Abuse - mental abuse worse..

Have heard comments from married lady friends years ago and repeated by other friends here - that their husbands drive them crazy and they were not really kidding.

Just did a quick google search and this turned up:- Sorry about the website address but the point is the article therein. Pls read it selectively if you find it and ignore the quotes, they apply for the Monotheists only. I've deleted sensitive references but have posted the relevant portions FYI. Apologies that it's a bit lengthy but had to be done.

http://www.___________ .com/Mens Page/abusive_husbands.htm

"No man should ever mentally abuse his wife. Far more husbands are guilty of mental abuse than physical abuse, but words can at times lead to actions."

"...Life can be frustrating at times. It's frustrating when a man sees beautiful women at work or in the store and then comes home to his lackluster wife who's been stuck in the house all day cleaning and cooking. It's just not fair to the wife."

"...Why? because the emotions, stress, and angry feelings often build up over the years."

"It's very easy for husbands (especially ____ husbands who generally have more submissive wives) to be abusive. Listen guys, don't kiss a gift horse in the mouth (remember the Trojan horse story). If you have a submissive wife, then love and appreciate her before you drive her into a state of clinical depression). Give her room to make mistakes. You wife is human and does have a right to have faults you know. She has a right to have problem areas in her character, just like you do. So often, husbands expect their wives to be perfect, but they're not. We must allow our wives some understanding and sanctuary for their faults. If you're a control freak or a bully, then you will end up alone or divorced one day.

People change. I've known married couples to get divorced that I never imagined would have divorced. This is why it's even more important for you fellas to RESPECT your wives. It's all about respect. Your wife may have put up with you for the last 15 or 20 years, and then one day your receiving a summons from the local sheriff to appear in court for a divorce..."
- Taking for granted.

"I knew a man who told his wife that he loved her every morning, but would blow up at her nearly every day when he was about to go to work. He hated his work, but had a good paying career. He was pressured to leave for work and frustrated that he had to be there, so anything his wife did to aggravate him set him off in rage."

If your wife doesn't get out much, then you watch the kids for awhile and let her get out. I knew a woman who spent so much time at home with the children that she lost her motor skills (her ability to talk and converse with other adults). She became as a little child herself and was a nervous wreck around her husband. He was busy working and burning the candle at both ends going to school, he had no idea what was happening to his wife. Years later, their marriage was on the rocks with serious problems. The wife ended up seeing multiple psychiatrist for sedatives and help. Listen men, you are responsible for your wife's well-being. She needs to get out of the house every day for a few hours (and a couple days a week for several hours). Anyone would go nuts being stuck in a house with a bunch of babies all the time. I know it's not easy, but it's our job to figure out ideas to make things work.

Learn to analyze the situation and come up with practical solutions. EVERY marriage can eliminate many of its problems by implementing practical solutions. It's up to the husband to think up the solutions. For example: If your wife is having a hard time keeping up with the dishes, then buy paper plates and utensils. If your wife continually loses her key, then have her tie it to her shoe lace or wear it on a necklace. If your wife likes to talk on the phone, then buy a cell phone for you to reach her. I am a firm believer in practical solutions and communication in a marriage. There is no reason to argue and fight. Every argument should be followed in the days to come be an analysis of what caused the argument and how to prevent it from happening again. If you are being abusive towards your wife, it's because you either don't love her or you're stressed out. If you're stressed out, some of the tips on this page should help you a lot. .. She has a right to be treated with respect. Remember, anyone can live with anybody if they can learn to be a nobody.