Happy Weekend!

A husband and wife were trying to set up a new password for their computer. Her husband put 'mypenis' and the wife fell on the ground laughing cause it said, "Error. Not long enough."
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A girl needs a blood transfusion, so her boyfriend gives her his. Months later they break up, and he wants his blood back. So she hands him a tampon and says she'll make monthly payments.
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Droll Traffic Cop

A traffic policeman stops a Maisie and asks to see her driving licence.

'Lady, it says here that you should be wearing glasses when driving.'

'Well,' replies Maisie, 'I have contacts.'

'Lady, I don't care who you know, you're still going to get a ticket.'

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Amusing Examination

Father: Son, what are your results in the end of term examination?
Son: Underwater.

Father: What do you mean, underwater?
Son: Below "C" level.

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A Friday Funny Story

Roger left for work on Friday morning. Friday was payday, so instead of going home, he stayed out the entire weekend partying with the boys and spending his entire pay packet.

Finally, Roger appeared at home on Sunday night, and obviously he was confronted by his angry wife, Martha who castigated Roger for nearly two hours with a tirade befitting his actions. Finally, Martha stopped the nagging and said to Roger, 'How would you like it if you didn't see me for two or three days?'

Roger replied grimly, 'That would be fine with me.'

Monday went by and he didn't see his Martha. Tuesday and Wednesday came and went with the same results.

By the Thursday, the swelling had gone down just enough so that Roger he could see Martha a little out of the corner of his left eye