to me..I m n open example at my workplace and at my home..I dont leave anyone who harms me..Even i dont mind grabbing the collars of so called harassing people(specially men).I wish if u would have meet me in person, u would have come to know how strong i m and i have the capacity of taking decision on own inspite of asking everyone...SORRY to u that u missed the chance to meet a person like me...

NOW ITS A REQUEST, THAT MS.POPI MUST HAVE GOT ANY SOLUTION SO FAR NOW, SO PLZZZ DONT EXTEND THE MATTER NOW...OK...i hope its clear to u..

I have learnt from childhood that GOD IS ONE, ALL PEOPLE R EQUAL no matter which nationality they belong to..So dont critisize me by saying i m partial to my own nationality....ppuhhlleasse..i m not like that..

thankzzz

Slap de SH&% out of him de next time he does sumthing like tht in front of everyone and screem out wot exactly he has been doin since de past few months... U r a lady, u certainly dont need dis one job 2 live, u can always get another one. Its better dan workin under sum1 who doesnt know wher his nuts shud stay... Simple

tell him to call me

Soniya....i think hes indian thats y ur trying to support him? just think if it was u instead of Popi?????????????

STOP IT GIRLS

I would advise you to tread very carefully especially if this guy is bootlicking his bosses, but I have some suggestions for you.

1.Tell your Embassy what is going on.

2.If you have a female (preferably Qatari or Arabic) friend in your company, tell her what this guy is doing and ask her if she can help you. The management is likely to respond more positively if they get to hear about this from a local female employee rather than from you.

3.As a last resort, accept this guys invitation to dinner and arrange to meet him at one of the hotel restaurants. Arrange for 2 or 3 (as large and scary as possible) male friends to be in this restaurant but ask them to stay in the background until you have met this guy and sit with him at at a table. Then you tell him you have to go to the bathroom, your male friends should then approach this guy and explain to him very clearly (but quitely) to back off and leave you alone or something rather bad may happen to him. Give it ten minutes before you return to the table, by that time I think he will have left the restaurant and I doubt he will ever bother you again.

Good luck and I hope you can get this a----ole off your back.

Show hes mobile number to the police.

Why dont you go out on a dinner and see what will happend.

It might comes out good relationship and end up with marriage and several kids (of course if you are not married or he is not married)

Who knows :)

Dear Ms. Popi2384,

First i am sad that you are In such a situation.

You have to be firm and understand that you are in a difficult situation.

1) Keep all the necessary proof like sms ,any letters in writing given by this fool.

2) Talk to him and make him understand what situaton he is in.

3) If doesnt ,talk to ur colleages and HR and make them understand ur situation.

4) Talk to ur boss / Report to the authorities and talk to the press( they highlight such work place issues and loss of morale in work place)

Please handle it carefully as ur future is in ur hands.

Anyway we QLERS are with you in ur fight against injustice.

ARE U NOT WITH HER QLERS??????

Hi Poppi,

Have seen a lot of suggestions here, about taking actions to have him charged and so on. Have you thought about what may have made him make such advances towards you, did you for instance misled him about your social life etc... This fellow may not realise that he's causing you such concern, he maybe thinks that you have some feeling even though, you may have sent reply via sms to tell him to back off, some men, and this is maybe a cultural issue as well, some men don't see themselves being put off the scent of a lady, by her simply resisting his advances. Do you see where I am coming from? Anyway before the sun sets on another day, you need to sit this fellow down in the office of a colleague (maybe yours and his supervisor), and tell him bluntly that there is no feeling for him, apart from the time at work, you'll not entertain thoughts of spending time with him, and that if his advances continue, you'll do the following, ie lodge a "formal" process with your employers about being sexually harassed, in writing outlining dates and incidences, to which the company MUST respond under it's obligations to employees within a set period. Failing any action from the outcome of your formal complaint with your company, then you'll be reporting the same incidences of sexual harrassment to the Labour authorities in Qatar, and the Police as well, you should let these comments be heard both to the perpetrator ie your co-ordinator, and your boss, and duly recorded in the companies records. He may receive a warning, but that will depend on the company, don't have any hesitation about his future, many people tend to think they are safe within a company, but this kind of thing is "criminal" and shouldn't be tolerated by any company wanting to keep him on, he should have to show cause why he shouldn't be dismissed if he eventually gets charged formally. Remember this initial meeting is to be a "closed door" meeting, and ask that the boss record the events spoken about, if the man (harasser) is smart, he'll stop and think what he's doing is wrong, if he's not, then he should expect the full extent of the punishment from all levels, ie company to the states laws.

Most important of all, don't show any sign of acceptance, be courteous at work but don't encourage future comments from your coordinator unless they are for purpose of the project/business, ALSO very important don't entertain thoughts of leaving the company, unless you have viable alternatives ie jobs worthy to transfer to.

This must be a typical Indian 'CHAMCHA' (Person who licks the bosses ass to survive). I dont mind some Indian bashing here, because i being a Indian have survived harassment from fellow Indians of this nature. And I dont mind if Malabari or Malayalis are named in this.

Popi, why are you delaying kicking him in the ass despite having SMS evidence ?

Does this bastard have a manager? Talk to this indian first, and if he's not ease back, talk to his boss...explain the situation and say that you are going to report to police! This will be killing!Just do that...Good luck

Its not an easy dilema for you but i would be very careful how you tread here. At the same time , no woman should stand for any nonsense of a sexual nature. I dont know how strong willed you are , but if you are tell him to sling his hook or you will have every person in a uniform on top of him if he comes near you again, and mean it.

Also , confide in any male European who is strong and can tell him to be very careful

LET HIM KNOW QATAR WOULD BE VERY HARD ON HIM IF THESE ALLEGATIONS WERE CONFIRMED. If he knows anything about Qatar ,he will get the message.. If he doesnt then i would say he was a danger..Hope i have helped a little . good luck.

It sounds like you got offended more that he is an Indian!!!

Why do you have to mention ur and his nationality here?

If there is any kind of ill treatment happened, does it have anything to do with your nationality?

You mean to say, if he were an European, yes you would have dated him..huh?

STOP IT GIRLS

BBBBBBbbbbbbeeennssssooonn,

GO and learn how to respect women...I think its not taught in ur country..i m very sorry for this..Bytheway, which medium of english u belong to??

No Email!!! No Ignorasnce!!!

Show the mobile sms conversation to your BOSS, either to yours country Consular...

I beleive, ma'er would Resolve...

Complain against him or stab his shoulder if he touches you.

Popi,

Without being sure about the facts from both sides in this story its difficult to make a judgement. However what seems probable are

1. Either that person ( your co-ordinator) is sick minded

or

2. You are incompetent in your job and trying to cover it up by falsely accusing your supervisor.

I think its not just accusing someone in absentia here and getting sympathy because it always sides the lady in such instances.

If you have saved those sms'es then you could approach his superiors or the labour dept and get it easily solved rather than try and create animosity between communities especially when people in this forum have tried to get to dissect "Indians" to the "Malabari" level.

Smart Europeans could solve it by themselves, without the need for answers from public forums!!

Popi,

Lol...i think ENGLISH is widely spoken language these days..So not only EUROPEANS but others can also speak english..for your kind information and if u can see from my answers (lolzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz) i can read-write and speak english..

plz dear check ur PM...u will get ur answers..i m not rude to neone..their answers were wrong..absolutely wrong..puhhhhllease my dear..

Ziad,

ur comments r always right..i appreciate that..i think other who r replying for this question shld see the pros and cons like how me and u r doing...v know only her(popi)side of story..

Ziad Fahel,

I am really really really sorry that you are thinking like tihs!!!!!!!!!!Believe me the sms are not at all inocent and consist all the relevant information that smdy can clearly call it sexual harrassment!!!!Thank god i kept them all!!

You think i would bother to ask for advice if i like this animal?????????????????????????????????????????what are you saying..??????? why i wolud bother??????????????you really insult me!!!

I mentioned the nationality coz i have no idea whats the rules her.. for nothing else!! even if he was european i would have done the same question believe me!!

and smth else when i first got the job and efter 2 months he clearly told me that he is afraid that i will take his position!!! so who is capable for the work here now???? weapon using!! what are you saying!!!!

Yes ZIAD u r right..ur answer says all..

Amoud,

what r u talking abt?? Did i favoured neone here?? plzz read my answers..Yes, u can say i m a smart women..Coz if i would have been in Ms.Popi's place, i would have slapped that CORDINATOR immediately if i would have find his SMSes dirty..If neone is holding all the dirty SMSes still, then y to fear?? approach to LABOUR DEPT or meet ur final boss..

I dont want to be sarcastic neway..plzzzzzzzzzz

Popi,

Keep all the SMS he sent and if he don't stop. You can complain directly to police without giving him a warning or you can talk to the higher management.

I highly suggest to talk to him and tell him what you feel including the way he treated you.

Hi,

Dear friend I am ashamed that an Indian has behaved with u in such a manner because I too am an Indian.

My advise to u is that just warn him that u will not tolrate any such nusience activity and will report to police and higher authorities. Next time if his behaviour is not changed complain to your higher authorities.

Regards

Raj

I didnt understand why POPi8... mentioned that he is INDIAN and she is EUROPEAN????????,i hope she can tell us first from which contry in Europe???... what if he is european like her!!!!!!!,....

GENTS, plz Lets be fair

Soniya,

Your answer is really rude for both of the people that you answered back!!!!I am not trying to have any sympathy from anyone.

I just put the Question to review others people opinion about this issue in order to decide!!.. As you know i am in foreign country and I want to know whats the rules and the law here in a muslim country!!

And smth last!! please click on the following link and you will see if its a SEXUAL HARRASMENT OR NO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

http://www.titleix.ucr.edu/topic_2_1.htm.

AS YOU CAN CLEARLY SEE AND I THINK YOU CAN READ ENGLISH, IT IS!!!!!!

no Amoud u r wrong, you should be fair and listen to two stories

this is my point,...

dont judge if you hear one side,.... lets be fair...

what are these sms say? are they really contain harrisment.... come on guys if she is just a woman doesnt mean she need to win sympathy ...

Nationalty has nothing to do.... who can assure that she is not saying so just because she doesnt like her boss.... maybe she is not qualified and using dirty weapon,...

please dont judge i think my answer above is the best soulution

Soniya, if you are a smart woman you would not have made your last comment.

This is Qatar.. not Europe, not India. The reason for Q&A is to see if she actually has any right to complain. No need to justify someones insane comment with an even more insane answer.

I also cannot believe that you are justifying a violation of womens rights.

I changed my mind about being diplomatic, this guy should get a swift kick in the bolts the next time he does this stuff... if he complains, then you can tell them why you did it. I am sure he would never open his mouth.

Benson,

Try not to use specifically one's caste or nationality..it wld be gud for u..Y did u mentioned that??it could be ne person from this earth? dont pin-point ne one..OK...

Westlife,

What the hell do u think abt urself??V r just reading MS. so called POPI's quesiton here..v dont know the pros and cons of Ms.popi's problem..u shldnt mention ne one as a STREET PERSON..Its just she used the weapon of SEXUALLY HARASSMENT,all r taking her side..Plzz wait..or if neone really wants to pin point ne one's nationality or to call someone as STREET person, plz plzzzz call MS.POPI...ok..

I would recommend Ms.Popi to post her MOBILE NUMBER so that the person who r interested in solving her pblm can call her genuinely..i think this will be better..

I m not able to digest this fact that being a SMART WOMEN, she cant take decision by herself that she needs to report it to her ultimate boss or she needs to speak directly to her coordinator..she is posting this question just to gain sympathy or what..

and puhllllease, i m not taking side of ne people from ne nationality..

This is a common sense, that if u feel that one has harassed u mentally or physically, speak to him directly, and if not solved, go to labour dept.or to ur final boss.Its so simple !!!!!!!!!1

Piss him.......well hes an idiot guy may be he doesnt has a wife,mother or sister thats y he does like this? "Just tell him if it was ur sis or ur wife instead of me wot would happen" just do 1 thing try to contact police as soon as possible b4 he takes a big step...forget bout ur job and company god will help u and ill help u to find a respected job 4 respected peoples...Try this i hope it will help u.....

Well, I think that is sexual harrasment and you should report him but you have to be tactical about this. Make sure you still have the SMS on your phone as proof of what he sent to you or else it would be your word against his. But be sure to report such behaviour, you are in a foreign land anything can happen so be wise to protect yourself from assault.

i think what he is doing is against the law in qatar.

threaten him if he continues...you will report him to the police.

i he doesn't stop ...well report him.

Good Luck!!

If I were you I would smack the shit out of him. Excuse my language. He has no right to do that to you. I hope you kept the sms messages he sent you that way you have proof. You should just call the police and tell them he is harrasing you mentally and sexually. That way it won't be up to the company if he stays or not. Please don't let this go on any futher. I am ashamed because he is a man and it's men like that who give us good men a bad name.

LOL!!! What a huge contrast in our problems..My boss asked me to wear hijab and your boss is sexually harrassing you. I guess I am better off then..

I know they will not kick him out '''''''

so is that what you want???? kicking him out of job??? or a solution to your problem??

Stand up and talk to him on his face.. that you are not happy with his attitude towards you. He gota change , or you will have no choice than complaining the management.

If he remains the same.. do complain.

cheers

don't delete the messages... they can be used against him in a court. In qatar it is not allowed to act this way towards women, and if you want to go to your higher management, then you can do so and show the messages that are the most pertinent to the situation you are in. That should help, if you are then dismissed (as I fear you are worried about) you can go to the courts to suggest unfair dismissal, and physical/emotional/sexual harrassment by this man.

In qatar it is very serious when a man 'assaults' a woman either verbally or physically... and sms is just the proof you need of his unwanted attentions.

Hold onto those messages and tell him you will report him to the police if he shows anymore unwanted attention towards you.

Angelwings.

If he has been sending you sms messages they can be traced so if you need proof of that you can get this from Q-tel. You are vunerable and should do something about this because the situation may escalate - so before it does you have to do something.

Don't get yourself involved in sending e-mails or any more text messages as this may and could complicate the situation.

If he did touch you inapproriately to your recollection you have to report this.

Unless you take a firm stand this will not stop.

Popi You can't say that ur coordinator has sexually harrased you until u have a solid proof. As u mentioned ur project is in the critical path, normally the coordinators and managers will be in a greater pressure and it sometimes reflects with the colleagues (Even though it is not correct). As u have mentioned some times he is ok and other times he is not. I think this is because of the work pressure.

I suggest the following

1) if there is any mistake from your side (Try to find this out from a third party's point of view) try to correct it.

2) Inform your coordinator politely this kind of attitude will affect the work as well as the environment.

3) Still the same problem exists gather solid proof (Like the SMS he sent to u) and report to the management.

Best of Luck.

look my friend,...

if he is giving you hard comments because you are not producing and doing your job same as other employee(whether males or females), then he is right because he is ur boss, and u should NOT use dirty weapon.

BUT, if he is trying to touch your body or ask for sexual or impolite desires (verbally or physically), then he is WRONG and in this case you have to report him.

becarefull, because if you are woman DOESNT MEAN THEY WILL GIVE U RIGHT FOR GRANTED. be fair...

I SUGEST TO FACE HIM AND WARN HIM DIRECTLY AND IF HE REPEAT THEN GO REPORT HIM, FOR SURE...

Yeah well i think you should report him and tell him next time he does something like that you will report him to the police! and as i am a european i can understand how sometimes people can be here...lol...juss report him to the cops and he will be alright for his life time...

This is not shocking at all. My daughter has a similar problem at work and she also works with an Indian guy. If he is in a good mood he treats her with the same respect she treats him if he is having a bad day he talks to her in a disrespectful manner. My daughter is a quiet and well mannered person and respects other people so she keeps quiet. They can be glad I don't work there as I wouldn't keep my mouth shut !!! It's so uncalled for.

... not your answer Brit, you snuck in there before I could post.

I think you should go to your supervisors or the HR department in your company and make a formal complaint.

I think both answers are rubbish. If he is sending you SMS about love and so forth that is sexual harrasment, you dont have to be touched to be sexually harrased.

Any contact outside of work, or any personal conversations or questioning are indeed harrassment. Report him to your boss, show the messages and so on and if nothing is done I am sure you can at least report it to the labor department. Make sure when you complain you do so in writing.

Whatever his nationality, If he has abused you verbally or caused you distress, then it is wrong.

Perhaps as a first instance, you should write him an email explaining that you were not happy with his attitude, but you both need to work together and he should understand the boundaries of the relationship..

plz don`t thinks much and do your job if he doing next time plz call ...............

well i m surprised that an INDIAN has done like this wid u...coz as far as i know, no INDIAN men can do this coz they fear for the law of one country..its a shocking news for me..i m not saying this coz i too an INDIAN but i know abt indian males..well if this has happened to u, u can report to the main boss of ur company..then wait for their action..U have mentioned that UR CO-ORDINATOR is touchabe in sometime..U cant say it as SEXUAL HARRASSMENT..right??U r mature and u better know what exactly SEXUAL HARRASSMENT means..So think on this and before proceeding to report this,u shld have firm proof with urself to proove that ur CORDINATOR has sexually harassed u...if he is rude with u sometimes, then it do happens coz of work pressure..but yes, if he has crossed his limits to shout on u or to making u let down, then its not done gud..speak with ur colleagues as well..good luck...