Marriage-Bond or Bondage?
By svelte_saggi •
What is your take on it folks?I would really like to know....
Going to church no more makes you a Christian than standing in a garage makes you a car. ~ Garrison Keillor
What is your take on it folks?I would really like to know....
Going to church no more makes you a Christian than standing in a garage makes you a car. ~ Garrison Keillor
Indeed, and in some wedding oat taking, its called "Till Death Do Us Part"
im afraid to get married then falling out of love on my partner..marriage stays bond if the partners are really know each others from strenghness and weaknesess,likes and dislikes,positives and negative traits..so need to know each other very well to have a sucessful marriage..so it wont be a bondage
Common areas of interests, unslefishness, effective communication, trust....these are all factors that will enhance building a healthy relationship in a married life. In reality, both partners have to understand the strengths & weaknesses and the likes & dislikes of each other. The degree of variance is dependent on the society and the circumstances they were born & brought up. Accordingly one has to compensate for other to get the desired result, not as an individual achievement, but as a combined effort for the family to be meanigful in life. It is a mutual & continued effort from both of you where you place yourslef comfortably and get along quite well. It is imperative to note that life is full of adjustments and sacrifices and it should come from both partners. It takes time to get into the right level of acquaintance. Last but not the least, do not pretend in real life... It won't help.. just be the way you are....
It might take time for you to develop similar interests.But it does not matter as long as you both blend well.Sometimes it is boring to have "SAME" opinion.It is too early to judge anything.This is time to enjoy and understand each other.
It is possible for a couple who are so much in love with each other to suddenly "fall out" of love.Noone marries with a "hatred" in mind.
As someone said , it depends on the couple to make the marriage work.It depends on both and not on a single person.
maybe it's just too early to say so,but i'm yet to find a common interest between us (except travelling),in spite of our similar backgrounds.....for instance,i listen to jazz,he listens to heavy metal....i read classic english literature,he reads every issue of F1 racing....i am like miles away from the realm of sports,for him,life is unthinkable without sports!even while travelling,i like shopping for souvenirs,he likes trekking!aaaaaaaargh!
:S
Going to church no more makes you a Christian than standing in a garage makes you a car. ~ Garrison Keillor
You are right. The truth of the matter is that whether a love marriage, or arranged marriage or cohabiting - you only really find out the reality once you start living together and interacting with each other 24/7.
Building a relationship takes time and effort from both parties. It also needs patience , understanding, sometimes compromise and adjustments for both.
communication....ah!miscommunication rather....i have volumes to say on this but i would rather not.in our case,i say something,he comprehends it to mean something else and vice versa.again,we have both left it to time for both of us to understand what the other person actually meant.
...and trust....that's not something that can dawn on us one fine morning.that too will take time.it may be different in the case of love marriages,coz both individuals have accepted all the good and bad sides of each other and have nevertheless decided to spend the rest of their lives together.such relationships are built solely on the foundation of mutual trust.in arranged marriages,it will be developed only in time.
Going to church no more makes you a Christian than standing in a garage makes you a car. ~ Garrison Keillor
some people have a feeling that if they let their partner have their way in the beginning of the relationship,they'll never be able to "control" them later on.so right from the beginning,they try to impose their likings on the other person and to make them behave in the way they like.of the two individuals,the smarter one usually gets his/her way,while the other one silently/noisily succumbs to his/her likes.....sigh!
although most couples swear to equality in their relationship when they start off,it seldom remains that way on the long run.
Going to church no more makes you a Christian than standing in a garage makes you a car. ~ Garrison Keillor
Saggi....I really don’t agree with sticking to marriage just for the sake of it....if a person feel that he or she cannot get along with their spouse, their is not point ion draggin the marriage to please others ...end of the day its not them who will be living with him/her...
If our partner cannot accept us as who or what we are and expects us to change his way wont work in the long run...adjustment and compromise is something which will come automatically/naturally when we are deeply in love and we wont know that we are adjudging or compromising...when adjustment is imposed on us... you will hate it for sure...
i do understand what you say...but there are situations when one is expected to behave in a certain way towards the partner just coz u are married to him/her.....like say,u want to stay late at work to finish some important work.in most married couples' viewpoint,it's criminal not to call and inform u'll be late and even if you do,u'll have to furnish them with all details as to why u're sitting late,who else is with you,when will you come home,blah!blah!if the guy/girl calls up home and says so out of his/her own,it's a totally different issue.usually,it's coz they know they'll have to face dire consequences if they don't.
Going to church no more makes you a Christian than standing in a garage makes you a car. ~ Garrison Keillor
He also has a brother - Basildon Bond, who has letters after his name..
forget raising a child,pajju....a child should be the personification of the emotional love between a man and a woman and ought to come into existence only after an emotional bond has been developed between both individuals....and not as a mere accidental by-product of a mechanical physical relationship like animals.clearly doesn't make sense to me!
Going to church no more makes you a Christian than standing in a garage makes you a car. ~ Garrison Keillor
i know only one BOND, and tat is James Bond.....:(
saggi both spouses are responsible for their well-being. Men and women need to be more understanding of each other and both need to put a little more effort into the raising of the child and in maintaining an active love life.
Excellent points..
However, Adjust and Compromise would still be applicable in a love marriage or any relatioship.
maybe this post of mine would create quite a few ruffled feathers on QL...but i can't resist posting this.
despite being an indian myself,i feel that indian culture gives too much importance to the bond of marriage.even in this 21st century,i know my community considers it a disgrace to the family to have a divorcee son or daughter.they may not say so openly but i have personally heard hushed talks behind backs.ours is one that still advocates arranged marriages which bring together two strangers.prior to marriage minimal interaction is allowed between both parties.and whatever interaction is allowed is heavily monitored causing both the guy and the girl to be perfectly mannered and display only the best sides of their character.so the guy and the girl hardly know each other when they get married.it was acceptable in the past,coz women had literally no choices and there was nothing beyond their husband and the front door of their house.today is an age of educated working women and we too are entitled to make our own choices.ditto for men.it is sheer absurdity to even think that two individuals who have two totally different outlooks should and must remain together as man and wife just coz society demands it.it may not always be that God brings together like-minded people into holy matrimony.in fact,in most cases i have come across,all i get to hear is the word 'adjustment'..."we have to adjust" or "we have to compromise"....two words i have come to hate!Adjust and Compromise!is this what a marriage is all about?
i am clueless.....
Going to church no more makes you a Christian than standing in a garage makes you a car. ~ Garrison Keillor
Sometimes its 60%, other times its 40%.
well-said,FS....hope i get to feel the same way 10 years from now :-)
Going to church no more makes you a Christian than standing in a garage makes you a car. ~ Garrison Keillor
wow FS :)
Beg to differ einstind....
When I got married I was like......how do I even think of living with a stranger for lifelong?? I thought I will stay at least for a year for the money my parents spend on my wedding..lol
After a week... I was like its not as bad as thought..
After a month...Life seems to be more exciting...
After a year...damn why didnt I do it earlier...
After few years...Life has got a whole new meaning...
After a decade...the bond become sooo strong that life seems incomplete without him around…
Conclusion... if you are married to the right person..its a lifelong bond...if you are married to a wrong person you will feel like a bondage...waiting for every possible chance to break free and escape..
i posted this topic in the first place coz i have seen many cases where people have advocated marriage to be a beautiful bond and then later on complaining it to be a bondage from which there is no escape....i have just stepped into this phase of my life and i'm just eager to know what people actaully think about it.as of now,i am confused,to say the least.i still maintain that bachelorhood was certainly more fun.period.
Going to church no more makes you a Christian than standing in a garage makes you a car. ~ Garrison Keillor
Salam
Marriage - business
A valid marriage brings a perpetual and an exclusive bond between spouses. The marriage bond which is concluded and consummated by spouses can never be dissolved. The spouses' consent and consummation forge an irrevocable convenant which even the religion can not break.
The key aspect of a successful marriage is that it flourishes with close acquaintance between spouses both physically and mentally. I would say,it is like a sparkling crystal bowl; if you succeed in handling it carefully, you have your wonderful lifetime bond, or on the other hand if you drop it.... it shatters...and it will end up in a bondage...
Time will prove it...:)
mutually agreed to seal their love to one another.
If it is bondage- well, I can say, marriage made in hell.
Work with dignity. Love with honesty. Live holy.
im not yet married but all i can say is it will be a bondage if u married in a wrong time.. i think live in is much better so that u can quit whatever..
Marriage is a Bond of Love:)
SvelteSaggi ,During the initial years of marriage you tend to think "My hubby the BESTEST(!!!??)".We just cannot help including our hubby's name in userIDs and Pswds too.We think marriage is the GREATEST and HAPPIEST BOND.
But after few years you realise ..particularly after you end up pressurised with responsibilities , you would say it is a BONDAGE and no escape.
I do not want to generalise.But this is how Indian marriages.My friends advised the same when I got married for which I disagreed then.
well your married, you can do what ever you want in the bedroom ;-P
tra la la
married, call it either bond or bondage as long as my hubby will be James bond...wish for.
Marriage is not a ritual or an end. It is a long, intricate, intimate dance together and nothing matters more than your own sense of balance and your choice of partner." - Amy Bloom
saggi: how about 'bonda'?
i agree rehan..your definitely correct.
need this answer so promptly......
Wait and watch, you will know what it is...
It is purely a bond of LOVE and depends how one looks at it, sometime an illusion 4 dimensional view, difficult to describe.
Check this Forum for more details...
http://www.qatarliving.com/node/727970
Marriage is a bond of love respect and understanding
if any of the above ingrdiends are missing it is Bondage
Sometimes it's bondage....sometimes bond...but oftentimes bondage.....
" Winners are just ordinary person with extraordinary determination "
ITS SHOULD BE bond BECAUSE U WILL KNOW WHAT IS world and and life after marriage only ---
Too early saggi Too early. sit back and enjoy..lol
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- Listen to Many...Speak to a Few -
ur personal views are what i expected....
Going to church no more makes you a Christian than standing in a garage makes you a car. ~ Garrison Keillor
Chix_lady, are you married why are you saying so?
" Winners are just ordinary person with extraordinary determination "
its a bondage..tough one.
If you're happy with the marriage, it's a bond...if you're not, it's a bondage....
" Winners are just ordinary person with extraordinary determination "
ah!i just knew u'd post here,buddy! :-D
Going to church no more makes you a Christian than standing in a garage makes you a car. ~ Garrison Keillor
Depends completely on the individuals in it saggi. No generalisations.
no,no,no.....maybe the title is a bit misleading....i meant to ask whether you think marriage is the start of a bond between two individuals or is it some kind of bondage....
Going to church no more makes you a Christian than standing in a garage makes you a car. ~ Garrison Keillor
One depends on money, the other one on force. Both are baaad!