What kind of love is that???

Since we cannot get what we like, let us like what we can get...although it really hurts..and easy to say...

then all the more reason for her to dump him and move on... :)

britexpat said QS.. ...

"but about how they FEEL each other without any communication..."

It's bloody hard to feel each other without communication.."

- "You say it best when you say nothing at all". (Ronan Keating) Heheheh!

Actually, what QS said is true. If the feelings are there, the miles don't matter (eg. text messages and replies - felt like we were talking real time, even through from several different time Zones).

But when in serious doubt - khalas! khalas! khalas! (new word learned from the lovely Mrs. KH last week)

Britexpat, communication can be many ways and to each his and her own. For some people, they can handle the physical distance but for some, cannot.

*****************************************

Don't want no drama,

No, no drama, no, no, no, no drama

notfromhere "maybe she should back off for a while and see if he takes the initiative. I don't know about your friend of course, but sometimes girls are just soooo pushy with all the phone calls, etc, wanting to know what their guy is doing every minute.

Perhaps she should give him a chance to miss her and see if he calls.

If not, she shouldn't waste her time with him."

- Yes, last line is what I should have learned after 2 years. I used to text him often but don't expect an immediate reply. He'll always reply asap, as if talking personally across the miles. It was fine but actually, I guess I should have been more demanding but I was too understanding. Mistake...

*****************************************

Don't want no drama,

No, no drama, no, no, no, no drama

Doctors say time is limited for divorced couple saying "I do" again

Could this ever work?

A couple get married, divorced and then married again. Could they be eternally happy?

Yep, that's the thing.

Those who don't remember the past are condemned to repeat it.

Dracula: You can keep it if both sides manage to get time to visit each other 2x/year (If ticket is too expensive) or more (if ticket is cheaper), it's advisable to have some money to pay hotel room and food.

Only God Can Judge Me

الله فقط يمكنه محاكمتي

I am you and you are me, if you love i love, if you suffer i suffer

أنا أنت, و أنت أنا, إذا أحببت نفسك أحببت نفسي, إذا عانيتَ عانيتُ

Drac... it is either there or not... like in any relationship...

*********************

“You become responsible forever for what you have tamed”. Antoine de Saint-Exupéry

eaglemmanuel.. 7 years are pretty impressive... I could get married and get divorced couple of times during this time ;)

*********************

“You become responsible forever for what you have tamed”. Antoine de Saint-Exupéry

How to keep the spark alive when you're living apart??

Good question...

...hard to answer!

platao.. :) then you know what i mean...

you don't have to ask yourself: does she love me or not? And I am sure your fiancé doesn't have to ask herself the same question..you both know: it is there…

*********************

“You become responsible forever for what you have tamed”. Antoine de Saint-Exupéry

Chichi "communication is not that constant for we dont chat/call/sms daily...

it is a matter of TRUST and GOD is our love triangle..."

Precisely. I wholly agree. If I found someone who's God fearing (genuinely and not fanatical) and I'm sure of his character, then things can work out.

The reason why my friends who have had LDRs and finally got married, lasting 8-10 years and ongoing - is because, primarily, of each person's faith in God.

*****************************************

Don't want no drama,

No, no drama, no, no, no, no drama

QS, how do you know that "the LDR cannot be maintained too long"? what is "too long" for you in the first place? 2 weeks? 2 months? 2 years?"

Too long was 7 years in my case. Should have seen the signs by 2 years.

*****************************************

Don't want no drama,

No, no drama, no, no, no, no drama

dragonfly212 said "i know guys, i told her that. and i forget to mentioned above that in his previous relationship with his ex, he told my gf that he always communicate with his ex everyday but why he dont do it with my girlfriend?"

- Maybe because he had been hurt by previous gf, he was making all the effort but no use so now concentrating on his work. Warning bells emotional baggage. Not over previous gf. He was the doormat, now he wants a doormat. Both parties should meet each other halfway - they should communicate their perceptions to each other and clarify how to move forward (or not).

Note: Someone who is very busy at work, loads of meetings to attend, business networking and with this troubled financial times, is really extremely busy with hardly time to breathe. He's not two timing her actually. In his mind, he's not thinking about her but about work problems. When she calls or textes him, it shifts his focus away from work and he will be emotionally happy that his girl is thinking about him. But after a short while thereafter, work takes primary focus again. This can go on for a few years and the girl will be able to take this if she also has a life. If not very busy with her own life, she'll want attention.

Having said that, however busy someone is, can always spare a moment for someone important to them.

*****************************************

Don't want no drama,

No, no drama, no, no, no, no drama

eaglemmanuel, how do you know that "the LDR cannot be maintained too long"?

what is "too long" for you in the first place? 2 weeks? 2 months? 2 years?

*********************

“You become responsible forever for what you have tamed”. Antoine de Saint-Exupéry

QS: I'm refering to present times :P

"well...once you are there you will know what i mean...

let's say if during the rare "communication" he expresses his love, he cannot get enough of talking to her, he does and say.. i don't know.. all these sweet crazy things that gives her a strong confidence in his feelings… after that kind of conversation no need to "communicate" another 2-3-4 days ..you still have this smile on your lips, this dizziness in your mind, this sweetness in your heart.."

Lol, just what i feal everytime i and my bride talk to each other, if it's on the phone, my friends all notice the huge smile i have on my face after hanging up :)

Only God Can Judge Me

الله فقط يمكنه محاكمتي

I am you and you are me, if you love i love, if you suffer i suffer

أنا أنت, و أنت أنا, إذا أحببت نفسك أحببت نفسي, إذا عانيتَ عانيتُ

Most probably because he is just not into her. She's just an option, while waiting for someone better to come along. That's my story and my experience.

Agree with Khanan to a large extent that LDRs do not work MOST times. Sometimes, they do but usually, absence does not make the heart grow fonder where the absence is prolonged and there is no firm commitment, like a marriage or a steady relationship.

I have friends who have handled LDRs for a few years and ended up getting married and still stay married for over 8-10 years.

So, it all depends on whether your friend is CERTAIN about her bf's character and commitment to her. 1001 ways to be certain about that and if she's truly not looking through rose tinted glasses, then she would know better that any of her friends and family, as ONLY SHE knows him personally. [I know, it's highly likely that she's in lurvve and blinded]

Anyway, the LDR cannot be maintained too long, committed relationship or not. The distance and few snatches of time spent together puts both parties back to being just friends or they will drift apart. Either he should make his way to be with her or she with him. Someone has to make the sacrifice. If he insists that she make that sacrifice, I'd think twice about his egocentricity, and probably dump him.

/Yes, UkEng - so many words and back to britexpat's "ditch him". Sound advice. But my above long postie (this one took me a good 10 minutes but during lunch break) hopefully gives vip ideas to tell her again, to ditch him.

*****************************************

Don't want no drama,

No, no drama, no, no, no, no drama

Men or women always need a comfort-level about their beloved that they love each other and share the similar feelings and do respect their feelings.

Love is a Fire and smoke to be seen on both sides.

Healthy communication is must to ensure Love is burning in their hearts especially when they are apart.

I use to work in the field of psychology. Like any other science, psychology has its certain rules and laws. That’s why a good psychologist can define based on the certain signs, how the person feels, and why he/she is doing or saying this or that.

So it is known very well: when the guy WANTS, he express it! No need to ask him and to pull it out of him!

If he wants to meet you again after the first date, he WILL ask you for the phone number, you don’t have to offer it to him.

If he WANTS he will call you first! You don’t need to remind him of your existence!

Man is a hunter! When he WANTS he GETS it, or at least trying hard to get! Otherwise, make sure: HE DOESN’T WANT!

*********************

“You become responsible forever for what you have tamed”. Antoine de Saint-Exupéry

are extremely difficult. and when you feel as though it's a one way situation, forget it. confusion and hurt will get the best of you when you are the one initiating all conversation.

platao.. what you are talking about? what webcamera?

just few years ago there were no any web cameras, no even internet.. how people managed LDR? it has nothing to do with webcamera!

*********************

“You become responsible forever for what you have tamed”. Antoine de Saint-Exupéry

:) :)... "feel" i mean emotionally :)

well...once you are there you will know what i mean...

let's say if during the rare "communication" he expresses his love, he cannot get enough of talking to her, he does and say.. i don't know.. all these sweet crazy things that gives her a strong confidence in his feelings… after that kind of conversation no need to "communicate" another 2-3-4 days ..you still have this smile on your lips, this dizziness in your mind, this sweetness in your heart..

but if she calls him, and he kind of : oh, hi, it's you again? yeah, how i you?

she: do you miss me?

He: Sure, i miss you! but you know I am so bloody busy!

She: Do you love me?

He: Of course I love you! How can you doubt it!! TRUST is the key thing in the relationship! Trust me! She: so why you didn't call me yesterday?

He: OMG, you again! I was so busy! please understand it!

she starts crying: You don't love me!

He: come’ on girl! Of course I am crazy about you! Just stop crying!..

and so on.. after that he doesn't call her again for a week. When she calls him, the whole scenario is repeated exactly in a same way..(tell me I am wrong!)

and then she thinks: but he SAYS he loves me!! Maybe I am wrong? may be he is really busy??

NO GIRL! he is just not that into you!

*********************

“You become responsible forever for what you have tamed”. Antoine de Saint-Exupéry

all sort of relationship. Ask for clarification, give some time to improve otherwise take a call.

QS: I belive that if they manage to talk often using webcam it will help the love to grow, but someone has to make the 1st move, why it has to be him to give 1st step and doesn't she give him a sign ?

Only God Can Judge Me

الله فقط يمكنه محاكمتي

I am you and you are me, if you love i love, if you suffer i suffer

أنا أنت, و أنت أنا, إذا أحببت نفسك أحببت نفسي, إذا عانيتَ عانيتُ

"but about how they FEEL each other without any communication..."

It's bloody hard to feel each other without communication..

agree with you guys,.. it's obvious he's not that into her...she should dump him! she deserves a better man.

Is she in same time your "single girl friend "and has a boy friend too.?

britexpat, let me assure you that LDR is working and very well, when the LOVE is there...

And all that iss not about how OFTEN they communicate... but about how they FEEL each other without any communication...

*********************

“You become responsible forever for what you have tamed”. Antoine de Saint-Exupéry

LDRs seldom work out...I agree with those that said if he doesn't make the time to send an email or call---

Forget about it!

I agree with you qatari-princes.

Ukeng: lol, obrigado amigo ;) I was lucky too, afterall we are only 800 kms far from each other :)

Only God Can Judge Me

الله فقط يمكنه محاكمتي

I am you and you are me, if you love i love, if you suffer i suffer

أنا أنت, و أنت أنا, إذا أحببت نفسك أحببت نفسي, إذا عانيتَ عانيتُ

come on .. the guy is definitely not that into her...

And it’s very easy to check. Let her not to “initiate” the communication under any circumstances, and she will know how much he “loves” her…

anyway, if one is in love, another one can FEEL it, even no need to communicate every day or even every week. But if you start questioning yourself: He loves me? He loves me not? then forget about it...the answer is NO.

*********************

“You become responsible forever for what you have tamed”. Antoine de Saint-Exupéry

totally not acceptable!!

This prroves that he doesn't love her at all...

:(

so she can mention me to her friend as an example....lol

you too Aziliana..

looks like that not only that we are born the same year.. we have other things in common ..too...lol

luv guru.. Keith Brown that reminds me that movie.. with Jimmy mistry and Heather Graham..lol "when he talks women listen" lol

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HE WHO DARES WINS

what can I say, but: " Been there, done that..."

:-)

Ok then.

Dya think I should change my ID to "The Lurv Guru",:-)

I am sure he has found some one else and is not interested any more..

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HE WHO DARES WINS

Exactly how much effort or time does it take to tap out an sms or email once or twice a day, hmmm.If he cant even make that tiny effort what will he be like when it comes to the bigger stuff. Ditch him , move on .

Plato amigo you are a true inspiration and best fruit of this LDR game..

Good luck to you and your fiance..may God guide and protect you all the way..

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HE WHO DARES WINS

Jackmohan.. where and why did you assume that all LDR are sex chats? hmm are you talking from experience young boy...lol

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HE WHO DARES WINS

hmmm, think i can help, afterall, i and my bride been having a long distance relation (she's in Rabat and i'm in Lisbon), so, i can talk about this. When i met her, i was just looking for friends at hi5, we both had msn messenger, so we started to get online very often, used webcam to see each others and soon we were spending 4 h online each weekend day and soon we fealt attracted to each other, we kept contact and were talking pretty often, even sent postcards to each other through snail mail, when she stopped getting online, we kept in touch using celular phone and still, she would get online to chat with me every time, 6 months after we met online, i went to Morrocco to meet her and since than i need to talk with her every 3 days, and i do know how hard it is to me if we don't communicate during more than 3 days.

Long distance relations are difficult but not impossible.

Btw, we are getting married in March ;)

I'm thinking, maybe they both aren't sure if they love each other, someone must give the 1st step.

Only God Can Judge Me

الله فقط يمكنه محاكمتي

I am you and you are me, if you love i love, if you suffer i suffer

أنا أنت, و أنت أنا, إذا أحببت نفسك أحببت نفسي, إذا عانيتَ عانيتُ

dragonfly....generally guys are bad with responding "in time" or "usually the first to call" when its a LDR.

Guys dont like to do the "small time chat" like "how are you?", "Miss me?" etc.

If your friend wants him to call first ...give him visual talk...something he can see....try web cam.

If that is not possible give him something to visualise....thats what sex-chats are all about....make him visualise.

I went to Indonesia to meet a girl as a product of this LDR turned out be a .................:(

So like to just keep it LDR only..

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HE WHO DARES WINS

with the distances involved, i am not surprised that "he's just not that into her"

She should move on.

agree with you notfromhere but sometime you just cannot figure out whats men thiking. aaarrrggggggggggg..... i got headache too thinkin about this problems.

Men oh men...

Everybody is right everybody is wrong, it depend where you stand

if ur friend is not happy with their situation, then she has to decide whether to contiue or stop their relationship than waste time thinking, feeling blue about them...

Maybe he's just not that into her ;-)

Agree with Zayd, maybe she should back off for a while and see if he takes the initiative. I don't know about your friend of course, but sometimes girls are just soooo pushy with all the phone calls, etc, wanting to know what their guy is doing every minute.

Perhaps she should give him a chance to miss her and see if he calls.

If not, she shouldn't waste her time with him.

DF I have one result of this LDR already.. lol

now like to keep it LDR...lol

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HE WHO DARES WINS

Ukeng, hahhahahahahaa.... really? you rather have LDR then meet with the person and you both can do whatever you want??? hahhahahhahaa you funny man

Everybody is right everybody is wrong, it depend where you stand

lol you funny boss. i hate busy tones tho

Everybody is right everybody is wrong, it depend where you stand

DF pass her my email.. I dont mind LDR.. as long as she never comes here...lol

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HE WHO DARES WINS

chichi thats what i said to her. just trust him if you really loves him but if you are not happy with the situation then move on. she just cannot make a good decision for now.

I have question myself, if you really loves somebody of course you will miss the person so much and by sms/call/email is the only way to be connected in the LDR. Is that mean he dont miss her?

Everybody is right everybody is wrong, it depend where you stand

love by communication

either you get a busy tone

or off tone

or out of reach tone

or no reply tone

:D

you coming on Valentine

to be my valentine....aaaaha

____________________________________________________

Have Courage To Live.

Anyone Can Die.

works with us. been away for 2yrs now and still going strong (had vacation last yr though).

bf visits home at times even when i am not there. my family looks / invites him occassionaly.

communication is not that constant for we dont chat/call/sms daily...

it is a matter of TRUST and GOD is our love triangle...

She should ditch him!

Jaan, be very still because am coming over in two days. We should catch up. mwah

Everybody is right everybody is wrong, it depend where you stand

i know guys, i told her that. and i forget to mentioned above that in his previous relationship with his ex, he told my gf that he always communicate with his ex everyday but why he dont do it with my girlfriend?

whats the different between these two??

Everybody is right everybody is wrong, it depend where you stand

This is the Egyptian Saying, those far from sight become away from the heart .. i.e. distance kills love ..I guess this happens slowly over time .. and love fades out ...

"The best way to predict the future is to create it".

Agree with Zayd!

tell her to cut communications with him for a few days and see if he takes the initiative...if not then she should give him a piece of her mind!

guy who believe in LDR---Long Distance Relationships..these kinda relation does not last...IMHO..

But Dragon..I miss you...though you are long distance away from here..

____________________________________________________

Have Courage To Live.

Anyone Can Die.

either he's saving OR he's stingy... what ever his reasons are, for me it's not acceptable ^_^