Husband Problem

I give dw (darling wife) space when she gets upset.  This has worked wonders.  If her voice changes and it looks like we might be at it, then I better step out of the situation.  This may work for you.

Don't give up yet.  When a husband and wife come together, nothing should tear them apart (from outside or inside).

get married consoler and try to understand the reason why he is shouting at you and try to speak with him nicely. if he still dont listen. when he is sleeping tied him up and then pour water to his head when he wake up close his mouth and tell him to listen your problem. hehehe... sorry maricel i just joking. dont take it seriously.

Please seek help if you cannot handle it anymore.

 Everybody is right and Everybody is wrong, its depend where you stand

We all have at some point or the other. And many times it’s due to something happening in our relationship with our spouse. It’s bound to happen.

Just don’t carry it over to tomorrow. Leave that bad day where it is…in the past.

You can’t do anything about what has happened in the past, but you can choose to have joy from this point on.

Weeping may endure for a night,

But joy comes in the morning.

Psalm 30:5 (NKJV)

God loves you, has great things in store for your marriage, and promises joy to you. All you have to do is receive it.

So determine to wake up with a new attitude in the morning and seize the new day God has given you. Those precious minutes when you first wake up could determine how the rest of your day goes.

It’s going to be a great day!

Lay your hands on your husband head while he is sleeping and pray to God to renew his attitude. Do that everyday. God is listening and He is powerful and big than your problems. He never fails, just asked for His guidance for every decision you will make.

you need to wait for Red Pope and Mullah Knoxy to tie your knot with her :D

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I think your comment about song in the other thread...

said The song ...

To the left , to left is your boxes, something like that. I got confused with this one..

Is more aprropriate here...

And its everything you own in the box to the left...

Owen...Tell him you want 100 Million at least...

You can't teach experience...

Will you married me Owen ?

Unless you have 5 million pesos in the bank....J/k

LOL

The Red Pope of Qatar Living

Do not invite death by the error of your life, nor bring on destruction by the works of your hands; because God did not make death, and he does not delight in the death of the living. Solomon Chapte

MISUNDERSTANDING?

THAT'S MARRIAGE. COPING WITH THE ODD PERSON!

Life’s……...[img_assist|nid=61048|title=...|desc=|link=none|align=left|width=|height=0]TRUE BLUE

communication here is the key....would be hard on the first atempt but if everything fall into places...the timings, the moods of both..then you can achieve somehow the solution for your marital issues...

also, no one other than the two of you can resolve your issues...good luck..

[img_assist|nid=12867|link=none|align=left|width=|height=0]Nothing in life is to be feared. It is only to be understood.

the root cause of misunderstanding (specially when it comes between husband and wife) may be very simple. Open talk in between plays a crucial role to overcome it and re-gain it to the previous situation.

Talk with him in his free time (when u think is the best time to speak to him) in a silent environment.

There are plenty of tips to protect marital lives!

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www.khetrajmainali.blogspot.com

www.nepalchild.blogspot.com/

how are you doin? hope you're ok, sometimes men tend to get tired, stress from daily office works, approach him and talk to him talk together and discuss everything what your feelings are he might woke up one day that he's pushing you away from him.

Just go girl, don't be sad, you'll gonna settle things right.

After reading that a bright light fell upon me and i saw the error of my ways - LOL!

Just kidding

But that reply was very spiritually enlightening

Now if only i or my wife can remember that when we get into a heated discussion on what to keep and throw out on cleaning day (i believe she has decided that what she needs to throw out is me!)

Anyway maricel best of luck to u, and try not to fightinfront of the kids

BYE BYE

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Shuaibakazi, I don't know, in my relationships when my significant other shouts at me, I shout back (or storm out :P) I don't get down and lick his boots like some here suggest.

"How come I can pick my ears but not my nose? Who made up that rule anyway? How come you say that's the way it is, that's just the way it goes, maybe you should decide for yourself what you can do and what you can say." Ani Difranco

Really u must be the ideal couple, because me and my wife do get into verbal battles all the time

Healthy excahnge of ideas as we wud call it!!!!!!!!! LOL!

Most of the time its my fault though - ( i hope she doesnt read this)

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Really u must be the ideal couple, because me and my wife do get into verbal battles all the time

Healthy excahnge of ideas as we wud call it!!!!!!!!! LOL!

Most of the time its my fault though - ( i hope she doesnt read this)

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therapeutic i guess if its face to face but anyways

thats my view

i accept ur opinion

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Ok, so Maricel is working and helping him with all expenses, and some of these comments suggest that she should be doing all the household chores as well, to make him happy?? I'm sorry but that doesn't add up, and I think it's poor advice to give to someone in her situation.

Maricel, my suggestion is for you to seek counseling. That way there is a neutral figure that can help sort out your problems. Good Luck ☺

It's all about compromise from both sides!!

'Our freedom is but a light that breaks through from another world'

Alexa what wud u do if ur husband shouts at u?

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having someone to converse with, is also therapeutic for Maricel's case.It is not a Dr.Phil 'thing' but somehow whether you trust the man or not,it doesn't matter,it is his profession. Like some of his advices work, some do not.

i like darude reply to hummers rock though

"help the poor chick " - LOL!

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"The success of marriage is on the hands of wife. In marriage, the man is the boss, but in reality, the wife is the COMMANDER in CHIEF,,,, hey guys, anyone disagree?"

Compeletly disagree and a bit insulted. A Marriage is in the hands of BOTH husband and wife and NOONE is the boss. Sincerely I hope she doesn't listen to any of this, treat your husband like he's king Bull.

"How come I can pick my ears but not my nose? Who made up that rule anyway? How come you say that's the way it is, that's just the way it goes, maybe you should decide for yourself what you can do and what you can say." Ani Difranco

And thanks cornelian for correcting me

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I just feel that bringing such trivial things into a thread is very childish

Its not like we are all doctor phills over here

and even him i do not trust

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Actually Shuaibkazi, the saying goes like "One hand can't clap" and there's another one "It takes two to tango". Pretty much the same meaning: it takes two people to cause a problem, and two people to fix the problem.

Hmmm qatarisun, don't worry men weren't made to listen lol.

I'm not always right, but I'm never wrong -Garfield

help the poor chick

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Problems are never caused by any one person,

There is a saying which says

"the sound of a clap is always caused by two hands not one"

We have heard ur side of the story now bring in ur husband so that we can hear his side of the story too.

Anyway i wish u the best of luck in solving ur family problems

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..retahnam is that "poor woman"...lol...

but seriously, I understand what retahnam means. We have to look into ourselves first, do we do our best to make our partner happy? and by the way there is nothing wrong with these words "make the partner happy".. isn't that what we all want and expect from our partners? we expect him/her not to be selfish, to take into consideration our opinions and needs, to be there for us when we need it...so we have to do exactly the same in return: to make him/her feel happy…

...ksa..how are you doing???

..I am fine, perfect, great! just totaly exhausted lately… lol..

exactly like Maricel sais:"He loves me and I am happy with him, but he's not listening to me, he can't understand me and he always angry & shouting at me"....LOL....

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Whatever Makes You Happy...

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you said you've been married for 2 years now.Irregardless those years of courtship, I don't think you're ready to 'pack-up & go' just like that. I believe on what they called:'turbulent years' of married life.

On the brighter side...I saw this article that tells about..."couples who often fights, stay longer". Well, look how ironic is it?:)

Why can't you think of yourself and your child at the same time?

'Our freedom is but a light that breaks through from another world'

My two cents: softness in behavior and TONE is the key to a successful marriage. Any problem can be solved in a descent way by sitting together and putting the egos aside.

Isn't it true that something which is extremely serious for us today is a joke for us tomorrow and we even think how on earth we gave that much importance to those little things.

Yep I disagree, in marriage the man is not the boss. I want to be a partner not an employee or under staff.

I'm not always right, but I'm never wrong -Garfield

I think marriage will be successful if you do or you can do the things like retahnem said. I think you married in young age. Two years marriage is not well enough to know each other(husband and wife) Marriage is not like a game to play, that you alone will hold on the control as you like. Men are naturally bossy. And you mentioned you are helping him for everything. Of course, husband and wife should help each other. And we wives, should not sum up what we share for our husband, especially if you are sharing more because you are earning more. Husbands expects wives to understands them, to serve them, to listen to them, to love them whatever they are. Husbands in return should be passionate, understanding, romantic, caring, kind and a good provider above all. Both of you should give each time to listen to each problem. Problems between husband and wife should only be between you and him. Just like Qatarisun said, no one will give you the solution of your problem. You wrote here your side, we really don't know his side, unfair isn't it? You are just so upset by now that you made these statements, whilst you know it isn't right. Give yourself a time, take a glass of water and be ready to speak softly as you could and ask what has been gotten him to shout. If you started a soft voice, he too will.

Be patient to listen to what he say, and if he finished then ask him to listen to you too. Don't turn your back from him, neither let him turn his back to you. Don't ever talk of divorcing, you are young and will have a long way to go. Think of your kid not of yourself. The success of marriage is on the hands of wife. In marriage, the man is the boss, but in reality, the wife is the COMMANDER in CHIEF,,,, hey guys, anyone disagree?

...is speaking from her experience and there is nothing ridiculous about it.That's how a marriage works in some cultures and I dont see anything wrong in that. Most of us here on QL are 'modern' and have both partners working and hence the idea of so called 'subjugation' appears funny :)

Life is Beautiful...Indeed!

me neither hummer! LOL

so according to her, if I don't iron my husband's shirt in the morning, he has the right to yell and shout at me ? Excellent.

I'm not always right, but I'm never wrong -Garfield

Wow, I would never have guessed...LOL

'Our freedom is but a light that breaks through from another world'

Yes time heals all wounds, and sometimes u need to give ur partner some space, but if there's an obvious problem then time will only harm the relationship because the individuals will start growing further and further apart and nothing will be resolved.

Before giving eachother some time, talk about ur relationship, how u feel and what u like and dislike about it, what u would like to change and what the other person would like to change. Just have a casual talk, no shouting no yelling just trying to understand eachother. The most important thing in those talks is ATTITUDE. If u talk with the intention of fighting then it won't work. U should listen more than talk, u should have an open mind and have the intention of trying to understand the other person.

After u've had a good long discussion, then take some time apart to think about it and see how u feel about it. I'm sure there are reasons for his anger issues and if ur patient with him and show him the love and affection he's looking for then he'll open up. Or...he might be just an ass. But from the sound of ur post, he sounds like he loves u both but doesn't know how to communicate with u properly.

Lastly, if all that doesn't work, try counseling. But divorce should be ur last resort.

Like Qatarisun said, after all said and done, it's ultimately ur decision to make. That's just my two cents worth. Good luck :)

I'm not always right, but I'm never wrong -Garfield

That was all a joke right? Otherwise I pity the poor woman you are with!

'Our freedom is but a light that breaks through from another world'

I feel for you Maricel. I remember my first post here is parallel to your problem. I was also ready to leave but my husband. We talked and agreed that we both have to change. Try to communicate or even set up a time to talk and agree that talking and no shouting. Also, try to socialise a bit it might give you a break about your problem. My life got better here when I met some friends and now I am hardly at home.

You did rock out there in your post buddy...first of all...how have you been girl, hows things going...long time...

And second, Retahnam...O please, was that all true, you must be out of your stupid brains...yuck yuck...how could you write all that crap...just cant stop laughing...

Shaheem@qatar: Good writeup buddy, that was pretty decent...and well explained...

And finally, Marciel, the best out of this is give your hubby a little time alone to figure out things and get his priorities in order...(as Darude Mentioned)...Time heels a lot of confusions, wounds, etc etc etc...so give it time and it will be all good...

Have a lot of patience...and try not to fuel things up...

So take it coolly, and trust yourself in the relation...things will come good for you, atleast I hope they come good for you...

Cheers...and take care...

...silent treatment. That's the worst a wife can do to a husband.

Life is Beautiful...Indeed!

...Maricel, listen, I don't know whether you have to keep your marriage going on or to get divorced...

...the only thing I know for sure: no one on the earth will never give your such advice on going this way or another...it is YOUR choice and YOUR decision.. and definitely it doesn't come that easy, over a QL thread..you want QLers to decide YOUR future, future of your husband, future of YOUR daughter??? ya'ani, hey guys.. let's vote: marriage or divorce.. ok… 40 against 48.. so I am getting divorced.. insane…

Way to divorce is looooooong, baby....

You have to start from bringing up this issue to your husband in a mature way, from having a discussion with him… from analyzing yourself as retahnam said... from trying different models of behavour of acting, from working HARD on the issues… and if the problem is still unsolved, go to marriage counseller as Gypsy said...they might help your to highlight the problems, to deeper understand the roots of these problems, to suggest the ways for solving these problems... but the last decision will be YOURS, no one's else! and don't ask your friends/relatives/co-workers/QLers should you stay married or get divorced……

you know why my first “advice” was just “to listen to the man”.. coz you sound so immature…

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Whatever Makes You Happy...

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leave him alone for a while let him stay while you go travel around and enjoy urself.

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there are lot of people who have similar problems in life after marriage. They usually try their level best to forgive the husband each time they do so... I think u should try to do something that he likes alot and not to fight with him or put in an arguement when he comes back from job, coz most of the people are fed up of work and he expects his wife to be atleast understanding.

So try not to argue for small small things, try to forgive him as he loves u and loves ur daughter alot. I think he does this sort of things coz he is frustrated at work. Give him all love he wants, find his problem.

try to understand him still....try to think why he is angry....and why he shouts at you??? u did wrong and he became angry???? did you lie to him or u shout at him first? or u insist what you want even he is telling to you NO? Did you cook for the meals? you served him the food before he left for work and he came back for work??? Did you massage him??? Is ur room clean always??? Is his clothes finely iron??? are you giving him time to talk about things??? Did you ask him what he wants to eat???? This questions will help you atleast evealuate urslef in the first place...atleast, you will know if the problem is in ur part......

I suggest a marriage counseller. You don't want to toss the marriage away out of hand when you have a daughter.

"How come I can pick my ears but not my nose? Who made up that rule anyway? How come you say that's the way it is, that's just the way it goes, maybe you should decide for yourself what you can do and what you can say." Ani Difranco

ok.. here you go:

shut your mouth up and LISTEN TO THE MAN!

do you like it?

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Whatever Makes You Happy...

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