Let’s talk about Sexual Orientation. Is Homosexuality a Mental Illness or Emotional Problem?

azilana7037
By azilana7037

Sorry my friends, but the answer is NEITHER. IT IS NOT....

It was already determined by medical and mental health professionals that homosexuality is NOT an illness, mental disorder or an emotional problem.

It was once thought to be a mental illness due to biased information. In the past the studies of gay, lesbian and bisexual people involved only those in therapy, thus biasing the resulting conclusions. When researchers examined data about these people who were not in therapy, the idea that homosexuality was a mental illness was quickly found to be untrue.

But what can be done to overcome the prejudice and discrimination? Unfortunately, gay, lesbian and bisexual people are at a higher risk for physical assault and violence than are heterosexuals. Anti-gay aggression truly happens, from name-calling to physical violence. Most, if not all are victims of hate crimes based on their sexual orientation.

Educating all people about sexual orientation and homosexuality is likely to diminish anti-gay prejudice. Accurate information about homosexuality is especially important to young people who are first discovering and seeking to understand their sexuality—whether homosexual, bisexual, or heterosexual. Fears that access to such information will make more people gay have NO VALIDITY—information about homosexuality does not make someone gay or straight.

The way I see it, negative attitudes toward gay people as a group are prejudices that are not grounded in actual experiences but are based on stereotypes and prejudice. What saddens me is that though society has accepted their existence, still there are instances that they are humiliated, embarrassed and treated as scum mostly by conservatives, religious, and other sects of the society.

The only people who have the most positive attitudes toward gay men, lesbians and bisexuals are those who say they know one or more gay, lesbian or bisexual person well—often as a friend or co-worker. You may conclude that I’m biased because I myself, have relatives who are gays (lesbians and homosexuals), but mind you, these relatives of mine has successful career and financially-stable and prominent figures in our home city. I’m not even ashamed to admit that my very best friend is a gay.

But before someone here thinks that I’m gay/lesbian…NOPE, I am not as I am very much confident and happy with my femininity and sexuality.

By anonymous• 29 Apr 2007 02:05
anonymous

Go to your original post then press edit, at the bottom of your box comment there's a choice of preview, submit and delete. you know what to do next girl!!! Luv yah! Hmm! but we're gonna loose our points! you know that? never mind! do what you feel is right to do, let others get into trouble than you!

told yah! what will happen next didn't I? don't want you get into trouble that's why I warned you!!!! see you tomorrow Sweetie!!!

Just keep dancing, it will do you good!!!

By anonymous• 29 Apr 2007 01:11
anonymous

Are often the people most personally conflicted on the subject. It can't be a nice way to live hey fondodor or whatever your name is.

He pretty much sums up everything I have said today, poor guy.

THE END

YOO HOO !!

By Cornellian• 29 Apr 2007 00:14
Cornellian

Awww azilana don't feel bad, look u can't please everyone, as long as u speak ur mind then u shouldn't get upset, everyone has his/her opinions, no worries dear. But I agree this thread should come to an end before it turns into a battlefield. But again it was a good topic and I hope u don't get discouraged in start such interesting debates. Goodnight hun xxx

By azilana7037• 29 Apr 2007 00:09
azilana7037

Though the discussion is going strong. I believe we have to stop here. I am to blame as I have offended unknowingly readers of this topic.

I gained but lost friends due to this topic...please close this one.

I'll just go and lick my wounds somewhere private...GOOD NIGHT, FOLKS!!!!

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What you are is what you have been, and what you will be is what you do now. - Buddha

By azilana7037• 28 Apr 2007 23:12
azilana7037

usap tayo Suspended ang mobile ko. tawagan mo ako sa landline apat lima lima isa apat anim dalawa.

At least give me the chance to point out my side. Na-misunderstood mo ko...please lang, friend...

What you are is what you have been, and what you will be is what you do now. - Buddha

By fondador• 28 Apr 2007 23:11
fondador

see you on may 3

By anonymous• 28 Apr 2007 23:06
anonymous

Is that you dearie fondle-the-door?

By junarc2003• 28 Apr 2007 23:01
junarc2003

fondador..u don't really have to name names here...who do u think u are to call them such things? who are u by the way? and u don't have to copy paste here other person's opinion just to prove something like u know enough...like duh? i'm not sure if u know what u are talking about...FYI, they are everywhere... if u don't want them to walk arund u...then why not ISOLATE yourself... u are far worst to those "people" whom u are referring to as "FAGGOTS"

azzy...happy now? i hope this answers all your questions...i will tell u honestly...i really regret that day...and u know what i meant about it... goodluck to u,...

By fondador• 28 Apr 2007 22:51
fondador

it depends who answer this question....And its a sensitive topic...“I’m a Catholic and the church has clear teachings on this but in my own point of view......

“Aww, hell no! I don't want any faggots on my area, I know this might not be what people want to hear, but that's a punk. My point of view or comments are inappropriate and hurtful to the Gay and Lesbian community, but no offence my apology to you, but they are really twisted and got emotional problem

"I wouldn't want a gay guy being around me." . . . "It's got nothing to do with me being scared i just pity them. All these faggots say they got all these rights. Yeah, they got rights or whatever, but gay or lebian shouldn't walk around proud. It's like he's rubbing it in our face. 'See me, Hear me roar.' i am not trying to be close-minded, but then again, why be confrontational.... when you don't really have to be?" .....“If the world accepts homosexuality as its norm and if it moves the entire world in that regard, the whole world is then going to be sitting like Sodom and Gomorrah, and we the time comes, we will all be guilty and we will all suffer for

it.” “...What kind of craziness is it in our society which will put a cloak of secrecy around a group of people whose lifestyle is at best abominable. Homosexuality is an abomination. The practices of those people is appalling. It is a pathology. It is a sickness, and instead of thinking of giving these people a preferred status and privacy, we should treat AIDS exactly the same way as any other communicable disease...” "homosexual behavior is extremely unhealthy, contributing to the spread of AIDS, hepatitis A, B and C and other sexually transmitted diseases….A study was even made by my fraternity brother (thesis nya) reveals that homosexuals typically have far shorter life spans than the general population. Other reports indicate that homosexuals are more likely to have drug and alcohol abuse problems....homosexual behavior hurts people, families, and communities....Same-sex 'marriage' threatens not only the integrity of the marital definition but also religious freedom....as i told you its a sensitive issue...

By anonymous• 28 Apr 2007 22:30
anonymous

Lck of education can be cited as another factor

By Oryx• 28 Apr 2007 22:28
Oryx

I really couldnt care less about anyone's sexual orientation as long as it is between consenting adults. However the attitude taken by certain people in the name of religion/culture etc puts me off them. I don't like anyone dictating to me how and what I should think and what my opinions should be.

Luckily I have a brain and can make up my own opinion. I try to treat people well until they give me a reason to do otherwise. I try not to pre-judge or preclude anyone before knowing them... because guess who misses out ---- ME! my life would become a rather dull place if my friends were the same gender/class/race/sexuality etc as me.

By Serendipity• 28 Apr 2007 22:20
Serendipity

That's all very well, khan, (well, not really, but I digress)...

You seem to disapprove of and dislike homosexuality. Fair enough. You're entitled to your opinion (and perhaps your beliefs, if your opinion has a basis in religious beliefs).

But your personal opinion is one thing. But do you believe you have a right to inflict your personal opinion on others who do not believe they have sick minds? Does that mean that it's okay to hate people and to discriminate against them?

Or should we be more tolerant and aspire to 'live and let live'?

By khanm• 28 Apr 2007 22:03
khanm

Just of fun and taste people drven the name homosexulity.

this just B'coz of sick minds

By khanm• 28 Apr 2007 21:59
khanm

Its nothing but

Depends on the mentality

People to people

Person to person

the results in your way

By khanm• 28 Apr 2007 21:59
khanm

Its nothing but

Depends on the mentality

People to people

Person to person

the results in your way

By Cornellian• 28 Apr 2007 21:53
Cornellian

LOL I laughed so much when I realized my slip, but it was a slip up in the right place at the right time haha.

I just thought about how gay people get married anyways just to hide their gayness. It's so sad! Not only are gay people forced into a double life but their wives are living a big lie. When will society realize what a mistake it is to discriminate against gays? Thing is EVERYONE knows about homosexuals and their big numbers in qatar and yet noone's ready to openly talk about it.

If a survey is taken, I imagine there's alot more gays here then we would expect.

By anonymous• 28 Apr 2007 21:16
anonymous

Thing is, I don't think it makes people gay but I do think it increases the chances of boys trying out things with other boys at an earlier age.

When I was at school we would play kiss chase and "doctors and nurses" with the girls. We knew that girls were different from us but we also didn't know about sex so natural curiosity and burgeoning feelings meant that you did all sorts of silly things with the girls.

Right take away the girls and what do you do, you have these feelings of curiosity, early crushes etc but no girls. So what do you do, you start playing with the boys. Now some of them will like it some of them won't. None will understand the feelings that they have.

Some will put it down to Childhood/Adolescent curiosity and move on. They will join in with their society norms and condemn it as wrong.

Some will know that its right for them. Sadly these will probably end up like the people described above, buying gifts for their male "friends" whilst no doubt going on to marry. And worse still condemning people who do it openly as WRONG.

And of course here and places like Saudi even the straight ones, finding it hard to find people of the opposite sex to do it with and try it out with may very well use male friends an ginnea pigs/surrogates until such time as they marry.

If a survey was taken I imagine the same proportion of gay people live here as in the rest of the world. They just aint shouting about it.

By Gypsy• 28 Apr 2007 20:03
Gypsy

Nice Ferudian slip Cornellian "condoms them" instead of "condemns them" LOL.

That's exactly what this society does. :D

I feel your scorn and I accept it-Jon Stewart

By azilana7037• 28 Apr 2007 20:03
azilana7037

The court is yours, mates. Though I'm still hurting from the SCORN of those who disapprove of this topic...oh well.

I guess, that's the way the ball bounces.

By Cornellian• 28 Apr 2007 19:58
Cornellian

No probs, u know I love to be dragged back in lol

If the gay guys here were not deprived of women,if it wasn't a taboo to date, have relationships would they have been gay?

Yes some of it is in the genes, and some people have higher tendencies to homosexuality than others but the situation does affect.

Wouldn't it be ironic if men here turned gay to an extent because of society's pressures and then they're expected to hide it ?! I mean society forces them into this double life and then condoms them when they do have a double life !!

By Gypsy• 28 Apr 2007 19:45
Gypsy

Sorry Cornellian for dragging you back in. But this is what I mean, I think most of us have homosexual tendencies when put in the right situation...just as homosexuals have hetro sexual tendencies when in the right situation.

I feel your scorn and I accept it-Jon Stewart

By Cornellian• 28 Apr 2007 19:40
Cornellian

Damnit that was supposed to be my last post here but since u guys started all over again, I can't help but comment :D

Aviduser, let's look at the situation here: seperate boys and girls schools, seperate universities, there's no contact between the two genders but alot of contact between same gender, so couldn't that increase the tendency to be gay ? I mean those guys have their sexual needs and no girls around and all they can see is other guys so they think to themselves "why not, let's give it a try" and as gypsy said they might just addicted to gay sex since they can't get normal sex. So I wonder if it's only to do with genetics...

By Gypsy• 28 Apr 2007 19:37
Gypsy

You think? I have always kind of thought that everyone is born bisexual, and for either hormonal reasons or upbringing they choose one sex over the other. Here I think a lot of guys lean towards homosexuality because it's easier than hetrosexuality, and in some ways it's encouraged (if you're the giver).

I feel your scorn and I accept it-Jon Stewart

By anonymous• 28 Apr 2007 19:33
anonymous

I imagine these guys are born gay too, but in this society they choose to remain in the closet for obvious reasons. They then lead this double life and reward those who keep quiet with the gifts you describe.

By Gypsy• 28 Apr 2007 19:16
Gypsy

Damn I've come in really late on this topic. Can I just bring up Cornellians question, about it being entirely genetic or if you can become gay through certain life factors?

I always consider homosexuality to be completely genetic and decided since birth, till I came here. The gay scene here is simply bizarre. A good friend of mine here is gay and he was explaining the scene, and he said first off the number of homosexuals here in the Gulf is much higher then anywhere else he's been (Canada, US, Phillipines, Australia) especially prevalent is this idea that you're only gay if you "take it" therefore as long as you're "giving it" you're a mans man. Also there's a lot of "sugar daddies" here. Older Khaleeji men out looking for the young Khaleeji (or otherwise boys) and paying them or giving them presents for sex (cars, apartments, clothes, etc). He's shocked since he would never dream of prostituting himself in such a manner and has been insulted quite a few times by guys trying to buy him.

He also isn't sure how many of these guys are actually gay or just started off experimenting with their peers and have just gotten used to gay sex. Especially since for some of them women are quite foreign.

Anyway, what I guess I'm trying to say is for a place where homosexuality is illegal and punishable by lashes and such, there's more homosexuality here than in most other places. Hmmmm.

I feel your scorn and I accept it-Jon Stewart

By randr88• 28 Apr 2007 19:12
randr88

Close the thread, Respect people for who they are and don't keep stating "God created Adam and Eve, not Adam and Steve" this saying went out with leisure suits.

By foolsday• 28 Apr 2007 18:45
foolsday

Gays are perfectly normal people. Their only "difference" is that they love somebody of their own sex.

Computers have lots of memory but no imagination.

By anonymous• 28 Apr 2007 18:02
anonymous

By Cornellian• 28 Apr 2007 17:56
Cornellian

Thanks Azilana once again for a great detable topic, ofcourse there will always be people who will object and bash, but oh well that's the world, so who cares. Just a final word: Homo, hetro, bi or whatever we choose, we are entitled to our freedom, and at the end of the day we're all people. So as said earlier "live and let live"

P.S. there are ALOT of homosexuals here! And Spiddy...it's great that u finally admitted it...I always had my doubts about u lol...cheers xxx

By anonymous• 28 Apr 2007 17:49
anonymous

It goes on here as much as it does else where in the world, its just not quite as OUT here, after all no one wants to get stoned to death for shouting "yoo hoo" accross the street.

Oh dear spiderman is really GAY isn't he. But he is a hel of a crime fighter so.

Spiderman says

Yoo hoo

By sas1• 28 Apr 2007 17:48
sas1

You a person of peace and perfect kind, but this topic is interesting and a learning factor, life is based on learning and achieveing, if we all thrive in learning achieveing we wouldn't have spoken about this.

By azilana7037• 28 Apr 2007 17:41
azilana7037

I started (once again) a controversial topic and discussing this out in a forum has placed me in the line of fire. Others obviously did not approve of it, some welcomed it. I'm very sad to say that somehow along the thread, I was (once again)misunderstood by one of my dearest friend here in QL (it's not you, Heartless) and decided to shut me out.

I only wish that this person could've have read the forum's main topic and took the time to read the thread before making a conclusion about me. Please accept my apologies.

So, this topic must come to an end. Thank you to everyone who openly shared their views about the topic. I thought I know much about it basing it from what I know, but i still have a lot to learn.

I apologize if I offended any readers as I never meant to.

P.S.

For those who would still want to continue this thread, tread carefully

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What you are is what you have been, and what you will be is what you do now. - Buddha

By anonymous• 28 Apr 2007 17:38
anonymous

I have read "The Lion the Witch and the Wardrobe" but I don't beleive in Narnia, how exactly is that book different to your book.

By Medway• 28 Apr 2007 17:38
Medway

I can't imagine anyone would choose to be gay. With all the prejudice's they have to endure and the fact that homosexuals are the 'butt' of many a joke, I'm sure many a gay man/woman would prefer to be straight as it would make their lives a hell of a lot easier. Surely, thinking of that fact that alone anyone with an ounce of common sense would be able to see that homosexuality is not a deviant lifestyle choice that should be punished.

The sight of boys hanging out with each other on the Corniche with not a girl in sight, walking around malls with a slightly effeminate mince in their immaculately ironed outfit while holding hands and absolutely reeking of the latest cologne, could be perceived as a little gay to the average westerner.

By sas1• 28 Apr 2007 17:26
sas1

The quoran has it that proves my point, im not sensative at all buddy im just trying to send a message relax its only a conversation of life. You have to be very strong in mind to handle sensative topics like this, but you have to really study if you want what it means to be Human.

By anonymous• 28 Apr 2007 17:21
anonymous

PROVE IT !!

By sas1• 28 Apr 2007 17:20
sas1

Well heartless again i respect that but hey,

albinos is a inter semitic organisim which when fertilieses it produces a sentax baby, in other words they are perfectly human, like in ohter this is the same for example if some one is born looking different than the parents, this doesn't mean anything.

And anyway what proves if Adam was Gay, he has never seen a another guy before there wasn't feelings of romance it was a misson to deploy, so to make a generation of humans. So they did follow a code of humanity of course.

By Heartless• 28 Apr 2007 17:18
Heartless

OK sas mate, I can see you're getting upset so i'll censor this one. and FYI I have read the quoran, its really a lovely book with a LOT of good things in it. a LOT. but I disagree with its treatment of homosexuals.

By sas1• 28 Apr 2007 17:12
sas1

Sorry heartless but maybe you are heartless with religions but not the rest of the world.

The quran was texted by God, so you wouldn't say that that god is homophobic would you?

The circle of life in the bible and quran, torah, ashes ashes dust to dust, which in theory means you will be born from the earth and die to earth, so life chnages but not law.

so basically you have to be more adcore in tranistion in life and why god has given you a perfect soul to search for a happy life in which you obey him in all rules, im not saying everyone is perfect, everyone has wrong doings but homosexuall is far end of time. so have a good think about it and mayby for your knowledge have a read of the Quarn it has a lot of interesting topics of life.

By azilana7037• 28 Apr 2007 17:05
azilana7037

If you conclude that I am as what you say, as you seemed to be an expert in judging and evaluating people.

I didn't know I have "followers", do I? Gee, I wouldn't want that. I'd rather think that we are a multi-national community of brothers and sisters who can discuss freely and voice out what's on their mind as what you are doing now.

You're right, I don't have the bollocks because for one, I really don't have them. Daring me to start the thread? Maybe I will, maybe I won't.

Let's see where this thread goes...shall we?

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What you are is what you have been, and what you will be is what you do now. - Buddha

By sas1• 28 Apr 2007 17:03
sas1

I totaly respect your opinion, but God did create Adam and Eve.

By Heartless• 28 Apr 2007 17:01
Heartless

Sas1, perhaps all of those books were written a long time ago by homophobics, or the lawmakers who wanted to stop the spread of disease in a time when there were no cherry flavoured extra studded rubber goods available.

That part of the book probably had merit back then, but today its obsolete.

By sas1• 28 Apr 2007 16:56
sas1

Look guys im not being rude or racist but in common law in all religions, Islam, christanity, Jewish, Hindi, Sikh all have a common boundry of Homesexuality is forbited is that right or not? so if you think in theory it against the law of the book, so in other words would you commit a crime that will sacrifice you for punishment or not. If no follow the book, it states all law of life. i have never heard a book that allows Homesexulaity or gay parents this is going to far.

By azilana7037• 28 Apr 2007 16:54
azilana7037

I totally agree with you on that point.

My uncle adopted my cousin (real relative)who came from a broken family and also (legally)adopted another baby girl of an unwed teenager . He treated them as his own, supported my cousin thru college and my cousin is now a successfull accountant working for a multi-national company. The other girl is now in her last year of her nursing degree course in a prestigious university back in my home city.

My cousins also had their share of ribbings from their peers but never affected them. They grew up to be independent, matured and feisty little ladies themselves...lol

*******************************************

What you are is what you have been, and what you will be is what you do now. - Buddha

By anonymous• 28 Apr 2007 16:53
Rating: 2/5
anonymous

Adam or Eve or Adam and Steve as he didn't actually create anyone at all. We all grew from a single cell organism, some of which had to be asexual in order to reproduce so all beings have been gay from day one over 6 billion years ago. Sorry to burst that particular bubble.

Never mind hey

By Heartless• 28 Apr 2007 16:51
Heartless

No i don't know sandie, although i had it out with her once on this forum and think she is a bogan.

but I do agree with her, you pontificate.

And I'm not going to start another thread if you havent got the bollocks to answer a fair, relevant question here and risk hurting your "followers" (because obviously you can't make everyone happy when you answer that question), I dont think you will answer it in another thread either.

By junarc2003• 28 Apr 2007 16:49
Rating: 2/5
junarc2003

I don't think homosexuality is bad or good, its just somewhere like in the middle. By religion, its not good but it makes some people happy so how can that be bad? Just live your life right and you'll be fine, thats what i think...

btw azilana...the title...hate it...

By Cornellian• 28 Apr 2007 16:49
Cornellian

And why are the parents prejudiced ? because of society and the brainwashing of higher authorities.

By anonymous• 28 Apr 2007 16:46
anonymous

Their parents made them so.

By Heartless• 28 Apr 2007 16:45
Heartless

sas1 That expression is so trite. and its just a theory anyway.

if you believe that we evolved from monkeys then there were certainly alot of Adam-and-Steve monkeys getting it on together.

By azilana7037• 28 Apr 2007 16:45
azilana7037

you're baiting again...

Correction, my good friend. I was never on a "high horse" as you say. I'm having a wonderful exchange of ideas with Serendipity, Cornellian, aviduser and the rest of the QL posters in this forum.

But, I can't help but wonder, do you know "Sandie"? Because you assumed I'm on a "high horse" and she/he said I was trying hard to sound "sophisticated". Quite uncanny, don't you think.

Your question: Do you really think it is wrong to criticise other cultures when that culture involves isolating a group of people and treating them like social misfits?

My answer: You're baiting...let's discuss this in another forum. Please do the honor of starting a new thread with this question. I'm sure this would be an interesting topic that everyone would actively participate, dont you think?

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What you are is what you have been, and what you will be is what you do now. - Buddha

By Serendipity• 28 Apr 2007 16:45
Serendipity

Cornellian, while I appreciate your point about bullying, and no one would wish that on any child, I'm not sure how valid an argument that is.

I know someone whose eight year old son gets, well, what's the borderline between subjected to teasing and hurtful childish comments and bullying? She's a bit overweight and her clothes aren't as trendy as the other mums, she's basically not a 'yummy mummy'. Does that mean that overweight and untrendy mums shouldn't be allowed to be parents?

What about older parents? There have been cases of women who are 60+ having children nowadays, how will their children fare at the school gates when 'grandma' comes to pick them up? And while those cases are unusual, I know of some people who are quite young, who are the youngest out of a family of 4, 5 or 6 children, and their parents are in their 80s and 90s, and their parents were in their 40s when they were born, at a time when most couples had children in their late teens-early 20s.

Should older people not be allowed to be parents, because their children might be teased or bullied?

What about disabled people? If a parent is in a wheelchair or blind, and their children might be subjected to childish bullying? Should that not be allowed?

While no one would wish a child to be subjected to bullying, children have a nasty habit of picking out whatever 'weaknesses' they can perceive in other children.

If they can't tease and bully a child for having gay parents, they'll probably bully and tease them for living in a childrens home or moving round from foster home to foster home, they'll probably be teased and bullied for having no parents. And when that happens, who do those children turn to at night, to comfort them? Temporary foster parents? Social workers?

By sas1• 28 Apr 2007 16:43
sas1

God created Adam and Eve not Adam and Steve

By Cornellian• 28 Apr 2007 16:39
Cornellian

I guess no matter who u are and what u stand for, there will always be someone prejudice against u. Serendipity, ur right, no matter what kids will always pick on eachother's weaknesses. And aviduser, I agree that they've been gay all along but living in a conserved society would prevent them from expressing their true selves. Now that I think about it, the guy I knew never really had a real relationship before college, he was always pressured by his guy friends to date girls and stuff.

I don't understand why people are so prejudice, I mean it's not like gay people are forcing everyone to be gay, they're just being themselves...so live and let live!!

But then again, if we live and let live then we will be able to think for ourselves and we'll be so independent and free-thinkers that authority figures and religious preachers wouldn't be able to control us and our mentality anymore...hmmm...and I don't think they want that happening ;)

By Heartless• 28 Apr 2007 16:38
Heartless

Azilana get off your high horse, please. I thought it was your name, not your kids. sorry.

But dont take the easy cop-out, answer this, I think it is highly relevant given you've raised the debate in a muslim country.

Do you really think it is wrong to criticise other cultures when that culture involves isolating a group of people and treating them like social misfits?

Do you?

By Serendipity• 28 Apr 2007 16:31
Serendipity

While no one here has made this point, one of the things that amuses me about the arguments against gay parents is the argument that gay parents will raise a gay child.

Erm, where do they think gay parents come from?

For the most part, gay parents were born of and raised by heterosexual parents.

If that argument that gay parents will raise gay children is valid, then all people raised by heterosexuals would be heterosexual, and that's clearly not the case.

By anonymous• 28 Apr 2007 16:31
anonymous

Studies have shown that children that grow up in a gay household do better in life and certainly don't grow up gay.

Factors include the fact that gay parents will have planned to have the child will be financially better off etc etc. Older therefore more mature etc.

If you know the dark arts of Bittorrent I highly recommend finding a series called Penn and Teller's BullSh*t. They go into the topic very well and I am quoting them. They also do an excellent show about religion.

As I say if you are born gay enviromental factors will not change you one way or the other but they will delay the time when you decide who you are, as someone said above, they went to canada and came back gay. That person was gay all along but probably only felt comfortable about it when they were in another enviroment more akin to their lifestyle.

Friends of mine did the same.The factors included going to university and realising you are not alone in your feelings, to moving from a small town to London where the lifestyle was embraced.

Prejudice destroys lives pure and simple, outlaw it or write holy books that decry it. You will not stop it.

By azilana7037• 28 Apr 2007 16:28
azilana7037

in your post. Much as my girl is not here and in no way included in the topic, I don't think you're THAT "HEARTLESS" to include her in your aim of bashing my persona. If it's not pleasing to you, I'm sorry if I struck a nerve but do RESPECT those who has nothing to do with the topic.

But as much as you want to provoke me in replying to your retort, I won't oblige. Because by the way you responded to the post, it could be deemed that you have no interest in the topic. Rather, you're more interested in making this thread a battlefield.

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What you are is what you have been, and what you will be is what you do now. - Buddha

By Cornellian• 28 Apr 2007 16:22
Cornellian

Serendipity, ur story is solid evidence that the parent's sexual orientation has no effect whatsoever on his/her parenting abilities. And I agree.

Here's a question I asked earlier but got no response, now I sort of agree that sexuality is inborn, but can't it change depending on the environment, upbringing, etc ? or is it completely defined in the womb ? Can homosexuality in some cases be just a "phase" ?

By azilana7037• 28 Apr 2007 16:19
azilana7037

Then again, it totally depends on the "regular" parents of what they teach their children about "sexuality". Just imagine if one parent is a known "lady's man" or "womanizer", or the mother is known to the community as "gambler" or "casino addict", their children will also be subjected to the same treatment by his peers like the children of gay people.

*******************************************

What you are is what you have been, and what you will be is what you do now. - Buddha

By Heartless• 28 Apr 2007 16:15
Heartless

Analiza you said "It wouldn't be right to hate or criticise people just because they could not accept something that's not perceived right in their culture or the society they live in"

You brought up the frickin' topic. Did you only want people to reply to you saying "oh you're so smart and understanding"? Take KiaraJane's advice and dont bring up topics if you can't handle a frank discussion about them.

BTW: Of course muslims can't handle homosexuality I'm not blaming Aisha for that, she doesnt know any better and probably never will.

But you brought it up, and I think its a real shame for any gays who have to suffer from muslims who have been taught that they have a "horrible disorder".

By Serendipity• 28 Apr 2007 16:14
Serendipity

Well, I'm not going to tell you the whole story about my family problems growing up -- dad committing adultery, messy divorce, re-marriage to his former mistress who turned into the evil stepmother, straight out the Brothers Grimm -- but it wasn't good.

But in my mid-20s I moved to a new city to start a job and asked around amongst friends for house-shares. I was put in touch with a friend of a friend, a vicar. I thought I would use the spare room as a base for a couple of weeks while I found something more suitable, I mean I'm not exactly a wild child, but living in a vicarage and being on my best behaviour?

I ended up living there for 18 months. The vicar was gay and his boyfriend later moved in too, so I lived with a gay couple, who were so lovely, so kind, so caring.

They were around 10-15 years older than me, not exactly a generation gap so sometimes they were more like my peers, simply friends, and sometimes, being that wee bit older, they were more parental.

They (a gay couple) would make far better parents to any child than my own heterosexual parents ever did.

In fact, it really makes me mad when I see news stories (it's been in the news recently in the UK, because a Catholic adoption charity is threatening to close if it is not allowed to continue discriminating against gays), to know that there are children in need of homes, and there are gay couples willing and more than able to give them homes, give them love, and there are some people who disagree with that. The losers are the children. And that's not right.

By azilana7037• 28 Apr 2007 16:10
azilana7037

Please start the thread and I would be one of the active posters. I think I'm gay too...the jolly, happy kind of "gay", that is...lol

*******************************************

What you are is what you have been, and what you will be is what you do now. - Buddha

By Cornellian• 28 Apr 2007 16:08
Cornellian

If we're talking about molesting kids, correct me if I'm wrong but aren't children more at risk of being molested by a priest or other authority figure than a homosexual parent ? Cause lately all the stories I've heard are about people in society who have such a good reputation such as well-respected teachers, preachers, etc. who turn out to be pedophiles. So homosexuals definitely don't have a higher tendency to molest kids.

But about raising children, I believe the orientation isn't a factor but because of the prejudice around the children might getting bullied, called names, and can become emotionally unstable not because of their parents sexuality but because of the pressures of society. So it might be tough to raise kids.

By azilana7037• 28 Apr 2007 16:06
azilana7037

Sorry, sl bu I only see them in books and yes, from shows in tv but never met one. Maybe you could share some information about them?

****************************************

What you are is what you have been, and what you will be is what you do now. - Buddha

By Serendipity• 28 Apr 2007 16:03
Serendipity

Homosexuality and paedophilia are *NOT* the same thing.

By azilana7037• 28 Apr 2007 16:03
azilana7037

Yes.

Studies find no developmental differences between the two groups of children in four critical areas: their intelligence, psychological adjustment, social adjustment, and popularity with friends. (Again) In my experience, I personally realized that a parent's sexual orientation does not dictate his or her children's.

I consider it a senseless myth about homosexuality that gay men have more of a tendency than "normal" men to sexually molest children as no evidence determined to suggest that homosexuals are more likely than heterosexuals to molest children.

************************************************************

What you are is what you have been, and what you will be is what you do now. - Buddha

By Serendipity• 28 Apr 2007 16:02
Serendipity

Yeah, some people are either just plain greedy or just not fussy!

Should I start the: "I'm not gay but..." thread?

I'm not sure whether George Clooney's the one that does it for all guys, but Angelina Jolie is certainly the one that a lot of girls say "I'm not gay but..." about. ;)

By Serendipity• 28 Apr 2007 15:59
Serendipity

Having said that I don't have a problem with people's sexuality, I do have a problem with discrimination and prejudice.

I have a copy of a really quaint old textbook, a Penguin classic that I picked up in an Oxfam bookstore while browsing one day, entitled 'Sexual Deviancy'. It was part of a series of psychology/sociology texts (so it's not prurient or 'deviant' in itself, it was a serious book about a serious issue).

It really, really saddened me, the section on homosexuality. It was written in the 1960s, I think, and it describes the aversion 'treatments' given to homosexuals at a time when homosexuality was still a criminal offence in the UK. People were given painful electric shock treatments and taught to despise themselves and their feelings.

It was really awful stuff.

For those here who are straight and who disapprove of homosexuality, just imagine if some doctors and psychiatrists were trying to make you gay. You can't help being straight, it's just the way you were born. Yet there are medical professionals who are strapping you to beds, sticking electrodes to your head and running I don't know how many volts through your brain. All in an attempt to make you something you're not. Just imagine.

I'm really glad that that no longer happens in the UK. I know there is still some discrimination, and that things aren't perfect, but I'm glad we've moved on and got to where we are on this issue.

Especially since I've also lived in another country where things weren't so progressive or 'englightened', as I would consider it. I've known people, including someone very, very close to me, in China who've grown up in fear of their lives. Up until perhaps 20 or so years ago, to be discovered to be gay in China was to be executed. By firing squad. That was quite some time ago, but there are people in their 30s and 40s and even older who grew up aware of their feelings and their sexuality, but who were literally in fear for their lives.

But even when it was decriminalised and it was no longer and offence, it was still classified as a mental illness, so people remained fearful. It remained a diagnosable psychiatric condition in China until about... April 2001, off the top of my head...

Before that time, even within this last decade, only seven or eight years ago, a person found to be gay in China would have been fired from their job. If you work for the state sector in China -- and although there are an increasing number of private enterprises and the private sector is opening up, most people do, or did at that time, work in the state sector -- then your accommodation was also provided by your danwei, your work unit, your employer.

I know a lot of people here might be able to relate to that feeling of insecurity; that at any point you could get sacked and lose not only your job, but also your home.

But in China, if they were a member of the Communist Party like one of my close friends (not every one is, it's actually considered a huge privilege) you would be stripped of your membership and would effectively be declared persona non grata.

Unlike the kind of insecurity many expats feel, but with a safety net, secure in the knowledge they could head to their home country, re-group, and get another job and get on with their lives, that wasn't the case in China. You would not be able to get another job. You would have no job, no accommodation. Full stop.

I do take certain things for granted in the UK, such as how my friends in the main don't have to worry about getting sacked for being gay or losing their home. I don't really know any gay/bi/lesbian person who's really suffered in that way. Yes, they might have had a fair amount of personal angst in 'coming out', but they knew there was a 'scene', support organisations, that they were accepted by the vast majority of society, even if maybe their parents were a bit shocked or disappointed or upset.

And I appreciate the situation in the UK all the more for having met, known and cared for people who've had such a difficult time, who've even feared for their lives, in China.

And things have changed a lot and they are changing, and I'm very glad about that, having known and witnessed at first hand how some people suffered.

NB: I don't want anyone to get up in arms about human rights in China. To clarify: Homosexuality is no longer a crime in China. It is no longer considered a psychiatric illness. In the years since it was declassified, (instead of HIV/Aids awareness sefe sex literature in gay clubs, they used to leave leaflets telling men to go home to their wives) things have improved although of course after decades of discrimination there is still a bit of a residual taboo, especially among the older generations.

By anonymous• 28 Apr 2007 15:58
anonymous

How about Kathoeys (Lady boys) of Thailxxd.

By anonymous• 28 Apr 2007 15:57
anonymous

You can definately be in the middle or swing both ways I will resist smutty comments about lesbians etc, but suffice to say its not wrong to think George Clooney is good looking, that doesnt make me gay but you couldn't turn him down could you :)

Equally Angelina Jolie, well she is nice too and I definately wouldnt turn her down.

This thread shouldn't be closed its nice to see people air prejudecs, and confirm all mine about them.

By Cornellian• 28 Apr 2007 15:56
Cornellian

I agree with u guys on the point that sexual orientation is inborn, but can't a straight turn gay ? or vise versa ? Is sexual orientation completely defined in the womb ? or can it change due to the environment, upbringing, emotional stability, etc ? Personally, I know homosexuals and after meeting them the whole stereotypical myth about gays,lesbians, bisexuals, etc. was shattered, because infact they are normal people who live normal lives just like the rest of us. Interestingly, I know a guy who was straight, left to Canada for two years and came back gay...I wonder if he was gay all along and tried to hide it or something happened there and changed his orientation, what do u guys think ?

By azilana7037• 28 Apr 2007 15:50
azilana7037

Transvestites are men who uses women's clothes or lingerie for some reason I have.'t met one but i've seen lots of them on tv...lol

However, back home is a different thing. The people i'm referring to really look like ladies. You wouldn't even know the difference (except you know where). They have the bumpers and the whole package makes me (a real woman) envious...lol

Drag queens? We have a lot of them back in the Philippines. Some could even pass themselves as the real McCoy for they have talents too, singers and dancers on top of the list. Some are just what they are, drag queens...but equally talented in making the audience laugh and entertained with their jokes and repertoire.

**************************************

What you are is what you have been, and what you will be is what you do now. - Buddha

By JoeKanuck• 28 Apr 2007 15:43
JoeKanuck

In my opinion, it doesn't matter what I think. It's what the people who are gay think. If they're gay, it doesn't matter "why". It just matters that they are, and it really should only be their business.

I think I should only worry, or be curious, about the source of someones 'gayness' if it ever starts to effect me. Otherwise, I'll just butt out.

By azilana7037• 28 Apr 2007 15:39
azilana7037

yes, you are right! Religion do have their stand on the subject of "sexual orientation". Even (Roman catholic) church does not condone "homosexuality" of whatever kind. But the church also teaches respect for all.

Time changes everything...As far as i could remember, my mother used to say that gays in the family was considered a "curse" to the family. Nowadays, some families accept that their offsprings are "different" and welcomes it.

Should I say, what's good for Peter might not sit well with John?

********************************************

What you are is what you have been, and what you will be is what you do now. - Buddha

By azilana7037• 28 Apr 2007 15:32
azilana7037

I know that this is a controversial topic and I am aware that homosexuality is considered against the law both in Islam and any arab country.

My point is, we discuss this as mature, educated individuals as THIS IS REAL LIFE. We're not talking about it just for the sake of talking. This topic has somewhat a personal tug inside of me, of who I am and the people I love in my life.

Other posters are welcome to share their views, it's what QL is for, right? Trolls just come and go...their existence and comments means nothing to me because I don't know them and they don't know me, per se.

I'd like to see things in different perspectives. I don't judge as much as don't want to be judged.

As I always say, "RESPECT BEGETS RESPECT"

*************************************************

What you are is what you have been, and what you will be is what you do now. - Buddha

By anonymous• 28 Apr 2007 15:32
anonymous

I am really dumbfounded that any religion preaches intolerance, but it is the case. WHY !!!!!! DO YOU HATE!!! because someone tells you too, do you not have any independant thought.

I was brought up Roman Catholic and now don't believe in anything as once I realised what they and other religions stood for I could not be part of any of them. Well maybe Sikhs and Buddists, actually put me down for those two, if we were all like them the world would be a better place.

All religions are riven with so many contradictions that I just don't see the point. Then outlawing it, oh just don't get me started.

My spiderman is GAY everytime you read my posts and watch him you are becoming more gay......watch him....feel the gayness spread over you.....let it in.....

By anonymous• 28 Apr 2007 15:31
anonymous

The whole idea of a family and concept of society is defeated...

By Serendipity• 28 Apr 2007 15:24
Serendipity

I agree almost totally with everything AvidUser has said:

* I also believe people's sexuality is determined in the womb.

* I also don't agree with discrimination and hate against homosexuals.

However, where I perhaps diverge is that I don't believe sexuality is a matter of polar opposites, of heterosexual homosexual. Although AvidUser doesn't say that, that's what comes across to me.

I believe that sexuality is more like a spectrum.

heterosexual --------- bisexual --------- homosexual

I believe people can be anywhere on that spectrum, and that there are a lot more people who are somewhere in between than there are people at the absolute opposites.

I have lots of friends who've kissed or had some kind of sexual experience with someone of the same sex but who define themselves as heterosexual. I have some friends who define themselves as bisexual, and others who define themselves as homosexual. I even have a friend who defines herself as homosexual, she's a lesbian, she has relationships with women, but she has also had short-lived flings with men she's been attracted to.

I don't think that it is possible to pin a label on people so definitively as totally 100 per cent gay or totally 100 per cent straight.

I have no problems whatsoever with people's sexuality (or otherwise, there are also people who define themselves as asexual, they don't desire sexual relations with either sex).

By azilana7037• 28 Apr 2007 15:23
azilana7037

Aisha has no single bad feelings about anyone. She was brought up in a society wherein people with "different sexual orientation" is considered as "sin".

And I understand her, with a muslim blood in me and practiced Islam once in my teenhood.

Like I said in my earlier post, I saw how these people suffer, my own relatives hated my uncle for what he is. But he persevered and he proved everyone wrong.

It wouldn't be right to hate or criticise people just because they could not accept something that's not perceived right in their culture or the society they live in

Let us focus on the topic without interjecting someone's faith in it. Everyone has their views, let's respect that.

***********************************************

What you are is what you have been, and what you will be is what you do now. - Buddha

By novita77• 28 Apr 2007 15:21
novita77

I have nothing against them ... the only things that i feel it is not right when they are allow to adopt and bring up a children. For me (in my opinion obviously) it is just wrong!

By anonymous• 28 Apr 2007 15:19
Rating: 2/5
anonymous

She will start to have a nasty reply from others, it will become chaos like the other similar topic! And she's organizing a get together for QL members, I think it's not a good idea for her to get involve into this kind of topic. She's known to be a good adviser and has lots of good opinions and people respect her! so don't fall for this one!

Just keep dancing, it will do you good!!!

By Greeker• 28 Apr 2007 15:17
Rating: 3/5
Greeker

I think people should be open about it. At the end of the day, it is still your choice. I personally dont have anything against them. There arent a lot of things different between 'us' and 'them'.

They are just the same as me and you and anyone else.

By Serendipity• 28 Apr 2007 15:12
Serendipity

Well, if people don't like this topic, they don't have to read it or respond to it.

There are other topics I don't like, but I just ignore them.

By Serendipity• 28 Apr 2007 15:11
Rating: 3/5
Serendipity

Azilana, those 'gays' who dress like women are not gay.

They are transvestites. There's a big difference. Transvestites are known to be heterosexual (although of course there may be the odd exception). They try to dress like women and pass as women.

Drag queens are different again, though.

They are a really outrageous pastiche of women, their attire and make-up and so on is very theatrical, they are usually performers. Drag queens are usually gay, but they're not really dressing as 'women' as such, they are adopting a larger than life character who happens to be female, and they give free rein to the more 'camp' aspects of their behaviour.

I think if a gay man is dressing as a drag queen, he's dressing as a drag queen, not as a 'woman', it's a very particular representation.

By anonymous• 28 Apr 2007 15:02
anonymous

Take it as an advice! really, not all people appreciate this topic!!! all sort of character you could meet here!!!

Just keep dancing, it will do you good!!!

By Heartless• 28 Apr 2007 15:00
Heartless

Look at that. A girl so clearly sweet, generous and with a belief in God, referring to homosexuality as a 'horrible disorder' which must be 'fixed in whatever way'.

Obviously I dont want to say anything too critical about Islam, but I find this aspect of the religion, the hard rule, very disappointing.

By anonymous• 28 Apr 2007 14:39
anonymous

You are born homosexual as much as you are born left handed, or with red hair pure and simple. Its not mental its not a choice it was decided in the womb at the point of conception.

This makes prejudice aginst homosexuals so hateful. Anyone who thinks any differently is wrong and probably affilliated with an established religion. Why do people hate because they are told to hate. Do people not have independant thought ?. Why do they hate ?

Also the ones that shout loudest against it are also the ones most likely to have issues with it themselves.

Google the name "Ted Haggard" for a case in point.

By azilana7037• 28 Apr 2007 13:54
azilana7037

As far as I know, no arguments either. I'm sorry if i crossed the line.

********************************************

What you are is what you have been, and what you will be is what you do now. - Buddha

By anonymous• 28 Apr 2007 13:47
Rating: 3/5
anonymous

Homosexuality is illegal in the State of Qatar and is something that is disallowed in Islam.

Topics like this are bound to go crazy...let's just respect each other and not start fights.

---

Friends always invite friends to join Qatar Living.

By azilana7037• 28 Apr 2007 13:30
azilana7037

One type is they dress like a woman, act like one;

The other type would be the "closet queens" whereas they look, behave like any normal male. Some even marries and have kids.

I have classmates back in high school that were the athletic jocks, have girlfriends but imagine my surprise when we met at our reunion, they look far prettier than me in their womanly attire. Even my uncle couldn't explain why he grew up to be one. He just shrugged his shoulders and said it just happened to be that he was like that since childhood. I saw the hardship and strife he has to endure before he got the recognition and respect of others.

That makes me wonder why, are they so different from us "normal" people?

**********************************

What you are is what you have been, and what you will be is what you do now. - Buddha

By Aisha• 28 Apr 2007 13:17
Aisha

Wellll : MY OPINION is that I don’t believe that it’s normal at all. I look at it as a horrible disorder and that it needs to be fixed in whatever way. I think it’s dangerous for the human race in the long term.

However, there are good people who are homos. It has nothing to do with how nice their personalities are.. But It’s just disgusting.. sorry guys.

[img_assist|nid=7232|title=Dua|desc=Amen :-)|link=none|align=left|width=440|height=56]

By Gypsy• 28 Apr 2007 13:02
Gypsy

LOL. Anytime Rayyz. IF you think this is entertaining just wait till I do actually meet someone, my dating disasters are very entertaining.

I feel your scorn and I accept it-Jon Stewart

By rayyz• 28 Apr 2007 12:59
rayyz

You are always a source of entertainment whenever I am bored and feel like finding some refreshments or need some unwinding on QL.

Thanks for that, you're asweetheart indeed :)

-----------------------------------------

400 QL Points!!!

Yay! Way to go Ray!

-----------------------------------------

www.e4u.name.qa

By Gypsy• 28 Apr 2007 12:54
Gypsy

Rayyz the moment I meet a guy worth doing anything spicy with I will make sure you are the first to know. :P

I feel your scorn and I accept it-Jon Stewart

By rayyz• 28 Apr 2007 12:52
rayyz

Does that mean we could expect something spicy from you with the man who uses viagra without going to Dubai?

Could I still be the first person to know about it? Puhleezzzz? :P

-----------------------------------------

400 QL Points!!!

Yay! Way to go Ray!

-----------------------------------------

www.e4u.name.qa

By Gypsy• 28 Apr 2007 12:40
Gypsy

Sorry Rayyz, no plans to go to Dubai anytime soon. I will remember the viagra though. :P

I feel your scorn and I accept it-Jon Stewart

By rayyz• 28 Apr 2007 12:36
rayyz

When are you flying to Dubai next? Anxiously awaiting your escapades with the 'viagra' man. Remember the promise few weeks back? :)

Rest of of QL : Too busy searching for an apartment. Life sucks these days, summer had to start in April/May itself :( Yeah thats another thing that summer always starts from April onwards.

Cheers anyway!

-----------------------------------------

400 QL Points!!!

Yay! Way to go Ray!

-----------------------------------------

www.e4u.name.qa

By anonymous• 28 Apr 2007 12:36
anonymous

They are not doing any harm to anyone! they are what they are and no one should judge them the way they are!

Just keep dancing, it will do you good!!!

By azilana7037• 28 Apr 2007 12:35
Rating: 2/5
azilana7037

There are numerous theories about the origins of a person's sexuality, most likely it is the result of a complex interaction of environmental, cognitive and biological factors. In most people, sexual orientation is shaped at an early age. Recent scientific evidences suggests that biology, including genetic or inborn hormonal factors, play a significant role in a person's sexuality.

One should recognize that there are probably many reasons for a person's sexual orientation and the reasons may be different for different people.

****************************************************

What you are is what you have been, and what you will be is what you do now. - Buddha

By Gypsy• 28 Apr 2007 12:28
Gypsy

I know Aisan guys and white guys that are together. A couple of couples actually.

I feel your scorn and I accept it-Jon Stewart

By anonymous• 28 Apr 2007 12:26
Rating: 5/5
anonymous

Never seen a white man & an asian male living together in an apartment.... Its more to do with the state of mind, thats all..

By vishal• 28 Apr 2007 12:19
Rating: 3/5
vishal

Live and Let Live.

Cheers,

By Gypsy• 28 Apr 2007 12:11
Rating: 2/5
Gypsy

I have no problem with homosexuality at all. I don't even think of it. I don't care who you sleep with as long as you're two (or three or four, Etc) Consenting adults and you're happy.

I feel your scorn and I accept it-Jon Stewart

By han19• 28 Apr 2007 12:08
Rating: 4/5
han19

i had started this subject in another thread with my buddies here on QL.i agree with e46M3

but i think i will leave this issue as is.

its too complex a topic and this again can be a real long thread.

i dont think its a mental illenss but its definitely got a lot to do with emotions.then again how connected are mental issues and emotional problems?

happy heart

drive safe because someone is waiting for you at home

By e46M3• 28 Apr 2007 12:05
Rating: 3/5
e46M3

Let them be whatever they want to be as long as they don't want to force it on me. It's been a part of humanity since the dawn of time.

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