How many Yank tourists to change a light bulb
How many American tourists does it take to change a light bulb.
Fifteen. Five to figure out how much the bulb costs in the local currency,
four to comment on "how funny-looking" local lightbulbs are, three to hire a local person to change the bulb, two to take pictures, and one to buy postcards in case the pictures don't come out.
LOL, Good one...
Maybe we need to start a separate forum to pick each other brains.
HEHEHEHEHE
You earn your psychedelic medal for your last joke since Great Britain is hosting the next Oil-yimpics....LOL
I hear St. Patrick was an Englishman!"
Two Americans boarded a flight out of Doha. One sat in the window seat and the other sat in the middle seat. Just before take-off, a Brit got on and took the aisle seat. After take-off, the Brit kicked his shoes off, wiggled his toes and was settling in when the American in the window seat said, "I think I'll get up and get a beer."
"No problem," said the Brit, "I'll get it for you."
While he was gone, one of the Americans picked up the Brits's shoe and spat in it. When he returned with the beer, the other American said, "That looks good; I think I'll have one too."
Again, the Brit obligingly went to fetch it and while he was gone, the other American picked up the other shoe and spat in it.
When the Brit returned to his seat, they all sat back and enjoyed the flight.
As the plane was landing, the Brit slipped his feet into his shoes and knew immediately what had happened.
"Why does it have to be this way?" he asked. "How long must this go on? This fighting between our nations? This hatred? This animosity? This spitting in our shoes, and pissing in their beers."
If we are allowed to make a video like this, he can make a shot at the yank I guess....haha
(forgive all the video links but 'tis nice to chair dance to while reading QL)
English Jesus spacer
Why wasn't Jesus born in Essex, England?
Because they couldn't find three wise men and a virgin!
I hear St. Patrick was an Englishman!"
British Sports Humor
spacer
How many Man U. fans does it take to change a lightbulb?
One to change the lightbulb, and one to drive down to Kent to pick him/her up.
I hear St. Patrick was an Englishman!"
We won't tease Americans again!
I fell like momma bear telling baby bear off for sleeping in Goldilock's bed!
I can joke about myself just don't YOu do it!! lmao...
Grant me the senility to forget the people I never liked,the good fortune to run into the ones I do,and the eyesight to tell the difference.
...what example are we setting!
We would just be like every other nations or people that get too defensive over jovial comments!
for nothing??? if we all stop posting anti (fill in the nationality of the minute) jokes, would be much more fun for everyone...
Grant me the senility to forget the people I never liked,the good fortune to run into the ones I do,and the eyesight to tell the difference.
...for nothing so had to step in!
You will always be my line dancing queen! Love Ya!
we're not snarky...we're just poking fun back at him...
and please...do have a go at the Bush jokes...and for the last time..he is NOT from TExas..he's from Connecticutt!!!
Grant me the senility to forget the people I never liked,the good fortune to run into the ones I do,and the eyesight to tell the difference.
up side the head???
Grant me the senility to forget the people I never liked,the good fortune to run into the ones I do,and the eyesight to tell the difference.
...but they get bashed around so much here on QL they can't recognise friend from foe!
...just like their fighter pilots! :-P
no snarky here. Like Brit said on the weekend thread, he's just trying to make waves for entertainment value..
Finally , someone who twigged.
I agree , it wasn't that great a joke..
I'll try and do better :o)
When a reporter asked Bush what he thought about his first hundred days in office he replied "Has it been a year already?
British Racists and Light bulbs
How many English racists, does it take to screw in a light bulb?
One skin head from London -- they want to be enlightened!
I hear St. Patrick was an Englishman!"
Why so snarky, folks, they're just jokes!
But Brit the lightbulb one wasn't that funny. I much prefer a Dubya joke any day :-)
oh good grief string those bas...ards up!
Truly Brit you need a good brainwashing....
britexpat is having serious nationality issues..gee whiz man, what's gotten your knickers in a knot about us yanks??
Grant me the senility to forget the people I never liked,the good fortune to run into the ones I do,and the eyesight to tell the difference.
The American water polo team drowned four horses during the first chukka.
LMAO!!! Nice mental picture on that one!!
Well time for me to try and sleep. Take care Scarlett and enjoy your vacation!!! I hope to catch up on all the good QL stuff with you when you return.
blew up...
Grant me the senility to forget the people I never liked,the good fortune to run into the ones I do,and the eyesight to tell the difference.
So that's the reason for the hats for all seasons. LOL
Wow - the light bulb in my head just went on. (no pun intended - ok that's a lie- it is a pun.)
coffee works...and janeyjaney..i'll take baileys in mine, thanks..
Grant me the senility to forget the people I never liked,the good fortune to run into the ones I do,and the eyesight to tell the difference.
you go girl!!
yep on the ears...which is why their women wear those silly hats everywhere..
Grant me the senility to forget the people I never liked,the good fortune to run into the ones I do,and the eyesight to tell the difference.
Hey Scarlett,
Along with the teeth and complexion - you forgot the ears. Someone should pin those babies back don't ya think? j/k of course.
Britextpat - I have to admit that I am guilty of point 1 and point 2 but I would like you to know that I not only found a ladder to change the bulbs but carried said ladder up the stairs and changed said light bulbs on my own. Wanna know why? Because I'm not only a very capable American but I am also a very capable woman!
coffee spiked with vodka? Im in!-------------------------------------------------
╬ Somebody's Heine' is crowdin' my icebox ╬
yes coffee will do just fine with us rite? will speak with the boss for this week's schedule.
Everybody is right everybody is wrong, it depend where you stand
FINALLY!! Nice to see daylight once again...Am going to try and get out this week...hope to see you then..
Grant me the senility to forget the people I never liked,the good fortune to run into the ones I do,and the eyesight to tell the difference.
long time i dont see your beautiful smile Madam Scarlet. hope all fine with you.
Everybody is right everybody is wrong, it depend where you stand
is having male pms lately..
Grant me the senility to forget the people I never liked,the good fortune to run into the ones I do,and the eyesight to tell the difference.
whats with brit taking a joke about american???? confused.
Everybody is right everybody is wrong, it depend where you stand
Three British guys show up with a work order to change a light bulb in a hotel room in downtown London.
One was carrying a ladder, his profile was of Hindustan heritage.
The second man was carrying the tool bag, his profile was of Middle Eastern heritage.
The third guy was very fat and very tall, white hair dude, with a very strong accent from North London and smoking a cigar, shouting out: Come on Lads, You boys got work to do!
He was the supervisor.
I hear St. Patrick was an Englishman!"
I'm just glad it wasn't another polish joke. This Pollock certainly knows how to change a damn lightbulb!!
Britexpat is bored (troublemaker!)
seems to be alright to slam us Americans but not to do the return if you ARE an American..we are just supposed to grin and take it...
BEsides...I heard that joke years ago but the question was how many Brits it took to change a light bulb...and the answer was it didn't take ANY because they were all waiting on their government to approve the useage of the ladder before allowing any of the brits to CHANGE the bulb...kind of like their health care system.
Grant me the senility to forget the people I never liked,the good fortune to run into the ones I do,and the eyesight to tell the difference.
I was going to say there this one about brits, pasty white skin and bad teeth..but figured it was stereotyping...
Grant me the senility to forget the people I never liked,the good fortune to run into the ones I do,and the eyesight to tell the difference.
seems you are on the road to stepping on quite a few toes today...
trying to set a new record?? Let me see if I can find my British jokes..I have a whole file of them....oops nevermind, they aren't jokes they are real!!!
Grant me the senility to forget the people I never liked,the good fortune to run into the ones I do,and the eyesight to tell the difference.
Never mind
Sorry about that... Here's a better one..
Q: What is the difference between the Vietnam war and the Iraq war?
A: George W. Bush had a plan for getting out of the Vietnam war.
Britexpat said:
How many American tourists does it take to change a light bulb?
The answer is One. We are tourist in your country, just dial the service number and the hotel will replace it for free with no service charge.
I hear St. Patrick was an Englishman!"
change...And then there is funding and OK by NATO...
And we prob have to send a special team over to advise...
And then provide security...
You can't teach experience...
Nice Brit
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A good husband is healthy and always absent.
A healthy man is a successful man.
Japanese Proverbs
how many Americans does it take to tell the Bristish they can not tell good jokes?
Answer 1
"Everything in this book may be wrong." Illusions: The Adventures of The Reluctant Messiah by Richard Bach
:-) funny