Do divorce hurts?
We all know this in our minds, but it takes going through divorce to know in your gut just how painful divorce is. Imagine whatever adjectives you wish. Chances are they don't adequately describe the deep, searing, pain that comes from tearing a relationship at the same time that you adapt to the many other changes in your life that often flow from divorce. During divorce, you will likely feel things, think things, say things, and do things that you would never feel, think, say, or do during any other time of your life; calls divorce "Crazy Time."
Aside from the obvious change in your relationship with your spouse and members of your spouse's family, divorce often means changes in your relationships with other people as well. It's a rare divorcing couple who doesn't report that at least some of their friends take sides in the divorce, meaning that some of the people you have considered friends for years may now view you as wrong or evil. Also, we know from research that divorced people themselves tend to change their relationships. They tend to spend less time with their married friends and more time with other single people, primarily divorced people.
all consideration in, still divorce should not been even considered an option! But to some, it is!
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"THANKS A LOT, MY PM IS NOW ACCESSIBLE"
if it is wisely-chosen...it won't hurts.
soniya said well of course, if one isn't happy with the marriage, life is to MOVE ON..Give divorce and start seeing someone else..its so easy, u see.."
Hmm.. "moving on" doesn't mean getting divorced. "Moving on" can mean changing the situation one is in, for the better. Not easy of course, but nothing is impossible. Where there is a will ,there will always be a way. Prayers/meditation/(whatever floats your boat in stabilizing yourself and re-focusing), time and effort will bear always bear fruit. Never give up and you will rise above any circumstance.
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Beauty lies in the eyes of the beerholder.
You know what? cut your losses and move on.If you had true friends they will stick to you, regardless of the situation.
Maya1188-
Contact the Qatar Foundation for Child and Woman Protection
466-6671/6672/6673
http://www.gov.qa/wps/portal?New_WCM_Context=/wps/wcm/connect/cnt/en/1_Home/14_Ministries_and_Authorities/QFCWP_EN/
--All you really need is love, but a little chocolate now and then doesn't hurt-- Lucy Van Pelt
Probably a lot would Maya.
"We submit to the majority because we have to. But we are not compelled to call our attitude of subjection a posture of respect." Ambrose Bierce
I want a divorce...
Hmm..not many can dare say it!
yup they are afraid if they will make women shelter all wives will leave their husbands lolzzz
And that's why there should be a women's shelter in this country :(
"We submit to the majority because we have to. But we are not compelled to call our attitude of subjection a posture of respect." Ambrose Bierce
i wish it would be that easy....but u dont know our culture i rather die .....i am totally dependent on my husband
So leave him and get your son out of that environment.
"We submit to the majority because we have to. But we are not compelled to call our attitude of subjection a posture of respect." Ambrose Bierce
yup i know actually my husband himself grew up by abusive father
It's no good for you son to grow up with an abusive parent. He will end up becoming an abuser himself.
"We submit to the majority because we have to. But we are not compelled to call our attitude of subjection a posture of respect." Ambrose Bierce
I am only in my marriage bcoz of my son...i wanted to get divorce since the first time he hit me....
one_shot
its very true , thanks for sharing
one_shot, I have read this long back..i think on QL itself..This is the best story to revive neone's broken marriage..But whenever i have read it, i always move to tears..But hang on, i m happily married (TOUCWOOD) so don't assume ne wrong things..lol..
hey....divorce is somethin terrible but it is good as well in some cases....lol. everythin depends on the situation. quite frankly no idea of divorce...dint happen yet...still single....lol.
i was in a relationship for 5yrs....2005-2010...new year came up with break-up. stupid religion problems....
it hurts a lot...no one can explain tht pain in words...............................
One shot, I read ur story it is very true, I firmly believe that constant trying in marriage can change the world.
-: Perfectly ImPerfect :-
sometimes people are glad to get rid of the bastard as well.
is a very serious thing and should not be taken lightly. All consideration should be taken prior to marriage!
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"Why is my PM access blocked?"
MARRIAGE
When I got home that night as my wife served dinner, I held her hand and said, I've got something to tell you. She sat down and ate quietly. Again I observed the hurt in her eyes.
Suddenly I didn't know how to open my mouth. But I had to let her know what I was thinking. I want a divorce.. I raised the topic calmly.
She didn't seem to be annoyed by my words, instead she asked me softly, why?
I avoided her question. This made her angry. She threw away the chopsticks and shouted at me, you are not a man! That night, we didn't talk to each other. She was weeping. I knew she wanted to find out what had happened to our marriage. But I could hardly give her a satisfactory answer; she had lost my heart to Dew. I didn't love her anymore. I just pitied her!
With a deep sense of guilt, I drafted a divorce agreement which stated that she could own our house, our car, and 30% stake of my company.
She glanced at it and then tore it into pieces. The woman who had spent ten years of her life with me had become a stranger. I felt sorry for her wasted time, resources and energy but I could not take back what I had said for I loved Dew so dearly. Finally she cried loudly in front of me, which was what I had expected to see. To me her cry was actually a kind of release. The idea of divorce which had obsessed me for several weeks seemed to be firmer and clearer now.
The next day, I came back home very late and found her writing something at the table. I didn't have supper but went straight to sleep and fell asleep very fast because I was tired after an eventful day with Dew.
When I woke up, she was still there at the table writing. I just did not care so I turned over and was asleep again.
In the morning she presented her divorce conditions: she didn't want anything from me, but needed a month's notice before the divorce.
She requested that in that one month we both struggle to live as normal a life as possible. Her reasons were simple: our son had his exams in a month's time and she didn't want to disrupt him with our broken marriage.
This was agreeable to me. But she had something more, she asked me to recall how I had carried her into out bridal room on our wedding day.
She requested that everyday for the month's duration I carry her out of our bedroom to the front door ever morning.. I thought she was going crazy. Just to make our last days together bearable I accepted her odd request.
I told Dew about my wife's divorce conditions.. . She laughed loudly and thought it was absurd. No matter what tricks she applies, she has to face the divorce, she said scornfully..
My wife and I hadn't had any body contact since my divorce intention was explicitly expressed. So when I carried her out on the first day, we both appeared clumsy. Our son clapped behind us, daddy is holding mummy in his arms. His words brought me a sense of pain. From the bedroom to the sitting room, then to the door, I walked over ten meters with her in my arms. She closed her eyes and said softly; don't tell our son about the divorce. I nodded, feeling somewhat upset. I put her down outside the door. She went to wait for the bus to work. I drove alone to the office.
On the second day, both of us acted much more easily. She leaned on my chest. I could smell the fragrance of her blouse. I realized that I hadn't looked at this woman carefully for a long time.. I realized she was not young any more. There were fine wrinkles on her face, her hair was graying! Our marriage had taken its toll on her. For a minute I wondered what I had done to her.
On the fourth day, when I lifted her up, I felt a sense of intimacy returning. This was the woman who had given ten years of her life to me.
On the fifth and sixth day, I realized that our sense of intimacy was growing again. I didn't tell Dew about this. It became easier to carry her as the month slipped by. Perhaps the everyday workout made me stronger.
She was choosing what to wear one morning. She tried on quite a few dresses but could not find a suitable one. Then she sighed, all my dresses have grown bigger. I suddenly realized that she had grown so thin, that was the reason why I could carry her more easily.
Suddenly it hit me... she had buried so much pain and bitterness in her heart. Subconsciously I reached out and touched her head.
Our son came in at the moment and said, Dad, it's time to carry mum out. To him, seeing his father carrying his mother out had become an essential part of his life. My wife gestured to our son to come closer and hugged him tightly. I turned my face away because I was afraid I might change my mind at this last minute. I then held her in my arms, walking from the bedroom, through the sitting room, to the hallway. Her hand surrounded my neck softly and naturally. I held her body tightly; it was just like our wedding day.
But her much lighter weight made me sad. On the last day, when I held her in my arms I could hardly move a step. Our son had gone to school. I held her tightly and said, I hadn't noticed that our life lacked intimacy.
I drove to office.... jumped out of the car swiftly without locking the door. I was afraid any delay would make me change my mind...I walked upstairs. Dew opened the door and I said to her, Sorry, Dew, I do not want the divorce anymore.
She looked at me, astonished, and then touched my forehead.. Do you have a fever? She said. I moved her hand off my head. Sorry, Dew, I said, I won't divorce. My marriage life was boring probably because she and I didn't value the details of our lives, not because we didn't love each other any more. Now I realize that since I carried her into my home on our wedding day I am supposed to hold her until death do us apart.
Dew seemed to suddenly wake up. She gave me a loud slap and then slammed the door and burst into tears. I walked downstairs and drove away.
At the floral shop on the way, I ordered a bouquet of flowers for my wife. The salesgirl asked me what to write on the card. I smiled and wrote, I'll carry you out every morning until death do us apart.
That evening I arrived home, flowers in my hands, a smile on my face, I run up stairs, only to find my wife in the bed - dead.
The small details of your lives are what really matter in a relationship. It is not the mansion, the car, property, the money in the bank. These create an environment conducive for happiness but cannot give happiness in themselves. So find time to be your spouse's friend and do those little things for each other that build intimacy. Do have a real happy marriage!
If you don't share this, nothing will happen to you.
If you do, you just might save a marriage.
Many of life's failures are people who did not realize how close they were to success when they gave up.
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Came
Broke
Left
if you don't accept injustice on yourself,why you do it on others???
Irony!!!!
there's no divorce in P.I. unless you're a MUSLIM.
although it is not accepted for us filipino, it think that would be more better!!! coz, it is more painful to be with the person hurt you most and continue hurting you..right!!! life is short,enjoy to the fullest..everybody deserves to be happy..
well of course, if one isn't happy with the marriage, life is to MOVE ON..Give divorce and start seeing someone else..its so easy, u see..i think even a 10yr old knows the answer for this..lol
just wanted to know the real thing if it will be a healthy marriage, if not would it be divorce is the solution.. kee it up!!!!
U had just posted about HEALTHY MARRIAGES..How can u think both the aspects at the same time?? i mean MARRIAGE first and then DIVORCE?? LOL..always THINK POSITIVE...
"It's Complicated", you'll know the answer!
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"Why is my PM access blocked?"
There is no doubt about the fact that divorce is at an all time high. Most couples who get married, especially for the firs time, fail to stay that way and that is a problem. It seems that couples need more than one go at the marriage thing in order to make it work and when you are getting out of a relationship that was not happy or productive it is important to keep that in mind.
It only hurts financially.... for most people they are glad to get rid of the bitch...
Explain the reason of separation to the children.. They are also affected..
~Welcome Sunshine~
It's better than staying in an unhappy marriage.
"We submit to the majority because we have to. But we are not compelled to call our attitude of subjection a posture of respect." Ambrose Bierce
Depends on the situation. If divorce is the best option, make it with simle.... afterall things that take you to get divorced are also controlled by you. You want one, you have one.
I think its a big relief for some people....than being in an abusive marriage!!
Offcourse it hurts.....on both side.....peoples life change drastically. I can't imagine even.
If otherwise, mutually agreed and desperate to start a NEW life.....then it is more fun!