Everyday tips
1. If you're choking on an ice cube, simply pour a cup of boiling water down your throat. Presto! The blockage will instantly remove itself.
2. Avoid cutting yourself when slicing vegetables by getting someone else to hold the vegetables while you chop.
3. Avoid arguments with females about lifting the toilet seat by using the sink.
4. For high blood pressure sufferers – simply cut yourself and bleed for a few minutes, thus reducing the pressure on your veins. Remember to use a timer.
5. A mousetrap placed on top of your alarmclock will prevent you from rolling over and going back to sleep after you hit the snooze button.
6. If you have a bad cough, take a large dose of laxitives. Then you'll be afraid to cough.
7. You only need two tools in life – wd-40 and duct tape. If it doesn't move and it should, use the wd-40. If it shouldn't move and it does, use the duct tape.
8. Remember – everyone seems normal until you get to know them.
9. If you can't fix it with a hammer, you've got an electrical problem.
I like no 3.. Will try at home tonight and let you know the results...
glad it gave you a laugh...
"I'd rather have a bottle in front of me than have a frontal lobotomy". (Anon)
that was great!!!! Am laughing and my sides are aching!!!
One my favourite DVD's snapped in half when I took it out of it's case. I stuck it back together with duct tape and shoved it in the player. The disc refused to revolve so I sprayed it with WD40, the player blew up and threw all the circuit breakers in the house. I tried to push all the circuit breakers back to the 'on' position but they kept jumping down to 'off'. So I pushed then all back to the 'on' position and stuck them down with duct tape. The circuit breaker box started smoking so I closed up the box and sealed it with duct tape. Then I tried to call the fire brigade, but I dropped my 'phone because my hands were covered with WD40 and it shatterred to pieces on the ground. Now I'm standing here watching my house burn to ashes and I'm wondering where I went wrong...
"I'd rather have a bottle in front of me than have a frontal lobotomy". (Anon)
so true. love it
In the Cookies of Life, FRIENDS are the Chocolate Chips
www.bastook.com
..a very nice collection of some useful tips... i think i will use a few of them :)
really good tips there, especially the one about the bad cough uhum :)
#6 is a good practical tip, lol.
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Never go younger by a month, a hard bod is no substitute for wisdom.
-Angelica Houston, Material Girls
You would be surprised at the things I can fix with duct tape and a butter knife!! :D