Why Do Indian Women Get Married?
I met up with a friend from India recently.
Indian men are good drinkers, I’d say.
I had three pints of beer while he downed four easily like mineral water.
Then, one of his indian friends came along and sucked down a pint in ten seconds.
(Omg...this is a real vampire...)
The beer was good.
Neither one of us suffered a hangover the following day.
Beer, goooood.
Much as i would like it to be, this entry isn’t about beer.
This friend from india is easily one of the most colorful characters among the people i know.
Through our conversation, i got to know some really intriguing things about India.
Their dowry system, in particular.
The conversation we had went something like this:
Friend: so in India, we have the dowry system.
Me: Yeah i know that one. The bride’s family has to give a large sum of money to the groom’s family right?
Friend: Right. It is strange because not only does the bride’s family “lose” a daughter, they lose a large chunk of their wealth at the same time.
me: how much would the dowry be usually?
Friend: Well, it depends on the status of the two families.
Me: Say if someone were to marry you, how much would it be?
Friend: Taking into consideration my current job and my salary, and the fact that it requires me to travel around the world…
Me: Yeah…
Friend: …the dowry would be equivalent to many hundreds thousands QR in relative terms.
Me: (horrified) hundreds thousands ?!
Friend: Yeah!
Me:Seriously, hundreds thousands ? who would be able to afford that? even for the rich, hundreds thousands QR is still a lot of money!
I still can’t get over it even after three days.
He also mentioned that up to today, there are still many arranged marriages in India.
The parents get to decide who their children marry. Now, not only would the woman’s family have to give his family a large sum of money, she does not even get to marry someone she loves!
So, why do indian women still get married?
My friend couldn’t answer this question. nor could his indian friends.
One more thing. If the bride’s family could afford a large dowry, it would mean she’s wealthy enough to fend for herself.
What would she need a husband for?
I just don’t get it.
Am i being too practical and missing something here?
Danke swissie:
1. Arranged Marriages = one raindrop under millions opinions
2. Dowry = one raindrop under millions opinions
.
More?
i will not say right or wrong.it is only the meaning i have.but i am just one raindrop under millions.
you know...
:)
and i will not change it.
if they think its the best for them,well ok,they should do it.for myself i am happy to be reasonable for my own desicions.sometimes they are wrong,sometiems right.but i am old enough to decide for myself.
thats all.
for every part in my life.
you got it?
.Love you swissie ( what about your dowry?).
No one lady is ugly, the drink it's not enough!"
someonenew, thx very much
CONTRAS 1. love marriages = not really for
PRO 2. parents find a guy = ok, but depends on compatibility
Any PRO / CONTRAS...?
supercool to buy a husband/wife like meal in a supermarket.
hurraaahhhh!!!!
money makes the world go round!!!!!
Well swissy u cant live on love and fresh air can u?
I dream of a better tomorrow where Chickens can cross the Road without having their motives questioned - Unknown
TO BE OR NOT TO BE,THATS THE QUESTION!
my blog:http://busbro193.blogspot.com/
Arranged marriages nowadys dont really happen how it was portrayed by Dracula(i'm sure he didint mean any harm..he just didint know) Did you guys watch princess Diaries part 2? Then u'll know what i'm talking about. Parents nowadays play a role in selecting the groom...basically coz their experinced(they're already marrried at least once) and they know a lot about family and financial security compared to the children who's busy pursuing their career and other wise too busy to look out for a guy for themselves. I'm not really for love marriages... coz love is a very relative term. And for a successful marriage i would say more than love its compatibility that matters. Now I would say a person's character is defined by his upbringing, the society he interatcs-his frnds n family. Now imagine if ur a girl and ur parents can find a guy for u who has a similar background as u and his parents are of a similar background as ur parents and he interacts with a similar society. The chances of being compatible is very high. So if ur parents actually find a guy(s) like this and ask u to chose...go out with them talk to them and see if u like the guy and then get u married to one of those guys whats the problem???
I dream of a better tomorrow where Chickens can cross the Road without having their motives questioned - Unknown
Thanks Murali!
1.Give part of their assets or money to the girl = not wrong
.
.
Any PRO / CONTRAS...?
No one lady is ugly, the drink it's not enough!"
I am asking you again Why do you call it Dowry. The parents give their share of money to their daughter even less than what they give their son....
Give part of their Assets or Money to the Girl is wrong??
Well morning girl, how you doing...
Yes that was me, but is that YOU in the first place with that call sign for me "MY Ksarat", two things, hope you are not drunk, and hope you are really thinking on that CAKE DRIVE...lol!!!
Righto, how you doing girl well yes thats my quick view on the situation...
Love is Great, To be in LOVE is Superb but at the end of the day, to BE MARRIED HAS TO BE FABULOUS (Love or Arranged)...if thats not happening, then we need to go back to BASICS and START OVER, and always remember, NEVER EVER TAKE YOUR PARTNER FOR GRANTED, THAT IS A BIG NO NO AND VERY DANGEROUS!!! (tsk tsk, Hallie, now what do you say about the CAKE Drive...?LOL) (Smoke isnt Watching, I sent him on a Ciggie Break...LOL)))
Wow My ksarat! Is that you?!
Life is beautiful !!!
Thanks for advices!
1. Arranged Marriages = nothing wrong
2. Dowry = wrong
Any comments PRO / CONTRA...?
Well Dracula, please be advised that your thread contains questions from two different views, Dowry and Arranged Marriages...
Indeed, this happens, Dowry, this is something that has been banned according to the Marriage Acts, so now does this mean that this doesnt exist... ? Well many of you would say no it does exist, and rightly so that it does exist, it exists in some sections of the soceity who are still living from the past...villages, not educated families, and those sections it does exist...but then again, as someone already put it upstairs, its reducing and moreover even if the Girl's family is showering in money it is normally catered for the GIRL...in todays World...so hopefully this will get reduced and eliminated sooner or later (not completely though)...
And for the second thought, Arranged Marriages, well for this my friend, I have to ask ya, what difference does it make if the parents decide a bride/bridegroom for you, well please mark my words, like a coin has 2 sides, there are 2 sides for this question as well...1st side, where the Parents DECIDE for the child, 2nd Side where the parents list out Choices for the child...the first one again is going away vanishing pretty soon, even the child in today's world does get a say in whether she wants the probable match or not...and India on the whole is doing good in development and the younger generation of India, probably one of the most efficient WORKFORCE of the WORLD, do know about what they need or want in life in their partners...
Love marriage is something that if works out is real good but if it doesnt you have no one to blame but yourself, but Arranged Marriages, are something that are agreed and ARRANGED UPON much intervention through a lot many factors and then brought to across the table, checks on Family status, potential bride's social status, employment status, etc etc etc...which most often dont go down...in terms of failure frequency...
I mean look at this, Love Marriages are fantastic, but after marriages, are a touch more vulnerable to have turbulences by ppl taking their opposite and better halfs for granted, but Arranged marriage is where LOVE starts after Marriage, and there would be a whole lot to learn and know about your partner which would just spice up the relation...;)
Ofcourse even arranged marriages are vulnerable for turbulences (I Mean which relation isnt...) but then again, its a bit less...because there is a lot of research that goes in...
So yea, Arranged Marriages are nothing wrong according to me...but DOWRY is something that is to be acted upon by putting those who accept/demand/give dowry BEHIND BARS!!!
CHEERS>>>HAPPY READING!!!LOL!!!
Well, the dowry scene has been there for quite some time, no denying it. n the reason why they still used to get married is to gain social acceptability. An unmarried gal, beyond a certain age, wud b lookd upon as something of a strange bird.(This is applicable in quite a few cultures, I'd say).
Also, I'd say the scene is changing quite fast, I would say it would be much lesser 5 yrs,10yrs down the line, the way dowry related issues r tackled by the media n the law. (except mayb in the more remote areas)
The only consistent feature in all of your dissatisfying relationships is you.!
Why you people call it a Dowry so it means in North India and other places the share for the girl is not given.
It is not dowry but the share of the girl is given to the girl and it will be on her name not on the guys name.
So now tell me what you call it as a Dowry or a Share??
Thx.,coolio78
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Valid point!
.
No one lady is ugly, the drink it's not enough!"
It's true the dowry system still exists in India. But it's completely not true if you term it for the whole of India.
As many people around the world are well aware that there are hundreds of different communities, religions, castes and cultures exsiting in India. A person coming from the Northern part of India could be a completely different person when compared to a person from South India. Their lifestyle, language or looks will be in no match whatsoever, and you could be surprised to call both of these individuals Indians.
Likewise the Dowry system, it exists in many communities but not all over India. The parents still do decide for their son/daughter's future soulmate, it's true for some families, but again not true for all. Things are changing slowly but surely. Nowadays in the greater Metropolitan cities, like for eg., Mumbai, Delhi, Bangalore, people are getting married in different castes and cultures. These cross culture marriages are nullifying the Dowry and starting a new trend.
There is a large community of muslims in India and they have traditionally the reverse system, and that is the Meher (just like most Arabs). Meher is given by the Groom to the Bride in return for marriage. Even they are Indians.
The Indian women are becoming more and more independent and it's not like before when they had no choice, and had to go by their parents wishes, now they are in a position to choose their own soulmate.
I could go on and write a thesis on this, but I dont wanna bore all of you, I'm just trying to make my point clear. Yes there is a dowry system (madness), but not in India as a whole.
ahhahah Nice one :-)
Funny, in India husband receives large dowry,in Philippines he receives bride's family to take care of.
See the girls in India are not foolish to go ahead with arranged marriage. If they are doing an arranged marriage she is getting the money from her parents so that her life is secured. She also gets married to a person who is already well settled in life so that she will not struggle.
Let discuss a love marriage example. What will happen if the guy is not settled after getting married?? Even if she brings her money the money will be spent.
What will you do with love the whole life if there is no money with you to survive to get minimum needs....
That is the reason if you do arranged marriages all this things will be taken care before even if you are not happy with the person atleast you have everything with you to lead a good life.
This is my opinion.
Now you deceide what would you like to drint beer or Blood?????
heyyy you are practical and not missing any thing..... do you know that girls are taking step against that and they prefer not to get married rather than getting married to the greedy guy. it's only happening now in lower class where people are not educated or they have any problem in the girl so they give good amount of money or the parents who wants to show their status and don't love their daughter at all. but the girls are now aware and they don't allow their parents to give dowery. i know it's still there but now revolution agaist that has started already. but really those who are still giving dowery are the main culprit. they know what will happen if they won't be able to give this in future so better save their daughter and give them good life.