joke time again

coolquietman
By coolquietman

hi all check out this one about surrogate mothers...

By starseed• 27 Sep 2007 15:37
starseed

Glad you enjoy..

~ your thoughts create your reality ~

By Ragnarock Raider• 27 Sep 2007 14:52
Ragnarock Raider

Q:What's the WORST thing a dwarf can say to your wife?

A: Nice hair!

Love your jokes btw...keep it up =)

Stay safe all.

Perfection does not exist. The question therefore, is: what level of imperfection are we willing to settle for?

By starseed• 27 Sep 2007 13:42
starseed

A boy asks his granny "Have you seen my pills, they were labeled LSD?"

Granny: "F*%& the pills, have you seen the dragons in the kitchen?"

By starseed• 27 Sep 2007 12:05
starseed

Q. What is the difference between a drug dealer and a hooker?

A. A hooker can wash her crack and sell it again.

Q. What's a mixed feeling?

A. When you see your mother-in-law backing off a cliff in your new car.

Q What's the height of conceit?

A. Having an orgasm and calling out your own name.

Q. What's the definition of macho?

A. Jogging home from your vasectomy.

Q. What's the difference between a G-Spot and a golf ball?

A. A guy will actually search for a golf ball

Q. Do you know how New Australians practice safe sex?

A. They spray paint X's on the back of the sheep that kick!

Q.Why is divorce so expensive?

A. Because it's worth it!

Q. What is a Yankee?

A. The same as! a quickie, but a guy can do it alone.

Q. What do Tupperware and a walrus have in common?

A. They both like a tight seal.

Q. What do a Christmas tree and priest have in common?

A. Their balls are just for decoration.

Q.What is the difference between "ooooooh"and "aaaaaaah"?

A. About three inches.

Q. Why do Gay men wear ribbed condoms?

A. For traction in the mud.

Q: What's the difference between purple and pink?

A. The grip.

Q. How do you find a blind man in a nudist colony?

A. It's not hard.

Q: How do you circumcise a hillbilly?

A: Kick his sister in the jaw.

Q: What's the difference between a girlfriend and a wife?

A: 45 pounds.

Q: What's the difference between a boyfriend and a husband?

A: 45 minutes.

Q: Why do men find it difficult to make eye contact?

A: Breasts don't have eyes.

Q: If the dove is the bird of peace, what is the bird of true love?

A. The swallow.

Q: What is the difference between medium and rare?

A: Six inches is medium, eight inches is rare.

Q. Why do women rub their eyes when they get up in the morning?

A . They don't have balls to scratch!

By starseed• 26 Sep 2007 22:22
Rating: 4/5
starseed

Miss Beatrice, the church organist, was in her eighties and had never been married. She was admired for her sweetness and kindness to all.

One afternoon the pastor came to call on her and she showed him into her quaint sitting room. She invited him to have a seat while she prepared tea.

As he sat facing her old Hammond organ, the young minister noticed a cut-glass bowl sitting on top of it. The bowl was filled with water, and in the water floated, of all things, a condom!

When she returned with tea and scones, they began to chat. The pastor tried to stifle his curiosity about the bowl of water and its strange floater, but soon it got the better of him and He could no longer resist.

"Miss Beatrice", he said, "I wonder if you would tell me about this?" pointing to the bowl.

"Oh, yes," she replied, "Isn't it wonderful? I was walking through the park a few months ago and I found this little package on the ground. The directions said to place it on the organ, keep it wet and that it would prevent the spread of disease. Do you know I haven't had the flu all winter."

By starseed• 26 Sep 2007 22:17
starseed

so bad buddy?

By DaRuDe• 26 Sep 2007 22:11
DaRuDe

Defiantly bad DAYS. hmm yea

[img_assist|nid=21285|title=.|desc=|link=none|align=left|width=180|height=180]

By starseed• 26 Sep 2007 22:09
starseed

so which one are you? :) Grumpy? Poor baby! Bad day?

By DaRuDe• 26 Sep 2007 22:07
DaRuDe

hmm yea 7 7dwarfs i heard long time ago dont really remember now. hm no worries. guess i need to get my head serviced. too much mess inside it :)

[img_assist|nid=21285|title=.|desc=|link=none|align=left|width=180|height=180]

By starseed• 26 Sep 2007 22:06
starseed

glad u enjoyed :)

By starseed• 26 Sep 2007 22:05
starseed

have u never heard of the 7 dwarfs? you havn't lived bud:

Happy, Grumpy, Doc, Bashful, Sneezy, Sleepy and Dopey...

By DaRuDe• 26 Sep 2007 22:00
DaRuDe

hmmm really didnot get that was it a joke or did it really happened?

[img_assist|nid=21285|title=.|desc=|link=none|align=left|width=180|height=180]

By starseed• 26 Sep 2007 21:54
starseed

I rear-ended another car this morning. I tell you, I knew right then and there that it was going to be a REALLY bad day!

The driver got out of the other car, and wouldn't you know it!

He was a DWARF!!

He looked up at me and said "I am NOT Happy!"

So I said, "Well, then, which one ARE you?"

And that's how the fight started....

By owen• 26 Sep 2007 20:01
owen

ROFL..silly mrs. smith!....*up to now, still laughing here*imagination gone wild*..:D

[img_assist|nid=12867|title=Nothing in life is to be feared. It is only to be understood.|desc= |link=none|align=left|width=44|height=180]

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