Rules Men Wish Women Knew

1. If you think you are fat, you probably are. Do not ask us. We refuse to answer.

2. Learn to work the toilet seat. If it's up, Put it down.

3. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, expect an answer you do not want to hear.

4. Sometimes, we are not thinking about you. Live with it.

5. Shopping is not a sport, and no, we are never going to think of it that way.

6. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is fine. Really.

7. You have enough clothes.

8. You have too many shoes.

9. Crying is blackmail.

10. Your ex-boyfriend is an idiot.

11. Ask for what you want. Let us be clear on this one:
Subtle hints do not work. Strong hints do not work.
Obvious hints do not work. Just say it!

12. Most guys own three pairs of shoes. What makes you think we'd be any good at choosing which pair, out of thirty, would look good with your dress?

13. Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question.

14. Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it. That
is what we do. Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.

15. A headache that lasts for 17 months is a problem. See a doctor.

16. Do not fake it. We would rather be ineffective than deceived.

17. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument.
All comments become null and void after 7 days.

18. If you won't dress like the Victoria's Secret girls, don't expect us to act like soap opera guys.

19. If something we said can be interpreted two ways, and one of the ways makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one.

20. Women wearing Wonderbras and low-cut blouses lose their right to complain about having their boobs stared at.

21. ALL men see in only 16 colors, like windows default settings.
Peach is a fruit, not a color.

22. Pumpkin is also a fruit.

23. If it itches, it will be scratched.

24. Beer is as exciting for us as handbags are for you.

25. If it is OUR house, I do not understand why
MY stuff gets thrown in the closet/attic/basement.