Jokes

A state trooper pulled a car over and told the man driving that he was going 50 mph in a 40 mph zone.
"I was only going 40!" the driver protested.
"Not according to my radar," the trooper said.
"Yes, I was!" the man shouted back.
"No you weren't!" the trooper said.
With that, the man's wife leaned toward the window and said,'Officer, I should warn you not to argue with my husband when he's been drinking."
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WIFE: "There's trouble with the car. It has water in the carburettor."
HUSBAND: "Water in the carburettor? That's ridiculous."
WIFE: "I tell you the car has water in the carburettor."
HUSBAND: "You don't even know what a carburettor is. I'll check it out.
Where's the car?"
WIFE: "In the pool."
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An elderly lady was stopped to pull into a parking space when a young
man in his new red Mercedes went around her and parked in the space she
was waiting for. The little old lady was so upset that she went up to
the man and said, "I was going to park there!" The man was a real smart
aleck and he said, "That's what you can do when you're young and bright."
Well, this really upset the lady even more, so she got in her car and backed it up and then she stomped on the gas and plowed right into his Mercedes. The young man ran back to his car and asked, "What did you do
that for?" The little old lady smiled and told him, "That's what you can do when you're old and rich!"
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A blonde woman was speeding down the road in her little red sports car and was pulled over by a woman police officer, who was also a blonde.
The cop asked to see the blonde's driver's license. She dug through her purse and was getting progressively more agitated.
"What does it look like?" she finally asked.
The policewoman replied, "It's square and it has your picture on it."
The driver finally found a square mirror, looked at it and handed it to the policewoman. "Here it is," she said.
The blonde officer looked at the mirror, then handed it back saying, "Okay, you can go. I didn't realize you were a cop."