Torn Between Love & Lust

For your gold advice that if people let their feelings follow them then the results can be bad as some feelings might killing or rape or drug or etc.

That feelings must be controlled or just leave it as it?

Your statement

"That's why people who have 'feelings' suffer in society"

so you link the cause of the suffer which some people have in their life is because they have feeling, in which context this true?

See Thelonius you put all the people in one bag and this not logic.

Now take this example:

A man is living in his house with his family and suddenly a war started between his country and another country and an air plane hit his family and died while he left work but it was too late and now he is suffering the great loss, do you think it is fair to link the suffer to his feeling?

Thelonius do you want to say that people should not have feeling?

If some tried to get work but couldn't how is this linked to the feelings?

I really your remarks and replies are amazing.

Do you think feelings are necessary or not? In other words are they important?

More but sure some enzymes are produced and signals are transferred to the brain, so my question to you why are you using the word feel if you do not understand what feelings mean?

Here are some links for brain and feeling

http://www.medicalnewstoday.com/releases/52415.php

http://www.medicalnewstoday.com/releases/52415.php

Thelonius I am waiting for your answers?

Ok who say feelings are important please say yes.

In my opinion the the ability to sense what others are in such as happy situations or sad.

From the web here is a very clear definition:

feel·ing (flng)

n.

1.

a. The sensation involving perception by touch.

b. A sensation experienced through touch.

c. A physical sensation: a feeling of warmth.

2. An affective state of consciousness, such as that resulting from emotions, sentiments, or desires: experienced a feeling of excitement.

3. An awareness or impression: He had the feeling that he was being followed.

4.

a. An emotional state or disposition; an emotion: expressed deep feeling.

b. A tender emotion; a fondness.

5.

a. Capacity to experience the higher emotions; sensitivity; sensibility: a man of feeling.

b. feelings Susceptibility to emotional response; sensibilities: The child's feelings are easily hurt.

6. Opinion based more on emotion than on reason; sentiment.

7. A general impression conveyed by a person, place, or thing: The stuffy air gave one the feeling of being in a tomb.

8.

a. Appreciative regard or understanding: a feeling for propriety.

b. Intuitive awareness or aptitude; a feel: has a feeling for language.

adj.

1. Having the ability to react or feel emotionally; sentient; sensitive.

2. Easily moved emotionally; sympathetic: a feeling heart.

3. Expressive of sensibility or emotion: a feeling glance.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

feeling·ly adv.

Synonyms: feeling, emotion, passion, sentiment

These nouns refer to complex and usually strong subjective human response. Although feeling and emotion are sometimes interchangeable, feeling is the more general and neutral: "Poetry is the spontaneous overflow of powerful feelings: it takes its origin from emotion recollected in tranquillity" (William Wordsworth).

Emotion often implies the presence of excitement or agitation: "Poetry is not a turning loose of emotion, but an escape from emotion" (T.S. Eliot).

Passion is intense, compelling emotion: "They seemed like ungoverned children inflamed with the fiercest passions of men" (Francis Parkman).

Sentiment often applies to a thought or opinion arising from or influenced by emotion: We expressed our sentiments about the government's policies.

The word can also refer to delicate, sensitive, or higher or more refined feelings: "The mystic reverence, the religious allegiance, which are essential to a true monarchy, are imaginative sentiments that no legislature can manufacture in any people" (Walter Bagehot). See Also Synonyms at opinion.

source:

http://www.thefreedictionary.com/feeling

just think first before you answer:

What makes the mother get heart broken when something bad happen to her son or daughter?

Do you think that humans have no feelings?

because it is a natural desire in many of us.

This desire becomes negative if it is used wrongly.

Knife is good for cutting fruits and bad when it is used as a weapon to hurt and threat others and it is also good if you use it to defend your self.

Vicious circle.Lust and love ,one leads to the other

Tinker...I do sometimes.....:)

Tah...great link...now since you would have read both the links please let me know what do you make out of them so that I can clear my understanding too.

Love = Feeling

Lust = Feeling

So Feeling - Feeling = 0 (No difference)

Keep the life simple when it comes to relations.

It's not about discovering rocket science or an intergalactic endeavor to spot a difference to one millionth decimal place between elements. Cheers!

the Spartans used to leave their male child outside in the elements.

If he survived, then fine. Otherwise he was a weakling and would have perished anyway..

I think it depends how you define Love. I'm not talking about romantic love, I'm talking about attachment. Are you saying that you don't love your children, your parents?

We can procreate all we want, but if we leave our infants to die of the elements because we don't have any attachment for them, we wouldn't have gone far as a species.

Love without lust applies only with pets..like cats and birds. ((:

Tah...here is the opinion of the Supreme court of India on pre marital sex and live in relationships. Sometimes it is better to ask our dear google to help you out...it really is very kind...:)

http://articles.timesofindia.indiatimes.com/2010-03-23/india/28142517_1_apex-court-madrash-high-court-offence

There can be Lust without Love but there can be no Love without Lust.

YUp Brit its cus of thasin's 69+shopping strategy.. ((:

by the way, my Jokes thread has gone :O(

Is Biyani a chinese dish? BIyani with paneer masala may be german yeah??..

As far as I am aware, co-habiting is not against the law in India.

Just you wait until babu sees this! :0

When you all talk about love..

I wanna listen to this song..

As I am sure thread has taken the other way..((:

....Well you are right Miss Mimi, Marriage is a social construct ;

There is a word "Control" its true everyone have the feelings but should know how to control it,

if we talk about love, its beautiful thing to happen we can say lust is a desire both have different properties !!!

Tahsinmim...why do you have an emaciated monkey playing the guitar in your post? It is rather disturbing....and might make my friend babu sad ...he does not like to see monkeys being abused.

Brit..it was not lust, actually it was the red apple.. lol ((:

I would have to agree with Thelonius..

We evolved because of lust and procreation.

Perhaps "Love" is a recent phenomena ..

Ave!

I remember in a previous life when Alexander first saw Roxxana. It was pure lust ... And as for Mark Anthony .. What can i say ..

I disagree thelonius, humans survived because we were able to develop close bonds and close knit family groups. The feeling of "Love" was essential to our evolution.

Now marriage, that's a social construct.

Tah, think of "lust" as attraction or desire. It's a good thing to be attracted to or desire your spouse.

regardless of gender!

It is called "spouse" not supose Straight Arrow.

Lust = desire

here is the dictionary link

http://www.thefreedictionary.com/lust

Good lasting relationships will never ever by Lust only it is a combination of many factors such as sharing responsibilities.

By the way here is an advice

"If you want your relation with your supose strong stay away from the things which can spoil it"

So now we have the question:

What are the things that spoil the relationships?

I think you need a healthy dose of both for a relationship to survive. Most relationships will start out with lust being the primary focus, but as passions naturally die down, compatibility and friendship will keep the people together and help them handle life's obstacles, raise a family, etc. However, if you still don't have a bit of lust for each other, the relationship won't last.

Khanan, find a stranger in QL..someone like Gypsy Gal!!

LOL :)

Many Love (Lust) gurus on the site:)

where to find that stranger?

Recipe of falling in love with a complete stranger..:)

Find a complete stranger.

Reveal to each other intimate details about your lives for half an hour.

Then, stare deeply into each other’s eyes without talking for four minutes.

Let your hormones do the rest..:)

1)What does physical Lust mean?

If it means the sxual desire then this will not come if you do not love the other person (your supose) but if you love then it will come.

Love is shown by the acts and there are many people who love their supose and at the same time there is no physical lust, this actually a phsycology propblem which is not shame to contact a special consultant in this field.

Love as I said in previous posts is not words only but it also an act.

What does it mean when you say to your supose I love you but your acts are opposite?

The true love will grow between the married couples when the tree of love is well watered with seeds (nice acts words) and might also grow for un married couple.

2) Every relationship is based on personality and characteristic.

3) Relationship based only on sex is the tool of un grown people in my opinion and it will not last long and it will end in a failure.

beblessedalways, Why do you want to suppress the lust hormones? In a married life, don't you think it's more than required to have a healthy flow of hormones..:)

Btw, there are chemicals, used in prisons, that are mixed with the food of prisoners so that their libido is contained and sexual assaults within inmates are reduced.

That's somehow anatomical explanation, huh. I kinda understand that. So, what should be done to avoid triggering the lust hormones leading to love hormones which greatly affects most spouses? Maybe establish well the focus of our brain cells not to trigger them at all, if ever?

Peace!

I have been shocked... when women have said... "forget the emotion... and keep the relationship purely sexual"...

Like + Lust = love

Love - Lust = like

Well, I am not sure it is "just" a chemical reaction, there may be more to it, never the less, I do not think that one form of love is more "true" than another. They may be different, but it is still the same thing initially, love.

Of course, one can feel that one form of love means more than another.

nomerci/BB, Yes its a chemical reaction and easy to understand considering evolutionary biology. I guess its the poets and writers who have 'tastefully duped' people into believing that there's something as 'true' love and you got to wait for 'that someone' who's made for you!!

KR - Love is a chemical function. It's natures way of preparing two bodies for procreation. Nature has so tastefully duped mankind into believing in that special someone that we have started taking love too literally as a function of the soul itself.

Knight, I agree. I also wonder what "true" love is...IMHO, there are many different kinds of love, every single one "true" in its own meaning.

A person waiting or hoping to find their "one true love", has, IMHO no idea about love.

seems to be a Love Guru :)

BB, I feel Love is a function of time...it has it's highs and lows. When people say 'true love' it makes me wonder what they are talking about!

Not all relationships require committment. Finding true love is a complicated task. When in doubt, stick with lust and let love take it's time.

Nothing has changed when it comes to feelings of people. Love and lust have existed since mankind existed.

How people react to those emotions however HAS changed over time due to changes in society in general.

That does not mean things have gotten worse...maybe just a little more honest...

The word 'torn' used here to indicate the difference between love and lust is not right IMO. If we are talking about relationships between matured men and women who are not related and they fancy each other..then these feelings are complementary to each other and work in the same direction with time. We know love or lust do change with time and depends on circumstances and bodily secretions of hormones. Usually, it starts with lust, goes on to a more stable form of attraction like attachment and finally strengthens to love. When lust hormones like testosteron or eostrogen decrease, secretions of other love related hormones also decrease affecting the feelings.

I dont think there is any thing called love in this time and age even if based on personality and characteristics (and I mean the forward looking ultra modern people)..Generally people cannot differentiate between love and lust and think their pursuit of lust is love. Else why do we have the concept of live in relationships (LIR) so much favored and gaining ground. You can have sex with the guy or girl but cannot love enough to be in a committed relationship bound by certin behavioral norms (dont think I need to elaborate it).

And it is a fallacy that women believe in love and men in lust...never heard a man explicitly stating "I need my space" in a relationship but guess woman always make it a big issue, Why?

Perhaps he fell in love with you and wanted you as a second wife ..

i believed that woman strongly believe in love but maximum man believe's in lust ...

Once i was doing shopping at city center there was a man who was following me i was totally annoyed and i was ignoring him but he was trying to tell me his mob number. After some time i saw his family wife & three beautiful kids imagine i felt petty on his wife that she trust her husband and he is looking forward for what ?

this is so ridicules,....

I agree with what you say. there is a very good example of this in tamil literature (Im not a tamilian but i was told this by my friend).

A man once asks a Poet, what is more important - love or Sex.

He says - If i wanted love i would have just adopted a puppy... If i only wanted sex, i would have gone to a to a Prostitue.

Life should always be a combination of both.

Another prospective of love is love within family and love between friends (male to male & female to female) without any involvement of lust/sex, don't you think?

Well put MN "I also believe strong and healthy relationships, need a dose of both medicines to survive"

True said, Fatemiah!

I'm of the opinion that, for any relationship to last and flourish it should be combination of both physical attraction and love.

after all one may love a person but not want to jump into intimacy with them, and vice versa.

having said that, I also believe strong and healthy relationships, need a dose of both medicines to survive.

Compromises have to be made somewhere. Unbalanced relationships burn you out quickly... likewise too much love becomes boring.

Well put..

I would hold this to be true for the majority. Although there are many now who claim to be happy in a non-phisical and platonic relationship.

IMO Whilst your spouse/partner must be someone with whom you find mental ease and happiness,ie someone who's personality compliments your own, he/she must be someone you are physically attracted to as well. There is no denying the power of lust and who better to be passionately attracted to than your own spouse?

For guys its possible but for a women if she loves someone i think it would be difficult for her as sex is just not a pleasure for women it is all her emotional dogma.