Joke - Marriage
* Getting married is very much like going to a restaurant with friends. You order what you want, and then when you see what the other person has, you wish you had ordered that.
* Man: Is there any way for long life?
Doctor: Get married.
Man: Will it help?
Doctor: No, but the thought of long life will never come.
A man said to his wife one day, "I don't know how you can be
so stupid and so beautiful all at the same time.
" The wife responded, "Allow me to explain.
God made me beautiful so you would be attracted to me;
God made me stupid so I would be attracted to you!
A Sardar & his wife filed an application for Divorce.
Judge asked: How'll U divide your kids, U"VE 3 children?
Sardar replied: Ok! We'll apply NEXT YEAR
Gabbar, no need to be excused..You better know what u do here...
Sheessh!! i m outta here now..
Excuse me soniya..
Gabbar, when will u stop stalking me??
oh sorry... we think alike.
A man went to his friend's home for lunch. Every time his host address his wife "My Love", "Darling", "Sweetheart",
The man looked at him and said, "After so many years of marriage you still address you wife this way."
The host said, "Well, honestly, I've forgotten her name."
Soniya, you are very funny.
Your jokes are too good. Mind refreshed.
I always like MMAwan jokes and posts.
MMAwan, enjoy it...:))
kadavsk because of your post we could read lots of good joke.
A man was invited for dinner at a friend's house. Every time the host needed something, he preceded his request to his wife by calling her "My Love", "Darling", "Sweetheart", etc., etc.
His friend looked at him and said, "That's really nice after all of these years you've been married to keep saying those little pet names."
The host said, "Well, honestly, I've forgotten her name."
"Honey," said this husband to his wife, "I invited a friend home for supper."
"What? Are you crazy? The house is a mess, I haven't been shopping, all the dishes are dirty, and I don't feel like cooking a fancy meal!"
"I know all that."
"Then why did you invite a friend for supper?"
"Because the poor fool's thinking about getting married."
A husband read an article to his wife about how many words women use a
day... 30,000 to a man's 15,000.
The wife replied, "The reason has to be because we have to repeat
everything to men...
The husband then turned to his wife and asked, "What?"
Sarah no cure for me ... :-p
dont make me upload my virus to ur brain .. lol
I just got home from work and the wife said - "I'm very sorry dear, but the cat's eaten your dinner".
I said "Don't worry - I'll get you a new cat".
"You can be either happy or married"
Women are happy and men are married
" Wish you happy married life"
Doubtful hence wishes
3. Three FASTEST means of Communication :
1. Tele-Phone
2. Tele-Vision
3. Tell to Woman
Need still FASTER - Tell her NOT to tell ANY ONE.
Mind posting jokes in ENGLISH we are in the main forums!
Pehle woh meri girlfrnd thi
Pehle woh meri girlfrnd thi,
Mein bolta tha wo sunti thi,
Phir woh meri mangetr bani,
Woh bolti thi mein sunta tha
Jab se woh meri BIWI bani,
Hum dono bolte hain or muhalla sutna hai
The husband who wants a happy marriage
should learn to keep his mouth shut and his cheque book open.
How Women call their husband!
1st Year: Jaanu
2nd Year: OG
3rd Year: Sunte Ho
4th Year: O Munne k papa
5th Year: Kaha mar gaye
6th Year: Aap aate ho k mai aaon
thanks tinkerbell ,,,,,
After 25 yrs wife said: Do u remember when u proposed me,I was so overwhelmed I didnt talk for 1 hour hubby:Yes dear that was happiest hour of my life
Comments here would scare away any male planning to get married :-)
stages of marriage
Three stages of marriage :
1st: Mad for each other,
2nd: Made for each other,
3rd: Mad because of each other.
Wife : Do you want dinner?
Husband : Sure, what are my choices?
Wife : Yes and no.
What is the Difference Between Mother & Wife ?
– Mother Brings U into this world crying?& the wife ensures U Continue to do so.
A Wife hit her Husband with a Frying Pan.
Husband:What was THAT for?
Wife:I found a paper in your pocket, with the name Jenny on it.
Husband:I played RACE last week and Jenny was the name of my HORSE.
Wife:Sorry!
Next day the Wife hit him with the Frying Pan AGAIN!
Husband:Why?
Wife:Your Horse PHONED!
Is there any cure for moayad virus? just curious.:)
Chulbul,is there any cure for moayad virus?.:)just curious..:))
tinker moayad virus attack.need some time.may b another 100 yrs..
English is a funny language...think i put the YOUR in the wrong place :P
first man: My wife is an Angel.
Second man: Your lucky mine is still alive
Hmm yeah like they say in India All Indians are my brothers and YOUR sisters :P
common we not making fun we just having a good time here and in the end we all brothers ... ( i like it when i sound wise ) lol
kooh kooh kooh yeah smoke .. kooh kooh
as we can see in diagram A for Avatar, chulbul's brains are unable to process comments due to big green watermelon placed on head.
TFS...
its ok tinker i think his mind is loading give him some time .. lol
is that joke tinkers ???100 yrs..stil confused..:)
Marriage-No joke.
yes tinker..that is y i gt little confuse 20 year n happy?anyways hope this joke turn true fr u...:)
oh,my God!I think i know u moayad..I knew someone from jordan.His name is moayad..LOL.
what can i do .. im so kind ... and i have a big heart ... :-p
Haha..lol. moayad..
acha that waz joke..well n that shud b joke
i love women so much that i cant stay with only one .. :-p
opps.sorry for the double post..
marriage a JOKE???
LOL...
tinkers 20 years and happy CONGRATULATION...
Addictions
Before
You tell her you don't mind the occasional cold beer on a hot day with your mates, and that you've taken recreational drugs but those days are well and truly over.
After
For the fifth night in a row you stagger in blotto, dig out your stash and skin up, pass out in the lounge in your underpants and expect her to accept that you're just being you.
Bodily functions
Before
You spray aerosol after a crap; piss on the side of the bowl to reduce noise and never, ever fart in her presence.
After
You fart in front of her with impunity and obvious pride, commenting on the food intake for the day and speculating on the resultant odour. Despite repeated pleas to the contrary, you fart in bed and hold her head under the covers. You think it's hilarious.
Attention span
Before
Her words are hypnotic; her wit is incisive; her anecdotes about her life pre-you are spellbinding. Over candlelight and coffee you listen with interest and politely chortle as she recounts stories of her childhood.
After
Your eyes glaze over as soon as she mentions anything that doesn't involve you. What's more, you develop the uncanny ability to be able to concentrate on the T.V and listen to her at the same time. The phrase, "Are you listening to me?" becomes an evening mantra.
Addictions
Before
You tell her you don't mind the occasional cold beer on a hot day with your mates, and that you've taken recreational drugs but those days are well and truly over.
After
For the fifth night in a row you stagger in blotto, dig out your stash and skin up, pass out in the lounge in your underpants and expect her to accept that you're just being you.
Bodily functions
Before
You spray aerosol after a crap; piss on the side of the bowl to reduce noise and never, ever fart in her presence.
After
You fart in front of her with impunity and obvious pride, commenting on the food intake for the day and speculating on the resultant odour. Despite repeated pleas to the contrary, you fart in bed and hold her head under the covers. You think it's hilarious.
Attention span
Before
Her words are hypnotic; her wit is incisive; her anecdotes about her life pre-you are spellbinding. Over candlelight and coffee you listen with interest and politely chortle as she recounts stories of her childhood.
After
Your eyes glaze over as soon as she mentions anything that doesn't involve you. What's more, you develop the uncanny ability to be able to concentrate on the T.V and listen to her at the same time. The phrase, "Are you listening to me?" becomes an evening mantra.
Second one is really funny though heard it before...
Marriage is like the meat section.... oh i'd rather not :D
Mariage is like a horse and carriage.. The horse is a living thing and the carriage is not?