Pilot Jokes
Got many frequent flyers in QL so...Some jokes to cool off the day..
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Control Tower: Have you got enough fuel or not?
Pilot: Yes.
Control Tower: Yes what??
Pilot: Yes, SIR!
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Pilot: "Ground, XY-line 195, requesting start-up."
Tower: "Sorry, XY-line 195, we don't have your flight plan. What is your destination ?"
Pilot: "To Leipzig, like every Monday."
Tower: "But today is Tuesday!"
Pilot: "WHAT? But Tuesday we are off !"
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Tower: You have traffic at 10 o'clock,6 miles!
Pilot: Give us another hint, we have digital watches!
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Ground Control: "123DG, bear to the left, disabled aircraft on the right."
Pilot: "123DG, Roger, I have the disabled aircraft in sight, but I don't see the bear yet."
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LH741: "Tower, give me a rough time-check!"
Tower: "It's Tuesday, Sir."
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Pilot: "...Tower, please call me a fuel truck."
Tower: "Roger. You are a fuel truck."
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Tower: "Delta Fox Alpha, hold position, Marshall will park you."
Pilot: "Roger. Looking out for John Wayne."
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Tower: Mission 123, do you have problems?
Pilot: I think, I have lost my compass.
Tower: Judging the way you are flying, you lost the whole instrument panel!
Glad you liked it Palancole.
Targus, I like the Fedex One....Best one...I love them all..
A KingAir had just rotated (lifted-off the runway) at take-off when there was an enormous bang and the starboard engine burst into flames.
The stress took its toll on the Captain... He transmitted to the TOWER in a level friendly voice: "Ladies and gentleman. There is no problem at all but we're just going to land for a nice cup of tea."
He then switched to cabin intercom and screamed at the passengers: "Mayday. Mayday. Mayday. Engine fire. Prop won't feather. If I can't hold this asymmetric we're going in. Emergency landing. Get the crash crew out." The aircraft landed safely with the passengers' hair standing on end.
I'm quite impressed by Rizks' new Chinese girlfriend he met at teh Ramada. She said she is a pilot.
I'm not too keen on the eye patch and the hook though.
Very very hilarious and amazing jokes on Pilot.
http://pretty-little-liars.info/ , http://royal-pains-episodes.info/
good one
upload pic
After a particularly lousy landing made from the right seat of a commercial airliner, that FO heard the Captain announce "Ladies and gentlemen, XXX Airlines wishes to apologize for that rough landing provided today by our First Officer."
Some months later the same crew was together and, sure enough, the Captain made an even worse one. The First Officer immediately jumped on the intercom, announcing "Ladies and Gentlemen, XXX Airlines wishes to apologize for that rough landing provided today by our Captain."
The Captain turned angrily to his FO. "What did you say that for?"
"Remember a couple of months back when you did that to me?" the First Officer replied. "Now we're even!"
"But I never keyed the mike!" protested the Captain.
I just remembered one.
"In case of oxygen decompression , oxygen masks will fall down from the ceiling and untangling them will annoy you before you die"
haa haaa haaa?
Student Pilot: "I'm lost; I'm over a lake and heading toward the big E."
Controller: "Make several 90 degree turns so I can identify you on radar."
(short pause)...
Controller: "Okay then. That lake is the Atlantic Ocean. Suggest you turn to
the big W immediately ...
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So, a blonde fighter pilot was flying in a two ship one day. She was flying her heading just fine, when all of a sudden her wingman called, "We have Migs coming in at 6 o'clock!" She quickly took a thought, looked at her watch and said, "It's okay! It's only 5:30!
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Sadly Baburao got sacked from his job as a pilot on the very first day.
His boss said that he had a real bad altitude. :O(
A man telephoned an airline office in New York and asked, "How long does it take to fly to Boston?" The clerk said, "Just a minute..."
"Thank you," the man said and hung up
Tower: "Height and position?"
Pilot: "I am 1,80 m and I'm sitting.
ATC: "N123YZ, say altitude."
N123YZ: "ALTITUDE!"
ATC: "N123YZ, say airspeed."
N123YZ: "AIRSPEED!"
ATC: "N123YZ, say cancel IFR."
N123YZ: "Eight thousand feet, one hundred fifty knots indicated."
lovely joke
lol..tahsinmim.. a good one...
Captain Rizks is flying into Doha. The plane is in trouble, so he calls the tower and says, "HELP! HELP! Easter, News Year's Eve, Bank holiday Monday, Pancake Tuesday, Halloween, Bonfire night!"
A voice comes back and says, "For goodness sake, Rizks, it's Mayday."