Wonderfully described definitions.......
DICTIONARY:
A place where divorce comes
before marriage
MARRIAGE:
It's an agreement
wherein
a man loses his bachelor degree
and a woman gains her master
LECTURE:
An art of transmitting Information
from the notes of the lecturer
to the notes of students
without passing through the minds
of either
CONFERENCE:
The confusion of one man
multiplied by the
number present
COMPROMISE:
The art of dividing
a cake in such a way that
everybody believes
he got the biggest piece
TEARS:
The hydraulic force by which
masculine will power is
defeated by feminine water-power!
CIGARETTE:
A pinch of tobacco
rolled in paper
with fire at one end
and a fool at the other!
CONFERENCE ROOM:
A place where everybody talks,
nobody listens
and everybody disagrees later on
ECSTASY:
A feeling when you feel
you are going to feel
a feeling
you have never felt before
CLASSIC:
A book
which people praise,
but never read
SMILE:
A curve
that can set
a lot of things straight!
OFFICE:
A place
where you can relax
after your strenuous
home life
YAWN:
The only time
when some married men
ever get to open
their mouth
ETC:
A sign
to make others believe
that you know
more than
you actually do
COMMITTEE:
Individuals
who can do
nothing individually
and sit to decide
that nothing can be done
together
EXPERIENCE:
The name
men give
to their
Mistakes
ATOM BOMB:
An invention
to bring an end
to all
inventions
PHILOSOPHER:
A fool
who torments himself
during life,
to be spoken of
when dead
DIPLOMAT:
A person
who tells you
to go to hell
in such a way
that you actually look forward
to the trip
OPPORTUNIST:
A person
who starts taking bath
if he
accidentally falls
into a river
OPTIMIST:
A person
who while falling
from EIFFEL TOWER
says in midway
"SEE I AM NOT INJURED YET!"
PESSIMIST:
A person
who says that
O is the last letter
in ZERO,
Instead of the first letter
in OPPORTUNITY
MISER:
A person
who lives poor
so that
he can die RICH!
FATHER:
A banker
provided by
nature
CRIMINAL:
A guy
no different
from the other,
unless he gets caught
BOSS:
Someone
who is early
when you are late
and late
when you are early
POLITICIAN:
One who
shakes your hand
before elections
and your Confidence
Later
DOCTOR:
A person
who kills
your ills
by pills,
and kills you
by his bills!
Oh MY - Sachin on FIRE , after completing his 17000 runs.
92 from 71 balls 10 fours and 3 sixes...batting
______________________________________________
- Listen to Many...Speak to a Few -
lol
something is better than nothing :)
No one knows how it is that one glance a boy can break through into a girl's heart
N Bonaparte
wat a hijack ... u guys Dot Arien :D
lol Arien ok am free now :P call :)
Arien .. puck .. me allready started :) .. just wanna go to out for our tommorrow stuff
lol
better today u watch the little master in action, he's with 50 for 47, and aiming to dismiss aussies :)
No one knows how it is that one glance a boy can break through into a girl's heart
N Bonaparte
Candle light dinner with Bajju?? bloody gays lol
______________________________________________
- Listen to Many...Speak to a Few -
rein as usual honey ... after longtime .. how u doing?
arien ...................lol
Dot.com sorry maybe next week .. coz my makeup set over .. have to buy newone
i'm invited as a guest for a music program :D
No one knows how it is that one glance a boy can break through into a girl's heart
N Bonaparte
pajju, whats up buddy?
"Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak."
Pajju
i wish to be invited for a candle dinner ;)
No one knows how it is that one glance a boy can break through into a girl's heart
N Bonaparte
am thru with it Dot.com. Its a weekend buddy , wher the heck is ma glasssss...lol
______________________________________________
- Listen to Many...Speak to a Few -
its a very long list, im lazy right now..
"Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak."
Dot.com this TIG :)
lol
PS: Arien: Do we have else then politics, why always discussed with subcontinents?
No one knows how it is that one glance a boy can break through into a girl's heart
N Bonaparte
Dot.comu its Thanks For Sharing, but not in the oxford . ;D
______________________________________________
- Listen to Many...Speak to a Few -
nice 1
Pay peanuts & you get Monkeys
sorry buddy, i'm not native english, can't get TSF. :P
No one knows how it is that one glance a boy can break through into a girl's heart
N Bonaparte
TFS dot.com :D
______________________________________________
- Listen to Many...Speak to a Few -
lols arien...thanx a lot for sharing...:)
Accountant - someone who solves a problem you didn't know you had in a way you don't understand.
Ambassador : An honest man sent to lie abroad for the good of his country.
Anonymous : The worlds most popular author.
Antique: an item your grandparents bought, your parents got rid of, and you're buying again.
Appendix -a portion of a book, for which nobody yet has discovered any use.
Baby : A loud voice at one end and no sense of responsibility at the other.
Baby-sitter: a teenager who must behave like an adult so that the adults who are out can behave like teenagers.
Bank - a place that will lend you money if you can prove you don't need it.
Beauty : The power with which a woman charms a lover and terrifies a husband.
Boss: A person who comes early to see who comes late.
Bus: A vehicle that runs faster when you run after it and runs slowly when you are inside it.
Capital Punishment: Killing people who kill people to prove that killing people is wrong.
Cheque Book: A book with unhappy ending.
Chickens: the only animals you eat before they are born and after they are dead.
College: the four year period when parents are permitted access to the telephone.
Conference: the confusion of one man multiplied by the number present.
Conference: A meeting of bored people.
Criminal: A guy no different from the rest of us except that he got caught.
Committee: Individuals who can do nothing individually and sit to decide that nothing can be done together.
Conclusion : What you reach when you're tired of thinking.
Conscience: the thing which hurts when everything else feels good.
Consciousness: the annoying time between naps.
Creator: a comedian whose audience is afraid to laugh.
Cynic: a man who, when he smells flowers, looks around for a coffin.
Diet : a brief period of starvation followed by a gain of five pounds.
Diplomacy : The art of saying 'Nice doggie!'... till you can find a rock.
Diplomat: a person who tells you to go to hell in such a way that you actually look forward for the trip.
Divorce: future tense of marriage.
Divorce lawyer: a lawyer whose primary responsibility is to make sure you get half and he gets the other half.
Doctor: a person who kills your ills by pills, and kills you with his bills.
Earth: A small planet with major problems.
Education : is the ability to listen to almost anything without losing your temper or your self-confidence.
Etc.: a sign to make others believe that you know more than you actually do.
Exam: Where foolish asks questions which wise cannot answer.
Experience : the name men give to their mistakes.
Father: a banker provided by the nature.
Fiction: the story told by a completed income tax form.
Foreign Aid: The transfer of money from poor people in rich countries to rich people in poor countries
Group discussion: a place where everybody talks, nobody listens and everybody disagrees later on.
Justice : A decision in your favor.
Keyboard: the standard way to generate computer errors.
Kitchen: Final laboratory of women.
Laziness: the habit of resting before you get tired.
Life: a sexually transmitted disease with 100% fatality rate.
Love: Temporary insanity curable by marriage.
Miser: a person who lives poor so that he can die rich.
Mosquito: an insect that makes you like flies better.
Old Age: When you wink at a girl and she says, “Anything wrong with your eyes, Uncle?”
Optimist: 1) A person who, while falling from Eiffel tower, says in midway "see, I am not injured yet." 2)Unborn pessimist
Patriotism: the willingness to kill and be killed for trivial reasons dreamed up by politicians.
Politician: 1) salespeople who sell voter's dreams but deliver only nightmares. 2) One who shakes your hand before elections and your confidence after.
Politics: Business of uneducated and jobless people.
Prices: The only thing, which violates the law of gravity.
Psychologist: a man who watches everyone else when a beautiful girl enters the room.
Rumor: 1) news that travels at the speed of sound. 2) sound which travels faster than light.
School teacher: a disillusioned person who used to think he liked children.
Secret: information you distribute to one person at a time.
Selfish: annoying quality of someone who has what I want, but is not prepared to give it to me.
Smile: a curve of the mouth that can set a lot of things straight.
Swimming pool: a mob of people with water in it.
Tattoo: permanent proof of temporary insanity.
Tears: the hydraulic force by which masculine power is defeated by feminine power.
Tomorrow: one of the greatest labor saving devices of today.
Valentine's day: A day when you have dreams of a candlelight dinner, diamonds, and romance, but consider yourself lucky to get a card
Consultant: Someone who takes a subject you understand and makes it sound confusing.
No one knows how it is that one glance a boy can break through into a girl's heart
N Bonaparte
cheers chinx :) ______________________________________________
- Listen to Many...Speak to a Few -
Love it!
Don't let Timebandit see the 'MARRIAGE' one.....he'll want to bring the date forward!! :)
'Up there for thinking....down there for dancing.'