Father having an Affair
By knoxcollege •
Seriously I am shocked myself though I had a feeling that something is going on. But as I was the one out of the country and frequently as I am offshore so I didnt see this coming.
Anyways long story cut short my dad is having an affair. So how do I confront it and him. I guess thats why I was getting all those wrong numbers.
This was the last thing I was expecting. Some great life.
WTF
Knox...sorry buddy...to hear that.
My advice would be not to discuss this with him. Just pretend that you dont know, but be the loving son that you have always been. Ask your mom to be more loving to him, to take more care of him.
If anything is going to wean him off that girl its the love a family has for him irrespective of his behaviour. You thing he does not feel guilty enough?
You cannot talk sense into a old man having an affair (say with a 18 yr old girl), more difficult if the girl is good in bed. If you confront him he is going to hide the affair from you or he might kick you out of your house or he might marry her. In all 3 options your mother comes to know about the affair and that is going to ruin her life.
Remember he is your father, you have to be with him through thick & through thin, through ups and downs.
The affair might last.... what ....1 to 2 yrs ...after that its just going to fade.
I agree, you dont know what goes on in a relationship, maybe your mother knows, I think you should say nothing and forget about it. Dont wreck their marriage when you dont know the full details.
You know that he is having an affair, my opinion is not to tell your mother and make her unhappy until you know what is going on.
You are the minor and his son you can talk to him but you might not like the answers and again it might blow over, I would stand back and take a good look at the situation.
If you tell your mother the marriage may be brought to a head, myself as a woman would not like to hear this as it would certainly bring a big rift in the marriage, after that nothing will be the same.
Monogam men are seldom in this world even if they profess to be. As far as I understand he can also legalise this and make (the affair) inot a second wife so...........
open rebuke is better than sacrifice in a nice way....
as the Father hath loved me so have I loved you continue ye in my love(john15:9)
If your father is 'conservative' as you say, maybe you shouldn't broach the subject.....
I agree with u Happy2...for sure knox, your father will deny that his having an affair...(is't lady or man???)joke!!!Consider your mothers feeling, if it hurts u what your father did, it is more painful for your mother if she will know about that...
Hmmmmm...that's why I don't like to get married now...
It's easy to ask you to consider talking to your father about it. I don't necessarily think this will solve the problem, it might aggravate it. I know what a conservative secretive society is.
You’re the only one here who knows your father and mother well. Your mom might already know about but silent. Your father will turn against you and the confrontation might (I say might) result in divorce. Also, it might not be his first, but your first to know about.
That’s one thing you need to keep in mind. Don’t think only about yourself and the contempt you feel towards him now. Think about her, how will she support herself, is there someone she can turn to.
You will surely feel betrayed and an uncomfortable, would you consider trying to feel out if your mother is already aware of it or not?? Are you capable of doing that?
Sorry you have to deal with an issue like this....If you do decide to confront him, i wouldnt worry about him playing the "respect you elders" card given the predicament he is in...It is a hard one for you......
talk to your father over some beers, or invite him out to a place where you can drink and talk, and drop the issue. discuss it like adult person do.
LOL Kelly, must know from first hand :P
tra la la
===================================== http://www.qatarliving.com/node/58409
OK Kelly, where did you get that stat?? 95%???
tra la la
Most of married men have affairs. I think it is not the kids business to discuss such things with parents.
===================================== http://www.qatarliving.com/node/58409
Well...i guess he bond his self to make ur life charmfull n gave u happiness of life...
now its his turn to just watch up his life too...give him a chance...atleast he need also to renew the days..which he lost by give n bringing u the real tast of life...
sorry i got mistake..or hurt u r feelings..but thts may b the fact too..
I think you should consider both parents feelings. Obviously your mother whether she knows or does not know about the affair. And your fathers feelings as he may have made a mistake or had some other reasons that would be hard to explain.
The best thing to do is not take it personally. Obviously your love for your mother will be overwhelming. And the feeling of betrayal must be constantly on your mind since you found out. And some men really do love their families and do things which they shouldn't. However, support your mother in whatever decision she makes and stand by her side. Since, if as you say, your society is conservative then she will really need your love and support.
Where is your mother?
Life isn't about how to survive the storm, but how to dance in the rain!" - UNKNOWN
You gotta be on the other side of fence to figure it out. It might be the circumstances.................
Whatever might be the case, he looks like one of my friends, 53 years old, ask him about his age and he will answer.......................
Above belt 53 under, still 18
Knox, rather sounds like your Father is the spoiled brat, not you. On the other hand if you do talk to him about it you may be told to butt if he considers it none of your business.
Me, I would definitely wade in for my Mother.
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Love is the answer...
OK knox blame it on the west....
anyway do you feel obliged to talk to him.... would it be appropriate just to stand to one side?
Maybe your mum knows but chooses not to acknowledge.
I am worried that if you confront the issue you will force action and then your dad might leave your mum.
Please try googling advice about 'midlife crisis'..... he probably doesn't love the girl but maybe using the concept to help him through a life change.
It will not be very easy moreover the place where I come from is very conservative. Chances are that I will be called a spoiled brat who got influenced by the west and lost the respect of elders.
yes agree with maricel, talk to him nicely without sound judgemental and try to understand his reason. it is hurting when somebody we thought as our hero in life suddenly is not that pure heart after all
confront him but keep it simple
Everybody is right and Everybody is wrong, its depend where you stand
This happened to a friend of mine, she was the one who found out her Father was having an affair. She finally told her mother, and the father denied it and called her a liar!
Eventually he admitted that he had been having an affair, but his denial and alling his daughter a liar ruined their relationship.
My advice to you, let your father know you know what he has done and then take yourself out of the situation because things will just get really messy and painful for you. It's your fathers mistake, and he needs to deal with it.
tra la la
After getting your share of surprises you dont get the shocks no matter whatever happens.
Guess the same has happened to me now.
im sorry for that. Just talk to him in a nicely way and ask him why he did that.
lucky daddy having affair AGAIN :D
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