men are great friends

well,its hard to accept but he is an irresponsible man, based on what he told me about his past relationships....work wise and as a friend, he's great...always there for his friends, hard working and with ambition...when it comes to relationpships, he only thinks of himself..but its all good..ive come to accept it, i just dont want him going around telling people especially people i know that he's friggin scared of emotional attachment...its not very manly

-CERTAMVS!-

...... very inspiring posts....

honestly, you were all right.

BUT, IT'S EASIER SAID THAN DONE......

THEORY IS EASY, BUT, THE ACTUAL IS VERY DIFFICULT.

are right, when crossing those boundaries both of them should be responsible for going with the relation up or down. the failure of that relation would be the responsibility of both of them especially if they want it and never work on it. If someone really wants it while the other is not, then it would be the fault of the last one.

Working on making this relation a success would never work from one side. Both have to participate and find different ways to make it work, if they really want it. Otherwise it would be better for them to quit it before it cause more pain for both of them later, the more they stay with each other knowing that it won't work ... the more painful later it would be when they get separated later.

colt, never did we (see how ideal it was back then?..)

i mean having friends with guys are far better off than with females...still i got a few male friends, in fact in my family clan most are men...and i consider myself well incommunicable with males rather than with females (mistakenly teased as tomboy because of that..:D )

King Edshel, true, living on the past would not do any good with any relationships...im just making it my guidelines..and all im saying here is, crossing that frienship boundaries with opposite sex sometimes has to be time devotedly thinked of (and must be responsible for any consequences)..wish that him & I could be real good friends and at the same time have a good couple relationship..(it can be work upon right?...just have to work on it, if they really want that relationship)

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just when you are friends, you are concerned somehow about your friend issues and problems but not as if you love that person. Sometimes love would trouble the relation, but I guess that it gets stronger in some cases while in others it would be full with arguments and troubles until it vanishes one day.

The sour taste of that would remain there for a long time, but in the end it has to go somehow and life should goes on. No one can live his/her life living on the memory of the sweet past days. When it is over, then it means it is over. Love hurts, but truth hurts even more than that. Truth would be always truth, but love can be true and can't in the same time.

All your life as youngsters, you never managed to get hooked and do it... why won't you when you'll are old and have 1 leg each in the grave already... damnit viagra is so easily available too... lmao!!!! :-P

lol colt..doesn't necessarily to do that thing if we met up...we'll just talk until the wee hours...

King Edshel, that is what always that puzzles me, while you are friends, you got to tell all the details to this guy, your life, plans, past...all are well and everything is fun..but wait till you plunge yourself into that next level...the communications seem to snap, everything would always be arguments, disagrrements and the good old "friends" relationship of how you communicate, just vanish...just too disappointing and frustrating coz when you take on the leap, you cannot go back...

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like i said... it works both ways and maybe if he's that horrified at the idea of commitment, he's not matured yet.

Anyways... dun worry to much bout it... your only 45 and still have a long way to go... lol!!! i'm running fast, least you'll catch up with me... hee haw!!!!

.... yeah, you're absolutely correct!

lovers can't be good friends. there are some who managed to go beyond the limit.

but, ex-lovers can be the best of friends, based on my experience, i have a healthy relationship with my ex.

thanx for the serious advise...but in my case, i believe possessiveness wasnt the issue with my recent "psuedorelationship"...oh well it might have been, i havent started becoming possessive or anything but he was already imagining things and getting all defensive even if i dont say anything ;-) looking back to it now, i kinda find it silly...guess he's that horrified about the idea of commitment...

-CERTAMVS!-

When you guys meet up when you'll are old and grey, just ensure one of you carries viagra... lol!!!

thats life...

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I am a man who walks alone

And when Im walking a dark road

At night or strolling through the park

When the light begins to change

I sometimes feel a little strange

A little anxious when its dark

Guess that is why I prefer to be alone and keep going and live with that because I find my strength there. When you go to the next level of the relation, you are right nothing remains the same. When we are friends there are some boundaries there, when when we are lovers all those boundaries are no longer there and that is why we see the relation different.

Before I know my limits and the line that I should not cross, but now ... I have no idea because that line somehow was eliminated. There is no more guidelines for the relation, or any directions to follow or a clear path to walk. If we don't know to where are we heading then it would be a disaster, if we know then we would at least be able to continue our journey.

The sweet thing about being friends is, we can't force ourselves or the others to tell us about the things that we don't want to share with them and vice versa. It is different when you are a lover, you feel that you got the right to know about everything. It was not upsetting you before knowing nothing, but it is driving you really nuts now. You were before saying, it is ok if you don't want to tell, but now I need to know what the hell was that.

Going with the relation to a different level would create a big change in the relation and a new starting point from where it would go up or fall down. It depends on how you two see this relation and if you are or not ready for this relation. Want it to work out or let it fall apart because none of you is serious about it.

You are welcome Owen, I don't charge anything for helping other people especially my dear and close friends. How can I? Shame on me if I did :)

hmmmm..did i make it sound sad there...oh well, i still stick with friend can be lovers and lover's can't be (anymore, still hard)..we still do talk about the what if's but as i said, too freakingly afraid to shatter the good friendship we had and 90% of my childhood memories was with him...so i'll just live to that memory..who knows, maybe when we are old and grey, we would meet up again and relive the old memories of our childhood...hmmm feeling nostalgic now..:)

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ok ima give you some serious advise from my personal point of view...

If i have a woman and we're great friends and then we start to be lovers and then she gets kinda possessive, then i know that is surely gonna grow to being overly possessive at some point in time... and thats when I wud start to talk to her and be like umm... dun you think we had more fun as friends... blah blah...

And that is what normally happens from either of the 2, i'm not only saying women get possessive, hell no... men do too...

But yeh a man enjoy's his freedom and to be asking permission to go for boys nite out and stuff like that may deter him from committing altogether...

So... now i forgot what point i was trying to make.... lmao!!!

ur optimism amuses me ;-P

-CERTAMVS!-

that actually made me laugh...silly me ;-) but maybe i havent been hanging out with the wrong men, maybe ive just been hanging out with men who still enjoys their freedom way to much...

well owen, that is sad..hope u get to talk to the guy again someday, seems like u still think about it the what ifs a lot, better to settle it before ur way to old to do anything about it.

-CERTAMVS!-

i know were i am ... i know that i post my reply to the right topic and in the right time.... maybe all you need is to elaborate my reply ??

her it goes .....

men are great friends, not boyfriends...as what you'v said...

my reply is :

men are good friends ..also for boyfriend ...this come first...good friends then for so long it will become your boyfriends....for good things and bad..

but as long as you have live with more friends, your life is happy....you can select again new boyfriends for your friends.... right ?

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It is better to have loved and lost, than to never have loved at all... be BOLD or you'll end up with me... now you dun want that do you? lol!!!

reminds me of this good old friend of mine (ok, childhood sweetheart as they call it)...we were good friends, we got this mutual strong feelings for each other but since the relationship was already almost perfect for us, we couldnt commit nor move on the next level..why? too afraid that we might damage the relationship (ok, admittedly too coward to take the risk)..we are both idealistic...up to now, we still live on the "what if's"..still coward to take the chance...sigh..

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if you say so... here it is...

You have certainly been hanging out with the wrong men...

u can say that again...cant help it if im a friggin' loser magnet..

-CERTAMVS!-

You have certainly been hanging out with the wrong men...

the issue isnt about having true friends or not..we all know how important having them around is..

the thing is, why do some men turn into complete a**es as soon as they smell commitment or emotional attachment??? when everything was all good when u were just plain old friends with them..

-CERTAMVS!-

......yes its a nice feeling to have friends eveywhere...but be careful... dont trust anyone ...

these days some makes friends coz they might have intention in you...physically,mentally,,,or what so ever...that shows not serious intention for a true and good friendship...

can i schedule for counselling :P how much do you charge?..:D

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as long as you have live with more friends, your life is happy....

but if you live in this world without a friends ...how bad it is...

or how bad you are .... how many of you dont have true friends ? ?

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listen to Bon Jovi new album, he says in one of his songs: It is hard to be lovers, but it is harder to be friends. The issue here is, it is either you cut your relation with the man before it evolves into more than friendship. Otherwise you would get burned by the fire of being in nowhere. Is he your friend? or is he your lover? Especially if you feel in your heart something for this friend. So honestly it is always better to make your mind while you are on the shore, if you jump in the sea would you be able to swim or not? would you be able to complete the journey or stop in the beginning? middle or before it ends? A lot of questions here, but I will stop here.

Best Regards

it differs really...good that you got friend with your exes...maybe im just too darn bitter (still) that's why i can't manage to act like chummy with them (?)..

sometimes, i got to question, we were good friends back then, why did i complicate it by going to the next level of relationship...just a thought though..hmmm hmmmm...

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Perhaps the original posting was inspired by the lyrics of Alan J. Lerner's "My Fair Lady". One of the songs is entitled "Hymn to Him".

men are really good friends, the best one i have around here happens to be a full blooded male...i just cant figure out why i cant get along as well with my guy as i do with my male friends..

by the way, i beg to differ about the "lover's cant be friends" thing...im still good friends with some of my exes and we hang out from time to time when we get the chance,its all good..

why do they have to turn into insensitive demented fools the moment u two become more than friends?

-CERTAMVS!-

friends can be great lovers,,,but vice versa..can be but have gaps already..

friendship is the best relatioship..we may go separate ways, live different lives, believe in different aspects but as long as we believe we are friends...FRIENDS forever be!!

so i guess you 2 shud hook up as dykes and have male friends as "Friends" only... lol!!!

have to agree with that...they can be a good friend, but crossing that friendship boarder--everything will falls into sham...would never be the same anymore, which reminds me "friends can be lovers, but lovers can't be friends" (for me, at least)..

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