muslim men and western woman marriage

If you doubt your husband is doing something wrong... he probably is... ;-)

Just kidding... anyway, I'd jus like to point out that I think your religious belief and your marital suspicions should be treated as separate issues... Your faith is betweem you and Allah. Your husband just brought you closer to Allah... now don't let him be the reason that pulls you away from Allah as well...

This is not a matter of faith, it is a marital issue.

With regards to so many Western women having unsuccessful marriages with men from the East, I guess it is only natural that the cultural differences should impose a higher demand on the relationship and consequently, many such marriages fail...

But there are many success stories as well... and the success of these marriages is due to how well the partners have learnt to adapt to each others cultures, all the while maintaining respect for each other

You can get some expert opinion from the Islamic cyber counselors ( Prof. Shahul Hameed from Islam on line.net and the next is Dr. zakir naik –who is also medical doctor)

So I know how you feel. I am glad for you Mottogirl that you are feeling better..

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HE WHO DARES WINS

Thanks to every one for the comments.

I understood perfectly realsomeons initial response. And you "hit the nail on the head" After your response I pondered weather my husband is stronger in his culture or faith! I feel he is more so strong in his faith of the Quran. I already know that he lives a disciplined life based on the Quran.

Also, just to point out most people that immigrate to canada come from a culture that is rich in tradition, unfortunitly you do see many of these people change and not always for the worst. However, from what I have seen mostly in young men that immigrate here, their whole being changes. I won't get in to the semantics of these bad or indifferent behaviors. But lets just say they seem to lose an innocents of them that I have witnessed in cultures from around the world.

In any case just want to say that I am glad that I posted this form. I have gotten so much help in understanding my feelings and over the last few days have felt really positive about my marriage. I actually had a great sleep last nite!

Thanks ya all

1st- sorry guys seams i repeated my reply 2x.

Britexpad: A religious guy doesn't mean that he's a cleric. Normally clerics are very cult.

Regarding a cult guy, i mean someone that can think with his own head and not say that something is like that just because it's written somewhere, but i admit i made an error, i pretended to say an inteligent guy.

Only God Can Judge Me

الله فقط يمكنه محاكمتي

I am you and you are me, if you love i love, if you suffer i suffer

أنا أنت, و أنت أنا, إذا أحببت نفسك أحببت نفسي, إذا عانيتَ عانيتُ

The Question Fatima asked was she is having doubts, well like realsome said and it is abosoluted true and he is speaking for many people in the same situation.

Coming back to the point, the problem in this kind of marriages is two things, THE CULTURE and THE RELIGION,

For Mulsim to change is culture may be an option to change his Religion there is no option. So if your husband is more worried about what people will think and say then he is man of culture and if cares about what you think and how you feel then he is man of Religion.

So my dear I hope you can analyse this better and really findout what is just lust of the world and what people say or was it true love and the tolerance and the life here and the hereafter..

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HE WHO DARES WINS

Realsome, I hope i didn't really read what u said so i'll go back, 1 second:

"If your husband is a man of culture then you will have problem but if he is a man of faith there wont be problem.

so your doubt should be clear when this two is clear for you. "

Uau, i'm astonished, you really said it, so, if you have no culture, but religious, than he's a good guy, instead if he's an inteligent guy with culture he'll be problematic????

What has been said is that those suicidal bombers are normally people with

Sorry but in the West, we leurned that someone with culture is superior to the religious guy because the guy with culture will think with his own head, the religious will do what the Holly book tells him to do.

Like i have said previouslly, i have a Morroquian girlfriend, so i went thereand a complain that was made to me by some moroquian women was that men at Morrocco had a huge lack of culture, and because of it lots of them are looking for Europeans.

Only God Can Judge Me

الله فقط يمكنه محاكمتي

I am you and you are me, if you love i love, if you suffer i suffer

أنا أنت, و أنت أنا, إذا أحببت نفسك أحببت نفسي, إذا عانيتَ عانيتُ

"Sorry but in the West, we leurned that someone with culture is superior to the religious guy because the guy with culture will think with his own head, the religious will do what the Holly book tells him to do."

Where did yu learn this? I the West, priests , Rabbis and Imams are highly regarded nd often sogh out for their advice..

As far as "culture" is concerned, wat is your definition of that?

I know many so called cultured people who are very stubborn, obstinate and obtuse..

bro i was talking about her muslim husband not all religions persons, what i mean is that if he is man of faith which i mean that he is practising Muslim, this makes the whole thing, it sets fine lines between the family.

and the man of culture i mean, there is somethign called Cultural Islam in some countries which isnt Islamic teaching but some cultural stuff that people try to translate into religion and its common in many countries and if he is someone into this stuff there will be alot of conflicts and misunderstanding.

so it needs first that the person understands between Islamic Culture and Cultural Islam, Dr bilal philips explained this well in his last speech at Qatar Islamic center.

Poverty is not for the sake of hardship. No, it is there because nothing exists but God. Poverty unlocks the door -- what a blessed key!

- Jalaluddin al-Rumi

Realsome, I hope i didn't really read what u said so i'll go back, 1 second:

"If your husband is a man of culture then you will have problem but if he is a man of faith there wont be problem.

so your doubt should be clear when this two is clear for you. "

Uau, i'm astonished, you really said it, so, if you have no culture, but religious, than he's a good guy, instead if he's an inteligent guy with culture he'll be problematic????

Maybe that's why there are so many suicidal bombers, lack of culture.

Sorry but in the West, we leurned that someone with culture is superior to the religious guy because the guy with culture will think with his own head, the religious will do what the Holly book tells him to do.

Like i have said previouslly, i have a Morroquian girlfriend, so i went there and had the chance to talk with some natives, one of the main complaints of Morroquian women was the lack of culture of the males, seams that students there study at Madrassa (hope to be writing well) during around 4 years and when their studies end, their fathers call them to work with them.

Only God Can Judge Me

الله فقط يمكنه محاكمتي

I am you and you are me, if you love i love, if you suffer i suffer

أنا أنت, و أنت أنا, إذا أحببت نفسك أحببت نفسي, إذا عانيتَ عانيتُ

fatima every child born in natural he is muslim but his parents will change him according to what they belive

i think u can check islamek websites and u can know the real meaning of islam why many people gave their live for islam this fantastic relgion that its like a boat will take us to safe place

what matters god and what god orderd us

dont listen for others say check what is islam and u judje

Never doubt a book by it's cover & also its selling profit... If its love tht brought both of u together, den its up2 both of u 2 keep it goin 4 eva... If in doubt, speak out & correct one's mistake immediately. In de long run, keep loving, caring & top of it all... be honest 2 each other. God bless u both.

If your husband is a good man and fears God then this is a man worth holding on to. Even if he comes to Canada and enters into a phase of temptation, rest assured that his God's guidance and his good character will bring him back. I know some young men who came to Germany and got tempted, but in the end returned to their origin. It needs patience and support from those who love you to help you find your way, even when there seems to be no way forward. And trust in God and He will be there when you call on Him.

Charan seems you love the word , me too :), our somali hero was nicknamed by the british (Mad Mullah) his real name was Saed Mahammed Abdullah Hassan.

OH sorry for the hijacking,..

Poverty is not for the sake of hardship. No, it is there because nothing exists but God. Poverty unlocks the door -- what a blessed key!

- Jalaluddin al-Rumi

I wish you all the best with your husband and may Allah blessed and lead you to the best path of a happy life ...

Mullah realsomeone :)

If your husband is a man of culture then you will have problem but if he is a man of faith there wont be problem.

so your doubt should be clear when this two is clear for you.

Poverty is not for the sake of hardship. No, it is there because nothing exists but God. Poverty unlocks the door -- what a blessed key!

- Jalaluddin al-Rumi

Dear Fatima

I want to wish you all the luck, above all because i'm in a similar situation as you difference is, i'm the one getting converted to Islam, not because i belive but because i love my girlfriend.

May i ask you how someone raised in the western world, even if converted to Islam, can be worried with "the temptations of western society"?

What made you belive in Islam?

Don't you belive in Love?

If you and your husband truelly love each other, there's no reason to be worried with "the temptations of western society", i would say more, when we really love someone, there's no temptation that keeps us away from someone we love.

Only God Can Judge Me

الله فقط يمكنه محاكمتي

I am you and you are me, if you love i love, if you suffer i suffer

أنا أنت, و أنت أنا, إذا أحببت نفسك أحببت نفسي, إذا عانيتَ عانيتُ

Thank you, Well I had no problem becoming a muslim. I believe in the islamic ways. It does not matter to me what the western civilization has to offer on this subject. I choose to convert to muslim simply because i believe. I also did this before marriage. I must confess though there are somethings that i am still learning about the islamic faith. But we all have to start somewhere.

in response to asking myself the above questions: Yes I have asked myself these questions but I don't think I know if I believe in the answers. And perhaps this may be due to my eagerness to learn and of course the distance. However, in speaking with my husband over an hour regarding these question I think the hardest one to answer would be am I changing him... I hope that he does not change. I loved him the way I first met him and I mean I loved everything about him. Now because he is coming to canada my greatest fear is that he will change, I am sure he is strong in his faith, But i worry that the temptations of western society will change him. Although he assures me that Allah would not have brought us together if he intended him to change. So with that being said! we shall see.

Fatima

Do you have doubt about being a Muslim? I hope not! It is another topic and needs to be addressed separately specially due to your background as Canadian and being in the eternal warfare crossfire between Islamic civilization and the roman one (western civilization).

As for your concern that your husband may change, I think you need to remember that change is the only constant .... I can tell you about myself, I've changed after marriage...Believe me it depends on how the family as a whole is evolving.

Ask yourself the following questions:

Do you both have positive attitudes?

Are you pushing things for the better or the worst?

Are you changing him?

What are your guidance and references in life?

koko thank you very much for your soft words. Thank you to the others who gave me advice. I really needed to hear all your comments. I felt so blessed and loved by all these responses that I phoned my husband and talked to him about this issue of doubt. I am glad I called on you all and now feel a heavy burden lifted off me.

I have also looked into some islamic centers here in vancouver and there are a couple. I will be checking them out. And I will check the islamic help line as well.

Thanks a bunch everyone.

Fatima

good morning sister

thank u for yout courage in submitting this crucial subject

i ll tell u my experience with 3 men i know all r arabic muslims

1.i know the man and i saw his wife with him she is original american blonde i guess she was wearing mulim custom covering her whole body only her eyes were visible ,,, she is learning arabic very good she is reading quran in arabic ,,,she is better than million original muslim women she said i was lost before islam

2.the other friend also american woman fully covered she studying arabic and quran and teaching her kids on islamic protocols although she is in the states

3. the other woman is mother of my friend she is australian she is typical polite decent ,,humble and grand mother she told me islam changed my life and horizon ...

dont worry sister go ahead god bless u and your huband http://www.rasoulallah.net

check this website if u have any inquiry just mail me

Why don't you refer to the original correct books and sources if you want to practice Islam? If you will try to look over the net there you will find the good and the bad. Not everything stated on those websites is right or wrong, but some are nothing but a good source for disturbance and confusion ...

Don't compare your life with the others, talk about everything with your husband ...

Do not dwell in the past, do not dream of the future, concentrate the mind on the present moment. (Gautama Buddha)

FATIMA WISH YOU THE BEST

In a way it is good you are asking questions, for all mi understandings can be clarified through asking questions and seeking answers for them. I suggest you join any of the Islamic centers in Canada (i have no idea if such centers exist in Canada).

Also it would be nice if you could speak out frankly with your husband and sort out issues.

Also please refer to this website to get ur queries answered from a very knowledable person.

www.islamhelpline.com

Wasalam

I'm a westerner married to an Arab Muslim and believe me, don't follow your husbands ways, as we are not here in this world to follow, but believe in what he believes, support him, he'll support you. My husband has never pushed me to do something i don't believe in. He would sit back and wait for me to make my own decisions.. but enjoy it also. If you love your husband, and he loves you, only suspicion and destroy this, and it's not worth it to do it to yourself. Be happy for him, be happy for yourself, no matter how far apart you are. Make a smile in your voice when he calls, no one loves a suspicious mind, but they do love a pure heart! The best of luck!

Never say Never for fear of Forever!!

my hubby says that thinking isn't my strong point either :)

time apart causes us to doubt things but really it should make us stronger too.

Just wanted to wish you love, luck and happiness and stop reading silly comments!!!! :)

Thank you, I for this advice. You are so, right it was Allah will that we be together in the first place. I should remember this.

the problem is ur doubts

so speak with ur husband frankly

and be informed that islam solving problems

Good and bad people are every where (you dont necessarily have to be a Muslim).. so as good and not so good or rather successful marriages. All you have to do is trust Allah SWT and since you are in the sacred bond of marriage dont worry. InshahAllah nothing will go wrong.

May Allah SWT give you peace of mind and happiness.

Just a small piece of advice DONT spoil your perfect marriage by going through online reviews and be in doubt.

Never Ask for a SMILE..just GIVE it..

Thank you for your comment, Yes I do love him thats why I married him. I have no doubts about him loving me. I guess I am reading too much into in and given that we are not together right now I have so much time to think and read. I didn't have these doubts untill I starting reading on the internet.

Thanks brandylady

You cant judge your marriage by others, they may be the minority, and surely, bad stories are aired more so you won't get to hear so many good ones.

If you and your husband love each other and he treats you with respect I don't see why you are having doubts.

If you are doubting your love for him, well, thats a different matter altogether.