Going Dutch...?

Oh, and friends don't leach off of friends in social situations.

That reminds me. Rizks still owes me for the Paani Poori, Papadoms and Sambosas from our last meet up.. :o(

At least the jobless friend has some sort of "excuse" for not having $$ - he has no excuse for tagging along and expecting others to pay his tab.

I used to socialize with a couple who would order the cheapest item on the menu (and pay for it) but expected to "share" others' food items.

I don't socialize with them anymore - a friend is one who can reciprocate in some way, and money is the least of it, watering someone's plants etc. when your buddy is out of town for example is a way to meet one's social obligations if $$ is an issue for one party.

So why is it like that when u look in the drawer you see the papers and then you try to take them out it doesnt happen

now a days its same for the romantic and friendly relationship :)))

i guess the payment terms and conditions are different in a romantic relationship and a friendly one is...umm...different :D

Sorry but if he is just happy to tag along and allow others to pay his bill EVERY TIME then it's more than obvious he is happy to do that for as long as he can get away with it! He might be unemployed but doesn't everybody else work hard for their income? Just do not invite him. He sure seems happy enough to just scrounge of others. He should have some pride and not just think that if others paid for him once, that doesn't mean they will be happy to do it everytime.

I was in a relationship where i always paid for everything and that didn't feel good at all!

Now that i am going out again women i meet tend to get a funny look when i have them pay there half.

Seems that Those women dont seem to realize that they dont just get the benefits of equality without the downside that comes with it.

but do u let somebody know that you consider them ONLY as an acquaintance?if so,how do u do that without standing the chance of offending them?what if the other person thinks of you as a friend and expects you to behave in a particular way?

SS... for me either a person is a friend or he/she is not... and an acquaintance, remains an acquaintance (even though both are synonyms as per dictionary)... I always keep the two separate.

For few occasions its fine to pay, but if he's takin it for granted and want us to pay all time then we need to stop it and ask him gently to pay not all atleast part of it ?

But if he is a shameless guy, then i wont even be bothered to invite him for any gatherings !

Lol CL ..

Rizks .. please find some other source for ur expenses =P

CL is already in debt ..stop bothering him

Captain you got scammed dude...how could u pay for his haircut when he clearly does not have any hair?

what if the friend is just an acquaintance who you know and not really a close friend you see every day?

tinkerbell10...I don't call everyone a friend, I have a select no. of persons whom I call my friend(s).... may be, that would make it clear what I meant.

I paid for Rizks haircut so many times.. but still he comes every weekend for a new 1 :(

do you guys think its FAIR ?? :(

Reminds me of those pesky neighbours who will come and ask for a small bowl of sugar or little salt, or 2 onions, or 2 tomatoes, or even worse, make an international call for just one minute.

A genuine need can always be distinguished from a bad habit, and such people who live off others actually prey on their friend's generosity, knowing well that they wont point out whats actually happening.

If someone is a "friend", he remains so at all times... how many times, is not applicable. Just MO.

i always thought the boyfriends paid up everytime coz whether the girl is working or not,he still gets to enjoy the 'benefits' (ahem!ahem!) of being her official boyfriend....so it's actually okay for him to pay up,no? :P okay,i'm being wicked here! LOL but just as a matter of concern for his dwindling finance,we could sometimes 'offer' to pay up.....and if possible after seeing the bill :D LOL

Rizks me having testicles is as sure as you not having hair.

u raised a valuble point :))

Phew! Tinks for once you didnt attack the man's testicles by saying its his DUTY to do so coz she's giving him something in return...oh NO i said "testicles" are you going to go into a raging fit now :P

in my opinion: if that person will make a difference in the gathering and add gladness in the environment, then it does not matter if i pay extra riyals, but if he will be useless and just there to increase the number of people then let him stay at home better for him.

and in anyway that person should have his own moral standards which will prevent him from accepting the charity of others every time.

SS, I have a question, what about if its a working/jobless girl who goes out with her bf (not husband) and expects him to pay her share all the time. One, its possible that the guy does not mind paying for her or two should she pitch in from time to time as well or does 'shame' have nothing to do in this situation?

u will find people being more rude than this :((

wow!is this thread becoming a place to settle dues? LOL

but how can one have the heart to say something so rudely to a person?possibly he's broke....he's already in mental turmoil coz of joblessness....possibly these outings are his only solace to soothe his mind....and as a man,probably even he will be feeling ashamed that he's making somebody else pay for him....but he doesn't have a choice....

personally,i feel sorry for such chaps :(

Exchuse me? I thought that was supposed to be a treat from all the pakistani's when they lost to India in cricket.

this has 2 scenarios one happening with my frnd and second can be wth myself.

1st one i dnt have any prob in paying his bills but at the same time i agree to what TB said.

2nd situation i will nt go to such gathering where i cant pay

2.75/- for a coffee ? :(

Which cheap coffeee you people are having man -shame on you....lol

Khanan I'm considering making estwlkajzlkd my buddy as well, free ciggies!!

you still owe me QR 2.75/- for your bloody coffe at Dubz :P

Smokes are freaking expensive now a days as well. You have an urge to smoke get your own freaking pack!

About the topic, yes we find ourselves in such situations many times, personally i dont know how to deal with it either, if the guy knows he cant pay for his share i suppose he should not go to such gatherings.

is smoke your friend too ? ;)

damn your nickname :(hard to spell and pronounce :((

I am very generous, I let my friends pay and I thank them many many times :P

Back to topic, I have a friend that does the same but with cigarettes. He says that he is a light smoker, and he don't want to buy a pack because he don't want to be addicted.

You jack*ss, I know that you are reading my post now !!! ... 12 cigarettes a day is addiction.

I don't consider it for cigarettes cost, but I really hate it when I open my damn pack, and see it EMPTY!

I am coming to your desk to kick your butt now, better run you @#$#@$@%#$

on the other hand, I never mind paying your bills :)

so when we are going out ?

this rule ? :(

Your friend can be honest and tell his buddy that he doesn't mind picking his share of bill on odd occasions, but he can't do it all the times. If the friend of your buddy is sensible one, he would understand, if he doesn't it really worth having penny pinching friends?

our gathering in QL or outside had set rule~

clear your bills before you leave the table. Pay what you have eaten.