Tough Love vs. Spanking - Good Argument

somwerNdmiddle
By somwerNdmiddle

Many people think it improper to spank children, so I have tried other methods to control my kids when they have one of 'those moments.' One that I found effective is for me to just take the child for a car ride and talk.
Some say it's the vibration from the car, others say it's the time away from any distractions such as TV, Video Games, Computer, IPod, etc.

Either way, my kids usually calm down and stop misbehaving after our car ride together. Eye to eye contact helps a lot too. I've included a photo below of one of my sessions with my son, in case you would like to use the technique.

This works with grandchildren, nieces, and nephews as well.

By blue_rose• 23 May 2009 11:34
blue_rose

lolz..

By starfaith25• 23 May 2009 11:31
starfaith25

well i am blessed with a very well-behaved kid... never had a problem talking to her... she listens very well and alwys proper.

By Vegas• 23 May 2009 11:27
Vegas

You can't teach experience...

By wonderingearthlinginqatar• 23 May 2009 11:26
wonderingearthlinginqatar

ROFL... Bwa ha ha ha..

Glitterfy.com - Glitter Graphics

By VNINO773H• 21 May 2009 23:38
VNINO773H

Hi,

are you asking me?

have a nice night

By shoeaddict• 21 May 2009 23:31
shoeaddict

how has parenting changed now?in our days there were lots of rules.

if you break any or all of it,you pay the consequences.for the minor offenses like if we were late in going to school or getting c in exams,(in our time when charlies angels AND CHIPS were still on air guess which decade)the penalties would be no tv,grounding for one month,no phonecalls from friends.

if we were caught swearing,smacking younger siblings

or giggling in church the punishment ranged from

chilis in the mouth,or

we were forced to kneel in salt to the infamous belt whipping.

those penalties are tough,for a 7 year old,and we do this in the privacy of our home.

but i never heard my parents call us stupid or the worse name you can think of.

so do you think its fair that kids have tough love now vs spanking?considering or order of discipline was very tough?

By Swiper• 21 May 2009 23:18
Swiper

Do a sharp break and let the bugger fall under the wheels.....he'll never have a tantrum again!!Simple!!

By shoeaddict• 21 May 2009 23:16
shoeaddict

continue with the discussion

By bubbly1975• 21 May 2009 23:16
bubbly1975

how we treat our children whether in private or public shld be the same...consistency as i've said...

but we shouldn't be COMPLACENT and too trusting as well...

however we raise our children, a lot of factors will always change them and re-mold them...every parents' nightmare...we just pray that they will turn out to be the GOOD person that we want them to be...

no argument in here i guess... diffrent strokes with different folks...

By bugsy• 21 May 2009 22:21
bugsy

Hey! I thought you were on my side.

But just to tease you a little and to 'feed your ignorance', does it matter how you treat your child - in private or in public - as long as he/she knows that he/she can always come to you and confide in you?

As far as I read the script, I understood that the most important requirement is that of understanding and not how you get to it. The goal is important and not the means.

If this understanding, this 'tenderness' is missing, then the child will eventually go elsewhere to find it, just like Bubbles says. But as long as its there, it shouldn't be a reason to sweat.

What say you wise people?

By bubbly1975• 21 May 2009 16:41
bubbly1975

BUGSY, the post was not meant to be "funny"...don't apologize..

but still LOL DRACULA!!!

i was never spanked neither verbally abused .. and i grew up fine...

what we let our children see (however good they are) at home doesn't always stick with them... they get pitched in the real world and that's where the real scary story comes in....

it's up to us elders "to go to them, so they can come to us" and have a talk about things.... and then we can teach them and discipline them without really giving them the "iron-hand discipline"

tendency for children today is...you show them your stern side and they will look for tenderness somewhere else... and they might end up in the wrong places looking for that...

***feed my ignorance***

By Dracula• 21 May 2009 16:17
Dracula

.

.

.beating my kids ? Only self defence ! :-)

.

.

By bugsy• 21 May 2009 16:09
bugsy

Brit, somwerNdmiddle, ashwin.

I had begin think that scolding and the occasional putting-across-the-knee was barbaric in this day and age. Used to wonder whether it was politically correct to frown at my devils whenever they played up hell.

I feel better already.

Hey! Cut that out, you two!!

By mjamille28• 21 May 2009 07:56
mjamille28

lol..... :P

By somwerNdmiddle• 21 May 2009 07:55
somwerNdmiddle

right again brit! kids today really need to understand the word DISCIPLINE! i used to get spanked when i was young and it did me good coz if i didn't have it i wouldn't be here.

By Aquazar• 21 May 2009 07:50
Aquazar

Excuse me BUT i really need to SHOUT!

DOTA! DOTA! DOTA! GG GUYS!

Thank You and Good Day to All!

By ashwindoke• 21 May 2009 07:46
ashwindoke

bugsy - May be after seven Yrs.. when I am at your stage... I ll go through the post again..

n Show - You seem to be a kind hearted man.. Your son/Daughter shall be lucky not to be spanked..no matter wht crimes are committed..lol

And Ya.... Beating kids is necessary.... Not coz they deserve nothing better.. but at tht tender age... Logic doesn work... jus the free will...

But excess of anything is bad... So is Spanking... :)

Ragging is banned in colleges..look at the kind of nerds the colleges are producing these days.... Specially Engineers.... they no more act n look like one..

___________________________________________

Reality is a Illusion Caused Due to Deficiency of Alcohol

By britexpat• 21 May 2009 07:28
britexpat

DISCIPLINE ! That's what kids need today.. We used to get spanked.. Never did us any harm. The smell of a freshly oiled cane and leathers turn me on even at this age..

DISCIPLINE!

By somwerNdmiddle• 21 May 2009 07:23
somwerNdmiddle

no problem bugsy :)

By chinitasai08• 21 May 2009 01:28
Rating: 2/5
chinitasai08

lol :)

MyHotComments +

By Shegoo• 21 May 2009 01:20
Shegoo

soooo funny,now I know what to do if my son misbehave. LOL

By shoeaddict• 21 May 2009 00:05
shoeaddict

ill get back to you tomorrow.half of my body is turning into a pumpkin...past 12...lol

By bugsy• 21 May 2009 00:02
bugsy

for hijacking a perfectly funny thread. Great job

By bugsy• 20 May 2009 23:56
bugsy

It's me that last post should have addressed and not poor Ash.

Anyway, like I said in my original post (two posts above yours) I was a little zapped by the utter shock you seemed to have undergone having witnessed the conversation.

Chill. There are no parenting issues.

Just one issue, if you'll humour me and answer:

Are we stretching this 'times-have-changed, don't-hit-your-child, don't-scold-your-child' bit a little too much?

I'm sure Abraham Lincoln was not a fool to write to his son's school teacher asking him/her not to spare any effort to bring up his son like a man should be, despite knowing 'He is such a fine little fellow, my son'.

'Keep smilin', keep shinin'

By shoeaddict• 20 May 2009 23:33
shoeaddict

it was i who posted about the father calling his child stupid infront of me.the child was not even fretting or misbehaving,she was just admiring the display when the father told her infront of me,"your work cant be as good as his because your stupid."and it bothered me to no end.

i have no right to question the fathers way of disciplining his child,so i kept my mouth shut.it was i thiink my 2nd week as a member here in QL that is why i had to ask members about parenting issues.

By bugsy• 20 May 2009 23:22
Rating: 3/5
bugsy

It was a valid and relevant post. Don't breeze through it, read it.

If you didn't see the humour, read it again, and still if you don't, wait some seven years. You'll, god willing, be in the same position as I am.

Maybe, then you'll see the humour in it all.

Keep smilin', keep shinin'

By ashwindoke• 20 May 2009 21:49
ashwindoke

bugsy -

You sure this was a relevant post and not a BUG....??

This was suppose to be a joke....

a LOL... LMAO... ha ha ha... he he he.. etc..

such comments....

___________________________________________

Reality is a Illusion Caused Due to Deficiency of Alcohol

By bugsy• 20 May 2009 21:24
bugsy

Last time around, there was a similar topic - except it was not in the lighter vein.

Somebody had heard a man call his son or daughter 'Stupid' in some shop, and our dear 'listener' had come very upset to our dear website, 'horrified and outraged' at the plight of the poor child and what it had done to his/her psyche.

Following that post, there had been a hail of indignant replies voicing how utterly useless a father that man was and whatever else, for mentally flogging the child.

At that time I was too shocked to add in my bit, but now having regained my composure and my voice (my fingers and keyboard in this case), I say (or rather, I type), going by the same logic, is it also wrong for a father to hug and kiss his child in public?

If it is not, why is a stern word from a father - in the privacy of the house or a public place so wrong?

I'm sure no parent wants to use that kind of language but then some situations demand it.

Also, who are we to comment upon what understanding the father-child duo shares?

How much did we know of the two to have cast our judgements that the 'father was wrong'.

P.S. I was not the father, and I hope I won't have to be that kind of father to my two sons.

By ashwindoke• 20 May 2009 20:31
ashwindoke

thts lol...

___________________________________________

Reality is a Illusion Caused Due to Deficiency of Alcohol

By bubbly1975• 20 May 2009 20:23
bubbly1975

russel peters rocks!!!!

"naughty chair" and "facing the wall" works for my son...for toddlers that is...

discipline goes hand in hand with consistency and reason.

got a lot of good pointers from THE NANNY book.

***feed my ignorance***

By shreeya• 20 May 2009 19:42
shreeya

Nobody will get hurt dear Weasel...lol...I just love Russell Peters....!!!

Everything's gonna be alright!!!

By Weasel• 20 May 2009 19:27
Weasel

Parenting - Indian style. LOL!

By wonderingearthlinginqatar• 20 May 2009 14:54
Rating: 3/5
wonderingearthlinginqatar

when would you get enough of your of your draculac pranks?

crazy you! ROFL

Glitterfy.com - Glitter Graphics

By pedroh• 20 May 2009 14:51
pedroh

...LOL...nice

http://www.youtube.com/profile?user=pedhonrade&view=videos

By somwerNdmiddle• 20 May 2009 14:21
somwerNdmiddle

even better! tnx drac!

By britexpat• 20 May 2009 14:20
britexpat

That'll teach the little bugger ...... Excellent :)

By Dracula• 20 May 2009 14:19
Rating: 3/5
Dracula

.

.

.

.

By anonymous• 20 May 2009 14:19
anonymous

Well done. xx

I will hoist that up the flag pole and see who salutes it!!

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