If you look at FB you will see that those 5000 unflattering pictures of me looking old, dead, fragile, drunk and lecherous were all put on there by other people (you listening Novi?) and they were all doctored using Photoshop. I was never even at those events! I was at home doing needlework and solving Sudoku problems instead.

I am a venerable upstanding pillar of the community. Really. I am. Its true! Its not even a little bit untrue. Its a fact.

Just call me Tigasin. That's what I'm talking about