An Irishman, a welshman and a Scott...
It's old, but it's good:
Three men went to rob a bank. One was Scottish, one Welsh and one Irish.. (see; how unpedictable is THAT?)
So anyway, as they were shimmying down the side of the Bank's sky scraper, they heard the predictable weeeewaaaaa of Police sirens.
'Oh Feck' said the Irishman
'Idunneefookinknowwhattodooo' said the Scott
'Iawn.' Said the Welshman.. ' Ty'd..'Let's go down this alleyway b'ur and we'll hide in them 3 sacks til they've gone, isn't et?'
Oh, so Happy Out with the plan, they scoot down the alley and duck into the three sacks that are (conveniently) located there...
NEEE NAAA NEEE NAAAA
The sirens stop at the top of the alley.
'Shyte'
'Whaaat would Breeveheaart dooo?' and
'Ieusy Mawr bois..'
So they all crouch in their sacks and hope for their respective Patron Siants to rescue them again. (they're in England of course -and I forgot to mention that- because in the homelands pillage wouldn't raise an eyebrow)
So. The Copper goes up to the first sack and says ' Well, well, well, what have we 'ere then?' and the Scottsman says 'Meeeeooowww'
'Bluddy cats' says the policeman as he trudges on with his investigations ( he really wants to meet his girlfriend before he has to be home in time for tea)
He approaches the second sack..
'Whoof, whoof' says the Welshman.
'Bluddy dogs' says the policeman as he gives it another kick before he tries the THIRD one thinking of his promised bonus:
(The Irishman is insoide in the sack tinking of his hail Maaarys)
'Well well, well. And so what 'ave we 'ere then?' says the copper as he land a hefty toe.
'Potatoes'
I enjoy this politically incorrectness... :) I have some Romanians ones but... who knows about moldoveni, olteni and ardeleni, except Romanians? :(
Anyway, i have to make a Romanian version for the last one from britexpat, it's hilarious!!!
Bore da , Lookyou Is it !
Why do welshmen wear Levi button-fly jeans?
Because a sheep can hear a zipper at 100 yards.
just curious, is this really how you make jokes (scots, welsh & irish)?, so blunt and with a courteous rebuttal. it's funny by the way! LOL good morning!
trip na kontraem badtripen ah!
lool
An Englishman, a Scotsman and an Irishman were without tickets for the opening ceremonies of the Olympics but hoped to be able to talk their way in at the gate. Security was very tight, however, and each of their attempts was met with a stern refusal.
While wandering around outside the stadium, the Englishman came upon a construction site, which gave him an idea. Grabbing a length of scaffolding, he presented himself at the gate and said, "Johnson, the pole vault," and was admitted.
The Scotsman, overhearing this, went at once to search the site. When he came up with a sledge hammer, he presented himself at the gate and said, "McTavish, the hammer." He was also admitted.
The Irishman combed the site for an hour and was nearly ready to give up when he spotted his ticket in. Seizing a roll of barbed wire, he presented himself at the gate and announced, "O'Sullivan, fencing."