Classified classics

** A superb and economical restaurant. Fine food, expertly served by waitresses in appetizing forms.

** No matter what your topcoat is made of, this miracle spray will make it really repellent.

** Sale! Sale! An antique desk suitable for lady with thick legs and large drawers.

** We don't tear your clothing with machinery. We do it carefully by hand.

** Great chance to have your ears pierced and get an extra pair to take home, too.

** Toaster: A gift that every member of the family appreciates. Automatically burns toast.

** Dinner Special - Turkey \$2.75; Chicken or Beef \$2.50; Children \$2.00.

** Have several very old dresses from grandmother in beautiful condition.

******

Pilot: Have you ever flown in a small plane before?

Passenger: No, I have not.

Pilot: Well, here is some chewing gum. It will help to keep your ears from popping.

Pilot (after the plane landed): Did the gum help?

Passenger: Yep. It worked fine. The only trouble is I can’t get the gum out of my ears.