When the other half is a sociopath, or serial rapist or something of that nature, then yes you have a problem, otherwise simply being 'fed up' in a marriage is no reason to terminate it.
I agree... having read the book and worn the T-shirt, that it is possible to have a better marriage on the basis of "learning to love" your partner - than by simply 'falling in love'. I agree also that most repeat marriages are either due to someone wanting the 'earth to move' for them ALL the time instead of being willing to dig up a little bit themselves, or simplyneeding someone to listen/talk to. Finding a new 'happy partner' is too easy, and usually starts with a heartfelt conversation with someone who is willing to simply 'listen'. If your partner was able to 'listen' when you needed them to, you wouldn't need to go elsewhere and 'share' the deepest feelings of your heart. And vice versa. And we know, that that kind of thing usually leads to more. But how great would it be if it was to lead to 'more' with your actual partner!
My man and I got into a fantastic marriage course, that just opened wide the doors to understanding what kind of a mess we'd been building for the past umpteen years. We knew nothing of how to communicate with each other, and perfectly naturally felt the other was to blame. So we learned how to talk. How to argue. How to listen. All new behaviour, that we thought just 'came naturally'. It doesn't!
Needless to say - having done the initial course and finding that we are best thing for each other since sliced bread - we now run that particular marriage course.
So if anyone is interested to do this marriage course, let us know.
Angelwings
If the grass is greener on the other side, its sure the water bill is higher !
When the other half is a sociopath, or serial rapist or something of that nature, then yes you have a problem, otherwise simply being 'fed up' in a marriage is no reason to terminate it.
I agree... having read the book and worn the T-shirt, that it is possible to have a better marriage on the basis of "learning to love" your partner - than by simply 'falling in love'. I agree also that most repeat marriages are either due to someone wanting the 'earth to move' for them ALL the time instead of being willing to dig up a little bit themselves, or simplyneeding someone to listen/talk to. Finding a new 'happy partner' is too easy, and usually starts with a heartfelt conversation with someone who is willing to simply 'listen'. If your partner was able to 'listen' when you needed them to, you wouldn't need to go elsewhere and 'share' the deepest feelings of your heart. And vice versa. And we know, that that kind of thing usually leads to more. But how great would it be if it was to lead to 'more' with your actual partner!
My man and I got into a fantastic marriage course, that just opened wide the doors to understanding what kind of a mess we'd been building for the past umpteen years. We knew nothing of how to communicate with each other, and perfectly naturally felt the other was to blame. So we learned how to talk. How to argue. How to listen. All new behaviour, that we thought just 'came naturally'. It doesn't!
Needless to say - having done the initial course and finding that we are best thing for each other since sliced bread - we now run that particular marriage course.
So if anyone is interested to do this marriage course, let us know.
Angelwings
If the grass is greener on the other side, its sure the water bill is higher !